incorrectpeipquotes
Totally correct quotes from PEIP HQ
They have definitely said these things, trust me.
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Random PEIP Agent: Wilbur Cross is a deranged psychopath who is a traitor to not only the United States, but the entire world.
John McNamara: But you don't have all of the facts.
PEIP Agent: Which are?
John McNamara: I love him.
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Tis I! Your local lesbian! Here to remind you that I have sold my soul to James Tolbert!
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Wilbur: Do you know what the question I'm asked most often is?
Schaffer: "Will you please leave the premises?"
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Erik: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Lex: That'd suck because you can't microwave metal.
Xander: Good morning to everyone except these two.
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Lex: Erik, you're my brother, I'd take a bullet for you.
Erik: Your suicidal, so that means nothing to me.
#oop there it is#i almost switched this#but like....#home girl#lex foster#erik herbert#(robert peip agent)#incorrect PEIP quotes
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PEIP Psychiatrist: How are you sleeping?
Wilbur: Like a baby.
Wilbur: Every two hours I wake up screaming.
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Xander: Did you know that when you break a bone, it typically will heal back stronger than before?
Lex: So what you're saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become invincible?
Xander: No, that was absolutely not what I was saying.
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Wilbur: Accidently indulged in too much 'me time'. Turns out I've been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.
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John: Wilbur is staying at PEIP.
Howard: He should be in prison! Not your spare room.
John: It's basically a prison. I took away all the cushions!
Howard:...
John: Most of the cushions.
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John: Oh my god, what the fuck?
Wilbur: Xander said it was more sanitary to sneeze into an elbow.
John: He meant your own fucking elbow!
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Howard, late to a meeting at PEIP: Sorry it took me so long, I broke down on the way here.
John: Oh, is your car okay?
Howard: Car?
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William: *yawns*
Erik: I guess being pretty is tiring?
William: You must be exhausted then.
Erik: *intense blushing*
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Schaffer: Some people are like slinkies.
John: What?
Schaffer: Not really good for much, but brings a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
John:
John: Please don't push Wilbur down the stairs.
Schaffer: You can't stop me.
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*Erik and William after a fight*
Erik: Fine! *storms into the bathroom*
Erik: *immediately comes back over to William*
William: What?
Erik:... there's a spider in there. Can you get it please?
William, going to catch it: God, I love you.
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John: Private, why are you bleeding so much?
Erik: Oh, I was playing with a screwdriver and it went wrong, no biggie.
Later
William: *gets a paper cut*
Erik: That's it. I'm calling an ambulance.
#erik herbert#(robert peip agent)#william herbert#general mcnamara#john mcnamara#incorrect PEIP quotes
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Bob: Making my way down town.
Bob: Walking fast.
Bob:...
Bob:...
Bob: Walking a bot slower so my steps match with Howard's because he's short.
#is curt shorter than james?#idk#Howard Goodman#Bob Morris#Presidentialpowercouple#incorrect PEIP quotes
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Erik: Honestly, your last name sucks.
William: Excuse me?
Erik: It just doesn't suit you. I think you should change it.
William: Change it to what exactly?
Erik, getting down on one knee: Herbert.
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