incorrectuswntquotes

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Well, everyone calls me Panic Petunia, but my real name is Samantha…? I think…

Sam Mewis

#uswnt #sam mewis #source: parks and recreation

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Media: So your coaching failed?

Jill: It didn’t fail, it was pre-successful.

#uswnt #jill ellis #source: the good place

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Alex: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want.

Tobin: Tell me about it.

Alex: I murdered Ash last night.

Tobin: I feel you.

Alex: Now that I have the taste for blood, I can't stop murdering.

Tobin: Been there.

#USWNT #alex morgan #tobin heath #ashlyn harris #source: brooklyn nine nine

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Alex: Is that a centipede on your shirt? That’s what you went with?

Christen: Centipedes are agile and fierce, like us. You could say we are human centipedes.

Alex: I told you not to use that term. You didn’t watch the movie, did you?

Christen: It was in the horror section!

#uswnt #alex morgan #christen press #source: scorpion

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Carli: I’ve come to offer you some friendly advice.

Becky: I really don’t want your advice.

Carli: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

#uswnt #carli lloyd #becky sauerbrunn #source: gilmore girls

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Sonnett: I sure showed those refs, huh?

Sonnett: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?

#uswnt #emily sonnett #source: the marvelous misadventures of flapjack

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She’s my best friend, she’s like a sister to me, but she’s a disaster.

Christen (about Kelley)

#uswnt #christen press #kelley o'hara #source: parks and recreation

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Mal: Maybe the real pay equality was the friends we made along the way!

Becky: No, I want my fucking money.

#uswnt #mallory pugh #becky sauerbrunn #source: buzzfeed unsolved

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Help! Christen keeps sending me snaps and texting me “check your snapchat ;-)” but it’s just pictures of her dog.

Tobin

#incorrectuswntquotes #tobin heath #christen press #source: tumblr text post

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[Sky Blue Locker Room]

Carli: We have fun, don’t we?

Kailen: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

#incorrectuswntquotes #Carli Lloyd #Kailen Sheridan #source: the good place

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Christen: Do you have your electric toothbrush?

JJ: Uh huh.

Christen: Flat iron?

JJ: Uh huh.

Christen: Headbands?

JJ: Uh huh.

Christen: 85 spf sunscreen for your truly precious pores?

JJ: Uh huh.

#incorrectuswntquotes #christen press #julie johnston #source: broad city

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[Tobin arriving at PSG]

Lindsey: Do you speak French?

Tobin: I have seen a few scenes of that candlestick speaking in Beauty and the Beast.

#incorrectuswntquotes #lindsey horan #tobin heath #source: tumblr text post

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Kristie: Here’s the rest of your clothes. I went ahead and labelled the box “what were you thinking?”

Sam: That’s funny.

Sam: I was just about to go write the same thing on Rachel.

#incorrectuswntquotes #kristie mewis #sam mewis #rachel daly #source: friends

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You have to remember something: we’re dealing with rookies. They need to be terrified. It’s like mother’s milk to them. Without it, their bones won’t grow properly.

Carli

#incorrectuswntquotes #carli lloyd #source: glee

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Kelley: Christen, is this just your way of telling me that you had a huge crush on me in college?

Christen: Kelley. No.

Kelley: Come on! You’re madly in love with me.

#incorrectuswntquotes #kelley o'hara #christen press #source: the l word

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[The team is down at halftime]

Becky: What are we going to do?

Mal: I could start a fire.

Becky: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

#incorrectuswntquotes #becky sauerbrunn #mallory pugh #source: modern family

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Jill: I don't know why you won't tell me where the party is.

Kelley: Because you'll show up.

#incorrectuswntquotes #jill ellis #kelley o'hara #source: castle