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jetsfan2254 · 5 years

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Survival City

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong in this world? Do you feel like your home isn’t really home? Even at home you’re not truly where you belong. I’ve often felt this longing feeling to go home. Am I the only one that wants to go home? Does anyone else feel like they’re lost in a world they don’t belong to, even with family and friends in the comfort of your own home? Does the comfort feel uncomfortable? I’ve felt this way many times over the years. I’ve gotten this unconscious feeling that I’m stuck somewhere that isn’t my home. Like I got left here and I’ve adapted to my surroundings but I’m not from here. I long to feel like I’m home but I don’t know what home is.

On a particular evening a few weeks ago, I felt that feeling pulling at my cognizance. I sat there in my room, feeling lonely. Not the loneliness of being without people or even the feeling of being unloved. I knew I wasn’t truly alone, obviously my parents were just downstairs. I mean, I love my parents. They’re good parents… as good as someone could ask for. They almost always support me and they certainly care about me. I have friends, even close friends that I could call, that are always there for me. I could just go downstairs and interact with other humans but this feeling was a kind of other worldly loneliness. I still don’t know what triggers these feelings. I just got this strong urging to try to find where I’m truly from. I wonder if anyone else knows this feeling I’m talking about.

I’ve searched this subject on Google countless times. Pretty much anytime I felt this way. There are tons of suggestions: mental illness, spiritual awakenings, drug abuse, and even hormones. I don’t do drugs, and this isn’t some spiritual awakening that involves astral projection or something. None of these choices quite line up with exactly how I feel. Then I found a search result that actually made sense. It was an article about quantum physics and a theory called “quantum entanglement”. Quantum entanglement is basically a phenomenon where two objects or events can directly affect an object or event in another quantum state even if they’re separated by great distance and even makes an argument for the existence of other dimensions. This was a thought I’d never had before. Einstein first discovered this theory in the 30’s. It wasn’t a direct explanation for the feeling I have been having but it did open some doors for me to look a little deeper. I could be experiencing a pull from some other dimension or reality that I was from and the changes in that reality cause a reaction in this one.

I must have watched hours of videos on YouTube and read countless articles about other dimensions, quantum mechanics, space and time, and theories surrounding displaced matter. I assumed that this other place, this “dimension” that feels like home, is close to our reality. Like this other dimension is neighboring our own. The idea is that these dimensions travel through time and space differently than ours but sort of in single file lines. The lines can be in any order at any given time but at certain times one dimension can be closer to another and I believe that each time I feel homesick that the dimension I’m from is closer than usual. It felt stronger all the time. I just wanted so badly to find my place. Days went by, thinking and dreaming of finding my way home. What did I have to do to get there? I don’t have any memories from ever being somewhere else or even how I got here. Yet, I can’t shake this feeling that I’m not where I belong. Was I in some sort of Truman show scenario?

As I did more research on other dimensions and alternate realities, I found myself falling deeper down the rabbit hole. I discovered things like the Mandela Effect. A theory created by what appeared to be improperly recounted memories that multiple people can recall. Something like a change in reality, where two separate realities converged and you veered off from one to the other. In effect causing you to have memories of events that don’t line up with the truth of the events in the reality you’re currently living in. It originated around the false memories shared by perhaps thousands of people over the death of South African leader Nelson Mandela in the 1980s. It was believed that Nelson Mandela died in prison, many recalling news clips of his funeral, South Africa mourning his loss, riots in cities, and even a speech made by his widow. His actual death was on December 5th, 2013 of a respiratory tract infection. This has caused websites, conspiracy theories and theorizers to believe in the potential of an alternate reality in which Mandela DID truly die in the 80s. That had to be the explanation for this feeling, but how could I prove it though? I believe that I belong in another dimension than the one I’m living in but how do I prove a theory of alternate realities without any memories to back up my claim.

That morning I went to the library at school during flex period to do more research. I read different accounts of Mandela Effect cases. I was fascinated by it all. What people weren’t realizing was, they felt just like I did. They knew they belonged somewhere else and had memories of another world but somehow were taken off course. Stuck in a world that wasn’t their own. I feel this constant tug inside of me to go deeper, yet none of these articles could tell me how to get to one of these other dimensions.

It was midnight and I was tired, I had a long day and my mind was weary from all of this searching. My eyes hurt, they felt dry and heavy. I couldn’t focus on what I was reading anymore and I yelled at the top of my lungs, “Show me how to get home! I just wanna go home! How do I get there?” I smashed my head against my computer monitor in my bedroom and my mom came running down the hall. She asked me what the commotion was about and why I was yelling in the middle of the night. She didn’t want me waking the neighbors and I should have been in bed an hour ago. I told her I was sorry as I stormed off to the bathroom in a huff. I just stood there looking in the mirror trying to come up with some way to manifest this other dimension, until I got so tired that I just sat down on the floor and passed out.

I remember waking up sometime after that to an ear-shattering sound. It was like nails on a chalkboard amplified through a guitar amp with the gain turned up too high. It brought tears to my eyes, it was so shrill. I half expected my mom or dad to come barreling into the room after a sound like that. I had been asleep so my eyes were still adjusting to their surroundings but I saw the room starting to expand. Everything was still blurry but the room sort of stretched out and everything got disfigured. As my eyes began to focus, I could see a blinding light. It was so bright, but not even a color. It wasn’t white or yellow, it was just bright. My eyes burned as I watched it but I couldn’t look away. The light was so blinding and a hole began to open in the middle of it. The boarder outlining the hole was very faded. It was like I was peering through an open window in the air, about the size of a car window if it were streaked with waves of wispy cotton balls, like Dollar Store cobwebs used to decorate houses at Halloween. The longer I stared at it I could see the outline of another place through the hole. There were buildings, grass, birds, trees, and even water. Everything was more colorful than what I was used to though. There were streams of water in the sky, and the roads were an amber color. The hues and tones were like something out of an indie film but so vibrant, even peering through the cloudy film of the portal I observed it all from. Looking into the expanse, I saw the image begin to change. The scenery was different, this time, a quaint Main Street with tiny shops lining the left and right side of the street. Then a dark, desertscape with rusty road signs in the background but no matter the scene, I couldn’t get a full picture. The blinding light and the size of the opening just wouldn’t allow for full clarity.

Then I realized my body was reacting to the changes happening around me. For the first time ever, I could feel myself. It was like the cells of my body were awakened inside me and I could sense them moving. I was being pulled toward the light, I felt my heart pumping and even my blood flowing beneath my skin. It sounds terrible but it was almost euphoric. I’ve never felt so alive. My body separated, tore itself into pieces and I was so acutely aware of every movement. It transitioned into particles and the particles floated through the cottony, vapor-like wall into what seemed to be a cityscape. The specks of my body drifted along until they finally began to rematerialize on the platform outside of what looked like a bus station. It was an old 50s style bus terminal with a few benches inside, a restroom and a ticket counter. However, there were some very modern additions. The colors were vibrant like what I saw through the portal but now nothing was obstructing my view, they were more enhanced than anything I was used to. There were chrome accents on the walls, and the lighting in the room seemed natural, almost like sunlight but there were no windows or light fixtures in the room. I looked around but didn’t see the portal anymore and this place was certainly not part of my hometown. I recognized it right away though. I knew I’d been here before. The station was bustling with people, the benches were full and there were travelers rushing to catch their ride. Announcements of arrivals and departures rang out through the air from a wall mounted loudspeaker. There was something so familiar about this place.

I made my way to the ticket booth and asked the attendant where I was. He smiled and informed me that I was at Caligeria Station. That didn’t exactly answer my question but I didn’t know what I was expecting. The man looked quite different from the type of person I’m used to seeing, his hair sort of floating in the air but not from use of any noticeable styling products and his clothing was a shimmering vermilion color with no noticeable seams or stitching. He had indented lips that were almost catlike and his accent was thick but not familiar. I asked why it was so busy and what all these people were here for. He laughed, “probably the same reason you’re here.” I asked what he meant and he handed me some kind of computer tablet. It was a warning flyer stating that the Atomic Energy Commission was given the right to perform atomic testing in part of the Caligeria Recreational Housing District. We were hours away from the biggest atomic bomb test this city had ever known. “They’re either trying to get away from it or trying to get closer to it”, the attendant explained. It dawned on me that all these people were either tourists coming for their chance to see the reaction an atomic bomb would have or to flee the city before they would get caught in its aftermath.

I was still trying to wrap my head around how I knew the bus station but I knew I wasn’t going to be able to leave. Something was urging me to go to the bomb testing site and in all reality how often do you get the chance to see a weapon of that caliber used in testing within the public eye. I asked how much a ticket was to take a shuttle to the testing site. The attendant looked at me and said the shuttle was free of charge. The government wanted everyone to know the power it holds and didn’t want to hide the testing from the general population. It was actually nice to think that a government entity would actually try to be transparent.

I talked to as many people waiting at the bus station as I could to try to get more information. Apparently, tourists stayed in the city and shuttled back and forth to the testing site. The weather had been so bad that the test kept getting postponed. The number of tourists had gone down, as they were fed up from days and weeks of waiting. Lucky for me that left openings to tag along. When the shuttle arrived, I stepped outside. The shuttle had a metallic gold tint with smooth edges, a wide curved front and hovered above a track like you would see a tram use. I couldn’t see any way that the shuttle connected to the track, it just sort of levitated over top of it. It didn’t seem like there were any windows inside the tram, it was a solid structure and the door that opened was just a gapping cylindrical hole in the side of the vehicle. I boarded and instantly realized that I could see right through the sides of the walls. It was like there were no walls inside at all. Just a floor to stand on and seats lining the sides. It was very cramped, overflowing with clamoring riders discussing the possible outcomes of the atomic blast. People couldn’t imagine what they were about to witness. I overheard one passenger mention that a town had been placed at the site to show the effects of an atomic explosion on a small civilization. It was this creepy sense of detail that made me feel unnerved by this experiment.

I looked out at the world we were passing by and the city was incredible. We passed by giant, spiraling skyscrapers with elongated spires reaching up to the skyline. Vibrant colors covered the buildings, changing and distorting from the reflection of the sun. We weaved through massive crowds of people walking across suspended sidewalks that hung in midair. We drove through the industrial sector, it was a domed off sub-section of the city that contained businesses, restaurants, and factories. Signage was presented on mobile digital displays that float along the railway and every vehicle uses the tram tracks to get around. The buildings were covered with solar panels and everything was in constant motion. I heard a voice come over the intercom stating that we would be arriving at the testing site within moments.

That’s when I overheard one guy say that the homes were still occupied with live people. The government intends to study the reaction a blast would have on live subjects. The effects to flesh, muscle tissue, and various types of fabrics and clothing materials. I felt my stomach drop. I had to have misheard that. What government would mandate the use of weapons of war on its own people. I felt a sense of existential dread. I couldn’t watch people suffer and die for the sake of a study. When I boarded, I was excited to see the weapons power, to see history in the making, but not at the expense of innocent lives.

I couldn’t get off the transport and the closer we got the more scared I became. This is an atomic explosion, I’m about to witness an atomic explosion. The same kind of bomb that devastated Hiroshima in World War II! I wasn’t ready. A group of soldiers boarded the shuttle as we pulled into the station. Pith helmets and goggles were issued to each person. This was getting more real by the moment and I could feel my anxiety setting in. I looked around the bus at all the people, trying to calm my nerves. They were frantic, excited and seemingly unfazed by the impending slaughter of their own kind.

Soldiers led us out to a fenced in area about six miles outside of the housing development about to be leveled by the bomb. With all of the futuristic technology and advancements I’d been seeing, this was just a normal chain-link fence. The site looked as though it had been active for many years and not really updated. The fence had spots of rust and the surrounding area was very desolate with very little upkeep. Garbage and old rusted signage lay around the area. A giant monitor descended from above us with a close up of the homes and the streets. There were families playing in their yards, kids on hoverboards, dad’s washing their vehicles in the driveway. The homes were unlike anything else I’d seen in this city. They were very plain, much like the houses where I’m from. It was just like any rural neighborhood. White siding, shutters on the windows, and asphalt driveways. Everything was so familiar, not only by just a generic look but it was like I’d been there. I knew that housing development. I knew this neighborhood somehow. Then the camera panned over to a tiny, ranch style home. It had tan colored bricks and dark shutters. A car was pulling into the driveway, a man and a woman stepped out of the car. The man went around to the back door and opened the hatch. He was fidgeting with something and then emerged a little boy. The boy was about two or three years old. He had straggly brown hair and a blue t-shirt on with a picture of a city on the front. He was trying to stay awake as his dad carried him out of the car. I looked closely at the man, he had black hair it was combed off to one side and a neatly trimmed mustache. He was wearing a black sweatshirt with some kind of futuristic looking pants that didn’t have stitching seams. His eyes were a hazel color and they were eyes I’ve seen thousands of times. They were my dad’s eyes. In fact, the man was unmistakably my father. Younger and skinnier but without a doubt my dad. My eyes drifted over to the woman, she had short, brown hair, blue eyes and was wearing a navy-blue dress. She was looking at the little boy, smiling from ear to ear. It was a smile that I see every day. That was my mom standing there. As plain as day on that gigantic monitor, in this eerily familiar dystopia was my family. I was about to watch my own family get slaughtered buying atomic weapon used in a government experiment.

Security was very tight, guards were lined up against the fence about every ten feet. The security officers were in full body armor, gray in color, and shiny in appearance. They had helmets on with tinted visors so you could not see their faces and held oddly shaped guns with very wide, rounded barrels. The scene on the monitor changed to show a list of rules for on lookers. A booming voice came out of the monitor directed at each of us standing there. The voice was loud and harsh as it reviewed the rules and explained the summary of today’s testing. The rules were pretty self-explanatory. No running or talking during testing, no photography is allowed at all (nor are cell phones, tablets, laptops, binoculars, etc.). The monitor is provided for optimal viewing. No food or drinks are permitted in the viewing area. No children under 14-year-olds or pregnant women are permitted on site due to the possibility of radioactivity.

I was so upset, I was sweating profusely and was feeling lightheaded awaiting the public execution of my own family. This can’t be what I had been longing for. The monitor voiced that the experiment was about to commence. “The experiment will proceed as follows” the voice continued. “Twelve low income families, meeting a variety of criteria that our government deemed unenviable were chosen at random to live free of charge in our testing facility neighborhood and were compensated for their cooperation in this government mandated trial. For the last year they have lived unaware of the purpose for this experiment, with no knowledge of the weapons test. As many of you are aware, our society’s immense technological growth has caused issues of overpopulation which currently threatens our economic well-being. Effecting various environmental and social factors such as pollution, malnutrition, overcrowded living conditions, and lack of health care. Our country has become the target of many foreign nations and their desire to control and regulate our technological advancements. The Caligeria Housing Project, codenamed “Survival City” paved the way to resolving two landmark issues related to world status and overpopulation. The citizens of Survival City believe that this housing development marks their chance at survival in a world they had no chance of surviving in, while the reality is that through their unknowing sacrifice, they will be allowing our nation to survive for another decade as the head of the world system. Through this new trial we will prove that our society is the leader of all technological, political, and militant enterprises through a worldwide broadcast demonstration of power. Our scientists have worked tirelessly for years to develop the most cutting-edge nuclear weaponry this world has ever seen, to offer our upper middleclass and elite class citizens with a sense of safety and protection from all foreign opposition. In an attempt to control the over growth in current population, these twelve low income households were selected to be the human trials for these new weapons. Through their participation we can then calculate the distance, strength and overall destructive capability of these new atomic bombs while studying their effects on flesh, muscle, bone, and bone density. We can determine the reactive nature of a variety of factors involving clothing material and fabric, as well as the structural integrity of various types of building materials and housing structures. This will strengthen our nation and carry us ahead of those who have come before us, while eliminating an undesirable subsection of our population to make room for higher echelon families to fill in the gaps and create room for the growth of a stronger society. In five minutes a sixty second countdown will begin and the bomb will be dropped. Please put on your helmets and goggles at this time and ensure you follow all rules laid out to this point. In case of emergency each security officer has a “dimensional threshold device” on his or her person to fabricate an opening between dimensions to safely evacuate the area before harm can come to any of you. Please follow directions and be safe.”

This was worse than I could have ever imagined. These people, my family included, had no idea they were lambs being sent to the slaughter. They were unknowingly dying for the sake of an unrighteous dictatorship and my life hung in the balance. There I was as a small child, mere miles away about to die, ending any chance I have of ever becoming anything. What would even happen if I died out there? Would I just cease to exist? I couldn’t take that risk. I had to warn my family and save my childhood. I had no idea what I would do but I had to think fast. We were less than minutes away from this destructive chaos and I had to get to them before it happened.

My adrenaline had kicked in at this point and in a fit of pure compulsion I charged the fence. I grabbed the chain-link grooves and climbed up, jumping over the top. I could hear the crowd behind me in a panic. They screamed and the guards began to chase after me. I was grossly outnumbered and I was terrified I would be caught. The ground was sandy and uneven. I was trying to keep my footing and while staying alert looked to my left as I ran seeing one of the guards making their way towards me. A siren began to whine in the background and I was panicking. I couldn’t catch my breath and I wasn’t anywhere near the housing development. I heard a faint whistling sound pass by my head and before I knew what was happening a portal opened up right in front of me. A security officer leapt from the portal and tackled me to the ground as the other one flanked me from the left. We all lay on the ground and one of the guards tried to punch me. I rolled to the side, dodging the fist but was still stuck under the other officer. I grabbed him by the arm and kicked my legs as fiercely as I could. I was able to push him off and we both rose to our feet. I could hear people screaming and the sirens were getting louder. The other guard still laying on the ground reached for his gun and shot straight at me. I braced myself for impact but was surprised to feel my body start to disassemble itself like earlier. A portal opened and I was thrust through it, rematerializing behind the fence again. I realized that my only chance to get to the housing district was to use one of the “dimensional threshold devices”. A woman screamed when she saw me fall out of the portal. A guard charged at me but I rolled away, kicking him in the leg. The guard started to topple and I grabbed his foot and twisted it. I jumped up as quick as I could but I couldn’t reach the officer’s portal gun. I had so many thoughts rushing through my head at the moment but I had no idea what to do.

A couple of guards rushed me and grabbed my arms, completely immobilizing me. There were people running in every direction. I was confined to my knees, trying to pull away but I struggled in vain. I couldn’t think straight with all the noise. I looked around and noticed a man approaching me through the chaos. He had a long jaw, which elongated his head and his face was angry. The man was wearing some type of uniform, it was silver and seamless, with large boots that came up to the middle of his calves. He looked aggressively in my direction, moving quickly through the crowd towards me.

When the man finally made it to me, he looked at me intently without saying a word. I looked back at him waiting for him to speak or act. The people around us were still fleeing in loud panicked confusion, but silence of the man just standing there looking at me was deafening. The man looked at some guards that were standing along the fence and told them to go get the crowd under control. The guards nodded and walked toward the frantic crowd of tourists. The man looked back at me. “What were you planning?”, he asked me. I looked up at him in silence, not sure how to respond. He continued, “Why would you try to sabotage a government mandated experiment?” I thought about what he said but I didn’t owe him any explanation, I didn’t even know who this guy was. “Why should I tell you anything?” I asked, “I don’t even know who you are…” He stared at me for a moment and brought his face in close to mine. “I’m the head of this military operation and the commanding official over these security officers.”, he informed me, “I’m to make sure this test is a success no matter the cost.” It was obvious that I wasn’t getting out of this so I decided to tell the truth, at least as much of the truth that mattered. “My family is down there. They’re in that housing development, and I wanted to warn them before the bomb detonated and try to get them to safety…”, I said. “I thought you looked familiar” the man replied, “but that would be a direct violation of the code of conduct for this experiment!”

The guards managed to get the crowd under control and the people stood in collective anticipation to witness a nuclear holocaust. The man that stood above me told the security officers to throw me off the premises and start the countdown for the atomic bomb to be deploued. I had to think fast if I was going to have any chance of saving my family. “Wait!”, I cried as the man looked back at me in utter disdain, “if you’re going to slaughter my family for the sake of science and status, than let me die with them.” The man sighed and looked at the monitor overhead. He asked me to point out my parent’s house on the screen and I and did so. He reached for one of the guard’s dimensional threshold devices and adjusted some type of dial on the top of the gun. He ordered the guards to take me to my parent’s house and let me there to die with them. The man returned the portal gun to the officer he’d taken it from and the officer opened a breech right in front of us. It had that same fuzzy, cottony covering that the first portal I entered had and I could see my parent’s on the other side. I felt my body separate into tiny particles again. We moved through the dimension and emerged in my parents living room. The guards still held me by the arms as I knelt there.

My dad saw the postal open and ran toward us. He had a look of surprise on his face but his voice conveyed confidence. “What’s going on?” He yelled. I informed him about the bomb, knowing there wasn’t time to go into detail about anything, especially not that I was his son. I explained that I am from another dimension and that I was trying to save his family from the impending nuclear attack but I was stopped by these guards and was sentenced to death along with everyone in this neighborhood. Just then I heard the siren from earlier off in the distance. The countdown had begun and we had sixty seconds before it was all over. I could hear the robotic voice counting down the seconds from somewhere outside the house. The guards were distracted by the sound of the siren and I took advantage of their lapse in judgement. I kicked off the ground from a kneeling position, knocking the guards off balance. I pulled one of the officers under my left arm as we fell so I could shift my full weight onto his arm. When we hit the ground I could hear his bone snapping as my body collapsed on top of that arm. He dropped the dimensional threshold device and I yelled for my dad to grab it. The other guard lunged for it but wasn’t as quick as my dad. The countdown had reached 30 seconds and I could feel my chest tightening. My dad grabbed the gun and pointed it the guard and I.

“You have to trust me,” I cried, “if you don’t your family will die. This bomb is seconds away from wiping out this neighborhood with you and everyone in it. Think of your son… think of his future.” I can see my dad’s hand begin to shake as he held the portal gun. Just then my mom came around the corner behind where my dad was standing, she was holding me in her arms. She tried to speak but the words just would come out, the look of pure terror on her face was so out of character for her. I saw my family, scared and confused and I knew this could be the end. I looked to my right and saw the other guard whose arm I hadn’t broken reach for his dimensional threshold device to open a breach to escape. I sprung to my feet and kicked it out of his hand. Tripping over the other guard as I grabbed for it. I turned the dial on the top of the gun that I had saw their leader messing with previously. I pointed the gun and opened a rift right next to my parents and my child-self. I saw the portal open and on the other side I could see my house. The house I had been in mere hours ago. The house I was truly safe inside. It wasn’t a coincidence. This was fate. “Go!”, I screamed, beckoning my parents to head through the portal. They hesitated, I could hear the countdown: “Ten seconds until atomic detonation”

“Please, go now!” I pleaded with tears in my eyes. I ran towards my family and reached out to push them through. They jumped forward and the riff took hold of them. I watched as their bodies were converted into particles and they were thrust through the gateway to the other side. I ran to catch up with them but one of the guards grabbed my leg. I fell to the ground as the countdown completed. I could hear the whistle of the bomb as it reached the city. As the bomb touched down all I could see was a bright light. It burned with an intensity I’d never experienced before. The light wasn’t white or yellow, it was just bright. So bright and unrelenting. The detonation came with a force unlike anything humanely comprehendible. I felt my ear drums rupture and the heat burn the flesh right off my bones. My sinews melted and I lost all sight. The pain was so brief but everything was so clearly defined. I knew everything that was happening, I sensed every emotion, every sensation, that moment passed like it was frozen in time and then there was nothing.

My eyes came open, and everything was blurry. I rubbed my eyes to try to bring them into focus. The images started to clear up and I could see that I was laying on the floor of the bathroom. I was back in my parent’s house, where I’d been before crossing through that portal. I was alive. I’ve never been so happy to be alive. I’ve never felt more at home then how I did in that moment. The truth was that the place I belonged, the place that I had searched so long for, that I spent hours and days trying to find my way to… was a house intended for destruction. That I had been destined to die at the hands of a power hungry dystopian government. That the reality is, I should be dead. I was right when I said I don’t belong here, but for the first time in my life I was so happy to not belong.

I was given a second chance at life. Pushing my family through that portal and having a chance to live past my toddler years. I would’ve been dead, and so would my family. It sickens me to think of the lives that were lost but I’ve been given a second chance to change the future before it gets to that point. This isn’t an opportunity I’m going to waste. What I now realize is, sometimes when you’re not where you belong, you’re right where you’re meant to be to change the world.

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