jhorofin

[jhorofin]

So eto na nga, Gagi kaninang umaga mg partner and I had one of best sex ever. Hahaha! Akala ko best na yung last time, mas okay pala tong ngayon. Normally I would really write about this things sa starbucks planner ko na regalo nya sakin to show him that I use it. Kaso this is something that I cannot contain at di ko kaya isulat sa planner kase baka may ibang makabasa. Wahaha! I just wanna have this logged so I can remember this. But one thing that makes this experience different from others is I got to experience hands free. Hahaha

#personal

[jhorofin]

Could it be any worst? So we went to Siargao to finally unwind. Siguro in a way kasalanan ko din kase pagpunta palang namin masama na talaga yung mood ko.

My partner enrolled in this fitness program called Kaizen. Sabi nya sakin he wanted to enroll to it to be a better version of himself and para daw pag punta namin ng Siargao may abs na sya. but the program started late and inabot na yung Siargao trip namin.

This is supposed to be a 5th anniversary getaway and first time namin pareho dito. Only to come in Siargao na he has to watch his diet, count his calories and have 20k steps a day. That said we didn't get the full food experience in Siargao, and had to do workouts and walking. Even the sex wasn't good anymore kase ubos na yung energy nya.

So syempre ginaslight ko pa yung sarili ko na it's okay, para naman sa kanya yun, I need to be supportive and I need to understand him. But one night, di ko na talaga nakayanan and I confronted him on all that I am feeling. He cried and said na valid naman daw lahat ng feelings ko and he totally understand. So we got an agreement na I will support him still on everything until matapos nya yung buong fitness journey.

And boom! We got into a motorcycle accident sa Siargqao. binunggo kami ng lasing who went straight to us. Local resident sya. Lasing, walang lisensya, walang rehistro ang motor, walang plate number and walang helmet. His motor went straight to my knee since backride ako. We were wounded and totally in pain. Dinala kami sa ospital to treat our wounds and then sa police station to give our statement for the report while the person na nakabangga samin had head injury, dinala sa ospital then on the latter tumakas. We were advised bed rest so the rest of our days di na kami nakapag explore, dagat and surfing.

Pina Xray yung tuhod ko and so far wala naman fracture but it's been swollen for more than a week now.

Then just when we got back to Manila, Yung driver naman namin nakatulog while driving. Bumunggo sya sa nakaparadang jeep and look at the damage sa sasakyan namin. While looking at it, di ko napigilang maiyak as the memories of our struggle in saving money and paying monthly for it all came back. Yung hirap at pagod na pinilit naming kayanin just to have our very own car. I feel so drained, depressed and so frustrated. Di pa ako nakakarecover sa lahat and yet may dumagdag pa. Now I am so anxious about the cost of repairs and kung sasagutin ba ng insurance. Lord, tama na po please. 🥹

#memories #personal

[jhorofin]

Bagong gising but I just think the lighting here is good. Lol

#memories

[jhorofin]

Hindi nahit ang number of steps goal before 12am haha

#memories

[jhorofin]

Bakit ba kase ang hirap magpapayat?

#memories

[jhorofin]

VRP sucks! Well… I guess most doctors do. My partner has a post surgery checkup. We are scheduled 1pm today and we went here 12:30pm. We were waiting for about an hour and half and the doctor is nowhere to be seen until we already followed up with them. Only to find out that the doctor is in a meeting and will take another hour to attend to us. Like seriously? Wala ba kayong calendar for patient appointment? We’ve been waiting for an hour and a half then ang sasabihin nyo lang is we have to wait for another hour or more? Ganito ba talaga ba doctor? It gives you the entitlement to be late and make your patients wait? It’s not like we’re availing free service. Private hospital naman toh and we are paying for everything including the freaking 1500 pesos professional fee just to clean the wound.

#personal

[jhorofin]

Today I was at the gym. Thinking a lot about everything. Medyo nakakainis kase mga nangyayari and I think it is all just me. So my partner joined this fitness thing called Kaizen. At first I was really supportive of him kase syempre it will benefit him in the long run health wise and being fit. So i even did a lot of research on how to cook food with low calories and high protein to show that I really support him.

But lately I have been feeling so depressed. Alam mo yung feeling na nagbago na ang lahat? We normally find partners and engage in a relationship because of common grounds that we find in another person. For us, it’s going out on dates, food trip, movies playing games and just spending time together. Pero ngayon ever since that Kaizen shit, we no longer go out on dates, we rarely spend time together, he no longer play video games and we don’t even eat the same food anymore.

I mean I get it. It’s part of the process. It’s just that, alam mo yung parang breakup yung feeling when you just got used to being with someone and doing things together then you suddenly wake up one day na everything is just not how it used to be anymore.

Ang nakakainis pa is we will be going to Siargao for our 5th anniversary and it is our first time there tapos ganyan, he has to watch what he eats, then more more exercise, more walking and kung anu pa. I just hate it.

Most of the time ginagaslight ko naman yung sarili ko na it is for the best, na I have to be supportive, nagiinarte nanaman ako. But I guess this is where you can really invalidate what you feel inside until it gets addressed.

#personal #memories

[jhorofin]

So today was just worse than yesterday. I feel so bad and feel so depressed.

#personal

[jhorofin]

It's been a while.

#memories

[jhorofin]

Feeling hiker. lol

#memories

[jhorofin]

Bakit minsan if you fought for your worth, ikaw pa yung lalabas na masama, mayabang and most of the time sasabihin pa sayo, ang taas ng tingin mo sa sarili mo.

#thoughts #personal

[jhorofin]

To buy or not to buy the magic keyboard? Hmmm…

#thoughts

[jhorofin]

I really feel like I need to take this all out otherwise, kikimkimin ko toh at forever na sasama ang loob ko. So my dad retired some time in 2022. Nakakuha sya ng retirement bonus nya amounting to almost 1.5 million pesos. So as a breadwinner, kahit papaano mejo naging kampante na ako kase alam ko na may pera na ang parents ko and somehow I can already lay low. I even asked them to use and spend their money wisely. I will still cover all the bills para hindi nila magalaw yung pera nila and i didn't want to dictate on how they should spend their money kase retirement nila yun eh. They have all the right in the world to spend it however they want to. But I remind them almost everyday na last money na nila yun and they should save it for cases like emergencies. So ayun, isang taon pa lang ubos na lahat yung pera. I was so mad I couldn't even express it. Pero hinayaan ko nalang. Then come 2023, nagkaroon ng big project si papa and he will have a commission once matapos yung project. he did get it. amounting to 100k. Again, I reminded them and even begged them not to spend it anymore kase nga they should have something in case of emergencies but just when I was saying it, ubos na pala yug pera.

#personal

[jhorofin]

#thoughts

[jhorofin]

by wilderpoetry

[jhorofin]

Had a quick catch up chat with someone. hehehe

#memories

[jhorofin]

A quick date and getaway with my jowa. Lord, what did I ever do to deserve this guy? We went to the mall para bumili ng pang exchange gifts namin with our friends. Right then and there, he wanted to buy gifts for everyone in my family. I am more than blessed to have this guy in my life.

#memories