kidcataldo

[kidcataldo]

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it really hit me tonight/early this morning. I hadn’t cried about it yet, didn’t think I ever would but reality checked in when I started writing the rough draft of his obituary (bc I didn’t think anyone would want to write it after the fact) and I just didn’t want to be alone after that, but we’re a family of introverts who like being alone so I played video games to distract myself. I started sobbing putting dishes away.

He doesn’t do much. He never has. My grandma sends the cards and buys the gifts and cooks the food. But he’s always there. Never again will he pull out his pocket knife when we’re having difficulty opening gifts. Or say, “that’s fine” when something isn’t fine but he’s too stubborn to speak up about it. Or be sitting in his big chair in front of the television watching the news or the race or basketball when we come in.

I hate thinking of him as already being gone and I want to be positive especially for my grandma, but he’s in so much pain and that’s his mindset right now. Right now it’s a roller coaster. It’s up and down. Somewhere deep down I still hope for a miraculous recovery.

I wonder if I’ll cry when my dad dies. We don’t have a close relationship. We don’t have a relationship at all. I didn’t cry when my dad’s dad died. I just had a sinking feeling in my stomach, because I didn’t know him well and I felt bad about not seeing him a lot.

I kind of wish we were still religious and I still believed in a god because I feel like I should be praying but it’s awkward.

Anyway, sorry to unload all this on here. Just need somewhere to vent. It doesn’t help that I’m on my period.

#personal

[kidcataldo]

sending you hugs 🫂

thanks so much!!!

[kidcataldo]

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her dad came over to tell her, i wrapped my sister’s bday gifts from my mom (whose bday is tomorrow) in case something happens before tomorrow, my cousin can’t just sit around waiting for the call so we’re going to Starbucks to get coffee for her and then Kroger to get the tea that her mom likes, funny how the sun still stays up

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I know my grandpa’s about to die and I can’t tell me cousin who doesn’t know yet because her parents want to be the one to tell her and I’m just sitting here acting like everything’s fine but it’s not, papa is about to die but I somehow hope he’s going to have a miraculous recovery. I wish I could pray again

[kidcataldo]

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I know my grandpa’s about to die and I can’t tell me cousin who doesn’t know yet because her parents want to be the one to tell her and I’m just sitting here acting like everything’s fine but it’s not, papa is about to die but I somehow hope he’s going to have a miraculous recovery. I wish I could pray again

#personal

[kidcataldo]

[kidcataldo]

Mary Oliver, from Serengeti

[kidcataldo]

Setting a few things straight:

1. magneto was right (accepted all mutants to his cause instead of just the pretty ones, taught them to love and respect themselves, actively fought against anti-mutant rhetoric in order to prevent another holocaust)

2. magneto was kind of stupid (regularly played chess with a telepath)

[kidcataldo]

All the money you’re forced to pay in American healthcare, you would think they’d have more comfortable furniture

#healthcare #american healthcare #scam #fuck you america

[kidcataldo]

Okoye Chukwuemeka John

[kidcataldo]

[kidcataldo]

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so frustrated with nurses. my grandpa had surgery and is having a real difficult time in recovery. when we thought things were good he gets readmitted into the hospital with pneumonia, which he’s apparently had for a while but wasn’t getting treated for??? I think the nurses just wanted to get rid of him. they were telling us so many contradictions and just not doing the things they needed to be doing for him :/ and it’s just so fucking frustrating, i feel like none of this would have happened had they just been doing their job???

anyway

#just need to vent here #personal

[kidcataldo]

 Erin Fitzpatrick

[kidcataldo]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[kidcataldo]

Wasting 200 bells to send hate mail to the resident I absolutely despise. Send them an old tire every chance i get

#animal crossing

[kidcataldo]

Ferdinand Oger - Cat lying down basking (ca. 1900)

[kidcataldo]

[kidcataldo]

#at least id have beyonce #and post malone (i think?)