ladyphlogiston

[ladyphlogiston]

I’m having a spirited debate and need a larger sample size

#Did not expect that big of a delta #tumblr poll

[ladyphlogiston]

My friend just made me feel weird for asking so now i gotta know.

If you do have a favorite bird please please tell me in the tags, i want to see some Birds!!

#I like catbirds #They're pretty and they sing a lot and I like that they hide in bushes #tumblr poll

[ladyphlogiston]

i think what’s on a person’s nightstand is very telling so reblog this and put in the tags the things you have on your nightstand

#Skincare stuff #Stray earrings #Sewing stuff #Sometimes some drawing/painting stuff #Altoids #Usually a couple of Things That Are Circles #tumblr poll

[ladyphlogiston]

welcome to today’s episode of “is there actually a bug crawling on me or is it just sensory issues?” /lh

[ladyphlogiston]

Alright, I think I like tumblr now.

A pun post crossed my dash, and I reblogged it with an equally bad pun in return. A couple of my followers find it funny, it's a good day for everyone.

That was on July 7th.

Virality on Reddit was entirely algorithmic. You could garner a couple crossposts, but the success of a post was entirely dependent on whether or not it hit r/all--the main page of Reddit. If your post does that, it's immediately exposed to 10x the number of people and immediately gets upvoted.

On my pun post, I get a couple reblogs. And those reblogs get a couple reblogs--nobody really adds any content to the post, it just gets a couple reblogs here and there.

There's a specific chain of reblogs that I'd like to focus on. The most popular post on this chain has about 25 reblogs on it. Half the posts have three reblogs or fewer. Five posts in this chain have just one reblog total.

But the reblog chain keeps going. And going. It breaches containment many times over. And finally, after a chain THIRTY SIX posts long, at 9:30 AM, July 22nd this morning, it hits a popular account.

99% percent of the people who have seen the post--virtually unchanged from how it left my dash--have seen it because it was curated by 36 different people. That's insane to me.

None of those 36 people know that they're part of this chain. They saw a post, reblogged it, and moved on. If any one of these people had not reblogged, the post would have a fraction of the impact it has.

And yet, after two weeks, the post has effectively hit the main page of tumblr. It was picked up, only because people liked it enough to show it to their followers. There were no algorithms necessary.

You really, truly, cannot get this on any other website.

[ladyphlogiston]

babygirl I'm impaired in senses you've never heard of

[ladyphlogiston]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

#I just cry #Sometimes I'll leave #But it's gotten less embarrassing with time #And sometimes people need to know I'm upset #tumblr poll

[ladyphlogiston]

He never dies!!

Obi-Wan, at Maul's funeral: I need a moment with him. Everyone: Of course. *They leave* Obi Wan, leaning over Maul′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead. Maul, ignights his lightsaber: Yeah, no shit.

#incorrect star wars quotes

[ladyphlogiston]

I want it all

[ladyphlogiston]

Luke Skywalker: An enemy is just a friend I haven’t worn down. Mara Jade: Are you saying that you’re the main character of a kids cartoon? Luke Skywalker: I’m saying that “I’m going to be friends with you” is both a promise and a threat.

#incorrect star wars quotes

[ladyphlogiston]

[ladyphlogiston]

#cat life

[ladyphlogiston]

“Am I your lockscreen?” 

“You weren’t supposed to see that.”

and/or:

"I’m too sober for this.” 

“You don’t even drink.” 

“Maybe I should start.”

(from the sentence starter list!)

Thank you for these prompts! I'm excited to go through them :D

1.

Commander Trouble Kelp dropped his head to his desk. It had been one of those days.

When he was younger, those days mostly meant running around after a particularly crafty criminal, or at most getting hit hard enough to be sent to a warlock for recovery. Now, as Commander of LEP Recon, those days were filled with bureaucratic meetings, enough technobabble from an egocentric centaur to make your ears fall off, and yet another IA review.

He missed the days where he only worried about getting squashed by a Troll.

His personal communicator buzzed beside him. He tried to ignore it. Foaly had, for some reason, decided that it would be a good idea to release his personal number to a whole slew of reporters and paparazzi. Trouble was of half a mind to slash the tech-wizard's budget in half in retaliation.

Then his communicator buzzed again, and he made up his mind.

"What's taking so long?" a bright, cheery voice cut into his introspective complaints. He lifted his head to see Commodore Holly Short, her shock of auburn hair and wide smile poked in through his office door.

In spite of it all, Trouble felt a grin cross his face. Then he dropped back down. "I'm going to kill your friend," he grumbled. "I swear. This time I'm really going to do it."

As Holly laughed and sauntered over to his side, his communicator buzzed again. "What did he do this time?" she asked, casually running a hand through his short brown hair. His comm buzzed three more times in the time it took her to ask the question.

"I'm serious," Trouble said, lifting his head to look at her. "I'm going to-" his voice cut off when he realized that she wasn't looking at him anymore. Her fingers continued to trail idly through his hair, and the grin on her face had only widened, but now she was staring intently at his comm.

"Trouble," she said, picking the device up off the desk, "am I... am I your lockscreen?"

The young commander felt his cheeks turn red. "What?" he snapped immediately, his voice defensive. "No."

Holly turned on him a look that could freeze molten rock. "You may be able to lie to a lot of people, Trubs," she said tersely, "but I was never one of them." Then she turned his communicator so that he could see it. "So I'm going to ask you again, and I expect you to be honest this time. Am I your lockscreen?"

Trouble's cheeks heated further as he stared at the offending evidence - a beautiful picture he had snapped of her on one of their days off. She was wearing something casual and laughing, her head tossed back and her auburn hair had fallen back from her forehead. It was his favorite picture of her.

"You weren't supposed to see that," he finally answered.

Holly just laughed, the ice-cold expression on her face thawing and the smile sliding back into place on her lips. She bent down to kiss his forehead. "It's time for you to come home, Commander," she whispered with a twinkle in her eye. "I'll help you get back at Foaly for whatever he did in the morning."

She then grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his chair. For once, Trouble didn't mind being told what to do.

----

2.

Clone Commander Fox was many things. He was a fighter. He was a leader. According to Stone he was a control freak.

Right now, Commander Fox was bored.

"You look like you're ready to kill something," a light voice hummed in his ear.

Fox turned sharply to the side, still unaccustomed to the playful attitude of his companion. She smiled and a quiet giggle escaped her lips as her golden eyes burned into his own.

"I'm fine," Fox said, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "Just... enjoying the party, Ma'am."

The young senator laughed again, leaning close enough to brush deliberately against his arm. Fox felt his skin rise as she drew her lips close enough to his ear to let her warm breath wash over his skin as she said, "First, I already told you to just call me Riyo tonight." Though her tone was somewhat reproachful, her eyes still sparkled with laughter. "And second, you promised you would be honest."

Fox took a deep breath. His instinct was to brush her off and try some other polite excuse... exactly what he did every time one of the Senators decided to descend to the lowly clones' level and speak to him for a moment. But one more look into Senator Chuchi's - Riyo's - bewitching eyes and his usual MO was out the window.

"I think that I'm too sober to be here," he answered more sincerely than he had meant to.

Riyo let out a real laugh this time, and for just a moment Fox allowed himself the luxury of imagining spending his entire life doing whatever it took to hear that sound over and over again. "You don't even drink, Fox," she said, resting a hand on his bicep to help support her as she continued to chuckle.

He turned his attention to the crowd around in order to hide the blush on his cheeks. Immediately he caught the sight of several Senators cavorting about and drunkenly cackling. "If you're going to keep dragging me to these things, I think I should start," he commented dryly.

Realizing what he had accidentally said, Fox couldn't help but shoot her a guilty sideways glance.

She was smiling up at him. Her azure eyebrows delicately arched, her eyes wide with an almost childlike delight. The faintest ghost of a smile graced her lips as she stared up at him.

"So, you plan to let me drag you to more of these?" she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

Fox's cheeks burned. "I didn't say that."

"Yes you did," Riyo countered, her grin only widening. She glanced around quickly to ensure that no one was looking at them, then leaned up on her toes and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "And I'm going to make you live up to it," she whispered before dropping back to her feet.

Fox shook his head ruefully. He was in trouble with this one, he just knew it.

And the worst part? He was going to love every minute of it.

#Okay I need more Trouble/Holly stories #They're so cute!

[ladyphlogiston]

#Jedi #The Mandalorian philosophy is appealing but actually I think I'd be pretty bad at it #Also I want Force powers ngl #tumblr poll

[ladyphlogiston]

DM: You find yourselves at the edge of a large hole, with seemingly no bottom.

Monk: I jump into the hole.

Paladin: I also jump into the hole.

Rogue: I jump into the hole as well.

Wizard: Can I look around the hole for stairs, or a rope or something?

Rogue: I pull him down with me.

#incorrect quotes #d&d

[ladyphlogiston]

deleting files makes me so scared what if i Needed That

[ladyphlogiston]

a comprehensive list of everything Pliny the Elder had to say about periods

Pliny's first century encyclopaedia, Natural History, had an entire section on periods. and literally everything he had to say about menstruation was incorrect.

if you take off your clothes while menstruating , it can stop whirlwinds, lightning and storms at sea

but it will also kill young plants and vines such as ivy and rue

on the plus side, if you walk barefoot through a field while menstruating, it will cause all the bugs to fall off the crops

don't do this too early in the morning or it'll kill all the crops too

don't touch beehives when menstruating, or the bees will leave

avoid period sex with during an eclipse because that'll straight up kill the guy

"matters of a most dreadful and unutterable nature" (worse than the above)

laundry will turn black while you're boiling it

cooking or doing the dishes will make the pans greasy and smelly

touching a razor will blunt it

looking in the mirror will tarnish it

but dw if you stare at the back of the mirror for a bit it will go back to normal

being near a dog while menstruating will drive it mad

touching pregnant horses will cause them to immediately miscarry

if it's your first period, even *looking* at the horse will make it miscarry

on the plus side, this property of period blood means you can mix it into contraceptives to make them more powerful

anything purple that you touch will immediately become dull

literally

even the ash from burned fabric which touched menstrual blood will make your purples fade

in Judea, specifically Judea, menstrual blood can cut the flow of bitumen

even swords made of steel can't do that

relieves gout when spread on it

mix with rosewater and apply to the temples to soothe a headache

mix with wool of a black sheep to cure malaria

put on a cloth and wear in your clothes to cure rabies

yes that directly contradicts the mad dogs thing

he wasn't consistent at all

smear on someone after an epileptic seizure to revive them

touch facial sores or boils to cure them

neutralise spells by evil wizards

simply smear menstrual blood on the doorframe and the curse is gone

luckily all of this can be averted with one weird trick: carry a red mullet fish with you, always

you can read Pliny's menstruation chapter in its entirety here.

#Historical sources