letitrainathousandflames

[letitrainathousandflames]

First carriage ride of the year 🐶🌼

For anyone new, Holly Mop is a rescue dog who spent the first few years of her life in a cage. When we first got her she was terrified of being outside and would become ill with stress when we tried to take her on walks. We got her a stroller to see if that would help and it became her favorite thing. Three years later she’s able to walk on leash in quiet spaces, but still loves the elevated view from her carriage.

The flowers are left over from renfaire last year:

#holy mop #i love her

[letitrainathousandflames]

What weird way to learn that my JarJar is hung like a whale ask post has reached even poor @derinthescarletpescatarian.

Well, given the fact that it's even been reblogged by @world-heritage-posts I think it's time to bring a tumblr personality I really admire into this dark pit of utter nonsense:

@thebibliosphere, this might horrify you, but at least it's less traumatizing than your dreaded "crucifix nail nipples" post. I think.

I am so sorry, everyone. But not sorry enough to not reblog this again lmao

I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.

I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!

You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.

How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”

I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.

Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-

Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.

#this post is so terrible i had to change blogs bc it kept clogging my notes #lemon/ #long post/ #jar jar is hung like a whale.txt

[letitrainathousandflames]

Because I circulated a call to action about it here that got some traction: to those of you who contacted Maine legislators when it counted, thank you— it worked. Maine just passed sanctuary-state-level protection for trans rights.

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they should invent thigh-highs for women who are larger than a loaf of bread

[letitrainathousandflames]

I'll show YOU a "SPRING FORWARD"

#woe siamese be upon ye

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New pickup line just dropped: will you be the shark to my ramora?

I would thrive in a mutualism or commensalism symbiotic relationship

#holly i love your brain

[letitrainathousandflames]

listen, if you want to be with someone that has ADHD and doesn’t / can’t take medicine for it, you have to understand that we just forget. Yes, we know you had us write it down and put it somewhere obvious, we still forgot. Yes, you just said it 10 times, we still forgot. Yes, you literally, to our face, seconds before, told us in detail, we turned around and forgot immediately. we forget, everything, immediately, most of the time.

#if it makes it any easier: i promise no one is as mad and disappointed in us than we already are every time it happens

[letitrainathousandflames]

#motherfucker i sure am wearing just a light jacket indeed

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“I should have been training the boy. But his uncle never allowed it. And I suppose there was a part of me that couldn’t blame him. The last Skywalker I tried to train was gone. They were all gone. All the Jedi. And sometimes I wondered… If I should have gone with them.”

— Obi-Wan Kenobi | Star Wars Comics (2015) #7

#infinite sadness #obi wan kenobi

[letitrainathousandflames]

#i guess it /was/ just the whiskey he was tryina savor

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yeah, you like daddy's spotify links? click play... good boy. now the like button. you're being so good for daddy... and a comment. 'sir, your spotify links change my life every day.' that's it, faggot... on your knees for my links. open up. you look so pretty taking my third link of the day...

#nearly tripped on my feet on the street bc of how slick i got between my legs #my praise kink is a hazard

[letitrainathousandflames]

Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1

The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.

So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.

So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.

Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.

And the probe is working again.

From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.

[letitrainathousandflames]

Mods are asleep post trans ally eminem

#amazing

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Happy AU where they find out about the brain chips and Kix, after removng Rex's, brings him out of surgery in a wheelchair...

Rex: Fives! The doctors made me into a superhero! I am so strong! *looks at his own hands and gasps in shock* And they made me brown!

Kix: He's on a lot of medication. Keep an eye on him for me.

Rex: psst... psst... Fives *whispers* Sometimes I can't tell my vode apart when we go out for drinks... so I call them all "brother."

Fives and Rex: *cackling*

Fives: Wow. So he has no filter whatsoever?

Kix: None at all.

Fives: *pushing Rex's wheelchair* I'm gonna take ya back to the barracks now, cap. Hey, what do you think of commander Cody?

Rex: *shrugs* aw, he needs to smoke some spice and chill the kriff out.

Fives: *giddy with laughter* Yesss! *wheeling Rex away* Thank you so much Kix, this is the best thing that's ever happened.

#original: brooklyn nine nine

[letitrainathousandflames]

#unreality

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"no spam liking" stfu that's how i know my mutuals are alive smh