lifebeyondthesky

[lifebeyondthesky]

Once upon a time, I believed that the world could get better. I believed that every single person was good by nature and did bad things out of necessity. I wanted nothing more than to help everyone, no matter what. And somewhere along the line I changed, and I didn't even notice.

Somewhere along the line, I started judging everyone based on nothing at all.

Somewhere along the line, I decided that the world was irrevocably broken.

Somewhere along the line, I stopped wanting to help everyone.

Perhaps part of this was part of growing up, part of seeing the horrific things that humanity is capable of. And I tried so hard to be grown up that I forgot being a kid is more than playing games.

Being a kid is being able to see the blinding light of the world.

When I was 8 years old I told my mother that I was scared of growing up, because I didn't want to lose my imagination. She told me not to worry, because everyone changes when they grow up.

Well I lost my imagination, and with it I lost my endless hope, my ability to embrace the absurd and the extreme and to do stupid shit because I wanted to.

I don't want to be the person that I am now. Naively, I want to go back to that bubbly and hopeful being I once was.

So gods damn it, I'm going to try. I'm going to be kind. I'm going to walk into every room with no expectations and I'm going to deconstruct my judgements as best I can until every person I don't know is a blank slate of endless opportunity. I don't care if I never get anything out of this endeavor, if there's no reward. I don't care if no one notices, if after my death I am just a number in the history books.

12-year-old me swore that the only thing she wanted from life was to help everyone she possibly could. I may be an entirely different person now, but I want to keep that promise.

[lifebeyondthesky]

#songs for sunny #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

Can I still leave you a song, if I'd like?

Can I cling to the vestiges of a broken friendship, and lie to my heart?

Don't be guilty. And don't be sorry for me, I'm not sorry for myself.

I have loved being your friend. I will always love to be your friend. And if you decide that this is the end, that's ok. (Maybe it ended a long time ago, and I never realized)

You don't have to answer this. You have no obligation to me /pos. But for my sake, I need to say this to say goodbye.

Even a door locked away and forgotten down a dusty corridor can be reopened. But I have no right to do that, so I leave the key in your palm to do with it what you will.

You are loved. You will always be loved.

Goodbye, sunshine.

[lifebeyondthesky]

Pretty good walls and bones / To the heart I'm in / Windows and doors where / The light gets in / If I get bombed out I can build it / Back up again 'cause I've been / Loved well / I had a mother and father who held hands / Lovers who loved me and real friends / Had a ride home, a shoulder / A second chance, I was / Loved well / But hey despite all of this / How I have my brokenness / It's as certain as the moon

...

You can build a new heart / And a new house / And the best part is when you come out / So much will be waiting for you / You can build a new heart / And a new house / Gonna take some time / But when you come out / So much of everything will be / Waiting for you

#songs for sunny #<3 #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

So break my step / And relent / Well you forgave and I won't forget / Know what we've seen / And him with less / Now in some way / Shake the excess / 'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you

...

Now I'll be bold / As well as strong / And use my head alongside my heart /.../ A tethered mind, freed from lies

#songs for sunny #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

When I'm on a boat / I float, I know I can never drown / I see underwater land / The wind, the wind is the only sound / Take your hand and I go under / I'm under and above / On the river / I'm floating in / On the water / I'm diving into the ocean / A thousand black water lilies

#songs for sunny #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

<3

#songs for sunny #Spotify #no lyrics in this one!! #just so much serotonin hehe

[lifebeyondthesky]

But tell me now, where was my fault? / In loving you with my whole heart? / Oh, tell me now, where was my fault? / In loving you with my whole heart?

A white blank page and a swelling rage

#songs for sunny #IM BACK!! #sorry for disappearing ;-; #anyway heres funky anger banjo :D #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

I am ready / Can I beat within your heart? / Can I bleed within your love? / Oh my friends / And I can't forget it / All of the love / All of the love / As we stood tall together

All of our love

#songs for sunny #<3 #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

I have made mistakes, I continue to make them / And the promises I've made, I continue to break them / And all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them / But nothing is a waste if you learn from it / And the sun, it does not cause us to grow / It is the rain that will strengthen your soul

#songs for sunny #i think i missed yesterday so there'll be another one later!! #<3 #if you cant tell im in my Oh Hellos phase hehe #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

I'm through accepting limits / 'Cause someone says they're so / Some things I cannot change / But 'til I try, I'll never know / Too long I've been afraid of / Losing love I guess I've lost / Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost / I'd sooner buy defying gravity / Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity / And you can't pull me down

#songs for sunny #<3 #been stuck in my head all day #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

'Cause you've been too busy thinking ahead / Of where we're all going after we're dead / To maybe consider our bodies are worth / More than the dust that we can return / To the ground again

...

Well even the great celestial hieroglyphs / Are bodies of dust illuminated, and if / The heavens can be both sacred and dust / Oh, maybe so can the rest of us

#songs for sunny #<3 #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

Oh no, it's raining again / Oh will my heart ever mend / You're old enough some people say / To read the signs and walk away / It's only time that heals the pain / And makes the sun come out again

#songs for sunny #queued for sunny #good morning!! #sad song but /pos vibes #<3 #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

You have a face not spoiled by beauty / I have some scars from where I've been / You've got eyes that can see right through me / You're not afraid of anything they've seen /.../ I don't know how these cuts heal / But [somehow] I've found a rhyme / If there is a light you can't always see / And there is a world we can't always be / If there is a dark that we shouldn't doubt / And there is a light, don't let it go out

And this is a song / Song for someone

#songs for sunny #of course you get a song <3 #maybe already did this one #but its been in my head so here it is again!! #Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

I promise I wasn't tryna hurt anyone / I just want for you to be proud of me /.../ But why am I the one who felt so exiled? /.../ I swear I didn't mean to hurt anyone / I just wanted to prove to you that I can (feel)

...

I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone / I just want you to know that I (still) truly care

#Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

Don't walk away / Don't walk away / Don't walk away! / 'Cause if you stay, I would even wait all night / Or until my heart explodes

-

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

(My heart's exploded)

#Spotify

[lifebeyondthesky]

I’m gonna pack my things and leave you behind / This feeling’s old and I know that I’ve made up my mind / I hope you feel what I felt / When you shattered my soul / ‘Cause you were cruel / And I’m a fool / So, please let me go

...

But I [still] love you, so

#Spotify