lostandfem

[lostandfem]

hhhh i feel like we agree on so much i just. im “TIF” ig, more specifically FTMTFTMTFT?? and w confirmed prenatal androgenization + dissociative disorder linked to onset of puberty. i have literally tried everything i even did IV ketamine treatments, electroshock therapy. testosterone is the only thing that made me feel like i wasn’t. playing the sims. trying to live from the inside out. idk how to even explain it. if u have dysphoria ykwim probably. the only other times ive ever felt ok were when i was starving myself to the point of producing little to no sex hormones. i feel like a lot of ppl— especially with endocrine-disrupting chemicals becoming more of an issue— are struggling with degrees of genuine sex based dysphoria from prenatal EDC exposure. ik that sounds conspiracy-y but the WHO even released a study recently linking them to GD and intersex conditions. anyway i havent even socially transitioned this time because ive realized idc about what i’m seen as or called i simply just. know in my head what my body should look like. i was also intersex and forced on fem hormones at puberty so maybe its related to that but. i wish radfem spaces were less hateful towards transmasc female ppl. the rhetoric abt our bodies (and in turn abt unmodified intersex bodies bc i wouldn’t have been feminized originally without hormones) is really gross and just shows a deep seated hatred of sex non conforming females and as much as i recognize and hate the biosexism of amab trans ppl and the overall trans community. i just cant feel safe as an intersex snc female so its just like. No Community For Me, i’m too trans for the terfs and too terfy for the transes. sorry i didn’t mean to rant its just. the climate is so divisive rn n im struggling with being radfem but also like. clearly having biosex dysphoria that i have tried literally everything to eradicate. you dont have to publish this i simply needed to tell someone who would maybe get it and you seem to

i did these asks out of order and idk if youre the same person as the other ones rip. but yeah i hate teh “detrans people are mutilated” stuff too. ideologically i know radfems are supposed to support all females regardless of the state of their bodies, but i think youre right that a lot of them take the altered thing to mean youre an impure female. im really sorry you were forced on hormones, i really am. its hard to make peace with knowing that your body was altered when you wish it wasnt. intersex people deserve at least a choice in the matter, not that stuff being forced on them. they deserve to feel the sex dysphoria/dysmorphia without it being an inherently gendered experience too.

being in-between ideologically is rough. but sometimes its kinda necessary. belonging to yourself is important, so if you dont feel like you can belong to any one group, at least stand by your beliefs 💜

#asks

[lostandfem]

oh wait nvm saw the frankenstein post. i take it back you can delete those lol i guess i will stick to convincing the tras to drop the sexism 😭🤡 it’s better than being around ppl who think my body is disgusting or sick lol

huh? i cant specifically remember the post but i think youre talking about either how ive described myself (im detrans too yknow), or how i saw another detrans woman on reddit describe herself. i get upset with the radfems who keep calling me mutilated too. but aight

#asks #saw the last one before i saw this one

[lostandfem]

basically when are radfems going to accept sex non conforming females and not treat us like we’re ugly or bad or wrong or like… damaged. i feel like i have to stick with the trans community despite the biosexism and bullshit (trans women don’t get periods male socialization is real there i said it 😤) bc the alternative is a group that would not see me exercise my bodily autonomy/ would prefer me to be constantly disassociating and then psychotically delusional two weeks a month for the rest of my life just because that’s my “natural fate”. there’s no freedom for me in a group that wants to restrict how females can like… *be*, yknow? not that they’re all like that bc i saw ur risk reduction top surgery post and was like “ah a radfem Understands” again sorry for dumping im just 😭🤡 in a weird ass place rn each of my detrans-retrans experiences has involved me trying to convince myself to align neatly with radfems or with TRAs but man i simply don’t. i’m a female with sex dysphoria that i believe I deserve to find freedom from especially after having tried literally every antidepressant, mood stabilizers, and even lithium 😭 the tras want me to absolve myself of my femaleness and like… “shut up and let trans women speak” but like BRO THEYRE MALE WOMEN THATS WHY THEY ARE ALLOWED OR EVEN ENCOURAGED TO SPEAK AT ALL!! so im just suffering. suffering suffering

no its fine i dont mind if you dump. partially why i leave anons on lol. i was sick of the whole “being male/female isnt real, only gender is real” stuff too. what im getting is that you dont agree with how the trans community is running, but you dont think theres another option for you other than transitioning. and honestly, if it really is the only option, do it. i personally dont agree that transition should be the only cure for sex dysphoria. the health risks from transitioning need to be taken into consideration when considering it as a treatment, and personally i think that because of that one day it shouldnt be an option at all because well have much better treatments. im lucky enough to have gotten some success from therapy, but i know that not everyone will be able to have the same thing. i dont know everything about dysphoria either so all the advice i give about that stuff is from personal experience. but at the end of the day if it really is the only option for you with everything we do know about dysphoria, then do it. i just want people making informed, smart decisions. i also want for one day an effective treatment without that many risks, and for gender identity to stop being a thing in relation to these treatments (just sex dysphoria)

#asks

[lostandfem]

i was gonna take a break from tumblr for a bit, but i had to post this for a second. and they wonder why detrans people dont want to stick around and support the trans community. pornsick my god

#taking my break now #enjoying my life while theyre rotting in whatever disease that mindset is #receipts to peak to

[lostandfem]

Hey PLEASE be wary of Dr. Gallagher and spread the word. Rylan (testosteronejew on Twitter) got top surgery from her in August. Here's the thread he wrote about his horrific experience.

He had severe complications that were completely dismissed by Dr. Gallagher. She kept telling him everything was fine, that it was because of his weight, and made a joke about him "menstruating" as he was bleeding from a torn incision. When he was rushed to the ER weeks later, he had over half a foot of dead tissue removed. He could have died from the infection (that she blatantly denied he had).

And in Rylan's own words, "My only desire is to keep our community safe. There are so many trustworthy top surgeons in the world. One of them saved my life. Transition is a beautiful process and we deserve safe access to it. I do not regret top surgery. I regret choosing Dr. Gallagher as my surgeon."

[lostandfem]

my 13 year old self buying a waist trainer & my 15 year old self using it as a binder is like the perfect metaphor for female adolescence in the 21st century i think

[lostandfem]

“Girls are still being socialized not to identify with—feel empathy for—other females; she got hurt because she did x, y, z—I didn’t, so I didn’t get hurt; she’s at fault, I’m not; the punishment fits her crime; blame her, exonerate him. This continuing, culturally applauded socialization of women not to empathize with other women is a malignant part of the culture of men”

— Andrea Dworkin, “Suffering and Speech” (via vladtheunfollower)

[lostandfem]

#the need to make yourself into a mini brand ruined so much

[lostandfem]

I am so tired of TRAs conflating disagreements against their ideology with homophobic bigotry. 

Homophobes are not arguing that homosexuality is not a real phenomenon or trying to disprove its reality; We know homosexuality is real because people desire to and do physically engage in homosexual acts. Instead, however,  homophobes argue that homosexuality is immoral, that it is sinful/harmful and should not be tolerated by society. 

Disagreements with trans ideology however are not this way. The main opposition to it is that it is not even a thing that exists objectively. Yes, there are people that argue that it is immoral and should not be tolerated, but this motivated by the belief that it is not real, which is the true crux of the disagreement. When TRAs are advocating for their goals by telling us that “trans women are women,” or that “trans men are men,” they are not making a moral claim, they are making a metaphysical one. They are trying to prove the existence of something, not trying to make it be seen as moral. In contrast, gay rights activists never had to prove that homosexuality was real, everyone knew it was real. They advocated for it to be accepted & tolerated by society.

These are different types of disagreements and therefore should not be conflated. 

#save

[lostandfem]

The rights to female-only prisons and “conveniences” (think locker and bathrooms) are literally in the Geneva Convention.

Single-sex spaces are outlined as a necessity in the Geneva Convention. It also throws out gender norms in favor of sex equality. All this while recognizing the physical and socialization differences between men and women. Therefore, it details how all prisons and sex-based spaces must remain single-sex, including not only the prisoners but also the guards.

[lostandfem]

I feel like you either die a nicefem or get peaked enough until you become a meanfem.

#think im a nicefem for life at this point #ive learnt to be angry and not be a pushover #but im still just bein nice

[lostandfem]

so i'm a trans teenage boy. not sure if i still want to identify as that when i'm questioning trans ideology recently. i think I can take my time in how I want to perceive trans ideology. please hear me out. the trans community rejected my concerns and the libfem community i'm usually in also rejected my concerns. so, one of the trans ideology is trans men are men and trans women are women, right? i believed that at first. i also love making friends with many trans boys, enbies and trans girls my age in the trans community. in the trans community, they encourage people to go to toilets of their preferred gender. i know many adult trans men go to the men's bathroom for the gender euphoria so my peers who are trans guys also do the same. my friends who are trans girls talked about feeling gender euphoria for going to the girl's toilet. trans people do go to unisex toilets but they prefer going to toilets that affirm to their gender identities. so i also go to the men's bathroom cause i identified as a boy, in school and in public. however, not long ago, in school, a male teacher sexually assaulted me in the men's toilet and got me pregnant. jsyk i'm not at the age yet to medically transition ftm. thankfully i got an abortion but that experience is traumatic for me. i couldn't believe i'm one of those pregnant teenagers. that's when i start to question trans ideology. i warned my afab peers against using the men's toilet for their safety and told my amab peers against using the women's toilet but they all disregard my concerns to protect afab people who haven't gone through ftm medical transition. they call me a transphobe. i told them about my rape story but they say that i'm victim blaming and guilt tripping them. i felt invalidated. i talked about this issue with the libfem community i usually interact in but they say i should let people do whatever they want as long as it's not harming me. but it's not about me, i care about minimizing people from not getting harassed and potentially getting pregnant and lose money to get abortions. i care about people not getting sexually assaulted. i think that people should go to public toilets based on their sex for safety, which is rejected by the trans and libfem community. do you think my idea is right? i like how radfems care about female oppressions which aligns with my beliefs but I'm not sure if i want to be a radfem since i'm still learning about other different types of feminism like intersectional feminism, socialism feminism and the list goes on

oh my god im so sorry, anon. i really hope youre doing okay. please seek professional help if you need it. i know shame can be a huge factor in not seeking help, so please know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. the only person feeling shame should be that vile man.

second, dont rush too fast into choosing a type of feminism. learn as much as you can about feminism in general, and then you can narrow it down if you want. get a wide array of knowledge like youre doing. the point is to be able to find communities that align to your beliefs, not align yourself to a community’s beliefs. (but a lot of radfems are socialist or marxist, and were all intersectional. different feminist schools of thought overlap and individuals usually subscribe to a few of them)

and yeah i agree with sex segregated bathrooms. we often talk about the potential dangers of having males in the womens room, but rarely about the dangers of having females in the mens room. i dont think its worth sacrificing safety for the sake of validation. when it comes to trans activism, validation is one of the most important things you go provide for a trans person, but i really cant understand how it’s more dire than physical safety. someone feeling positively cannot be more important than the literal lives of females.

it’s pretty narcissistic of your friends to hear about your trauma and somehow make it about them and their feelings, too. im sure youve put a lot of effort into accommodating their feelings, but they didnt even make an effort to understand yours. like you were the victim of rape and somehow talking about it is victim-blaming them? what are they a victim of? it implies you telling your story is an attack on them, and thats a huge red flag imo. especially because you didn’t even invalidate their gender, you just said it might be a better safety measure for bathroom policies to be different. why is their euphoria more important than safety? and heres the thing about “as long as its not harming you”— it has. like for example, even if youve been to the mens bathroom many times and it hasnt harmed you, all it took was that one time. same goes for trans women in the womens bathroom. an individual trans woman might not hurt me, but it does open the door to a male (trans woman or cis man) who might. individual actions dont exist in a vacuum. heck, even if im not hurt by any individuals going to the bathroom based on gender and not sex, i know that the action of letting it happen on an individual level sets a precedent for what should be allowed, and someone somewhere else might get hurt from it. why should we only be concerned about things harm only us directly?

youre not alone in being trans and being uncomfortable in the mens bathroom btw. i know of another detrans blogger who made a post about being scared a male might look through the bathroom stall and find out she was actually female and do something to her (cant remember who tho). and myself, even on testosterone, chose to go to the womens room because it felt safer. my one time in the mens room was terrifying. there were so many dicks just Out, it felt like a threat.

regardless of identity there are realities to biological sex that need to be addressed. it cannot be sacrificed to the idea of identity, and i dont see why it has to. why cant they coexist? why is there such heavy emphasis on choosing one over the other? are they incompatible entirely or is there a narrative being pushed for some reason?

i really hope youre doing okay, anon. wishing you the best 💜

#asks #im sorry this was super long #tw rape #rape

[lostandfem]

learning about my breasts as baby feeders and male attractors made them appear to be my enemies. learning about my uterus as an organ dedicated to creating and growing a fetus made it appear to be my enemy. i had parts of my body that opposed my own will–where i didn’t want children, my breasts and uterus did. where i was a lesbian, my breasts grew against my will to attract men, and my uterus wanted fertilization. of course i hated them! of course i wanted to cut off and destroy the parts of my body that opposed the innate nature of my brain!

how evil, that little girls are taught that their bodies “want” anything but their own survival and happiness. my breasts store fat that will help me survive disease and famine. my uterus regulates my hormones, keeping me healthy. i could use them to grow and nurture a child if i wanted to do so–but they aren’t trying to push me to do anything. they’re just helping me stay alive! my brain, my uterus, my breasts, and every other part of my body are a team, all working for me, according to my wishes and goals. no part of myself is my enemy.

#q

[lostandfem]

if you go around trying to inflict gender dysphoria on women just because they're gay or seem too masc to fit in the miniscule cubby you've allocated for womanhood in your mind, what can i even say to you? what could deter or persuade such a callous person? that you see someone who says they're happy with themselves just as they are, and you want to ruin it. you want everyone to be as miserable as you. it's repugnant. i know this: there's no peace for anyone that demented. hope you figure your shit out someday.

#q

[lostandfem]

@shira-waves you don't get to hide your misogyny by turning reblogs off. you are a misogynist. go fuck yourself, genuinely

#can the vagina not be a neutral thing? #it doesnt even have to be fucked #fucked or not its still a vagina #parts of my body exist to keep the whole body functioning and alive #thats all #q

[lostandfem]

the day goes by like

8am-10am

11am-5pm

6pm it should be time for bed any minute now *sits around*

#lost.txt

[lostandfem]

Just a health and safety Psa (because I didn’t know this and I want to share):

If you’re on the pill and you have migraines go to doctor/stop immediately if you can. Most versions of the birth control pill when added to migraines can cause heart attacks.

I found this out from a rather frantic doctor who was worried for me!

Holy shit oh my god

#😨