luvrgirlchronicles

[luvrgirlchronicles]

Went thru his phone and he was left on delivered by the same girl on two separate platforms 💀

[luvrgirlchronicles]

Ughhhhh

I’m being toxic and I don’t like it :(

Thinking about my ex and constantly forgetting whyyyyy I left him. He doesn’t love you anymore, and you don’t love him anymore - not in the romantic way at least. It does bother me his new gf is basically a replica of me.. she can’t be “better” than you and you are not better than her.

Current bf going through it with his mom. Chronic illness and domestic abuse.. CPS, insurance, and moving from one hood to another. Jobs, money and drugs. Trying to help without getting myself in too deep.

My mom told me that when you’re dating someone you’re also with their family and their traumas. I’m trying I really am, but sometimes I wonder if I’m getting enough out of it compared to what I’m putting in. I love him, yes but he’s wronged me before - minorly. I don’t think he has intentions to in the future but my guard is up.

To be completely frank, my issues at the moment are not at all with my current boyfriend. I think we’re getting to a point in our relationship where we understand one another and are learning how to communicate with each other. His mother however, she keeps showing up unannounced and bringing her problems with her. She’s asking me for money and she’s had her daughter staying with us for 3 weeks now. I don’t mind having the daughter with us at all. I’m just worried that whatever “plan” his mother has isn’t going to pan out. I hope it does because I don’t have the space or patience for her to stay with us. She’s supposed to be moving for the past 2 weeks but she still doesn’t have the keys for her new apartment but it hasn’t happened yet. And every time my boyfriend asks her for clarification in the whole situation she loses it on him and he loses it too. They both have very short tempers but it’s even worse that she has dementia. Also, she’s lied to the police before and got him arrested for domestic abuse, today she threatened to do it again. It’s a catch 22 because if he does nothing shit could go south but if he decides to contact authorities about her erratic behavior she could lose custody of the daughter. Is it even safe for the daughter to stay with her? Am I ready for him to take custody of her? Shits stressful and I have no say because this isn’t my family but their choices affect me greatly.

[luvrgirlchronicles]

Soo tired of walking on eggshells..

Literally you can’t say anything to this dude without him getting mad and offended

[luvrgirlchronicles]

Confrontation

Last night I was out with my friend and my boyfriend was out with his friends. When I looked at his location, it showed that he was at an apartment building I’ve never seen him at before. He had told me he was going to hang out with a friend but that address was not his friends house. So I FaceTimed him, when he answered he said he was with the same friend but at another friends house. I was a little suspicious so I asked to see the friend that I know. He got defensive talking about “oh you don’t trust me?” And he hung up after a few exchanges. I was a little drunk so I don’t remember exactly how the conversations occurred. I explained to him that it was suspicious to see him at an address I’ve never seen him at before but he was still offended. He ended up texting me to have fun on my night out so that’s exactly what I did. I decided I wasn’t going to spend my night out stressing over and fighting with my boyfriend on the phone so I drank and danced the night away. After a while he told me he was going to sleep at his moms house.

He had tweeted something about “every time I have a good day something has to ruin it… leave me alone!!!” So I left him alone. I didn’t call or text him. But I did retweet his tweet.

The next time I heard from him was today while I was working and he spoke to me as if nothing were wrong asking me about something in the house, we agreed on the call that we’d have a talk when I got home from work.

When I came home he told me that he wants me to stop making jokes about him cheating on me, and I honestly think that’s a great idea. I told him I wanted to ask him a few questions and that I needed him to be 100% honest. I asked him if he had had the minor added on Snapchat, he answered honestly and said yes. My next question was if he had messaged her, he said no, so I replied with “that’s a lie.” His response to this was that he was thinking with his dick…

A few days ago he had made a joke about “can you wait until I’m sleeping to go through my phone?” So I told him about some of the stuff that I saw on his phone. Like when he texted said minor, when he screenshotted pictures from another girls highlight stories from Instagram, and when he had told the girl that I asked him to block that her butt was looking good “as a friend.” I also explained to him that I knew that going through his phone was wrong but that I kept doing it because every time I did, I found something that made me upset. And it all fed into a vicious cycle, I’d start to trust him and I’d check his phone just to make sure and then I wouldn’t trust him at all over again. I told him that I don’t want to feel like I need to go through his phone and that I need him to promise that he won’t do that stuff anymore.

Naturally, he felt some type of way about it. I told him that I know I broke his trust by going through his phone, so at this point we’ve both broken the trust but that I’m willing to make it work if we can both promise to be honest. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I found out all this stuff by going through his phone that got him feeling some type of way. I think it might be that he feels guilty that he’s been caught red-handed and that I’m being graceful enough to give him another chance. He’s felt (in the past) that he’s a bad person or that he doesn’t deserve me. I think that those feelings were him feeling guilty because he knew that he was trying to cheat on me, or at least let a load off by chatting with or virtually stalking another girl. He said he never made an honest effort to cheat on me and he never had the intention to, but I don’t know if to believe it.

He went on a walk and he’s been gone for about an hour now.

#confession #relationship

[luvrgirlchronicles]

I wish I weren’t so transparent..

As soon as I’m a little upset *everyone* knows, especially when I’m trying to act normal.

As soon as I start to trust him, something in my gut tells me to double check. And when I do I always find something that I don’t like. Remember the high schooler from my last post? Well he’s had her added on Snapchat (at least since last time, he had messaged her “Hey” that time) and I un-added her at some point. The other day I decide to go through his phone again and saw that he had messaged her recently but deleted it from the main chat feed. When I went to her profile on Snapchat I saw that he had added her back on April 23rd. What I did next was somewhat reckless but I was acting out of emotion. I sent her my account from his phone and deleted it, then I added her on my phone and messaged her asking about him texting her. She accepted my friend request but never opened my messages so I ended up deleting my messages to her the next day. I also un-added and blocked 2 accounts with her name from his phone. Since then he’s been sleeping with his phone in his hand or on his chest so I haven’t been able to look through it again..

He probably knows that I know. We were play fighting and the concept of trust came up and I had said that I don’t fully trust him. He took this offensively because to him that means that I don’t trust him at all.. and I guess maybe I don’t, but how could I when I keep finding this shit? And how am I expected to stop going through his phone and just blindly trust him when I’m wondering what might be happening right under my nose?

I know any sane person would tell me to break up with him. From the outside I’d be screaming to fucking leave him but it’s harder said than done.

#confession #why am i like this #trust issues

[luvrgirlchronicles]

Feeling betrayed.

A few days ago I went through my boyfriends phone. Before y’all say anything, I know that going through his phone is wrong and that I’ll only hurt myself doing so but I had a feeling and I wasn’t wrong. I saw that he had liked every picture on a girls profile and then he liked a recent picture from a girl that I had asked him to block. When I confronted him about it I didn’t tell him I went through his phone. I simply said that I had seen he liked the girls picture and consequently went to her profile to find he’d liked all her pictures and that this prompted me to visit the other girls profile to see he’d liked her most recent picture. The girl who’s whole profile is liked is still in highschool (ew). His response was “well you know I masturbate” and at the moment I didn’t care; I said “you can masturbate to whatever you want but I shouldn’t be finding out about it at least”. But now I feel differently. Masturbating to porn is one thing, it’s meant to happen. But masturbating to someone’s Instagram pictures is something else, especially when she’s a local and in high school.

I FaceTimed him from work after this thought came to me and he noticed I was somewhat off. At first I told him it was nothing but he kept pushing so I started telling him how I feel and he hung up. So I texted him calling him out on that and he said he didn’t want to have this conversation. I expressed that it’s wrong for him to press me to share my emotions and once I do for him to decide he doesn’t want to hear it and he just said “sorry nvm I don’t want to know anymore.” I feel like that’s so fucked up and that he doesn’t really care how I feel or how his actions affect me. I don’t like arguing with people that I love but I honestly think he’s so wrong for that and he doesn’t wanna hear it because he knows he was wrong for all of it.

I don’t know what to do. We live together and I don’t want to go home to him tonight. I’m going to have dinner at my parents house and I’m staying there as late as possible so that I don’t have to be disappointed by him when I get home.

[luvrgirlchronicles]

Mixed emotions about today..

Im a piercer and I work at a shop with a few others. I did my first Christina piercing today which is a huge step for me as a growing piercer. I feel super grateful and supported by my team in this, they helped calm my nerves about doing this for the first time and gave me tips on how to execute it.

On the other hand, I was supposed to do a piercing in a customer but I had to wait until their S/O finished getting their piercing done with another piercer. While getting pierced, this person started passing out and throwing up so they were going to take a while to recover. I had other appointments waiting on me so I figured I would get the next appointment out of the way and pierce my customer once their S/O felt better. When I came back for this customer the front of house staff told me that another piercer had taken care of it since we had a full house.. I felt that this was a bit unfair because I had been the one to bring the bucket for the customer to throw up in, water, and I held their hand while they got pierced; not only did I lose time, I also lost money (I don’t get paid if I don’t pierce).

Later in the day, one of our FOH staff wanted to get a nose piercing as to have one on each side of her nose. In the studio, I’m known for having a good eye for symmetry and making these symmetrical piercings as perfect as they can be in an imperfect human body. Despite this, she decided to get her piercing done the head piercer (my mentor) — which was fine by me since I was quite tired today. But they kept calling me over to ask if the new piercing was symmetrical with the one she already had. I gave my opinion but the head piercer didn’t necessarily agree with me. This peeved me because it’s annoying to be asked my opinion and then be disregarded. Also, he had done the same thing for me last year and the piercings are not even; now that they’re fully healed there’s nothing I can do about it. Her peircings ended up being crooked. This sent me down a rabbit hole trying to see if I could mark my own nose piercings perfectly (I can’t because the perfect mark would be right on the edge of my already healed piercing).

I can only hope tomorrow will be better.