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queen of the world to me

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😳

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a day on gotham twitter

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lord the peasants are so loud today

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I hate working with marketing. They have waaayyy too many meetings, never know what they want, when they do have an idea of what they want its so vague and unformed that nothing is actionable and expect us to make business decisions for them. Thats your job fuckers! Just tell me what values you want in the picklist field and leave me in peace.

#marketing is the bane of my existence #work

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The way the 40k setting glues skulls and purity seals to everything constantly reminds me of Decora Kei fashion, so fuck it, Decora Kei Space Marine. You're welcome.

#at first glance I thought this was a digimon

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3d printed start gate

#oh nostalgia #I just went back to middle school and stargate reruns right when I got home

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I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.

Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.

Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.

Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.

Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.

Confused Bruce: You wasn't?

Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...

More Confused Bruce: You don't?!

Or 

Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?

Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?

Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.

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Officer Grayson: *arrests Jason for whatever, probably annoying him on the job.* *He leads him away in handcuffs*

Jason: wait. Is that Tim?

Dick: omg it's Timmy!

Tim, on a date with Bernard:

Bernard: ... Why are that cop and the guy he arrested banging on the window and waving at us?

Tim: *dead inside*

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Psst! Maybe doodle a Bruce and young Dick spotted by paparazzi!

Heartwarming! Bruce Wayne spotted walking with young ward Dick Grayson!

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I made the first page so long ago but hey, I finished.

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Hi Teecup, hope everything's going good! Here's yet another Desmond becomes an animal AU, but with a twist! :D

So Desmond gets reborn as a horse. I also imagine it somewhat modern setting, with Ezio being 17 and Altaïr being 16.

Desmond feels the unmistakable sensation at being born and to his suprise he is not a human, but a foal. Born at Auditore Farm. Where Ezio is the new manager after his father retired and Federico was in a bad accident that leaves him unable to ride the horses anymore. And first thing that happens after he takes the position is that the prized mare of Masyaf Ranch breaks into a stallions pen and gets pregnant. After the two ranches struck a deal about the mare that might finally save the struggling Auditore farm from being sold. The mare that was Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad personal, very dear, horse. So, Ezio is not having a good time and Desmond feels bad and blames himself for it. Because he couldn't even die properly, so why should his re-birth be anything other than a huge fiasco and mistake.

Until Ezio takes a look at the foal the next morning and sees the newborn foal just sitting in the corner, not caring about his mothers attempts to get him stand up. It wasn't the foals fault it was born and their farm had always prided themselves in the care and love their horses recieved. So when the foal refuses to nurse, Ezio takes it upon himself to hand raise it.

When Rashid and Altaïr comes for the mare, Rashid looks in disgust at Desmond, but Altaïr looks.... sad. While everyone moves the mare over to the transport, Ezio goes to feed Desmond and finds Altaïr in the stall. Desmond is playing with Altaïr and the teen is smiling, which Ezio thought him incapable off. When Altaïr realises he's been caught he tries to play it off as curiousity at his prized mares offspring, but Ezio of course doesn't buy it. Especially when the offer to try to bottle feed Desmond is recieved with a very enthuastic nod. Sadly Altaïr has to leave and Ezio is left with having to juggle the responsibility of the stable, of raising Desmond who refuses a foster mother and his duty as the middle brother. Life is stressfull, but Desmond certainly brightens any day.

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Just a very self indulgent AU with the excuse of having Ezio and Federico in tight jeans and cowboy hats. XD And ofc Desmond causing chaos everywhere he goes, though rarely causing harm. Maybe Leonardo could be a vet that works at both stables for EziLeo or you could even do a rare pair of EziAlt(idk what the ship name is XD) once Altaïr realises that Al Mualim never had the horses in mind, only profit.

Ratonhnhaké:ton can remain largely unchanged if you want him included. Haytham works at Masyaf Ranch and both Auditore and Masyaf border a native american reserve where he met Ziio. Ratonhnhaké:ton prefers to play and eventually help out on Auditore Farm, much to his fathers chagrin. But Haytham does try to be there for him, despite their differences(i've recently gone into a fix it Father-Son fic dive, so i want a Haytham that will at least try for his son).

Full disclmainer: i have only watched/read a few movies and books about ranches and stables, not to mention having no idea how native americans do things, so i apologize if anything is grossly wrong. I don't mean it, i just want a feel good story about a man and his horse overcoming odds and everythin ends well at the end. ^^

Full disclaimer: The only thing I know about ranches and stables are from … well, majority from fanfics where one dude goes to a ranch to work and falls in love with the ranch owner and… the movie Nope and that horse-heavy episode of Leverage. XD

So my immediate idea is that Altaïr ran away from Masyaf Ranch and asks Ezio to employ him for board and food. That’s our setup for AltEzi if you want XD

Or it can turn into Ezio being the older brother and caring parental figure that Altaïr desperately needed.

I don’t know why but I kinda imagine Federico having to use a cane in this one as part of his accident. He still helps out in the ranch but he’s relegated to light work and mostly budgeting and stuff. Altaïr’s employment is a definite godsend.

Federico is also the one who cooks and he cooks a lot when he’s stressed. Even makes his own jam from the garden they have (which Ezio tends to most of the time).

It would be funny if this was set in Desmond’s POV the entire time so the whole EziAlt part is right there but Desmond just assumes they’re becoming such close ‘friends’.

Ratonhnhaké:ton and Haytham works as stable hands and Ratonhnhaké:ton is around Altaïr’s age so they become close.

If you still want this to be EziLeo then the beta couple could be AltCon instead? That’s an even rarer pairing hahahaha

Leonardo is a family friend and the vet to their town (which has a lot of ranches) and he’s close to the family that he sometimes joins meal time whenever he’s there on a job and he has the time. If this was EziLeo, this would be a slowburn friends-to-lovers kind of deal with Federico working overtime to get Ezio to realize that Leonardo has a crush on him. Altaïr gets roped in later on much to his dissatisfaction.

Claudia and Petruccio are both living their own lives with Petruccio away for college. If this was summer time, he comes home to help out and he can be Altaïr’s friend.

Throughout this entire thing, Desmond is just trying to live his horse life while trying to get use to his horse body with his greatest problem being his instincts to move like a human.

He finds love in eating the strawberry field Haytham is in charge of.

His archnemesis is a bird that always tweet so loudly in the morning, waking him up and having the galls to land on his back because it knows Desmond sees him as the bane of his horse existence.

In other words, this is a feel good story about two men finding their own happiness while taking care of the strangest horse… while overcoming odds and everything ends well in the end.

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Wheat fields are more mystical than fields of other crops. You are 7,000 times more likely to meet an old god or see a portent of doom in a wheat field than in a field of like… soybeans.

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Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

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