mylifeasaserver

[mylifeasaserver]

No matter how much you think you hate journalists, it isn't enough

Know what I find really helps me find fulfillment at work? A healthy pay check. And competent coworkers. "Emotional salary" sounds like code for "pizza party," which can be nice but I'd rather have

M

O

N

E

Y

Gonna be honest here, if I'm looking at job adverts and they tell me how high the emotional salary is, I've immediately determined that to be a shit place to work. I'll put up with enormous amounts of bullshit for a fat paychecks (or stacks of tips, before tipping ends.)

Why the fuck do businesses and their journo lackeys think I give a single solitary fuck about "the comraderie" - especially more than the pay? I don't go to fucking work for a good time, to make friends, or for fulfillment. If I want fulfillment I do things outside of work.

Work is for pay and benefits. Not comraderie. Not fulfillment.

This bullshit really pisses me off.

[mylifeasaserver]

Not saying you should out-conspiracy the vaccine complainers, but I’ve done it and it’s extremely funny to watch them glitch out

I find not engaging with crazy people to be far more rewarding because they hate that shit.

Crazy people is a list including, but in no way limited to:

People who tell others they need to get the COVID-19 vaccine

People who tell others why they shouldn't get the COVID-19 vaccine

Everybody in government, every country, every level

People who speak English as a primary language

People who do not speak English as a primary language

People who think they speak English as a primary language but can't fathom the difference between "lose" and "loose"

People who don't like cheese

People who don't like chocolate

@shriekingpotatos

People who think pumpkin is edible

People who think parsnips are edible

That one guy in NY who doesn't like ice cream

People who vomit their political/religious opinions around like anybody actually wants to hear that shit

Full-service restaurant non-tippers

Pretty much everybody in Cracker Barrel's corporate offices

The entire state of California and everywhere a Californian moves to

People with pictures of a shitty dark circle of the eclipse talking about how beautiful it was - your fucking picture wasn't

Pete Buttigieg

Mike Pence

The entire cast, audience, production crew, janitorial staff, and pretty much anybody in any way affiliated with The View

People that don't want to try my homemade wine and beer

The makers of Zima, clear Coke, new Coke, clear Pepsi, and all the god-awful clear beverages of the 90's that on a good day tasted like a rhino's expressed anal glands mixed with sweat

People who gave Unicorn Overlord bad reviews - your opinion is bad and you should feel bad

The IRS, especially those who decided auto-gratuity was a wage and not a tip

Those Just Stop Oil protesters that shut down roads so people sit there with their cars running, burning more oil

People who let their children run loose

Customers in general. Should have led with that.

Managers, especially the ones who think it's somehow motivating to have pay/hours/job threats constantly looming and that yelling is the best way to get what you want

I could have just said customers and left it at that...but I'd already typed too far and was too lazy to scroll back up. -J

#retail #crazy people #restaurant

[mylifeasaserver]

Just a Couple Days

At least weekly at this pharmacy (and it feels like much more often) somebody on a controlled medication is "going out of town" and needs to pick up early.

Once in a while - and just a day or two early - we can accommodate.

But there are limits.

Lady comes in today to pick her Adderall up, which through a miracle of miracles we actually have in stock.

Except it isn't ready because it's nearly a week early. I communicate this to her. A fit is thrown. "But I'm leaving town!"

The pharmacist that I really like working with is summoned, once I tell her what's up with this patient. She does her research, and discovers that this patient picks up early each and every month, mostly at different pharmacies, made possible by the shortages.

They have a discussion, and this woman attempts to preach company policy to the pharmacist, which while she isn't wrong, is a very stupid choice to make since nobody likes being told how to do their job - especially if they're already good at it.

The pharmacist goes back to her research, then goes back to our treasured patient. She asks what happened to the medication she should have on hand since she's been picking it up early for nearly a year. She did the math. After no coherent answer, she's told to forget about getting it early. After a bit of griping she threatens to take her prescription elsewhere, as though the pharmacist owns this business and gives a shit.

Then the pharmacist calls her doctor's office. Her scripts will be hard-coded going forward. No early fills without their express approval. Good.

Now one would think that she'd take the L and move on. She would understand she wasn't getting what she wants, and adapt accordingly.

She calls us, maybe 20 minutes later, wanting to talk to "somebody who takes customer service seriously."

Knowing who it was because we all talk to one another, she was transferred to the same pharmacist that shut her down.

Our valued patient, upon whom the very existence of the pharmacy rests, then hung up.

Unicorn Overlord is a great game. -J

#retail #pharmacy

[mylifeasaserver]

Breaks

Unlike in the restaurant world, retail seems to be pretty militant about employees taking breaks.

Most likely because they've been sued for skipping them, but the reason isn't relevant.

I get sent on my lunch break. There are a few people in line and as I beeline for the break room a guy in line says at me "yeah go ahead and leave while there are CUSTOMERS in line."

I stopped and apologized to him, because he is a valued customer and my reason for living. "I'm sorry I'm forced to take a federally mandated lunch break. Hopefully you won't be too late for the world peace conference."

Then, knowing full good and damn well he wasn't going to do anything of importance the rest of the day short of downing 7,000 calories, I went on my break.

When I got back, I discovered he complained not only that I had the audacity to talk back to him, but that he had to wait almost 10 minutes in line because I wasn't there.

With a bit of luck he'll transfer his shit to Walgreens and bother them.

At some point I'll write about the world's most annoying coworker, but I'm waiting to see which of us dies first. -J

#pharmacy #retail

[mylifeasaserver]

Christmas Miracles

Most of the people coming to this pharmacy are normal people. Every so often we get some unhinged shithead suffering through extreme entitlement.

Christmas Eve we close an hour later than normal, to extend the suffering of employees.

I get a call from one of my least favorite customers an hour before we close. She's running late, she says, and won't make it until after we close.

Well that's too bad. We open again on Tuesday. Pick it up then.

She then commands me to stay open an extra 20 minutes so she can pick up. **Author's Note: I've stayed open late for somebody getting something like antibiotics for their kid and just left the ER or something. Even if I don't like them. This is...not that. I suppose it's important to note that this particular customer is always running late, and often shows up right at close or later.**

I tell her we will not be staying open late for her, and she tells me there will be hell to pay if we don't. Then she hangs up, leaving me to decide whether or not it's worth it to me to close on time or bend to her whims.

I'm absolutely closing on time.

Closing comes. I have all the closing stuff done, and I take the register drawers out back.

I then clock out and head for the door. On my way out, I pass her. I don't mention that the pharmacy is closed, because she could use the exercise and disappointment in her life.

Fast forward to Tuesday.

She comes in and demands the manager. He's out for the day, having a much-deserved day off. So she gets the pharmacist on duty.

I love this pharmacist. She goes out and listens to this woman lie and say that I told her we'd stay open late for her. That would probably have meaning had I not been working with this pharmacist on Christmas Eve and we'd been making fun of her.

The pharmacist tells her that no, I did not tell her we'd stay open late. And no, we wouldn't ever be staying open late for her because we don't do that (despite having done it) so she needs to plan better.

Our valued customer then threatens to take her business elsewhere.

I wish a bitch would.

Yeah, I know it took me a week to post this. I also know that more happened during the week that I may eventually post. Or maybe not. -J

#pharmacy #retail

[mylifeasaserver]

I love making things with hot peppers. And that process has taught me a valuable lesson. Hand soap does NOT destroy oils, such as the oils found in the hot peppers I was working with.

See, I was making salsa or hot pepper jelly when I needed to use the bathroom. So I did like anybody would: I washed my hands and went to the bathroom.

I got done in the bathroom, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Mere minutes later the most intense burning of my life began in the exact spot where I'd least want such a sensation. And as time went on, it only intensified. In my haste to rid myself of Satan's tickle, I decided to jump in the shower. As it turns out, my 13-in-1 body wash combo was no more effective at stopping this nightmare than the hand soap. In fact, the water had spread the oils, and now my misery was worse.

Things were getting dire. I did a quick browser search for a remedy and discovered that hand soaps DO NOTHING against hot pepper oils, that I'd need to use either vinegar or dish soap or lemon juice.

I was very motivated to remove the oils, so I grabbed my gallon of vinegar and went back into the shower.

Mercifully, vinegar did the trick.

Anyway, don't mess with hot peppers and then touch your junk without dish soap.

When I make chili, it's usually a slow methodical process. Letting it cool overnight. Warming it up in the morning in the crock pot. Storing the rest in the fridge or freezer.

Because I prepared fresh hot peppers without gloves. I still have residue on my hands despite washing them repeatedly. When I touch my face, there's a burning sensation. But I can't wait to eat my chili.

I think I made too much. I'm going to give some to my coworkers.

[mylifeasaserver]

It's important to note that a good portion, if not most, of Gen Z isn't nearly as useless as these idiots promising to "set the vibes."

Vibes don't meet production goals nor do they make rent.

[mylifeasaserver]

[mylifeasaserver]

No, Liz, that's not how this works.

The tip is for the service. If the service is shit, the tip should match. You know this is the case, because if you didn't, you wouldn't have included "And if you're uncomfortable with a woman having the agency..." because let's face it, that's just cover for your bad take.

In short, fuck off.

[mylifeasaserver]

Boy oh boy have the people screeching "shoplifting hurts nobody!" been awful quiet lately.

#shoplifting

[mylifeasaserver]

Target closing 9 stores due to violence and theft.

Must be losing a lot of money to close 9 stores.

#retail

[mylifeasaserver]

Since unpaid overtime is illegal pretty much anywhere, I would abuse the shit out of this and reap the rewards.

And save this picture for when I sued them for unpaid overtime.

[mylifeasaserver]

It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

And this message made me want to delete.

#10 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

[mylifeasaserver]

I too want to see these changes!

I am the change I wish to see in the world.

Okay everyone I’ve been MIA for a while since I haven’t been working and there’s no tales from the sales floor if I’m not on the sales floor BUT

I have an interview this Saturday at a really nice restaurant for a server position ($10/hr plus tips on plates that average $45 a pop? Say less)

So please send me all the good vibes.

Im nervous.

I haven’t had an interview in 5 years lmfaooo

P.S. I asked @mylifeasaserver to look over my résumé and let me know if it looked fine (since I haven’t written one in like 10 years) and he sent back, uh… interesting changes.

If anyone wants to see it, I’ll block out my info and post it 😂

He is a menace to society. A menace to me, at least

[mylifeasaserver]

The OG Customer

Today I got the incomparable pleasure of running the register for a few hours.

My very first beloved customer comes up and says he has a pickup.

Super! What's your name?

"How could you not know? I was one of the first customers at this pharmacy! Everybody knows me here!"

Well, I wasn't here then. And I've never seen you before. I tell him I have no idea who he is.

"I WAS HERE WHEN THE BUILDING OPENED!"

"But I wasn't? Look I just need to know your name so I can go get your stuff."

"I can't believe this! This is outrageous!"

"My guy, I've worked here only about a year. This place has been open far longer than that. So are you going to give me your name or...?"

Maybe realizing he wasn't as well-known as he thought he was, he finally gave me his name.

I got him his meds and he says to me "Bet you'll remember me next time!"

Sorry buddy, I plan to drink you from my memory.

Temu ads are unrelenting. Just make it stop already. -J

#pharmacy #retail #pharmacy tech

[mylifeasaserver]

EvErY sEcOnD cOuNtS

A Dunkin' Donuts crew member (according to Ziprecruiter) can expect anywhere from $7.93 to $17.91/hr with a national average of $13.43/hr.

At those wages Dunkin' can afford a few seconds.

If I owned a location and saw this I'd immediately audit the manager who posted it looking for any wasted time.

[mylifeasaserver]

Quite possibly the most useless button in all of existence.