😫But it's still so broken, look what happens when you click the tags, I have no idea what that is or how to fix it DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I'VE REFORMATTED ENOUGH
*sigh* Alright, random graphics, you win.
(Website fixing is in progress, folks, in accordance with the latest WP update... I'm going to get rid of two plugins! I've managed to make it look reasonable with WPs broke-ass defaults! Mostly! In places!)
My brother just came back from his school hiking trip with an axe that he made out of a real deer scapula and a stick he found??? What the actual fuck. There's still cartilage hanging on to the joint
“Lord Byron gets up at two. I get up, quite contrary to my usual custom … at 12. After breakfast we sit talking till six. From six to eight we gallop through the pine forest which divide Ravenna from the sea; we then come home and dine, and sit up gossiping till six in the morning. I don’t suppose this will kill me in a week or fortnight, but I shall not try it longer. Lord B.’s establishment consists, besides servants, of ten horses, eight enormous dogs, three monkeys, five cats, an eagle, a crow, and a falcon; and all these, except the horses, walk about the house, which every now and then resounds with their unarbitrated quarrels, as if they were the masters of it… . [P.S.] I find that my enumeration of the animals in this Circean Palace was defective … . I have just met on the grand staircase five peacocks, two guinea hens, and an Egyptian crane. I wonder who all these animals were before they were changed into these shapes.”
— Percy Bysshe Shelley on the lifestyle of Lord Byron (via timemarauder)
After experimenting in frustration last night, part of the problem is definitely that my screen protector wore out almost immediately and this Lenovo stylus (which was a free - probably also refurbished - bonus I did not expect!) badly needs a new nib... which I can't find. Even the ones on the Lenovo site have bad reviews for breaking and not fitting.
I've got some options. I budgeted for adding a full-on pen display if I needed one. It's all academic anyway due to eye issues *sigh* but I'm still operating under the assumption that whatever this is will improve with diagnosis and treatment.
We'll see what the next month of mandatory "oh god too much going on" break time does to me!
Maaaaybe. I'll give you a "definitely" in the spirit of fun and games:
"Abracadabra."
-Erik, to a guy with a gun.
Well, if nothing else, I wrote a new favourite line, and this one's for the actual serial!
"Don’t you ever use the people I love as a bludgeon trying to break me. I’m already broken and I will cut you!”
Woo, emotions are running high. But they have to, because I want them to take the train instead of the cat. That'll make sense in the future, if you're reading. Statistically, it's very unlikely you'll see this or that you're reading. Hi! I'm a random voice in a contextless void!
Well, if nothing else, I wrote a new favourite line, and this one's for the actual serial!
"Don’t you ever use the people I love as a bludgeon trying to break me. I’m already broken and I will cut you!”
Woo, emotions are running high. But they have to, because I want them to take the train instead of the cat. That'll make sense in the future, if you're reading. Statistically, it's very unlikely you'll see this or that you're reading. Hi! I'm a random voice in a contextless void!
Add "Basically a stuffed animal with fangs" and account for Bunnicula, Count Von Count, most vampires in children's media, and the nicer members of the Cullen family.
"What are we talking about, like an Anne Rice or a True Blood? You know Twilight? Very different kind of vampires."
Let's talk about Abigail, on the latest Mediavoring: https://www.patreon.com/posts/mediavoring-2024-102989780
Real Artists: "That's easy to fix, just imagine where the belly button is!"
My cockeyed dysfunctional ass: "Yeah, uh... I'ma keep cutting up photos and playing with digital models over here. You, uh, go build plausible human beings out of simple shapes in your mind palace. That's cool."
*bangs head on desk* I could reeeeally use some reliable 3D vision to make producing art a little less painful. Maybe I'd even get used to it and be able to do it in my mind. I doubt I have enough time left on this planet to figure it out, but it'd be nice to have a chance.
Of course they loved me and wanted me to be happy, but they had no idea who I was, and they loved who they thought I was too much to listen when I tried to say that wasn't me, and they were hurting me.
They probably still love me, the ones still alive, and have no idea why I left.
I could say, "Because you were killing me." And they wouldn't understand.
So, yeah, I had to go.
things haven't been great
but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
I hate hate hate doing this, but the gfm money can't be touched, we're broke, and between groceries and bills for stuff about to be shut off, I need to pull in 400 bucks out of thin air.
And I'm too backed up with orders to promote the site, so I'm just asking for donations if you can kick in a few bucks to help. Here's the link: https://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts
Anything helps, even if it's just reblooping this.
When the road is long and hard, you pick up a lot more stuff. There's some good stuff in here but dear god, so many thorns and prickers and cholla patties and I don't even KNOW what that is but it sure does hurt.
It's a lot to sort though. It takes a long time to sort through. Fingers crossed for having enough time to rest and recover and make the most of the past before plodding grimly on towards the future.
For whatever this is worth....
A large part of my childhood experience felt to me, at the time, like 'Adults Making Up New Rules Just to Make Me Miserable'.
It was far more complex than that, of course.
But in the 70's, it was still "He does so well at reading, and he passes tests based on minimal attention and effort, but he just can't get along with other children, and he assumes he's being mocked a lot of times when he isn't, and he acts out."
I don't even claim I'm much better than I was then, or in my twenties, or thirties, or forties. Everything I seem to understand about myself now, just makes me sad/angry that I can't get that information back to younger versions of me. Even as I realize that people who cared about me and for me back then were absolutely trying to tell me some of this stuff.
I could have had a lot more fun as a kid if my brain didn't insist on making it harder for me.
I probably also could have a lot more fun now if I didn't keep constantly swimming in my own memories.
But, hey, my spouse likes me and my Mom and I have a far better rapport than we did then.