onesadboi280798-blog

[onesadboi280798-blog]

her.

We first met when i was 15 and you were 13, it was a hot or not date and not gonna lie, i catfished you. Now im not ugly, id say about an 8 at a push, but i may have advertised myself as a 10. The day was fun, i met you in the train station you were standing inbetween the two phones next to KFC, you were wearing this cute little hat with two fluffy pompoms and beautiful multicoloured hair flowing out the sides, you had three piercings in your nose, two hoops on the sides and a septum piercing in the middle, so unique, i seen you and i instantly loved your eccentric appearance and complete weirdness, in a dull world you were a shining star. Now the whole date consisted of me hitting on you and you ignoring my advances, i was a lil fuckboi you were well within your right. When chilling at your house you made me sit and watch as you played minecraft and i was sooooo bored, i think you were trying to get me to leave looking back on it. but as you said, i am very persistent. The day went terribly and i was leaving to get the bus home you told me i reminded you of a guy from your school that you hated, cheers, and you tapped me a cigarette, it was a herbal cigarette and i didn’t hide my disappointment. We didn’t talk after.

When i was 17 and you were 16 our paths crossed again. We seen each other in the city where we first met, i was with my friend and you asked if i would jump into the shop to buy you cigarettes, i jumped at the chance to help you and my early puberty came in handy for passing for 18. A nice conversation ensued, we had a catch up, we both had matured it was nice. We texted the next day and you told me you thought my friend was really attractive, i wasn’t all too bothered as i had a girlfriend but it kept coming up again in my head and i couldnt get you out of it.

When i was 18 and you were 17 i seen you in a town close to where i stay and very far from where you stay, i was on my way to a gig and stopped at the train station to pick up the drummer (the friend from earlier) wondering why you were so far from home, you told me you were there to see a boy, upon hearing his name i recognised him and i couldn’t have imagined a better match for you. Skip forward a few months to the rise of Pokemon go, i was playing in the city where we met with my girlfriend at the local hotspot. You passed with your boyfriend and it turns out he knew my girlfriend, we both shared an awkward smile, we both looked back.

Following a bad break up with my ex i was in a lonely place and decided to hit you up, it turns out you had broken up with your boyfriend recently too. We started talking and got on pretty well and you invited me back up to yours to hang out. As i arrived your friends mum picked me up in the car with you looking beautiful as ever in the back seat. She took me to your friends house and as spontaneous as you are you never told me this was happening, your friends were traveller folk and they were lovely people, although they weren’t educated and i found it difficult to talk to them. We smoked a heck of a lot of funky stuff with them and i was the most stoned id ever been. Upon leaving we went to your house and chilled for a bit, talked and you left me in your house for 2 hours while you went and got weed. I didn’t complain you had the cutest dog ever and we had some quality bonding time. I stayed at yours that night and had a lil kiss and cuddle and you made me sleep in the other room.

We both moved into the city at the same time soon after and we became fast friends, although i was wanting more. For 6 whole months you kept me on edge, does she like me? does she not? eventually after 6 months of being in the friend zone i eventually realised i was putting myself there, i then started treating you like a girlfriend and you eventually came around to the idea of us. 

It was a beautiful 6 months, i made a big mistake. I had made plans with you and then an old friend invited me to go skating and i agreed, while i was out i remembered i had plans with you. Instead of just telling you i pretended to be sick, but snapchat maps had your back. I should never have lied to you, i used it as a quick solution to a simple problem, i never meant to hurt you, my intentions were to not tell you to avoid hurting your feelings but lies hurt more than that.

Whats even worse, i did it again. I went to see my ex (from earlier) we hadnt seen each other in ages and wanted a catch up, we were both in relationships so there was nothing left between us. You had made it clear you did not like her at all after a snide comment she had made about your eyebrows, although i only think you didnt like her cause i laughed at said comment, it was funny. Once again instead of telling you i lied about what i was doing that day. Overcome with guilt i told you about what happened, you left me. 

You wanted to stay friends i was upset and said some mean things which i regret, im really sorry, i didnt mean any of those things. You havent talked to me since. Ive reached out and you blocked me.

Its been 8 months now. I still think about you everyday, i cant think of a future without you in it. I need to let go, but my heart is still telling me that you are the one. I love you. I did since i first seen you. I always will. I suck at talking about my feelings so im gonna put them on tumblr in hopes one day you will see it.

i miss you Danielle. I hope your dogs ok.

[onesadboi280798-blog]

her.

We first met when i was 15 and you were 13, it was a hot or not date and not gonna lie, i catfished you. Now im not ugly, id say about an 8 at a push, but i may have advertised myself as a 10. The day was fun, i met you in the train station you were standing inbetween the two phones next to KFC, you were wearing this cute little hat with two fluffy pompoms and beautiful multicoloured hair flowing out the sides, you had three piercings in your nose, two hoops on the sides and a septum piercing in the middle, so unique, i seen you and i instantly loved your eccentric appearance and complete weirdness, in a dull world you were a shining star. Now the whole date consisted of me hitting on you and you ignoring my advances, i was a lil fuckboi you were well within your right. When chilling at your house you made me sit and watch as you played minecraft and i was sooooo bored, i think you were trying to get me to leave looking back on it. but as you said, i am very persistent. The day went terribly and i was leaving to get the bus home you told me i reminded you of a guy from your school that you hated, cheers, and you tapped me a cigarette, it was a herbal cigarette and i didn't hide my disappointment. We didn't talk after.

When i was 17 and you were 16 our paths crossed again. We seen each other in the city where we first met, i was with my friend and you asked if i would jump into the shop to buy you cigarettes, i jumped at the chance to help you and my early puberty came in handy for passing for 18. A nice conversation ensued, we had a catch up, we both had matured it was nice. We texted the next day and you told me you thought my friend was really attractive, i wasn't all too bothered as i had a girlfriend but it kept coming up again in my head and i couldnt get you out of it.

When i was 18 and you were 17 i seen you in a town close to where i stay and very far from where you stay, i was on my way to a gig and stopped at the train station to pick up the drummer (the friend from earlier) wondering why you were so far from home, you told me you were there to see a boy, upon hearing his name i recognised him and i couldn't have imagined a better match for you. Skip forward a few months to the rise of Pokemon go, i was playing in the city where we met with my girlfriend at the local hotspot. You passed with your boyfriend and it turns out he knew my girlfriend, we both shared an awkward smile, we both looked back.

Following a bad break up with my ex i was in a lonely place and decided to hit you up, it turns out you had broken up with your boyfriend recently too. We started talking and got on pretty well and you invited me back up to yours to hang out. As i arrived your friends mum picked me up in the car with you looking beautiful as ever in the back seat. She took me to your friends house and as spontaneous as you are you never told me this was happening, your friends were traveller folk and they were lovely people, although they weren't educated and i found it difficult to talk to them. We smoked a heck of a lot of funky stuff with them and i was the most stoned id ever been. Upon leaving we went to your house and chilled for a bit, talked and you left me in your house for 2 hours while you went and got weed. I didn't complain you had the cutest dog ever and we had some quality bonding time. I stayed at yours that night and had a lil kiss and cuddle and you made me sleep in the other room.

We both moved into the city at the same time soon after and we became fast friends, although i was wanting more. For 6 whole months you kept me on edge, does she like me? does she not? eventually after 6 months of being in the friend zone i eventually realised i was putting myself there, i then started treating you like a girlfriend and you eventually came around to the idea of us. 

It was a beautiful 6 months, i made a big mistake. I had made plans with you and then an old friend invited me to go skating and i agreed, while i was out i remembered i had plans with you. Instead of just telling you i pretended to be sick, but snapchat maps had your back. I should never have lied to you, i used it as a quick solution to a simple problem, i never meant to hurt you, my intentions were to not tell you to avoid hurting your feelings but lies hurt more than that.

Whats even worse, i did it again. I went to see my ex (from earlier) we hadnt seen each other in ages and wanted a catch up, we were both in relationships so there was nothing left between us. You had made it clear you did not like her at all after a snide comment she had made about your eyebrows, although i only think you didnt like her cause i laughed at said comment, it was funny. Once again instead of telling you i lied about what i was doing that day. Overcome with guilt i told you about what happened, you left me. 

You wanted to stay friends i was upset and said some mean things which i regret, im really sorry, i didnt mean any of those things. You havent talked to me since. Ive reached out and you blocked me.

Its been 8 months now. I still think about you everyday, i cant think of a future without you in it. I need to let go, but my heart is still telling me that you are the one. I love you. I did since i first seen you. I always will. I suck at talking about my feelings so im gonna put them on tumblr in hopes one day you will see it.

i miss you Danielle. I hope your dogs ok.

#love #breakup #story