opinionsofamalayalee

[opinionsofamalayalee]

men are allowed to be so mediocre it’s insulting on the deepest level

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Dr. Indri Pickles 

Indri Pickle Lab

#this is cute

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Oru Naal Koothu (2016)

#this #indian #indian misogyny

[opinionsofamalayalee]

9 Problems with Women’s Clothing And the worst part is that clothing companies do it because they know we’ll still buy their products.  But do we have much other choice?

[opinionsofamalayalee]

okay, listen. desi kids, we fucking love our mothers, especially our immigrant mothers who were torn from their homes with husbands they hardly knew, who sacrificed careers and education and their own mothers. they are the strongest people we know. we would die for them and kill for them. i can’t think of a single person who matters more to me than my mother. 

but the thing is, sometimes they themselves don’t know what’s right for their children. we know our mothers are caught between their husbands (whom they have been dependent on for the last few decades of their life) and their children (whom they only want the best for). 

in desi households, the kids don’t give a fuck about their fathers, they would sooner leave them than listen to a single word they say (and a lot of this has to do with the way men in south asia are raised – conversation for another time). but it’s the mother that really controls the household in the sense that she will take the angry words of her husband and tell them softly to her kids… who will listen to even the worst command if it’s coming from her. she doesn’t realize it, your father doesn’t realize it, and you don’t realize it, but this is still emotional manipulation and it is abusive as fuck.

you love your mother, and i love my mother. but sooner or later we really will have to come to terms with the fact that when we give in to her soft pleading requests despite rejecting it when it came as an order from our father’s harsh screaming, we’re perpetuating the same cycle we are trying to escape. it’s gonna make you feel guilty and craven and frustrated, you do so many things you don’t want to, but it’s the truth.

there’s no escape. we’re trapped for life with our mother’s love.

you’re either selfish and you leave your mother, or you’re a coward and you listen to your father. you’re never free. 

[opinionsofamalayalee]

In front of my mother and my sisters, I pretend love is cheap and vulgar. I act like it’s a sin– I pretend that love is for women on a dark path. But at night i dream of a love so heavy it makes my spine throb.– I dream up a lover who makes love like he is separating salt from water.

Salma Deera, “salt”   (via athleisurebinch)

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Tbh I don’t really understand desi mentality. You’re only allowed to talk during the engagement period, not before. And yet, brown people legit think the engagement period should be as short as possible, so you don’t break up??? So like youd rather break up once married? Oh no. Thats cos divorce is not a legit option, so you remain in unhappy rushed marriages.

[opinionsofamalayalee]

My parents are driving me crazy by talking about marriage proposals....if there are any gay Indian guys about there whose mothers wont stop talking about marriage, hmu

#I've been watching too much indian movies #fake marriage

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Harry Potter + Mothers

Love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves it’s own mark. To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Some conservative Indian parents are telling their kids that it’s OK to be gay – as long as they are not single.

I read an interesting article today about how people of the Indian culture feel about same sex marriage. I was curious because I thought about how important weddings and marriage are to Indian culture and I was wondering if they felt the way people in the United States do about same sex marriage. 

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the majority of people, including conservative parents, in India do not care about homosexuality or same sex marriage. They are not opposed to it in the least bit. What they are opposed to is their child not being married at all. The article is from the perspective of a man named Sandip Roy who moved to the U.S. from India and is openly gay. He illustrates how Indians feel about their children being gay by giving an example of what they would say when coming out, “Mom, Dad, I don’t think I am going to get married.” Marriage is a huge aspect of Indian life and being gay does not change that. 

At the end of the article, Roy asks if it is perhaps time for gay arranged marriages. This is a concept I had never thought of before but it makes perfect sense. Why do we assume that only heterosexuals have a difficult time finding a partner? It is just as hard to find a partner being gay. There are dating websites now specifically designed for gay Indian men and women to find a mate. I think this is extremely interesting and is the first step to gay arranged marriages. 

We discussed gender roles a great deal in my anthropology class. We talked about what are some things that we feel are masculine and feminine. We also discussed the issue that many people have when women are not strictly feminine and men are not strictly masculine. There has been a lot of tension and struggle for Americans regarding this. 

It seems that this does not matter to the majority of Indian people. Having slightly different ideals has seemed to separate their entire way of thinking about being gay and same sex marriage from ours. We do not hold marriage as highly in our priorities as Indians do. Many people in the U.S. do not ever get married and it is not a big deal. In India, it is seen as shame upon your family and a failure of your parents if you do not get married, regardless of who you get married to. This slight change in ideals and values between India and America shows how differently we might think if our values were different. 

Roy also makes a statement that shows the complete reverse opinions of Indians and Americans in regard to their children being gay. Americans who are not married often make the statement “at least I’m not gay.” Roy shows that in India, when his friend makes this statement his parents respond with, “We’d rather you were gay with kids.” This shows how different the views of these two countries are.

I think how they feel there is revolutionary and although it may not be fair to people who never find a true soulmate and never get married, it seems much more fair than in America where we scrutinize the relationships people have and ban them from marrying the person they love. I think gay arranged marriages are a great idea that would be extremely successful in India and all over the world. Hopefully the concept of equality and acceptance will spread from India to America one day and we will feel the same as they do about being gay and same sex marriage. 

#really interesting #indian #homosexuality

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Can we have more Bollywood movies where:

A Christian isn’t someone who drinks alcohol and parties and hooks up with every person in the place

A Muslim isn’t someone who blast bombs and destroys the peace of society

A Sikh isn’t someone who cracks a terrible joke and is a bumbling fool who likes to eat too much

#Malayalam Cinema

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Still on the road (happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians), but I thought I would draw the snacks that we eat on our road trip.

Chakka (jackfruit) chips, kapalandi muttai and kerala mixture are my faves.  

#kerala snacks

[opinionsofamalayalee]

OK, this star baby is too cute for words. Really.

(Photo from Prithviraj’s Facebook page)

#Prithviraj #Malayalam Cinema #i cant believe he's a dad #what a happy baby :)

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Anyone else feel like the plot of “The Gift” is similar to “Bhramaram” plot-line?

#idk i havent seen the movie yet but from the trailer and plot descriptions online #Malayalam Cinema #did edgerton watch bhramaram #or is the bhramaram plot a borrowed one? #random thoughts #mohanlal

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Shoutout to all the women & girls who were ever told by the older women in their families that they were "putting on weight" or "getting fat"

9 times out of 10 you were probably transitioning into a full fledged woman, leaving behind your girlish figure. Society & Cultural messages about our body image is one thing, but your own FAMILY of so-called sheroes reinforcing it is pretty FUCKED up to say the least

#family

[opinionsofamalayalee]

Indian actresses slaying the bindi game      ↠ in honor of reclaimthebindi week!

#reclaimthebindi #indian actress

[opinionsofamalayalee]

#so true