owlsinpants
Trainwreck In Remission
autistic and co., philosophical rants and poems available here. Also shitposts and funny reblogs.
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is anyone else just lost all the time because they need detective boyle to tell them what to do with their hair
#brooklyn 99#iykyk#also you need to use less conditioner#because this#is a flat mess#nine-nine#jake peralta#charles boyle#gina linetti
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This has to reach jacques
when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done
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Do you ever wonder if the world has stopped?
It's been still for quite a while now. What are you doing?
Do you ever wonder if we are all dreaming?
Do you think the moon scoffs at us, down below, as it sees the Earth careen away, disrupting the planet, the galaxy, the universe
Do you ever wonder if we might have just - stopped?
Are we being silly?
Do we spend so long every day, trying to attain the unattainable, until our backs are broken and our flesh is soft
As if so much movement reduced it to putty
Have we closed our eyes just yet?
Will we notice when we do?
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Can't tell you the amount of times I've bitten into a croissant and it turned out to be bear claws where can I get one
#you ever think about the fact#that the bear might be pranking me#and putting his nail clippings in my frozen croissant box#so when I heat em up and take a bite it's his nail#and he's videotaping me and posting it to YoutuBear
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List of the best books ever:
A Sense of the Infinite, Hilary T Smith- read it over and over again in a hard place in life, it was really sweet and gentle
The Words We Keep, Erin Stewart- literally cried the whole way through the book, brilliantly written and the characters pop off the page
Eleanor and Park, Rainbow Rowell- Bittersweet and very good
The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak- A brilliant idea implemented by a literary genius.
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went today to ask if the value village near me was hiring and then they said to look at the website and i bought a book and left and i dont even want to work there but now I'm scared to go back because I implied that i do and what if they ask am i just supposed to be like "No hahaha I'm just stupid and forgot that I can't talk to people"
Anyway, happy Wednesday
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it is Wednesday my dudes
i took three busses downtown and came upon a tattoo parlour and I decided to finally get my ears pierced and one of them is way lower than the other and that sums up my life so perfectly rn
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