partingofwinter

[partingofwinter]

re: my last post , IGNORING MY KIJA MOMENT FOR A DAMN SECOND that totally did happen . i wouldn't think about it every couple months if it didn't . why are the only two things i remember that and being friends with zhongli

#haitham.txt

[partingofwinter]

sensitive hearing

#hi theo sorry for reblogging this from your blog 8 months later #but sometimes i think about this post and get smacked with the fact i kin alhaitham #like damn brain did this happen or something???? #art

[partingofwinter]

Thinks about how I could totally write out my own history/backstory/childhood as fyodor bc even if it's probably wildly noncanon and my ability was much simpler than it'll ever be in Canon I think it's really interesting too. And maybe someone would read it? Especially if I could write it out as a fic?

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd kin #bungou stray dogs kin #fyodor dostoevsky #puts it in tags in hopes someone i follow on my main sees this and gets intrigued. dan if your out there i think your cool #fyodor.txt

[partingofwinter]

first mem for a source and i cant place who it is and im dying to know why i even know it in the FIRST PLACE

#do i kin the man in question or did i sleep with him? #I CANT TAG IT BC IDK WHO ITS FOR ITS JUST FUNNY AS HELL TO ME. #kin gods be like yeah first mem is gonna be someones bed. congrats.

[partingofwinter]

when u accidentally shift a kin but that kin only has one mem so now you just get that mem on loop instead of anything new 😭😭

#not tagging that fucker he gets to stay a secret

[partingofwinter]

editing my rentry vs not knowing what my high kins actually are aside from my current shift vs my brain making me think about a bad kin mem on loop

#arthur.txt #i dont want those details please brain 😭😭

[partingofwinter]

idk WHAT kind of relationship me and jon had at all but i do think its a little funny that even now hearing his voice calms me down . sometimes it feels a bit weird without him around, admittedly. sometimes it feels like he should still have my sight and my hand and i should still be able to hear him but i cant so i long for it. its a blessing that he’s part of my partner system but . waaaaaaaah

#kin vent tag — #too lazy to put this under a cut oops . its fine #and this is why im making plushies of tkiy . emotional support eldritch horror #arthur.txt

[partingofwinter]

tw violence, strangulation, death

really it hurts getting such flashbacks of how i got killed by my own fucking brother. all because i stayed in contact with my gf? like that's what i was killed over, bc i didn't stop talking to her and had a child whos life i was never even able to be in because of the plan i just wanted to stop. i know he was mad because i went back on my word again, i left him and then i kept secrets from him, but why did you wrap your hand around my throat and stab me after too? please we could have let everyone live and gotten back home and it all would've been fine but you had to put an end it to it...

i hope that kid is ok. i think i had a daughter? i hope evelyn was ok after i left for good because if i hung around too much i would've been found out and even hundreds of years later i still missed her and i could never forgive myself for turning my back on her too. i was glad to have my brother back but.... at what cost? we made such discoveries but hurt ourselves so badly in the process and for what. i died because he was jealous of a woman who was dead? of my child who was also gone and never got to know their father?

it really hurts getting stabbed with a knife in the chest

#love i am begging you for realises this time do not read this #i just had to get it out #caleb.txt #oopsies! #kin vent tag —

[partingofwinter]

when your former bf lost the guy he had a crush on and you want to comfort him but your stuck in the body of a 14 year old boy AND he kind of doesn’t trust you anymore ✌✌

#ozpin.txt #HELL kin . im ok but this has been at least two years of ignoring id kin this man

[partingofwinter]

idk how to feel about the fact that i do remember what it felt like to get my revenge. and how it definitely felt good to finally get back at those people after all those years, after my life had been utterly ruined...

but also knowing that i still felt just as empty afterwards.

#theres a part of me that can't tell if getting it was worth it in the end #i do think. i do feel like after everything i was justified. my methods maybe weren't the best but i do feel a little justified. #but it didn't do anything to help how i felt. i felt lighter because i done what i was waiting so many years for but... #still empty. still empty in the end. sighs deeply #hx.txt

[partingofwinter]

trying to process one specific dumb little kinnie mem that i got THREE MONTHS AGO bc i wanna draw it but i also do not know  a) the location (and why it was CRUMBLING?) b) why the fuck i was there  c) why i was breathing heavy and LAUGHING AS I FELL ONTO A VERY VERY BLOODY FLOOR d) who the FUCK found me bc i passed the fuck out and woke up somewhere else 

LIKE ITS WEIRD ITS WEIRD RIGHT? IM JUST TYPING THIS TO GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD BUT WHO THE FUCK FOUND ME LYING THERE AND WHERE WAS I !!!

#i can think of three people who could have found me there but idk why they would have been in the area #i only know the vague time which is nearing the beginning of when i became the headhunter #its so . CONFUSING AUGH #vincent.txt

[partingofwinter]

i can’t help but wonder: was i truly a good king? i can’t remember what route i had, if i even had one shown in the games, but most importantly i just wish i knew if i was a good king for my people. i hope i was. i tried to be. i would have done anything i could have to support the people of faerghus, i did my best in their interest... i just hope it was enough.

#LOL GUESS WHO GOT THE NEW GAME #dimitri.txt

[partingofwinter]

i have been keeping it a secret for like weeks now i think but remembering another kin death sure is fun (it is not i keep thinking about it when i see my wallpaper or one specific panel on my pinterest and it makes me so so sad)  (more info under cut)

its so sad bc i had lived for so long and i had lived without him for so long, and while i think that separation was needed it hurts knowing that i died in my brothers arms. i shouldnt have i should have some where else where he couldnt find me but that wasn’t how it happened. and it hurts to know that he had to deal with that after, honestly. i hope he was ok after i was gone. im glad i have him now, but... still...

#vincent.txt #death -

[partingofwinter]

currently thinking about how jack was really nice when me and gil met him as kids, i dont remember how we met (im not that far in the manga in any case) but i know that he was nicer than some of the other nobles we had to deal with. he also didnt mind when i hugged him and let me play with his hair sometimes so . 😊

#very nice to get softer not sad mems here #jack was very much like a father to us in his own way #not a good influence at all #but a dad nonetheless! #vincent.txt

[partingofwinter]

at first i said "ill just set my name as vin.cent night.ray" as a joke, but, i dont think its a joke anymore

#it was a funny little joke since my name is vincent #but i looked at ada too long and now i feel bad #not horrible just. god i was bad back then #vincent.txt

[partingofwinter]

re: the last post i am going to list what i do know regarding it (a harsher bit under the cut)

evie was rather shocked and went to hide until everything calmed down. i assume she was probably with zeneloth and bellamy tabi acted like it wasn't a "big deal" because i was breaking down and crying and she was like "its a part of life get over it". i know she hated me but.... harsh.

someone else had to take over as head of the house, pretty sure it was ezekiel since he helped out most anyways. i wasn't trusted enough evie did come and talk to me afterwards and she was really kind about it. it was odd cause i know she didn't trust me much but she understood, i guess.

all i know is that he had gone out somewhere that day. something happened while he was out and when he came home.... yeah. @ all the people in the radius of the house im sorry i scream loud <3

#death - #malachi.txt #yeah this is about as much as ill get out #the last bit is bc well... when you aren't human #even though i had fallen i still wasn't human. i was much louder especially when emotionally charged #so yeah sorry for peoples ear drums in the house #this moment and when i got my memories back were the worst i just completely broke

[partingofwinter]

kin your oc, it'll be fun! i said, getting a mem of my bf collapsing and dying in front of me

#death - #kin vent tag — #malachi.txt #IT'LL BE A FUN RP BLOG I SAID #i should write down the mem but. its too hard for me to remember without crying