there definitely is this really sad phenomenon where even if they realize that its disordered (a “depression meal”) people (especially women) people still tend to feel somewhat proud of eating very little, and embarrassed of eating a lot and thats the reason theres a million “haha i always forget to eat all day then eat a single piece of bread im so quirky” posts on here and ones about overeating are more along the lines of “wow i ate so much i feel so sick and gross and hate myself” and are usually quickly deleted read mores
is it still technically a drink? who cares! grampa wanted a slice and i do too 10/10
skittlebrau
i’m still waiting for some artisanal craft beer company to crowdfund the actualisation of skittlebrau 9/10
malk
brittle bones are a small price to pay for all that vitamin r 7/10
the all-syrup super squishee
this drink comes with consequences. are you prepared for what that might mean? 5/10
shelbyville turnip juice
turnip juice is a real thing apparently? who looked at a turnip and wanted to drink it? 3/10
homer’s morning glass of syrup
my teeth are crying 0/10
marge’s homemade pepsi
an undefinable and unknowable entity ?/10
lays liquid potato chips
i’ve got questions and they’re all about how i can forget i ever had to think about this 0/10
worcestershire flavoured soft drink
carbonated worcestershire is truly a cursed concept 0/10
a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat
the bartender requires you to sign a waiver before he serves you. this drink takes you to a strange new place where the man whose hat you are drinking from tells you the meaning of life in a way you are never able to articulate after you regain consciousness number eight/10
“Papa loves Ibrahim. He’s my beloved. He’s my whole world. I have four other sons, but I love him a little more because he needs it a little more. The doctors recommended an abortion but I wouldn’t hear it. He was only three pounds when he was born. He needed half a liter of milk per day. I’d skip my own breakfast just to buy it for him. I took him to nurseries when he was very young because I wanted him to be comfortable with other children. I found a charity that offered speech classes, and I took him five days a week. Anything that I have, I will give him. I only worry what will happen when I’m gone. I’m getting old. I had a major heart episode two weeks ago. I collapsed in the street and all I could think about was him. My wife can’t support him alone, and I’m afraid other people won’t be as nice to him. If someone makes him angry, he’s very difficult to control. But I have patience. I’ll hold him. I’ll pat him on the shoulder. I’ll do whatever he needs. I just hope he’ll always have someone to do the same.”
(Cairo, Egypt)