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I want fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies. Sweet plantains. A Jamaican beef patty. And a tamarindo raspado.

#personal

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Please quit ignoring your own boundaries. If you keep doing so (to not be a bother or whatever else) for someone, it can damage your relationship long term and may cause resentment to build no matter how much you don’t mean for it to happen.

It is good for your relationships and yourself to have and enforce boundaries.

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I realized what perfectly describes how I feel

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This is my exit

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joyfulsmolthings

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source

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I feel all out of sorts

And I think its just being in this liminal space.

#personal #im accepting #this is where i am at right now #its really uncomfortable though #its really hard to concentrate

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what do you mean fairies aren’t real. I’m standing right here

#I have this ofd story vision in my head on nights where the kids are having a particularly rough time falling asleep #I tell myself the sleep fairy fell behind and she just hasn’t gotten to my house yet #and then when she finally comes from my window and sees how exhausted I am she says #let’s hope this works #because eventhough she’s the sleep fairy #it’s not foolproof because the kids just have to want to sleep at the end of the day #it helps me have grace for myself and the kids and removes the shame I feel on chaotic evenings #my friend told me I should tell the kids about this sleep fairy #but I don’t #for now she’s just mine #🧚‍♂️

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The Princess Diaries (2001) dir. Garry Marshall

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the smallest artist i listen to? probably the bird outside my window

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It’s the first of the moooooonth

Im wack for having a “CD1” lounge out outfit but actually the little joys 😂

#personal #🩸 #🌕 #mee

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#it’s my birthright to feel this #happy and free #🎶

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I was told by a distant (and I meant diiiistant) family member “wow that’s far from family” about my move to the Netherlands.

And I was so INCREDIBLY activated by that.

I got defensive really defensive as my first reaction.

I know I carry around feelings of insecurity despite how confident I am in my actions because I hear comments like that ALOT. “I could never live away from family. Why do you live so far from family. Family is everything to me. I believe family is important.” And from anyone and everyone. Family, friends, strangers. I believe all of those things too. I also have a different definition of family. I also don’t believe proximity to people I care about matters to me as an individual. I also understand everything people say is a direct reflection of what they know and feel inside and their small bubble of life, a projection. Not at all aimed at me and never personal. Still I feel shamed by the (mostly asleep) society I live in. As if I’m supposed to value “being closer to family” more than feeling where my soul just wants to be at any given moment.

It was easier when Jeff was in the military. Even though I absolutely loved being in Arizona - at least somehow it wasn’t “my fault” at least we still always dreamed of “ being home” and somehow our distance was so noble. And everyone in the military community also dreamed of home.

But no, now these are very conscious choices we are making. Very much on purpose. And after so much wrestling I’ve realized every single con to living away from family is not even an ounce worth every pro I see for myself.

Here I am explaining myself. As if I owe anyone an explanation for why my soul feels as it does. For why I actually don’t feel sad about my lack of proximity to family. For why I would consider places with no family my home.

I think of my kids. And I would want them to stretch their wings as far as it could take them and soar. Whatever that means and however that looks. And to give two shits about what anyone thinks and just follow their soul, divine purpose because it’s the only way. The only way to support the collective is to wake up from this trance and do what YOU are meant to do for this planet.

Ugh. All because of one silly comment I hear all the time from people who- either are asleep, or it’s their divine calling and purpose to be physically close to familial or deep connections.

Sigh. These feelings too shall pass. I suppose it was just a full moon . And in Scorpio. And I’m practically all water.

And, this is just what happens as humans, society pulls us with her illusions and then I have to remind myself my truth.

Carry on if you made it this far. Follow your souls purpose ❤️

#personal #this is probably my biggest pain point

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