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poteitopotat Ā· 7 days
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THANK YOU BUGGA ILY
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ā€œthank you buggaā€ we all chant in unison @buggachat
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poteitopotat Ā· 9 days
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why does the third property brother dress like heā€™s in an episode of supernatural šŸ˜­
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poteitopotat Ā· 14 days
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Itā€™s so funny to me how Heather Duke had to create a fake story to undermine Veronica when she could have digged a little and found out that ohā€¦ she killed someone
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poteitopotat Ā· 16 days
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love love loooove my fanfic time before bed
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poteitopotat Ā· 16 days
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my roman empire is that my family says I was a very loud and outgoing child and that at some age I ā€œwent quietā€ all of a sudden
idk buddy maybe it was the constant neglect by everyone, making me feel like my voice wasnā€™t heard, like everything I did was wrong and constantly comparing me to my sister
maybe it was *your* fault have you considered that?
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poteitopotat Ā· 16 days
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is she pregante?
is she pregunta?
is she embarrassed?
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poteitopotat Ā· 16 days
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I yearn for a pocket watch so I just keep my wrist watch in my pocket
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poteitopotat Ā· 18 days
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Iconic Items from Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
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poteitopotat Ā· 20 days
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bring back media literacy šŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļø
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poteitopotat Ā· 20 days
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I am 90% impulsive thoughts and 10% miraculous fanfics
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poteitopotat Ā· 21 days
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didnā€™t think I had to say this butā€¦ zionists dni
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poteitopotat Ā· 22 days
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no way thatā€™s the one I was reading too omg
last night I stayed up til 2am reading a ml fic and I have no regrets
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poteitopotat Ā· 23 days
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Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word ā€œburritoā€ to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and Iā€™m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
Youā€™re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burritoā€™s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise.Ā That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you donā€™t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans canā€™t usually dislocate their jaws, and Iā€™m not a fucking pelican. But you must think thatā€™s how itā€™s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably canā€™t guessĀ anything, because Iā€™m pretty sure youā€™re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, hereā€™s what:
Humans also donā€™t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS Iā€™LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS ITā€™S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG Iā€™M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE ITā€™S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And donā€™t even fucking think Iā€™m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THATā€™S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THATā€™S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
Whatā€™s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DONā€™T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DONā€™T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
Youā€™re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID ā€œJUST EAT IT WITH A FORKā€:
A fuckingĀ fork?
I DIDNā€™T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
Thatā€™s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKERā€™S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. Theyā€™re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I havenā€™t cried since I was six, but Iā€™m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)
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poteitopotat Ā· 24 days
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The boop is gone... pain... misery... darkness
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poteitopotat Ā· 24 days
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Iā€™m so sad, I miss booping
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poteitopotat Ā· 24 days
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YES
Ok now we have a booping feature I propose to tumblr next ides of March we have a stabbing counter and the person with the most stabs gets crowned Caesar and the blog with the most stabbings gets crowned Brutus
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poteitopotat Ā· 24 days
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Reblog this and I will give you five boops bc I'm a boopslut.
I am so confident this will get very few rb's
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