radfemnotfemme

[radfemnotfemme]

"I'm tired of women being painted as just pretty"

[radfemnotfemme]

Two men hit on lesbians and get mad that they don’t reciprocate back, then proceed to shoot the music venue up.

How are we supposed to feel safe?

When the pulse shooting happened in 2016, I was only 12 years old. I still remember watching the news of what had happened at my grandmas house while she was watching me for the day. I was filled with fear. I didn’t know that so much hate existed towards gay people and this was my first time ever witnessing it. My family was pretty accepting of gay people, and so was everyone else I knew. It was the first time I realized that there were people out there who hated me enough to kill me.

I was only 12, but I vowed to myself then that I’d never go to a gay club or event, and I still haven’t to this day (due to a mix of fear and general laziness)

It’s just a bitter reminder that these spaces will never be truly safe. My mind will wander every time I step foot into one of those organizations about the possible threats.

#lesbian #rad fem #radical feminism #radblr #female separatism #terfblr #terfsafe #gender critical #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical lesbian

[radfemnotfemme]

Males are filthy animals.

[radfemnotfemme]

heard u added a trans mod to cisbians is this true??? why?

basically i just didn’t know they were trans😭 i still don’t know since they(?) keep denying being trans but i just banned them from the sub and went about my day, not worth the stress. i don’t think the below story is really believable either frankly but 🤷‍♀️

#i rlly don’t know #they’re banned so #don’t worry abt it

[radfemnotfemme]

Of course I do not feel comfortable sharing a bathroom space with a male of any sort, but, it truly disgusts how so many people (conservative specifically) just write off trans people as nasty and evil right off the bat. Like, I disagree ideologically with so many people and first of all you don't see me immediately trying to convince people of my opinions and secondly I'm not going to blindly hate anyone unless there is a valid reason and being trans isn't a good enough reason to hate somebody. It just bothers me how so few people choose to look at strangers with compassion over contempt. I have trans people in my family and in some of my social circles and while I think a lot of things they say is silly or just flat out untrue it's never made me wish to treat them with any less dignity, same as extremely religious people. Just another reason why the "evil terf" label is annoying...like, I'm nothing like the far rights spitting insults and slurs. I am a very critical and I hope scientifically analytical person when it comes to just about everything in life and I hate being lumped in with people so cruel and unfeeling towards others.

#agree

[radfemnotfemme]

Hi! I see you're a radblr and a lesbian, which is great, because I'm trying to understand something but I feel like I'm biased (I'm hetero) and can't see the lesbian perspective properly. I'd like to ask this to my irl lesbian friend but I'm too afraid of sounding rude. I hope you can help me understand better!

So. Let's forget about personality (which is the most important thing for sure) for a second and let's talk about physical attraction only. Lesbians like women. Lesbians do not like men. So it's reasonable to assume they are attracted to the female body characteristics which differ from the male body (like breasts, large hips, female genitals, etc) just like hetero men are. Ideally, the more feminine the trait, the more attractive it should be, right?

So, why are many lesbians attracted to the 'butch' type? From my (biased) perspective, butches are like tomboys, so they seem to want to appear less traditionally feminine (example: short hair - not a male characteristic per se, but it is associated to men because most men have short hair; we could discuss this theoretically, but the social bias is undeniable and no one can escape it). Butches share many characteristics (like style, mannerism, etc) with men, to which lesbians should not attracted. But this is disproven by evidence, since many lesbians like butches! Help. I'm terribly confused.

Hi there, thanks for the question! You mentioned that you understand that lesbians are attracted to female body characteristics (such as breasts, wider hips, female genitals.) A woman has these female characteristics regardless if they’re butch or femme. Butch women may be masculine on the outside appearance or through personality, but at the end of the day they have female sex traits that those who are only attracted to males would not find attractive in any capacity. Butches may try to “hide” these bodily female characteristics, but when in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone you’re going to see what their body actually looks like. Short answer is: butches are females, men are males. It’s entirely possible to be attracted to masculinity but find male sex traits (such as no breasts, deep voice, beards, or penis) revolting or not attractive. Straight women who are attracted to feminine men are not homoSEXuals because of this, just as a lesbian isn’t heteroSEXual for liking butches. Same stuff for masculine gay men who attracted to feminine gay men.

You said “Ideally the more feminine the trait, the more attractive it should be?” which I disagree with. Femininity and female have no correlation at its core, as one is of a biological basis and the other is of a societal basis (though they tend to align, I believe masculinity is the natural state of all people anyways and girls are socialized to be very feminine.) ‘The more female a trait, the more attractive it should be to a lesbian’ is a better phrase, but femaleness comes in all sorts of appearance so it doesn’t really indicate anything or make much sense. You brought up short hair as an example of the similarities between men & butches, which i will agree on, but once again, this doesn’t erase the simple biological difference between a man and a butch. I actually happen to be a butch in a relationship with a femme, so i’m going to offer both my viewpoint, and hers:

As a butch who’s generally only attracted to femmes, I used to not be attracted to masculine women or butches. I still am not for the most part. It took a lot of unpacking internalized homophobia & heteronormative social standards for me to understand why. Everyone is raised to believe that the masculine belongs with the feminine as a child, and gay children are not exceptions to this. I think it’s been ingrained in me since a child that the type of person I should be attracted to is a feminine person. I’ve known since childhood that I was not feminine in the way my female peers were, as I’ve always been pretty masculine. When in elementary and early middle school, the boys I “liked” have all turned out to be feminine gay men (lol.) I never really was attracted to these boys of course, but I was attracted to femininity in females and it was the best I thought I could get. I thought that since I had to be with a boy, I would logically just be with a feminine one. When I understood that being lesbian was an option, I never looked back. It’s hard for me to unpack that me being attracted to a masculine woman isn’t me being attracted to a man, and I know this subconsciously is why I say i’m not attracted to butches much at all. I could possibly be attracted to a butch, but i think socialization has its claws gripped into me (and also just a mix of the fact that femininity is my personal preference in a lady.)

I asked my femme girlfriend her thoughts on this, and this is a summarized version of what she had to say (she thought I was asking about myself):

“[A butch] may be mistaken for a man, or be read as a man at first glance, but when you take a closer look it’s undeniable that you’re a woman. Your eyes are beautiful and feminine, you have a gorgeous feminine body & chest. Your hands are soft, small, & delicate (and no i’m not trying to poke fun at your insecurity i’m being serious) When you smile it’s even more obvious that you’re a woman. I am attracted to your masculinity of course, I love that you have muscles, the way you dress, [redacted personal hobbies], your short hair, how in control/dominant you are. I also love your curves, your soft voice, and smooth skin. & you don’t have the personality of a man, you just pick up hobbies and mannerisms most women are afraid will make them appear “manly.” You actually convinced me to start doing [redacted personal hobby] that i never even considered before because I thought of it as something that boys or men do and now I really enjoy it.”

Sorry if this is a bit of a word vomit or not comprehendible, but i wanted to explain as best as I could lol

#rad fem #radical feminism #radblr #female separatism #terfblr #terfsafe #gender critical #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical lesbian

[radfemnotfemme]

Radblr Poll!

#rad fem #radical feminism #radblr #female separatism #terfblr #terfsafe #gender critical #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical lesbian

[radfemnotfemme]

lawful good was a surprise

I'm so curious what radblr's alignments are, I think it would be pretty fun lmao

[radfemnotfemme]

Hello radblr!

I thought it would be fun to make a blog exclusively dedicated to polls.

If you are interested, follow me! You can send me submissions, anonymous or not, through my asks.

Thanks!

(extra thanks if you reblog!)

Tags I use:

Meta → anything (poll or not) regarding this blog. For example, questions on how it should be run.

Off topic → polls that aren't related to radical feminism. I'll ask you gyns about this soon, just in case most of you would prefer not to include these.

[radfemnotfemme]

Women were never created from men's ribs, not ever. It is HE who emerges from HER womb. Framing the father as the life giver is a patriarchal lie, it's not true.

[radfemnotfemme]

Thinking about Maria MacLachlan's (PeakTrans) latest video and how she excellently described the process of a feminist left-wing women (like JK Rowling) becoming critical of the trans movement.

At first, you are basically in what she called a 'blissful ignorance'. Your opinion of the trans movement is "live and let others live". Then you start to notice little things that are just plain wrong, like men stealing trophies from women and lesbians being told they are not allowed to tell on a dating app that they are into females only.

So you decide to voice your opinion. You say something like, "I have nothing against trans people who just want to live their lives, but i find this [particular thing] harmful and unfair". You are assuming and fully expecting in your blissful ignorance, nothing more from it. Maybe a bit of debate, but mostly understanding since all these points you made are good points after all, and this is the self-proclaimed feminist LGB+ "be kind" brigade so the rights of women and gay people should matter, right?

Instead, you receive abuse. Not just any abuse, but misogynistic abuse, threats, doxxing, lies, twisting your words, and attempts to make you lose your lifelihood.

First, you are shocked, but then you start to feel angry. Angry and betrayed. You start to wonder how many others like you have been shut out and silenced by trans activists. You may start by looking up "that one woman" who you think was not entirely treated fairly, but you had earlier decided to accept the trans activists' version that she is just "a bigot".

You find out that despite trans activists vehemently claiming some things never happen, they do happen. They just willfully ignore them. You find out people criticising trans movement are feminists, LGB people, concerned parents, medical experts, and even trans people themselves. Trans activists just lie when they claim they are far-righters and conservatives. You find out they do not want trans people dead. It is the trans activists who send them death threats and show up to their events to "punch terfs".

And you become angrier, so you decide you will not be silenced. You decide to talk more and raise more awareness. The more you criticise and the more you share, the more abuse trans activists send to you. And the angrier you become.

Then the useful idiots see your anger and are convinced you are just a hater that should not be listened to. Why else would you be so angry?

[radfemnotfemme]

[radfemnotfemme]

what do u have against french women :[

everything

[radfemnotfemme]

is /r/cisbians accepting new members

yes! shoot me a dm on my reddit account u/General-Dig9871 or u can send me a message on here

[radfemnotfemme]

I feel like we need to start really pushing for hate crimes against women to actually be treated as such. It's fucking insane that a man can beat/rape/murder a woman, call her sexist slurs during the attack, and then tell the police and press that he did it because he hates women, but somehow this isn't considered a hate crime. The only reason places don't want to do it is because there's so many that it would mean like 90% of hate crime victims would be women (literally the reason the uk gave for not doing it a few years back)

It's extra crazy because wasn't it something like 80% of mass murderers have a history of harrasment and violence against women and girls? You would think it would be a no brainer to treat these crimes seriously to prevent these men from getting out and committing even more violent and horrific crimes, but that would mean treating women as people and not shock absorbers for society I guess.

[radfemnotfemme]

Men being demons

[radfemnotfemme]

Imagine admitting so openly that your only understanding of lesbians and lesbian culture is from terminally online TRA spaces and fetish forums