screaming-internally

[screaming-internally]

Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral

[screaming-internally]

EDDIE DIAZ + blep (pt. 1)

(for @queerbuck, from this post)

[Image ID: six square gifs of Eddie Diaz from multiple episodes of 9-1-1 where he’s making the “blep” face. His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip before retreating, usually when he’s nervous:

GIF 1: Eddie looking at Shannon in 2.07 after letting her in, shutting the front door.

GIF 2: Eddie leaning back in frustration as he tries to negotiate with the guy that stole the firetruck in 4.06.

GIF 3: Eddie standing behind May to help put up a photo of the influencer to track down her location in 5.15.

GIF 4: Eddie standing up from his chair to perch on the corner of his desk as he listens to May in 5.15, a crease of concentration between his brows as he crosses his arms over his chest.

GIF 5: Eddie leaning back against the kitchen counter in his parents’ house in 5.17, staring at his father.

GIF 6: Eddie standing in a line in the locker room with Hen, Chimney and Buck in 6.02, looking towards Hen as he waits for her answer about breakfast.

/end ID]

#911

[screaming-internally]

wait guys. reblog this and tell me what the last movie you watched was. bonus points if you add a short review <333

#no exit #actually I was surprised how good it was #I expected average thriller but it had good plot and kept the suspension and many plot twists that made kinda sense and overall good movie #I for sure had fun! even though I was surprised how much the main character survived for me she should die after all of it #and the main actress was amazing!

[screaming-internally]

is it thursday yet

#911

[screaming-internally]

buck’s version

#Eddie deserves love!! #even if that won’t be Buck #I want Eddie happy and loved #he liked to be married he’s a nester and I want what is best for him #everyone who says that want him to stay single why?! #if they would give him a person who he really would connect with and fell in love in normal no hurry time #(not like before ofc with his prev partners just someone right) #just for himself not for his son #I want him to be selfish like that

[screaming-internally]

i think i’m dying. you’re always dying.

eddie diaz as the martyrdom of saint sebastian

#911

[screaming-internally]

Eddie: How badly do you think she will react if we told her we accidentally got married? Buck: You wanna tell a bride that you not only lost her husband-to-be, but you're also upstaging her at her own wedding, be my guest. Eddie: We literally got married by a drunk Elvis impersonator and we high-fived and promised to be best friends for life instead of kissing. She will pity us more than anything. Buck: And then kill us anyway for losing Chimney Eddie: And then kill us anyway for losing Chimney

#911 #lol

[screaming-internally]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[screaming-internally]

Salvage by Hedgie Choi

#the passenger

[screaming-internally]

Nothing good comes from me making my own decisions. The one time I let myself react the way I wanted do, I ruined a person's life. So... yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm a waste of space. KYLE GALLNER as Benson & JOHNNY BERCHTOLD as Randy The Passenger (2023) dir. Carter Smith

#the passenger #ahdjfkfk! #everything in this moment the tender swipe of tears the hurt and understanding in Benson but the most hitting for me is #how accident from childhood fucked him up so badly #he literally stopped being in control of his life he just stopped making decisions cause he was scared he’ll hurt people around him #(it reminds me of that scene from Fleabag during confession) #to know that and have him at the end call the cops even though he knows it will highly end tragically for Benson #was just ahdjfkfk I don’t have words sorry

[screaming-internally]

#he said 'I can fix him'

THE PASSENGER (2023) dir. Carter Smith

#the passenger #he literally said I’ll fix you and he kinda did

[screaming-internally]

the passenger (2023) // ethel cain - western nights

[youtube link]

#the passenger #video

[screaming-internally]

The Passenger (2023) / Change (In the House of Flies), Deftones.

#the passenger

[screaming-internally]

The Passenger (2023) / Noor Unnahar, A Questionnaire / Marguerite Duras, The Lover / Richey Edwards / Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? / James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room / Chris Abani, Dog Woman / Anna Akhmatova, The Sentence

#the passenger #words

[screaming-internally]

gee, what a lovely burger joint! they sure do love their color theo- *GUNSHOT*

#the passenger #that made me laugh I’m sorry

[screaming-internally]

god. smth about the way benson is like 'wonder where we'll be in the next 7 hours' and then proceeds to drive the same roads over and over and over. smth about how after each outburst, he asks randy to just forget about the whole thing, so they can later return to the same place and pretend it didnt happen. smth about forgive and forget repeated as a mantra because its the only way you can survive in an environment you cant leave until one day you wake up and realize you couldve left, you couldve left long ago, you can count exactly how long its been since you couldve left. but you havent. and you havent forgotten and you havent forgiven. but youre still here. smth about an anger that kicked in too late, a burning righteous stubborn fury that keeps you in place, waiting on the defense for an attack that happened long ago, never moving to actually heal the wound. smth about fight or flight, fawn and freeze. smth about a bird flying around in a cage even after the latch is opened.

yeah i liked The Passenger (2023), why do you ask

#the passenger #I’m so normal about this movie

[screaming-internally]

The palpable excitement benson shows on the drive to the diner after leaving burgers burgers burgers doesnt read as a gleeful reaction to his crimes but more like the cheerful relief that can sometimes manifest itself before someone commits suicide. I really do think benson knew as soon as he started smoking his cigarette and untucking his work shirt what was going to happen and he had already made the decision of how things would go. He knew where it would end, though maybe not how long exactly it would last or the circumstances, but i think he knew it would eventually end up with him dead. He had accepted his fate before even shooting Chris, Jess, and Hardy. That’s also why instead of driving straight out of town when he had several opportunities to do so, he instead drove in circles waiting for the clock to run out. Yes, he wanted to help Randy and “fix” him but i also think he used that as an excuse to kill time before things reached their inevitable conclusion.

However, i also think there’s a chance that sometime between the school and him leaving Ms. Beard’s bathroom he might have reconsidered some things but Ms. Beard realising his connection to Shepard’s death upended any possibility of an attempt to get away from the town. I think that’s why he seems particularly aggravated about Ms. Beard and then Marsha, etc. i think he had changed his mind and thought it might be worth running but then everything collapsed in on them right as he was making further plans to elongate his time with Randy. He then had to accept his fate once again after having already done so that morning and then changing his mind sometime during the day. Him mentioning “moving to the city” or whatever he said wasn’t him just bullshitting. I think he had started to really believe he might be able to escape after “fixing” Randy.

#the passenger #YES!!! #this person gets it!