scrubsandarmchairs

[scrubsandarmchairs]

perkypeds​:

@traumasstart​

arizona more or less threw her scrub cap on the floor after she’d lost yet another patient, the second that day. she sat on the bench in the locker room and huffed, she sometimes wondered why she still did this job. “ i really don’t want to talk about it. ” she mumbled as someone approached on her left.

Kathleen’s eyes watched as the scrub cap slid across the floor. Surgeons. She rolled her eyes before they made their way back to Arizona. So dramatic. “Well isn’t it good that I don’t really want to talk to you either Colorado.” Which is why she was standing firmly on the other side of the room, not taking any steps towards the other doctor. “I was just wondering if you knew where Cormac is? Perhaps he had to come in and fix what I assume was a massive mess you made?”

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; arizona + kathleen ||

[scrubsandarmchairs]

bleedsneuro​:

Again, the sisters eyes rolled as Kathleen’s hand seemed to grow protective over the baby inside her stomach. What an idiot. “Can you chill out and stop acting like I’d stoop as low as kidnapping your kid from the womb or something? How dramatic can you get?” Did that sting a little? That her sisters wouldn’t even want her around their kids? Maybe in the slightest but she wasn’t going to let that show. Of course she knew why they hated her but what the sisters didn’t realize was that Amelia hated herself as well. Deep down, there was some part of her that knew that being this way had probably torn her family apart a lot more than just losing their father had. Apologies would fall on deaf ears, that much she knew so what even was the point. “I’m doing great actually, ask anyone. Thanks for your vote of confidence by the way, how sweet.”

“I don’t know, you hear stories about these women all the time who just steal other peoples children. Then again you’d have to be pretty mentally unstable to do that...oh wait...” Kathleen had been diagnosing Amelia with disorders long before she’d been licensed to give anybody medical advice, however even she was aware that her sister wasn’t going to harm her unborn baby. Not purposely. Her other children, and this one once it was out in the world rather than safely nestled inside her, she wasn’t so sure about. “Everything you touch turns to crap. Explain why I would ever allow the only people in the world I love any contact with you.” It was harsh, but for years she’d accused everybody else of being too soft with Amelia, enabling her bad and sometimes downright dangerous behaviour by downplaying it. She wasn’t about to be part of that machine. “For now.” She was more aware than anybody that addicts were always addicts, that it took an amazing amount of willpower to stay in recovery. An amount she didn’t believe Amelia had. “You’ve given me nothing to be confident in Amelia. Ever. I don’t bet on losing horses, I’m not stupid.” 

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; amelia + kathleen || #pregnancy tw #addiction tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

marksloan-plastics-xoxo​:

Mark had been walking through the hall when he heard a familiar voice, making him stop dead in his tracks. It was a voice that he used to hear a lot, but hadn’t heard much in more recent years. Still, he would recognize that voice anywhere. “Kathleen?” he stated, turning on his heel to walk back to where the brunette beauty was standing. “My gosh, look at you,” he stated, surprised to see her large belly. H knew that it was rude to stare or to ask about it, so he bit his tongue, trailing his eyes back up to her face. “Still beautiful as ever,” he grinned, opening his arms for a hug. Mark looked over her shoulder, eyeing briefly what she was looking at. “What doesn’t make sense? Maybe I can help,” he offered, snapping his eyes back to hers. He didn’t want to look too long at what was on the screen, in case she didn’t want his help or in case the information on the screen was private.

Kathleen’s eyes widened as she heard a familiar voice of her own, only stopping her head from shooting up in shock by a few seconds. No, no, no. She did not need Mark’s help right now. She didn’t need anybody’s help, ever. Certainly not to do her job. Sure, the results were confusing but it wasn’t as if she was reading them wrong. He couldn’t help...unless he could. But she wasn’t going to even consider that possibility. Perhaps she still had time to hide? Except that it was clear he’d recognised her, and she wasn’t sure that she could pull off that she hadn’t heard him. Particularly not while he was standing right in front of her. “Mark,” She said with a sharp nod, although she hadn’t been able to hold back the hint of affection in her greeting. She rolled her eyes as she watched his land on her stomach, although she’d allow him some grace. After all, it was getting harder and harder to miss. “Yeah, the third trimester glow has really kicked in.” Her face had filled out slightly as her body had grown, and although most days she didn’t feel it, she’d had plenty of patients telling her that pregnancy suited her. She was happy it did, was grateful for this pregnancy that had been easier in every other way than her last. Still, she was hoping their little girl would make appearance sooner rather than later. She shook her head as she pulled back from the hug, which she’d never admit that she’d rather been enjoying. “Oh no, it’s just a tox report,” She refuted, her eyes glancing back over the troubling data, “Just not seeing what I was expecting to.”

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; mark + kathleen || #pregnancy tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

open starter @traumasstart​

Kathleen had always been an internal thinker, an internal person all together actually. Despite her chosen profession, her encouraging her patients and anybody else who listened to talk about their problems, she’d always dealt with them herself. She’d process everything inside, even if she knew that it only led to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Probably because she hadn’t went to therapy. Do as I say not as I do. However, this wasn’t a big personal problem. Not something she had to keep to herself, work out how to deal with it and then probably fail at doing so. It was just a tox screen that was confusing her. Still, the muttering out loud was uncharacteristic. “This doesn’t make sense,” She said quietly, without even meaning to, but clear enough to be heard.

#traumastart #kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk

[scrubsandarmchairs]

bleedsneuro​:

These two, much like a ticking time-bomb. Why Amelia ever engaged with Kathleen especially was beyond her. of course the Amelia on the wagon, so to speak, would be hurt by the hatred from her family, but this Amelia? Yeah, that wasn’t in the cards for her. Glancing over at her sisters rather.. in the way baby bump, the smallest of smiles crossing her features. If anything, Amelia was good with kids, she could be a good aunt, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.. and with that, her smile slipped again. “Right, the kid. Congrats or whatever.” Hardened was she again but soon, the youngest Shepherd found her eyes rolling. “Kathleen, get some new material, maybe, that one’s a little old.” And with that she stepped forward, purposely blocking off her sisters path to counter although she didn’t need to. Total youngest child syndrome. 

If Kathleen were ever to be truly honest with herself she would find that there was a possibly that the reason she and Amelia butted heads so much could be that they were two sides of one coin. But she would never allow herself to consider it, even just inwardly. No, instead she fell back onto all her good and solid reasons for terrorising her sister; she was a screw up, she ruined the very rare times that the family was happy, she was unstable and she was so unreliable that it would forever be impossible to trust her. Good, solid reasons. Despite the smile on her sister’s lips, Kathleen’s previously soft graze turned into protective grip as she watched Amelia look at her bump. She wasn’t about to allow her sister to play Auntie of the Year, she hadn’t before and she wouldn’t now. This child, and her others, would be kept away from her youngest sister at all costs. “Oh don’t worry, I have plenty more to choose from.” The advantage of Hurricane Amelia being a continuous storm, destroying everything in her path. Gave her more material than she could ever want. “A growing list, as usual, I’m sure.”

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; amelia + kathleen || #pregnancy tw #overdose tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

strengthbound​:

“Mm, thank goodness they have a doctor who cares so much and isn’t unstable herself.” She said gently, they were lucky but Marion couldn’t help but wonder if the other doctor wasn’t slightly unstable herself if she was so concerned over chairs. “And that one’s too hard, that one’s too soft. You still have to choose a seat Goldilocks.”

If Kathleen had been smiling it would have been tighter in that moment, but thankfully this was not one of those rare times. Marion was becoming quite well acquainted with her usual disapproving glare. However stable would be a stretch for any Shepherd, even if she considered herself to be the closest of any of them. “Goldilocks?” She didn’t think so, “Even the three bears would know not to mess with me.” It seemed as though the other woman wasn’t quite as smart. Or perhaps she was just braver.

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; marion + kathleen ||

[scrubsandarmchairs]

canyouholdme​:

Cormac was half asleep taking a break after a long graveyard shift with multiple surgeries scheduled during what felt like the walking dead hours with the sub-in staff and residents who weren’t all too thrilled about being there during those hours either, but he mustered up enough energy to chuckle at Kathleen’s comments about the fact that she shouldn’t be at work - something that he reminded her of when they hit the second half of her third trimester, but Kathleen had a mind of her own. “You know, this is what they meant when they said you should be taking it easy as you get close to your due date, love..” he mumbled, eyes still closed as he instinctively wrapped an arm around her. “We both know you’re here to prove a point, but everyone knows that you’re the best there is and that no substitute psychiatrist could ever really replace you if you took some time off,” 

“I’m surprised you can still get your arms round me,” Kathleen muttered, her eyes glancing down to the hands that now rested on her body before diverting them back to her boyfriend. She scrunched her nose up slightly, clearly not pleased that Cormac had dared to give any implication of an i told you so. “This is your fault you know. It’s your baby that’s making me huge and tired and uncomfortable.” Conveniently she might have been ignoring her own part in their baby. However, she was clearly paying for. If you asked her the father was getting off far too easy - even if he was the primary ear that she complained to. “Well they’ll have to find one soon,” She reasoned, her voice dipping lower as she quietly promised, “Because I will take time off once Orla is here.” No matter what the interns whispered bets about how many hours after childbirth she’d be stalking the halls again might lead one to believe. Quickly she was shaking her head, lips pursed and head tilted so she could look at her boyfriend, hoping his own tiredness wouldn’t cloud his judgement on her most recent name choice. “I don’t like it, it doesn’t sound like it’s her name. Besides Liam and Austin don’t have Irish names, neither do the triplets. I think she’d sound out of place.” She’d been doing it for weeks, slipping random names into their conversations about the baby to see if she’d find one that would fit. So far no luck.

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; cormac + kathleen || #pregnancy tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

closed starter for @canyouholdme​

“It should be illegal,” Kathleen grumbled, a sigh slipping out of her mouth as she rolled her head back. She was sore, and felt huge - and if even one more of her well-meaning patients said something that implied as much she was going to lose it mid-session. She allowed herself to lay down, twisting herself into Cormac’s arms and burrowing herself into an embrace that she had been craving more than blood oranges all day. “It should be illegal for me to be on call right now. I mean look at me!” Of course it wasn’t all bad. By some miracle they’d been scheduled on the same shift, she was sure that Cormac had something to do with that coincidence though, and that meant that she could lie there with him, even just for a moment or two before one of them was paged. She’d prefer to be cuddling in their own bed of course, but the on-call room was better than nothing.

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; cormac + kathleen ||

[scrubsandarmchairs]

bleedsneuro​:

Disgust, it was hard not to feel it when her sisters were around, in fact it was all Amelia felt. Why they never seemed to try to understand her was truly beyond her but this morning she didn’t care to find out. “Try getting laid, Kath, it might do you a world of good. Seems you have an absolute stick up your ass.” Usually Amelia found herself backing down from the rest of the families judgements, but today? Well that truly seemed far fetched. “She means Decaf, please,” the youngest Shepherd spoke to the barista, eyes framing across her older sister. “I know you like yourself about as much as I like you, but you don’t have to be a vapid bitch.”

Disgust must have been a trait that ran through the Shepherd blood, similarly it was what Kathleen felt every time she was faced with one of her siblings. And the resentment, the superiority, the anger. It was a mixed bag. Particularly when it came to Amelia, who arguably triggered her complex feelings the most. “It’s Kathleen.” She didn’t do nicknames, not from Hurricane Amy. “And, not that it’s any of your business, but I’m just fine in that department,” She placed a soothing hand on her bump as if to emphasise her point. Not that she wanted to get into details about her personal life with anybody let alone her youngest sister. She rolled her eyes at the correction. “I hadn’t realised you were quite so keen on manners Amelia. Remind me, is it considered polite to OD on your mother’s bathroom floor?”

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; amelia + kathleen || #drugs tw #overdose tw #pregnancy tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

strengthbound​:

“Must have been very important cases to get you out in that state,” Marion said as if agreeing with Kathleen when she pointed out her bump and talked about the work she was doing. Marion did find it impressive if she was honestly, she could remember being far along with the girls and not wanting to do anything let alone work. But she still didn’t budge. “If this were the only seat available then yes I’d certainly give it up. But it isn’t, and as you said it is so very comfortable.”

“When you’re dealing with traumatised and unstable patients every case is important,” Kathleen argued, although she couldn’t help but secretly see Marion’s point. After all, if she could have chosen to lay in bed rather than crawling out of it and rolling into work she would have. Especially if she had known that she wasn’t even going to be afford the comfiest seat while she waited for her lunch mate. Of course she was cutting her nose off to spite her face, given that she was still standing as she gave her foot a tap. “That one’s lumpy,” She argued, her eyes drifting to the next closest seat. As though there were not more around them. 

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; marion + kathleen || #pregnancy tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

strengthbound​:

Marion gave the woman a slow look over before she turned to the rest of the room, seeing other free seats and gave a nod. “Good to know your impending motherhood has not robbed you of all your sense but I’m sure you will see there are plenty of other chairs for you to use.” 

Kathleen’s head tilted to the side, eyes narrowing. Despite herself, she found that she was impressed. After all, Marion had only done what she would have in the same situation. Except that she wasn’t that big of a fan when the tables were turned on her. Sure she could have taken another seat, and perhaps somebody else would have, but she’d never been one to stray from a fight. That would only be giving up. “Well it’s nice to know where your priorities lie,” Her hand cradling her bump, defining the outline to highlight just how big it was growing. “I mean you’ve what? Strolled through the ER and done a couple of sutures that any old intern could do? Meanwhile I’ve been growing a human and managing to actually achieve something with my patients. But you know, take a seat. You’ve earned it.”

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; marion + kathleen || #pregnancy tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

closed starter for @drneuro​

“This better be good Derek.” No niceties. No warmth in her greeting. Honestly, not even truly a proper greeting for her big brother as Kathleen all but marched down the hall towards him. Her heels, which were killing her but she wasn’t about to admit that, clicked as she took each step closer. It wasn’t exactly news that she wasn’t a fan of the neuro ward, not when she had two siblings stalking the place, but her irritation seemed to be heightened. As she grew closer to her leave, both physically and figuratively, there were days that she was practically unbearable to work with. On those days she’s become snappier than usual and her temper was quick to flare, her glares holding for longer with her tired eyes and rumbling stomach. However, there was a chance that her brother could change all that, should whatever he called her for be worth it of course. “So come on,” She all but demanded, impatient now they were face-to-face, “Show me what you got.”

​

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; derek + kathleen || #pregnancy tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

strengthbound​:

@traumasstart​

The surgeon’s lounge was nearly always were Marion could be found during her shift if she wasn’t in the OR. Whilst she was still very new to the hospital she preferred not to wander and risk getting lost. That being said staying there did mean she was easy to find and she gave a small huff as someone cleared their throat next to her. “I’m the new trauma attending so unless you have a trauma surgery incoming please piss off I’m on lunch.”

By nature, Kathleen was a bully. Not in the cheesy sitcom way; she hadn’t spent her school years stealing lunch money. No, her childhood victims had been her siblings and in later life she’d gotten immense joy from cutting people down. Just to prove she could. To show she was better than them. A bully at heart. Which was exactly why she wasn’t one to be pushed over, instead always the one pushing. She simply raised an eyebrow at Marion’s hash request. “Actually I’m waiting for somebody,” She corrected, eyes narrowing as she took in the other woman, “And you’ve taken the comfiest seat in the room.” Which she thought went without saying, should rightfully go to her. She was dying for a moment to sit down.

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; marion + kathleen ||

[scrubsandarmchairs]

nubivagnts​:

“No Francesca, you can’t skip school, I don’t care if you don’t know anyone, you won’t know anyone if you don’t go…I’m working, go to school.” Nancy almost groaned as she hung up the call and she turned to lean on the nurses station as she opened Life360 to keep an eye on her daughter. “Kids, huh? No wonder I’m going gray.”

Kathleen was trying to relax. Trying being the operative word considering she hadn’t gotten a moment’s peace since she’d left the house that morning. The few patients she’d taken had been difficult, she’d had to reschedule an appointment because an emergency consult had came in and at that moment she was waiting on the discharge paperwork of a frequent flier so that she could simply sign the papers with the hopes that a warm bath would solve all her problems. Although of that she was doubtful. Just like she’d been doubtful from the beginning she’d actually be able to take her afternoon off in the first place. So no, the sound of her older sister’s voice was not exactly a comfort in that moment. “I wouldn’t know,” She retorted, fingers rubbing circles into her temples as she glance up at Nancy, “Some of our children are actually well behaved.” As thought it would somehow prove her point, she flipped her own dark hair over her shoulder. No greys in sight.

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; nancy + kathleen ||

[scrubsandarmchairs]

bleedsneuro​:

a pounding headache was starting behind the young neurosurgeons eyes, called in too early too sleep after a night of drinking, amelia was feeling like absolute shit. not to mention she was exhausted. the man whose bed she’d climbed out of that morning had been clingy and asked her not to leave more than once, just irritating her more than she had been the second she woke up. now, never the morning person even sober, the young shepherd tapped her fingers against the coffee cart of the hospital, her gaze drifting to the person beside her who seemed to have nothing better to do but stare. “ dude, i hear iphones take PICTURES now. why are you staring? ”

@traumasstart​

It had been a long time since Kathleen had suffered from any type of hangover - the tiny foot kicking against her ribs was reminding her that it felt as if it had been an eternity - but it had ​been even longer since she gotten herself in the state that Amelia seemed to be in. Perhaps college? She was sure the same couldn’t be said for her little sister. “You’re absolutely right,” She drawled, her tone cold and her glare harsh as she did nothing to hide the disgust she felt, “The little mess who never figured out how to grow up - a rare breed.” And with that, as if the younger Shepherd could be so easily dismissed, she turned her head slightly to face the cart. “Decaf.”

#kathleen ; cause it's been easier to fall than try to walk #|| c ; amelia + kathleen || #pregnancy tw #drinking tw

[scrubsandarmchairs]

╰ ❛ 💉 — › crystal reed. cisfemale. she/her. . ╯ have you met kathleen shepherd yet ? this thirty-seven old scorpio has been living in the seattle area for a year. she makes a living as a psychiatrist, which is best suited for their intuitive, independent, manipulative, and judgemental personality. empty house by billy lockett is one of their favorite songs

HISTORY

TW: Death, divorce and fertility issues

Kathleen Alice Shepherd is a middle child and just about everybody can tell.

After her dad died she often felt as though everybody in the family had a special bond with somebody, and she wasn’t anybody’s first choice.

She convinced herself she didn’t care, if her Derek and her sisters didn’t need her then she didn’t need them either. And so began Kate’s journey to prove that she was smarter, more successful, all round better than the rest of the Shepherds. And everybody else.

Selfishly, it’s kind of why she became a psychiatrist. Yes she’s interested in helping her patients, but knowing what’s wrong with everybody makes it really easy for her to point out their flaws. She might abuse her knowledge a little and diagnose people in her personal life.

As soon as college came around, she wasted no time getting out of the house. Pre-med and Med at Yale. That’s where she met Max Armstrong, and finally felt like she had somebody on her side. She was finally somebody’s favourite Shepherd. They were married just before moving to Boston so Kathleen could start her residency at Mass Gen.

They started trying to have a baby once their intern year was over. They figured it would happen in no time at all...they were very wrong.

They’d moved to DC, both having passed their boards and Kathleen new insistence that she didn’t want to stay at Mass Gen - she didn’t want to spend her days teaching, before it finally happen. It might have taken three rounds of IVF - kept painfully secret despite the OBGYN in her family - but triplets Mallory, Bridget and Clark were worth it.

Kathleen was perfectly happy in DC, with her siblings scattered around the country and reuniting only when the youngest needed another intervention. And then all of her siblings started flocking to Seattle.

Never one to be left out, or rather miss an opportunity to showcase that she is indeed the best Shepherd, she followed them. Even if it did mean that her days at the practice were interrupted by consults at SGMW.

There are many things that Kathleen expected from the move. Her marriage falling apart wasn’t one of them. However, given the shock revelation that Max had cheated - no matter how many moons ago - she wasn’t sure there was any other option.

But she’s learnt that not all surprises are bad ones. Like Cormac and the Hayes boys, or the very unexpected pregnancy that followed to complete their blended family family.

Almost ready to pop, she’s still determine to march around in her heels and boss around anybody she can until the moment the baby arrives.

PERSONALITY

Kathleen learnt very young to be independent. She was barely a toddler when Lizzie came along and Amelia was always a bit of handful, so Kate was more than used to looking after herself before she became a teenager.

Part of the reason Kathleen is good at her job is her natural intuition. She’s observant, and at the very worst nosy, which makes it easier for her read people. If only she didn’t use those skills to point out people’s flaws.

However that’s probably not possible with her judgemental nature, and definitely isn’t helped by the fact she’s prone to manipulation.

Due to feeling left out Kathleen can come off as a little cold and bitter, particularly around her siblings, but she does have a more caring side. She loves her children with all her heart, and the same can be said for her siblings...she just hides that one a little better under arrogance and casual diagnosis.

#traumaintro #death tw #divorce tw #infertility tw #| muse ; lately i've been using you to mess it all up |

[scrubsandarmchairs]

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