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Transitions 🚥 In your future's past life Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon

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elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

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#dude those look like waves #that’s so cool

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oh shit, it's 3/21/23, 32123, palindrome day

#weed palindrome

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Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

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lord the peasants are so loud today

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the little squinker got an enclosure upgrade

I will never be able to find her in there it’s got too many hiding places and boy does she like to tunnel

#hamster #hamsters #dwarf hamster #dwarf hamsters #cute #my pets #pets #serenity the hamster

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AMAZING ANIMALS BIOLOGY FUN FACTS

”Jesus Christ, what is that?”

”How is it alive?”

"What does it want?"

”Will it hurt me?”

”Will it hurt my children?”

It's only natural to ask questions like this when encountering such a disgusting creature, but rest assured- it's quite harmless!

Meet the hampter.

Hammers are Europe's largest species of insect. They are mostly found in plains, mountains, parking lots, underpasses, the savannah, landfills, trees, and shurbs. They are heavily endangered because they are too stupid to drink water if it's not in a water bottle manufactured for small animals. But evolution has produced a remarkable solution: a female hamper can lay thousands of eggs every day! Most of her young will die of dehydration, but the sheer numbers of hamspers makes it inevitable that at least some will find a water bottle and thus survive to sexual maturity.

Hapster biologist Dr. Lexapro Beaufort said in an interview, "I know of them. They like to sniff around in the dirt for seeds and grass and discarded cigarettes. They like to dig holes in the ground. They were not created by the same God that created everything else."

They can even be kept as pets! One proud hamser mommy had this to say. "Yeah, mine is named Keith and he fucking sucks. He just hides in a hole and only comes out when he hears me rattling my adderall prescription."

Wow! Truly the hater is the fascinating creature of planet earth.

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hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.

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Happy April Fools 2024

#love them #boop #april fool's day

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Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

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I’ll have you know that canned beans are a food with an incredibly long shelf life!! They last for years so long as the can is undamaged!!

WHO’S THE FOOL NOW???

I BEG TO DIFFER

BEANS

HAHAHAHA YOU FOOL

THE BEANS ARE MOLDY NOW

enjoy your moldy beans

MUAHAHAHAHAGAGAGA *cough* *cough*

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Fuck it

10 notes and I drink water everyday

20 notes and I eat 3 meals a day even if it means being late for school in the morning

50 notes and I take on of those gender test things to see if I’m non-binary

100 notes and I try and get at least 6 hours of sleep a night

200 notes and I start writing the fic again

500 notes and I’ll eat less unhealthy food

2000 notes and I’ll ask go on a walk every day

5000 notes and I’ll read homestuck

10,000 notes and I’ll start learning how to draw

15,000 notes and I’ll ask my mum if I can go to therapy (please no)

20,000 and I’ll ask my crush out (please no again)

Only three reblogs per person pls

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so this little lady is serenity

she’s a rescue from a rodent mill in quebec and her and her sisters came all the way to my house in southern ontario to be fostered and hopefully adopted out to loving families. her sisters all successfully found homes but the applications for serenity all fell through. honestly it breaks my heart that people decided not to adopt her just because she isn’t super snuggly or is “too old” (she’s only four months old by the way).

luckily though me and my parents were able to have another permanent resident hamster, so she’ll have a loving home for the rest of her life.

she’s come a long way since we first started fostering her and has gone from screaming and running whenever someone touched her to being a sweet squishy bean who loves to explore whenever I have her out.

I love this little weirdo with my whole heart

and yes she is SUCH a weirdo. I blame the fact that she’s from quebec. every once in while while you’re holding her she’ll give you a little nibble just to check if you’ve suddenly turned into a tasty snack. but then she won’t take food from your hands if you offer it to her. It has to be left in her house where she will eat it LATER when no one is looking. she’s so silly I love her.

#she’s SO FAT too #that’s why I call her squishy #hamster #dwarf hamster #cute #hamsters #dwarf hamsters #serenity the hamster #and yes she IS named after the ship from firefly if you were wondering #sci fi space ships was the naming theme with this lot #her sisters are milano infinity and dawn