shiraishi-kanade

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A lot of An's character arc revolves around other people because at her core she is lonely: alternatively, middle school An Shiraishi was not having that grand of a time and here's why.

An is by no means a person who's shunned by others or has no friends, she isn't lonely by conventional means, but she's lonely in a way that she couldn't find anyone to connect with after Nagi's passing.

Even then, there's a solid chance that that isolation has started before; we can see in An's past that it's not only An's dream alone but also her skill that makes her seem unreachable to others.

Because of who her family is and also because of who An is, she was shoved in this kind of unique position of "If anyone can do it, it's her." An was put on a pedestal by everyone around her. That is also the exact opposite of a situation that Akito (and consecutively Touya) have ended up in, who started our being rejected and pushed down.

Teaming up with An on her terms would have meant admitting you have to meet her at her level. Whether An realized that or not, whether she knew the truth behind Rad Weekend or not, that was just what it was.

An is not prejudiced, though. She really just wanted a team who had the same dream she did. But other people raised the bar for being An's partner even if An herself didn't have any requirements other than having a serious dream.

But that is isolating. Going through that for two years is isolating. If try to find someone special for two years and fail because people either don't take you seriously at all or take you so seriously they can't think of themselves as being good enough for you, that will mess you up in one way or another.

(This also means An's partner was always fated to be someone outside of Vivid Street - someone who didn't know the intricacies and implications of teaming up with An and did that just because they wanted to. In a twisted and ironic way, it was always meant to be Kohane.)

That's why An is constantly walking on eggshells around Kohane. Kohane is her first shot at making a real connection and An wouldn't let go of it easily; but that's also why An keeps messing things up and having messy feelings about Kohane: she is her first try to build that kind of relationship.

This is also in part why she's so hesitant to confront those feelings head on; she doesn't think she's allowed to express them because she doesn't want to hurt Kohane, and because she's already been a bad partner and because she's afraid to lose her. It's a vicious cycle of her past being so lonely she desperately craves a connection but because she's been so lonely she doesn't want how to handle the challenges that inevitably come with that connection.

(It's also about how An thought she had a special connection with Nagi - and she did, but Nagi was an adult with her own issues and problems going on which she just couldn't share with An because their relationship was still that of a mentor and a student. Nagi knew she shouldn't, and didn't, burden An with her feelings. But lack of truly meaningful connection with someone her age affected An later in her life. Kohane is socially awkward on the surface, but An is socially awkward internally. With Kohane, she's experiencing a lot of new feelings she hasn't dealt with before, and she doesn't know how to deal with them. She's the most experienced singer out of the group... But she's the least experienced as far as human relationships go.)

In the end, the confrontation was inevitable from the very beginning, because An needs to start seeing Kohane as someone will agency and will and as someone who can handle An at her worst, too. The fear to lose Kohane and her team if she really expressed what she feels (and it won't be pretty) is holding her back. An doesn't have to always be a perfect partner; she needs to see and understand that Kohane will understand and never leave her even if she isn't.

#jay rambles.txt #jay's character analysis #project sekai #an shiraishi #pjsk #prsk #vivid bad squad

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#jay memes.png #project sekai #prsk #pjsk #mizuki akiyama #pjsk mizuki #puroseka

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I don't think this is funny for literally anyone but myself but unfortunately I've been allowed to keep existing on this website and so you all will have to deal with that

#project sekai #prsk #pjsk #an shiraishi #toya aoyagi #jay rambles.txt #jay's memes.png #if you get it you get it

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Can I... Can I request An & Kanade doing literally anything. Just existing within the same plane. They're my faves but they've literally never talked to each other and I need to cope 💔 thank you

I thought it would be interesting to have An sing to the acompaniament of piano

They DO need to meet though. Pls Sega. Grief mixed event featuring Kanade, An and Emu. Please....

The downside is that Kanade is going to melt...

#rb #others' art #sobbing and crying and /pos

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Me: Welp it's been over a week I'm obviously not getting my blog back! Sucks but oh well

Tumbrl staff: hey so about that

@the-one-that-weeps sorry I made you do all that work for nothing (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) but look at the positive side...?

#jay rambles.txt #well. now what? #I'm happy and grateful though but now I'm confused even more than I was before

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Hey there Tsukasa Tenma kinnies.

All of you out there that are waiting for Tsukasa to stop helping everyone and start helping himself. Don't you think you want Tsukasa to be taken care of because you never were? Because you've also been putting so much work into making others happy and never got your share? Because you feel like a burden unless you shine unconditionally? Because you're hurt?

Hey there Kanade Yoisaki kinnies.

All of you out there that are waiting for her to stop saving others and be saved herself. Don't you think you're waiting for that to happen because you were never saved from yourself either? Because you're aching for someone to care for you like you care for others? Because you're tired of being a wall to lean on and want to lean on someone yourself? Because you're tired?

#rb #that is a personal attack. i feel attacked /nsrs

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My hobby is scrolling through threatening music notations and making bad proseka memes

#jay rambles.txt #project sekai #prsk #pjsk #tsukasa tenma

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ressource thread !!

#rb

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I've looked through the cards and so far it appears that An is the only character to have WEG merch. It's also worth noting that all the cards where she does are relatively recent (around 3rd anniversary and onwards), so this actually might be a recent idea from Sega themselves. Hard to tell, but I hope we'll see more of this regardless. It's very cute.

Does anyone else constantly think about the fact that Weekend Garaga merch canonically exists in Project Sekai world or is it just me

#jay rambles.txt #project sekai #vivid bad squad

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I wonder how many new-ish Proseka players/famdom are aware of the fact that An2 was initially left without a song for 7 months after the event's JP release.

#jay rambles.txt #An fans we are so strong for that one

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Does anyone else constantly think about the fact that Weekend Garaga merch canonically exists in Project Sekai world or is it just me

#jay rambles.txt #project sekai #vivid bad squad #there is at the very least a phone case and two keychain options #that is aside from uniform - it would make sense to have a uniform family business or not #but merch is another thing #this is just what I remembered from the top of my head - and they're all An's #everyone's welcome to join the WEG merch hunt if you can find anything else though

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Me: hello doctor

Me: I am here to inform you that I am experiencing a Heart Disease, have a recorded diagnosing of having a Heart Disease, and have a written history of previously having an Illness that has a common complication of said Heart Disease. I am aware it is incurable but as of right now it's making my life that much more miserable

Me: can I please have something to manage my symptoms and monitor my condition

Her:

Her: well many young people are experiencing anxiety nowadays. Have you considered taking deep breaths?

Doctor appointment in about an hour. Wish me luck (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

#jay rambles about life.txt #SIGH #at least I had my hospital bubble tea I suppose #disability #idk if I should tag this will all the disability-related tags on tumbrl but the temptation is very high #this is the second time she dismissed me #it's funny how in minds of many doctors an incurable illness defaults to A Nuisance

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Doctor appointment in about an hour. Wish me luck (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

#jay rambles about life.txt #I've waited for this for over two months at this point it better be good #maybe I'll also grab some Hospital Bubble Tea while I'm there

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Good morning An Shiraishi fandom!

#man i was about to tag you in your own post 😭 #^ prev #aw that's actually so sweet! thanks

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What if I told you every fourth member of a unit is about connection and the third member (the one they fought with in the main story and... Ena) is about validation.

#other's character analysis #rb #oooooh.

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Good morning An Shiraishi fandom!

#jay rambles.txt #project sekai #prsk #an shiraishi #the last part is kind of a reach - I've only found one mention of it and I'm not good at flower language #but even outside of it I love what they went with delphinium for An - it's such a lovely flower and it suits her so well #the link ones on her 2023 card is bougainvillea but I have no clue as to what yellow ones are! #I managed to get a nap in today so yay for that

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I really want to talk about Taiga because I... Have a lot to say, but unfortunately in order to talk about Taiga I need to pull out So Many Screenshots in particular from Light Up the Fire episodes 6 and 7 and that event is soul-crushing no matter how many times you re-read it,

Woke up in the middle of the night & too in pain to go back to sleep. Need ideas to talk about proseka again I feel like... But on the other hand, my head's kind of too hazy to. Sigh

#jay rambles about life.txt #jay rambles.txt #I will talk about Taiga at some point I just need to brace myself for LUtF rewatch lmao