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apologies // 10.16.2019

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It keeps replaying in my head

My body physically hurts from remembering it

And i writhe when i think abt how he came back so we could be "friends"

You were almost out of my life but you wormed your way back in like a parasite

I was going to heal

And you got people to attack me

I never even named you

I still havent named you

I will never forget.

I will never forgive.

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i need to be clean

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anything i'd say would be a cliche.

"goodbye, i love you, i'm sorry i couldn't stay"

so words will fail to let you know

that i was tired, i had to go

to you

your hair and your words

wrapped me in happiness

we were short lived

but the time was precious

don't blame yourself

it was me

hope you'll move on soon

and stay and breathe

to them

you hurt me with your bitter words

each stare, the screams

now that i'm gone i hope you miss me

i'll visit you in dreams

don't blame yourself

it was all me

bad child bad child

i hope now you can breathe

to the evil

you made me the way i was

so vile and disgusting

i hope you lie awake at night

cause you were a bad thing

to friends

i loved you more than you realized

it's ok if you don't miss me

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it hurts more when i tell myself i dont deserve it. 

why would god do this to me what could i have done

#csa #cocsa #csa tw #trauma #depression #csa trauma

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this is going to kill me

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oh

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please do not rb if you are not trauma/csa/anything related to the tags! thank u

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so apparently the “bad vibes” I’ve been feeling are actually “severe psychological distress”

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Being a daughter is like *apologizes to your mother even though she's never apologized to you*

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