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humming-pokemon-helpers · 11 months

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omaitscobalion.ogg

[It's a dimly lit video. One can barely make out the glowing red ends of Vanilla's hair and the glowing golden eyes and glint of the horns of the legendary Pokémon Cobalion, filmed from a several-foot distance, standing on a stone platform within a cave. Only Vanilla's voice is comprehensible.]

"...So. I was called here... repeatedly... in my dreams... and given this sword here... for a reason, I presume, O Mighty Cobalion?"

"Kawbraaaaa!"

"En gar--huh?"

Clang!

[Cobalion charges forward, sword of blue light piercing forth from its head. Vanilla, caught off guard, barely manages to remove the poignard from his hip to parry the attack. Despite this fact, Vanilla is pushed back a good distance, skidding to their knees before coming to a stop.]

"Y-you... ngh... this is a test...?"

[Vanilla stumbles, disoriented, to their feet. Aware she needs to move fast, she stumbles to her feet, gripping her blade with a focused expression as her own spectral energy sets it ablaze. Though nowhere near graceful, Vanilla charges forward with the crimson blade, dodges under the bulk of Cobalion's mass, and manages to slice at the beast with their blade's sheer energy.]

"Kabaaaahn..."

[Cobalion's body seizes up at the slash, and its legs buckle under it for a brief moment. Paralysis. It backs off and shakes its head at Vanilla. The battle is done.]

"Thank Arceus I wasn't bothered to clean that blade from a few days ago... You satisfied, now? Can we talk like grown adults? Because I would like that."

"Bahln." Its face looks bitter.

Vanilla shrugs, unapologetically. "I refuse to believe you didn't do your homework when picking me, of all people, to come out here. You're lucky you're even getting me to play your game at all. Playing it fairly? Good luck. Besides, isn't this what you're looking for?"

"Kawrbaaan." A stern reproach.

"Hey, I'm not your kid. Though, I do have a friend who'd really like him to stop messing with their territory in the Crown Tundra."

"Keld?"

"Yes, Keldeo. Arc. Not even keeping track of your kid... But, I guess it can't be helped. Anyways, you caught me pretty off guard there at the start. Guess I'm rusty now. Which I'll have you know I really don't mind."

[Vanilla digs in his bag for a Parlyz Heal, before stepping up to Cobalion's personal space again.]

"Can I?"

"Braww..."

[Cobalion reluctantly bears its injured belly, fluff slick from the blade's impact.]

"Eh, nobody expects the paralytic-sword trick. Which was honestly an accident on my end."

Vanilla examines the wound further. "...Also, you're definitely faking being more injured than you are. I barely left a scratch on you with that one. Even with the type advantage. Stop trying to boost my ego here. I'm not looking for strength, or power, or whatever."

"Coh...."

"Then why am I here to accept? First off, very presumptive, how dare you. I would absolutely come here to tell you to screw off too. Second, I'm here to accept because you're right. There's always going to be cowards who treat us like tools for their own gain. Destroy our lands. Devalue our lives. And you know, I'm sick of seeing enough people insist that it's us that need to adapt to them.

But. If I'm going to take your mantle. I'm not here to fight some blanket war on humanity. I'm not here to wreak some ages-old vengeance. Or start the world anew, or kill all of the bad ones or something. I just want to help people and Pokémon heal. And stop them from hurting in the first place. Are we clear?"

"Balt."

Vanilla sighs in relief. "Haaa, so that is what you wanted to hear. Good. Glad to hear you're not as... malicious... as the rumors suggested. Though, then again, shouldn't be surprised with some humans~. Never admitting their faults..."

"Cobal kawn."

"Right, right. So what, do I get some fancy knighting, or...?"

[Cobalion gestures with its head to the ground, where Vanilla kneels in a display of humility.]

"Still got a lot to learn, but... I'm in your care, ok? You know my limits. I wouldn't push them. They're still fragile, y'know?"

[Cobalion bows its head, extending its own Sacred Sword to Vanilla. In return, Vanilla crosses their own poignard, imbued with energy from Secret Sword. The blades grow deeper in intensity, and then, suddenly, the energy reverses course straight towards Vanilla!]

"K-khh..."

[Vanilla's base stats were boosted! But...]

"I feel like... all of my muscles got blown out at once... nnn..." He wobbles on his knees. "Everything's kind of hazy, too... my ears... so loud... can I just... sleep here...?"

"...Rion." The beastly legendary curls up next to Vanilla, who collapses thoughtlessly into its side, gripping at its fur.

At this point, the camera can finally be heard speaking up. "v-vanilla! hey! vanilla! this cave isn't, p-pzzt... a good place to rest! w-what about what you told everyone, pzzt... they're gonna worry!"

"mmmh, just tell them... it hurts but I just need sleep... can't move..."

"t-that's going to worry them even more, pzzt!"

"it'sh fine... better than nuffing..."

"oh, spark plugs, fine! i-i'll do it! let me go get service, pzzt..."

[End of video feed.]

#pzzt! uploaded by cross!#i'm glad she's safe pzzt...#pokeblogging #pkmn irl #a spirit of justice

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