#“what knowledge” you know what i like more than KNOWLEDGE. this uh. new lamborghini here

[mirroroftheworld]

Here in my graaaaaaaaage, just bought this, uh, new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Hollywood Hills. but you know what i like a lot more than Knowledge, this uh, new lamborghini here. but you know what i like more than this new lamborghini here? my TedX talk where i talk about this new lamborghini here

[gender-euphowrya]

do y’all remember the guy from that “here in my garage” video

#just bought this uh #new lamborghini here #it's fun to drive up here in the hollywood hills #but you know what i like more than this new lamborghini ? #KNOWLEDGE #in fact #i have 12 bookshelves #or something dfjkghdf i can't remember the rest holy shit #it was some dude explaining how You Too can become a successful rich lamborghini-driving man if you just follow his pyramid scheme #or read 1 book a day or something gfjhdk #god #i wonder what he's up to this day #does he still have the lamborghini #is he still here in his garage

[rabm]

*en voice* here in my graaaage just bought this uh new lamborghini here. fun to drive up here in the hollywood hills. but you know what i like a lot more than knowledge? this new lamborghini here. but you kn

[fucko]

Here in my garrrraaaaggeeee... just bought this uh, new Lamborghini here. Fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like a lot more than KNOWLEDGE? This uh, new Lamborghini here. But you know what I like a lot more than the new Lamborghini here? My TEDx talk where I talk about this new Lamborghini here. Uh uh UH uh u-u-u-u-u-h-h-h-h... In fact, I'm a lot more proud of these seven new Hollywood hills that I had to get installed hold 2,000 new Lamborghinis............. UH.............. It's like the Buffet Warren billionaire says, 'The more you earn, the more you DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS', in fact, the real reason I keep this Lamborghini here, is the real reason I keep this Lamborghini here, is that it's a reminder, a reminder that drears are still possible, because it wasn't that long ago that I was in a little Lamborghini sleepin' on book shelves in the Hollywood hills with only 47,000,000,000 dollars in my bank account, and only 47 Lamborghinis in my Lamborghini account, and only 47 hills in my Hollywood account, and only 47 TEDx talks where I talk about Warren Buffet in my TEDx talks where I talk about Warren Buffet account. But you know what? Something happened that changed my life. I bumped into a Lamborghini, and another Lamborghini. A few more Lamborghinis, I found five Lamborghinis. I don't call it money anymore, I call it fuel units. You must have enough fuel units. You must have enough Lamborghinis. You must construct additional pylons. I'll see you on my website, it's a quick video, and uh you'll see there absolutely NOTHING.

#oo

[docholligay]

A Dispute

Another release for my birthday week! This was commissioned by @katrani a while ago, for “Mamoru and Haruka have a disagreement about cars” and I took in all the holligay directions. I hope you enjoy! 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Haruka tried, poorly, to keep the disgust off her face, and then stopped trying at all. It was the worst kind of pomp, in her mind, when people talked about things they had no idea about, and even worse when others backed them for no reason.

And, she would reflect, if she were given to reflection, that she should have expected it--Mamoru was a rich kid, raised in society right alongside Michiru. In another world, they might have been meant as a match for each other. (On this last point Haruka did not dwell too deeply, as it always caused her to get angry at someone, and sometimes that someone was her.) For Haruka to challenge him directly at a party, where glasses clinked together, filled with bubbles, each one popping at the surface and shouting its exorbitant price tag into the sky, where she would only ever be on a tourist visa, and never be a real citizen, that was madness.

But sometimes, breeding aside, wrong was wrong, and Mamoru was intensely wrong about this, in the way that only a man raised with words and pedigree and no actual knowledge might be.

“Haruka.” The sweet tones of her wife’s voice floated into her ear, but Haruka could not hear them, vexed as she was by the misdeeds occurring at the table, the sound of a motor overwhelming everything else in her head.

“Based on what, your boner?!” It was not a thing she would normally have said at such a table, but the rough and beer-stained ones she shared with the guys from the garage. Good manners had, however, fled. “The only thing Lamborghini has going for it is the Transformers tie in. And not even I liked Age of Extinction. How could you pick that over something like McLaren, or Koenigsegg, which might be the actual winner, or even, hell, Saleen, if you want to go just for sheer balls to try. I mean, I guess, if Lamborghini’s all you ever heard of, then it makes sense. ”

Mamoru looked somewhere between insulted and personally distressed, Usagi at his side, staring into her cake. Haruka felt bad, for a moment. It would upset Usagi, to have them fight, and it would upset her more that Michiru’s parents would fall on her like starved dogs on a slice of ham any moment now. She was going to get Michiru into a fight and make Usagi cry, all in one night.

Haruka shrugged. “I mean the Gallardo Balboni does have that retro charm to it, I guess.”

Well done, Haruka.

“We, of course, apologize, Mamoru,” Michiru’s mother smiled her viper’s smile, “You can take a dog out of the junkyard, so they say.”

“Mother is simply confused that anyone could render passion for any subject that is not created on a runway in Milan,” Michiru gave a peal of her false laughter, playing to the crowd, “When we were there last, I scarce think she saw the sun.”

“Well, Michiru,” Her mother raised her glass, “We all have our vices, I suppose,” she smiled also to the table, who were watching the game of ping pong with a mixture of fear and delight, “Michiru has always been taken by charity, we simply never expected it to take her.” She laughed. “Haruka, you are very knowledgeable on the subject, I imagine spending your life on a oil-stained floor might do that. Now,” she nodded, “if you go for any higher subject, I assure you, you will find no such argument from her.”

“Oh and Mother, what could possibly be more edifying than discussion of your latest scarf acquisition? We are all so very riveted. That is one of the very pillars of a fine education: Music, Art, Literature, Silk Scarves.”

She laughed, in the way Haruka hated, the way the was more like a knife than anything resembling joy. It was her fault, again, that they were fighting, because Haruka couldn’t keep her mouth shut, but she could never keep her mouth shut.

She wanted to hit something, but she just kept it inside of her, and let it hit whatever it wanted there.

__

Mamoru shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wondering if there was any way to stop the battle in front of him. It gave him pause, not just for Haruka’s sake--he had seen this happen to Haruka before, and had heard the things more polite members of society did not say to her face, but snickered behind her back instead--but also for Usagi’s. Haruka had spent years having those sorts of things slung at her, but Usagi...Usagi was new to all of this.

And Usagi was not like Haruka, who was angry and tough, who would roll all of this off her like it was nothing. Usagi was gentle and soft and easily hurt, and Mamoru suddenly doubted himself for having brought her at all.

But maybe they wouldn’t notice Usagi, so much, with Haruka in the room. She made herself an easier target, with the way she argued, and Usagi, so far, had managed not to burst out into anything that would bring her to the front of their minds.

But now, looking over at her while Michiru and her mother traded jabs, Mamoru wondered if she wouldn’t break the spell and cry out. Her lip wobbled as she looked over at Haruka, who was staring straight ahead as the parry and thrust of their conversation went on. Mamoru was used to it--the Kaiohs were quick on their feet, dangerous and noteworthy opponents, and it was always a little bit of a relief to see them take after each other instead of anyone else.

It was strange, the way fate worked. He never would have guessed that it would be Michiru, the girl who had learned the deception of class while the rest of them still felt like children, who would be part of the destiny of the world. He might have guessed anyone else, in fact.

He had been a little scared of her, as a child. He was a little scared of her as an adult, in his most private thoughts.

He had always known he was something different, inside, but even in knowing that, in every inch of his soul, he had failed to see it utterly in her, and this puzzled him.

But none of that mattered now, the only thing that mattered was that Mamoru feared, in any moment, that Usagi might redirect the attention to herself.

Everything happened so fast.

Michiru laid in a snipe about her mother’s lack of self-sufficiency.

Her mother suggested, teeth bared, that Haruka might serve as Michiru’s beast of burden.

Haruka looked down at her plate.

Usagi’s mouth opened in a wail, protesting that Haruka was nice and had once fixed her chicken clock.

And then, suddenly, all eyes were on Mamoru. He had not remembered jumping up onto the table, nor throwing the rose in between Michiru and her mother. It was as if muscle memory had simply kicked in, and though he was sure, history being a strong indicator of the future, that he had given an excellent speech, he could not recall what it might have been, as all eyes turned to him.

The older Kaioh looked confused; the younger, witheringly unimpressed.

But both of them did stop talking about Haruka, he noted, in the car on the way home.

That was heroism, of a type, he assured himself.

___

She sat near the corner of the bar, back to the door, which surprised him, somewhat. He thought she’d be more suspicious, a more natural solider than that, but she did not seem such a soldier sitting by herself, wearing a worn raglan, her red sneakers dirty under the cuff of her jeans.

Mamoru approached her awkwardly. He didn’t know how to talk to Haruka--he didn’t talk to most people well, if he was honest, and Haruka did not make herself easy to talk to. Mina liked her, but Mina also hated Mamoru, so it seemed it seemed to make a certain amount of logical sense that Haruka wouldn’t like him.

Usagi liked her too, but Usagi liked everyone.

“Hey,” He sat down at the seat next to her, where she sat, looking up at the baseball game on the TV and sipping a beer, “Uh...how’s it going?”

Haruka looked at him with a puzzled expression. “What are you doing here?”

He looked around the bar, dark and colored only by the buzzing neon lights of beer signs hung on the wall, set off by the decorative mirrors and tin signs of different cheap breweries, and felt the stickiness of the bar top in front of him.

These things considered, it was an excellent question.

“I...I came to talk to you,” he cleared his throat and raised one finger to the bartender, “Uh, one beer please, Miss.”

The bartender looked up at him and snorted. “Anything in particular, or just the general concept of beer?””

Haruka gave a deep, throaty laugh, and indicated to a tin sign behind the bar. The bartender nodded and poured something pale gold into a glass and set it in front of him. It occurred to him, now, that wasn’t sure when the last time he drank beer actually was.

He drew out his wallet, and Haruka stopped him. “My treat.” She set the money on the bar, and nodded at the bartender, who was studiously ignoring eye contact with Mamoru, to keep it.

“Thanks, honey.” She picked it up and quickly walked away to the important business of cleaning glasses.

“Thank you, Haruka.” Mamoru looked awkwardly around the bar, and then puffed out his chest, looking at her with what he thought was confidence. “You know, you and Michiru have really changed my perspective, that’s a brilliant gift the two of you have bestowed, and I am forever grateful for it. I never noticed, in my blindness, how many gay couples surround me, every day, even now--”

“This is a gay bar.”

“What?” Mamoru looked around again, like a stunned prairie dog unable to spot the hawk.

“The name of the bar is The Outfield, Mams.” Haruka chuckled into her beer. “So did you just come to thank me for showing you gay people are real?”

Mamoru, it must be said, did not particularly like Haruka. She was abrasive, unmannerly but not in Usagi’s charming way, and she always made him feel somehow small and emasculated. All the being true, he could not very well tell Usagi that he hadn’t apologized for causing her harm. She had been insistent.

That Mamoru did not truly understand how he had cause Haruka harm was a moot point.

“I came to apologize to you.” He laid his hand on her forearm, and Haruka’s eyes flicked up at his face, her eyebrow cocked, and he removed it.

“For what?”

“For bringing undue attention to you at the dinner. I shouldn’t have given anyone the opening to go at you.”

Haruka fiddled with her beer bottle, peeling away the label. “Naw, it’s my fault. I should keep my mouth shut I’m just,” she sighed and looked away, “ ..fucking stupid sometimes.”

Mamoru nodded, “It’s true, you could benefit from being more judicious in your words, sometimes, and I think I could maybe help you with some helpful tips on how to engage with that particular social class. I’ve made a real study of--”

The bartender set another beer in front of Haruka. “It’s on me.”

“Femme mercy saves my life again.” She brought the bottle to her lips.

“I am sorry, Haruka,” he looked down at his untouched beer, which would remain so, “I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.”

Haruka nodded. “It’s okay. Thanks.”

Mamoru leaned forward toward her. “But I also think you haven’t considered the angular visual interest of the Lamborghi--”

“THERE YOU GO, THINKING WITH YOUR DICK AGAIN, CHIBA.”

#Doc's Birthday Releases #a holligay joint

[peanut100]

*about to go to bed*

my brain:

Here in my garaaaaaaaaaaage just bought this uh new lamborghini here, fun to drive up here in the hollywood hills. But you know what i like a lot more than knowledge? this new lamborghini here. but you know what i like a lot more than this new lamborghini here? my tedx talk where i talk about this new lamborghini here the tHeEe e e e e in fact im a lot more proud of these seven new hollywood hills that i had to get installed to hold these 2000 new lamborghinis.

UH

Its like the buffet warren billionaire says, the more you earn the more you DRIVEUPHEREINTHEHOLLYWOODHILLS

In fact the real reason i keep this lamborghini here is the real reason i keep this lamborghini here is that its a reminder, a reminder that dReeRs are still possible because it wasnt that long ago that i was in a little lamborghini sleepin on bookshelves in the hollywood hills with only forty seven billion dollars in my bank account and only 47 lamborghinis in my lamborghini account and only 47 hills in my hollywood account and only 47 tedx talks where i talk about warren buffett in my tedx talks where i talk about warren buffett account

But you know what, something happened that changed my life. I bumped into a lamborghini and another lamborghini and a few more lamborghinis and i found 5 lamborghinis.

I dont call it money anymore,i call it fuel units. You must have enough fuel units. You must have enough lamborghinis.  

[kushblazer666]

here in my GRAAAAGGGGAGE

just bought this uh, new lamborghini here. it’s fun to drive up here in the hollywood hills. but you know what i like a lot more than knowledge? this uh, new lamborghini here. but you know what i like a lot more than th new lamborghini here? my tedx talk where i talk about this ⁿᵉʷ ˡᵃᵐᵇᵒʳᵍʰᶦⁿᶦ ʰᵉʳᵉ ᴛʜ ᴜʜ ᵗʰ  ʇɥ ᴛʜʜʜʜʜʜ in fact, i’m a lot more proud of these seven new hollywood hills that i had to get installed to hold two thousand new lamborghinis UHH it’s like the buffet warren billionaire says: the more you earn, the more you ᴅʀɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏʟʟʏᴡᴏᴏᴅ ʜɪʟʟs in fact, the real reason i keep this lamborghini here is the real reason i keep this lamborghini here is that it’s a reminder: a reminder that ᴅʀᴇᴀʀs are still possible because it wasn’t that long ago that i was in a little lamborghini sleeping on bookshelves in the hollywood hills with only forty seven billion dollars in my bank account and only forty seven lamborghinis in my lamborghini account and only forty seven hills in my hollywood account and only forty seven tedx talks where i talk about warren buffets in my tedx talks where i talk about warren buffet account. but you know what? something happened that changed my life: i bumped into a lamborghini. and another lamborghini. and a few more lamborghinis, i found Five lamborghinis. i don’t call it money anymore; i call it fuel units. you must have enough fuel units. you must have enough lamborghinis. you must C̻̩̪͔̹̭̪͜͞ͅO̫̮̖̗̥̞̟̠͝N̢̺̪͔̦͇̝̫̤͞ͅŞ̷̣̬̟̙̩T̢̞̪̙̬̦͈̙R͔̖̭̹͈͟U̶̦̥̥̣C͔̤̦̤T҉̨̫̰ ̦̞̥̠Á̶͙͖͚͇̘̞͘D̶̝̜̹̣́D̝̖͍̪̱̞͞Í̲̥͠T̪͇̙ͅÍ̶̘̺̟Ọ̠��̬N̶̮͙̪̯̼̠͡A̹̹͘L̫̬͇ ̪̮̺̗̯͈͕P͏̢̭͔͠ͅÝ̫͠L̹̘͚̘̜̯̩͜͞O̠̣̮̩͈̕̕N̷̸̰̞͕̤̦̕S̠̪͙̳̪̲͚̠̀͞ i’ll see you on my website, it’s a quick video, and you’ll see there uh absolutely NOTHING!

#always

[wintershoujo]

long shit i hate typing 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit Burritos, Inspiration Point, Fork Balloon Sports, Cards in the Spokes, Automatic Biographies, Kites, Kung Fu, Trophies, Banana Peels We've Slipped On and Egg Shells We've Tippy Toed Over The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience but You're Going to Have to Leave Now, or, 'I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands! The Boy Bands Have Won, and All The Copyists and The Tribute Bands and The TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture To Be Shaped By Mimicry, Whether From Lack Of Ideas Or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try To Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don’t Just Regurgitate Creative History, Or Hold Art And Music And Literature As Fixed, Untouchable And Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try To ‘Guard’ Any Particular Form Of Music Are, Like The Copyists And Manufactured Bands, Doing It The Worst Disservice, Because The Only Thing That You Can Do To Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It’s Over, Then It’s Done, and The Boy Bands Have Won. that gets a DOUBLE MEME SPIKE!!! 👍🏻👍🏻👌🏻👌🏻👀👌🏻👀👌🏻👀👌🏻 ほぇふっ oh goddamn hot shit💀👽💀👽💀👽💀 👀 👃🏻 👄 Alright, you wanna know the secret to getting a Ferrari or a Lamborghini like this? Drop outta college. Actually I'm just kidding. It's giving me a lot of trouble for me to say that. I do find it interesting that when you look at the most successful people in the world, they dropped out of college, a lot of them. I dropped out of college, I'm not the most successful person in the world, but, I do know that the education system that you and I grew up in... is flawed! There's a lot wrong. I think we all know that. Now, you know I keep these cars in my garage not to show off, or be materialistic, I literally like fast cars, they're fun to drive but what's more important than trying to get cars... uh... is knowledge. You know, like I always say, I'm more proud of these seven bookshelves I had to install to put in... to hold the 2000 new books that I bought. If you've seen my TedX talk, you've heard me talk about how I read a book a day, because like the investor Warren Buffet says "the more you learn, the more you earn"! Now, what I'm about to share with you, uh, on my website, there's a link you should be able to click. I've recorded a simple video here in my garage. Three things that made all the difference in my life. Three things that can change everything because it hasn't always been where I had these kind of cars in my garage, I remember when I was living across the country in Clayton, North Carolina, in a mobile home, sleeping on a couch. I didn't even have a bed. Or a car. Or a college degree, any opportunities, and I only had $47 in my bank account. But, the dream is still possible. You know, you might be a skeptic, you might be surrounded by people saying "Oh, videos like this, they're not real, they're a get-rich quick scheme!" This isn't a get rich quick sssscheme. This is MY true story! And I'm not promising you that tomorrow you'll have a Ferrari or a Lamborghini but what I'm promising you is that if you know the proven steps, it can happen faster than you think because when I was sleeping on that couch, and I felt hopeless. Something fortunate happened to me. My life was at a crossroads. Maybe your life's at a crossroads right now, and you just found this video. And you know there's something better waiting for you. It might not be a Lamborghini or Ferrari, that's nothing, that's materialistic things! You must find the good life, health, wealth, love, and happiness! All those things! For you, maybe for you it's a new career or starting your own company, or a new lifestyle! Traveling, less stress. You have to understand finances, you have to understand the rules that I found fortunately when I was sleeping on that couch and I bumped into one mentor, then another, and I ended up finding five mentors who showed me how they became multimillionaires. Also, I was able to identify certain key books, you can see, I have a soft spot for books, and I wanna share that with you today. Three practical things, just click this video, it'll take you to my website, it's completely free, you can watch the video there, and I record - it's just in my garage like this, it's not super professional so don't expect too much, but it is hard hitting! It does have the ability to change your life! Now do not click this if you're a cynic or a pessimist. There's a lot of those in the world. If you're watching this far, you're probably not, you're probably an optimist, like one of my favorite books, Conrad Hilton, the Billionaire, he said what changed his life when he was living in that depression was reading a book by Helen Keller when he was age 15. She said "optimist", so, I wanna share with you three practical things that you can do today no matter where you live, no matter how bad things might be, where you can begin to revolutionize your life. Find the good life. Health, wealth, love and happiness. So, click this video, and I'll see you over in my website, in just a minute. Alright? (KIK) look at this weak shit. disney pop star and shitty actress turned shitty model and shitty actress. look at that "avant garde" ass outfit, trying to be cool. not to mention her pose game is weak af. man even a person who's only seen one panel of jojo could pose better than this shit. your album title is "confident"? yeah well im pretty fucking confident that ur bitchy fat shaming ass wont get any aotys from anyone with an opinion. Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied. I was in my room, and I was just like, staring at the walls thinking about everything but then again I was thinking about nothing, and then my mom came in, and I didn't even know she was there She called my name and I didn't hear her, then she started screaming, "Mike! Mike!" And I go, "What? What's the matter?" She goes, "What's the matter with you?" I go, "There's nothing wrong mom" She goes, "Don't tell me that, you're on drugs!" I go, "No mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a pepsi?" She goes, "NO! You're on drugs!" I go, "Mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking" And she goes, "NO! You're not thinking you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!" I go, "Mom, just get me a Pepsi, please? All I want's a Pepsi" And she wouldn't give it to me, all I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi! Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's ♫ beautiful ♫ ! In the year negative a billion, Japan might not've been here. In the year -40,000 it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, so an iceberg melted, it became an island, and now there lot's of trees! Because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island and they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees, and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world. And they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and crazy rice farms. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly super person, or emperor for short. Knock knock, get the door, it's religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from Baekje. "Please try this religion," he said. "No," said everybody. "Try it," he said. "No," said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. Then, the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms. Like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China," they said. "Hi dipshit," said China. "Can you call us something else other than dipsh!t?" said Japan. "Like what?" said China. "How about ♫ sunrise land ♫ ?" said Japan. And they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book, about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here, and they conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named Kūkai (空海) is bored with modern Buddhism and learns a better version which is more ♫ spiritual ♫ comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be ♫ great ♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a shit about governing the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ♫ hire a samurai ♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction: rich, important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful. More than the government, so they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor," but the shogun is actually in control. Breaking news: the Mongols have invaded China. "We have invaded China," said the Mongols. "Please respect us, or we might invade you as well." "Okay," said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and then died in a tornado. They tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrew the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moved to Kyoto and makes a new shogunate, and the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that's fine. ♫ now there's more art ♫ Like paining with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for Who's Going To Be The Next Shogun? Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid, so he tries to et his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay, but then the shogun has a kid. So now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones! And everyone voted so hard, that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks. And guns. And ♫ Jesus ♫ So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control, now with guns. And wouldn't it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. This clan is ready to make a run for it. But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. Surprise! Smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. It goes very well. He's about halfway through conquering Japan, when someone who works for him kills him. And then someone else who works for him kills him. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules. "And now I'm going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China," he said, and failed, and also died. But before he died, he told these 5 guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the 5 guys said "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid, it's gonna be one of us. Because we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than he others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight. He wins! And starts a new government right here. ♫ Edo ♫ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don't get confused, this is he new government, and they are very strict. So strict, they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, they want to buy and sell sh!t, but they have to do it right here. Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were opened, roads were built, everyone could read, books were published, poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Dutch studies. People studied European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow dow- .....Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." said the United States. There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan when they want. Chōshu and Satsuma hated that. "Hat sucks," they said. "This sucks!" And with very little outside help, they overthrew he shogunate, and made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed Eastern Capital (東京). They made a new government, which was a lot more western. They made a new constitution, that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western. And do you know what else is western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquered Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further, and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "Stop, no, you can't take that. We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers, and when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuck ton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says, "Can you maybe chill?" And Russia says, "How about maybe YOU chill?" Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain. So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. ♫ It's time for World War One ♫ The world is about to have a war, because it's the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants more. And the next thing on the list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands. All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on it by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France's ass because France is friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria's ass, because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia's ass, because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass, or actually he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh! ♫ Japan should take the islands ♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the telegram to sort of let them know. And then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan! You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes, where they decided who gets what, and, yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫ the League of Nations ♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The Great Depression is bad. Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria, and the League of Nations is line "no, don't do that, if you're in the League of Nations you're not supposed to take over the world," and Japan said, "♫ how about I do anyway ♫" and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China and was planning to invade the whole entire east. You've got mail! It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world, and he needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. ♫ it's time for World War 2 ♫ Germany is invading their neighbors, then they invaded the neighbor's neighbors. Then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's who happens to be Britain said "holy shit" and the United States started helping Britain, because they are ♫ good friends ♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫ their friends and our friends are not friends, plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean ♫ The United States is also working on a large and very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on tv, and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii, and challenges hem to war, and they say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe, and they helped he gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also start chasing Japan back into Japan, and they haven't used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan. They actually dropped 2. The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. Just the right ingredients for a ♫ post-war economic miracle ♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. And then the miracle wears off. But everything's still pretty cool, I guess. ♫ bye ♫ Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels fucking weird when I go and take a piss. Dr. Pepper. The famous 23 flavor soda, has a lot of spinoff products, such as Diet Dr. Pepper. That’s not the topic here today. No we’re not talking about Diet Dr. Pepper barbecue sauce. But what we are talking about, is hot Dr. Pepper. That’s right, hot Dr. Pepper was originally introduced in the 1960’s as a winter beverage. Here’s some advertisements from the 1960’s showing about about Hot Dr. Pepper. However, it was short lived. But you still don’t believe me? You think this is a joke? Just go to the facts and questions article on the Dr. Pepper website. Anyway, I’m going to teach you how to make it. All you need is a Dr. Pepper; a can or bottle will be fine. And just proceed to open it, but DONT blow it up like I did. Cuz’ you know, Bad Dr. Pepper right there. Anyway, you want to heat up a pan, or anything, and just pour a little Dr. Pepper in there, as much as you want. Alright, and as soon as we did that, we’re gonna take a lemon and a knife and make a small slice, and then put it into the glass that you’re gonna puor the hot Dr. pepper in. When the Dr. Pepper starts sizzling or steaming up… That’s it. Just take it off, and pour it in your glass. And if you’re using a glass glass glass made of glass like I am, put it very slowly. Like, wait five seconds between each… Each spill, so it doesn’t melt, cus you know, when glass melts… Glass… yeah. Also if you try this at home, and your lemon makes a popping bubble, comment or like, heh, cuz you know, thumbs up for that. Just some more footage of the popping lemon… Yeah, and basically, this is hot Dr. Pepper. It tastes just like Dr. Pepper, only it’s hot, kind of like tea. Brings out the cherry flavor. Little carbonation, and I’ll see you next time. Later! FINALS WEEK FINALS WEEK JUST DISTRACTING MYSELF FROM FINALS WEEK IM NOT STUDYING BUT ALL MY FRIENDS ARE AND IM FUCKIN' ALONE CAUSE IM LAZY BUT I WONT TAKE YOUR NOTES YEAH I WONT USE QUIZLE-T NO I WONT WATCH CRASH COURSE JOHN GREEN FUCKING SUCKS WHEN YOUR CURRICULUM MAKES ME HATE MYSELF MORE THAN I ALREADY DO~ THERE'S SOMETHING WRO~NG

[morally-challenged-skeleton-blog]

Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge. In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought. It’s like the billionaire Warren Buffett says, “the more you learn, the more you earn.”

Now maybe you’ve seen my TEDx talk where I talk about how I read a book a day. You know, I read a book a day not to show off it’s again about the knowledge. In fact, the real reason I keep this Lamborghini here is that it’s a reminder. A reminder that dreams are still possible, because it wasn’t that long ago that I was in a little town across the country sleeping on a couch in a mobile home with only forty seven dollars in my bank account. I didn’t have a college degree, I had no opportunities.

But you know what? Something happened that changed my life. I bumped into a mentor. And another mentor. And a few more mentors. I found five mentors. And they showed me what they did to become multimillionaires. Again, it’s not just about money, it’s about the good life; health, wealth, love and happiness. And so I record a little video, it’s actually on my website, you can click here on this video and it’ll take you to my website where I share three things that they taught me. Three things that you can implement today no matter where you are.

Now, this isn’t a “get rich quick” scheme. You know, like they say if things sound too good to be true they are too good to be true. I’m not promising you that tomorrow you’re gonna be able to go out and buy a Lamborghini. But what I am telling you is that it can happen faster than you think if you know the proven steps. So, I record a little two minute video on my website. Like I said, now it’s not the most professional I just shot it here with my iPhone, but it’s real. Nobody can argue, this is my true story. And I’m going to give you the three most important things you can do today. So click the link, go there it’s completely free to watch it it’s just a couple minutes. Invest in yourself. Always be curious. Don’t be a cynic. Okay, people see videos like this and they say “Ah that’s not real that’s for somebody else.”

Don’t listen, don’t listen. Be an optimist. Like, Conrad Hilton, the man who started Hilton Hotel, he said that he was only fifteen years old when he read a book by Helen Keller, and that book changed his life. Books can change your life. And in that book, Helen Keller said “optimism” so if you’re a cynic, if you’re a pessimist you don’t need to click here. Don’t worry about it, I don’t need to talk to everybody. But if you’re somebody who knows that there’s something better, cause the dream is possible, you know, for some of you watching it’s not necessarily a Lamborghini, maybe it’s a new job, a new opportunity, starting your own company.

Maybe it’s a new lifestyle without so much stress, traveling the world, doing those things you know you’re destined to do. You can do those unless you understand finances. Money, I don’t call it money anymore, I call it fuel units. You must have enough fuel units to live out your dream and to live out your destiny. So, I’ll see you on my website, it’s a quick video and you’ll see there absolutely free.

So just click this video and you’ll be taken there in a second, and uh, I’m excited to share this amazing stuff. You’ll see, not because of anything of me but because I’ve been fortunate enough to learn from mentors many years ahead of me. Not just in books like these, although I love books but also real in-person mentors. So let me share with you these three tips that have made all the difference in my life. They’re practical, you can do them today, you can start on them today. All right? See you there on my site.