#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows

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@queensconquest​ said,  ❛ these  things  do  happen . ❜ (lw & sqx)

Shi Fei doesn’t look up, wringing her hands in the bedsheets, tears welling up in her eyes and making her nose sting with how hard she tries to hold them back. She can’t recall ever not finishing a mission or failing a mission and making things worse. Ming Yi was always there to make sure if she couldn’t do it on her own, he could easily pick up the slack.

These days, she doesn’t have backup. She has a few friends— His Highness and the Generals included, but they were often busy, and Shi Fei won’t dare ask, not even Feng Xin. She, of course, feels as though she has something to prove, that she does really belong here this time around.

And if there’s residual recklessness because of her trauma, of not wanting to be here, well— she doesn’t want them seeing the ugly side of her.

“What happens now?” she asks, trying not to sound too despondent. 

#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #queensconquest

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@feietouhuo​ said,  ❛ lady windmaster ,  this  is  doing  nothing  for  my  nerves .  ❜

“That’s because you’re too uptight, General Xuan Zhen!” Giggling she nudges him with a nearly bare shoulder, splashing a little bit of the alcohol in her cup onto his robes. “Come, come. Sit with me and chat a while! I haven’t been to a banquet in the Heavens in... well. I don’t even remember how long, actually! Probably since before I fell!”

Shi Fei’s smile falters for a moment, before it brightens again. “So... come on and tell me all of the gossip.”

#「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc ii. the tempest returns triumphant #feietouhuo

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@dreams-of-fate​ said,  “marry her. it seems simple enough.” (pm @ sqx)

“It’s not that simple. I have... baggage that I may never get over, so it’s not fair of me to tie her to me like that. She deserves better than me, anyway, and to ask that of her is too selfish. I love her. So much that it scares me. ”

Shi Fei used to be a hopeless romantic, even through disastrous flings and the terrible rumors about herself and her brother. None of it ever truly tarnished the notion of finding love, of getting married, of finding domestic bliss.

Until the betrayal. Until she fell.

Things changed, she changed. Now she fears.

“I wish... I wish I’d met her before everything happened.”

#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #dreamsoffate

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@queensconquest​ said, ❛ say the word & i will follow you . ❜ ( fx & sqx )

It’s a simple mission, nothing too dangerous or make Feng Xin worry that she might do something reckless. Shi Fei knows he’s worried, knows that lately she comes back to the Heavens with injuries more often than not. How can he not worry, not want to come with her to make sure she isn’t putting herself in harms way on purpose? Maybe he’s finally realized that it’s getting close to that anniversary.

“Feng-ge, you don’t have to ask for my word if you want to come along. I’ll be fine, but if you want to go along, then start packing. I won’t say no.”

Normally she’d wave off his worries, but maybe she’s just a little afraid of herself. Not that she’ll voice this. She doesn’t want to be coddled— not right now, anyway. Knowing Feng Xin, her sweet puppy, he’ll go straight and tell His Highness and Ol’ Pei, too.

The last thing Shi Fei wants is an intervention of sorts.

#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #queensconquest

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@queensconquest​ said, ❛ is this what you wanted to see ? ❜ ( hx & sqx )

Shi Fei still isn’t overly fond of water, but the fear that once kept ahold of her has turned into something more like a simple discomfort. Sitting in a boat made out of a coffin on the open black sea does little to help that discomfort. But, she had wanted to see, hadn’t she? And at least she wasn’t in the water.

Bone dragons circle the boat like vultures beneath the waves, and she’s in awe of the sheer size of them. If these black waters can hold something this big comfortable what other secrets is it hiding? Is her brother’s head at the very bottom, resting against the ocean floor in inky darkness?

That’s a road she doesn’t want to go down.

Instead she peers over the edge of the boat as one comes closer than expecting, gently rocking the boat as it bumps against it. Shi Fei sucks in a quiet breath and holds it for a moment until the rocking stops.

After a moment, she scoots a little closer to the edge and dips her hand into the water, fingertips ghosting down the dragon’s long, skeletal back as it swims by.

“Yes. This is— yes. Thank you, Lord Blackwater.”

#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #queensconquest #she pat the dragon

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@weidizi​ said, ❛ the  world  showed  no  compassion  to  me ! ❜ // have a ghost wwx for sqx

With a sympathetic smile, she presses a hand to the ghost’s cool cheek, thumb gently stroking across it. She, more than anyone else in the Heavens save for perhaps Xie Lian, knows how cruel the world can be, how cruel fate can be.

But she knows too, that even in the hopelessness, in her darkest hours, there was still kindness shown to her. Perhaps it wasn’t in the places that she expected to find it, though that didn’t make it any less real and welcome.

“I know,” She murmurs softly, “The world was so unkind to you, despite how you tried to be a bright spot in it. That cruelness beat you down and broke you, didn’t it? Reshaped you into someone else. I can see why you’re angry. But isn’t it better to take that anger out on the people who deserve it rather than innocent people who don’t?”

#weidizi #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan )

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@dreams-of-fate​ said,  ❝  i love you.  and i know you don’t feel that way about me and that’s okay i just.  i wanted to get to say it at least once.  ❞ (fei fei @ sqx : '') )

“Li-guniang—” She stops herself, takes a breath and begins again, “Fei Fei. That isn’t— it’s not true. My feelings are... complicated.”

Something in her chest squeezes tight, though her hand doesn’t go to rest on her chest. Instead it goes to her throat and she touches it lightly, knowing soon enough she’ll feel phantom fingers there, gripping. Even after all this time, it’s still the same when she gets herself in an upset tizzy.

“I gave... I gave my heart away along time ago and never really got it back. Not whole, anyway. It’s half missing, half shattered. I don’t like talking about it, I don’t like... remembering all of those feelings and the hurt and the... the betrayal.”

Qing’er lowers her eyes, swallowing thickly. Deep breaths. The last thing she wants is to scare Fei Fei by melting down completely. Where was His Highness or that dummy Ol’ Pei to hold her hand when she needed it? “But all of that... all of my cautiousness... it doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings for you. It just means... I’m afraid. Of being ripped apart again. I’m a coward. Not very brave at all anymore.”

#「ᴿ」— ♡ ❛ watch her silk dress dancing in the wind; makes me wanna try her on ❜ ( feifeng ) #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #oof it's That Talk #dreamsoffate

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@queensconquest​ asked:  ☠ for sqx & fx

“Ju Yang~” Shi Fei’s drunken, sing-song voice calls when she spots him in the crowd. Grinning, she bounces over to where he sits, laughing as she half falls onto the chaise next to him. Maybe she’s had a bit too much to drink, but it’s her birthday and she intends to get as drunk as she damn well pleases.

There’s no brother to tell her not to, no Ming Yi to carry her home once she’s either too tired or too drunk to function. She can go as wild as she pleases, she can forget that most of the people here at this ridiculous party left her to rot in the mortal realm during her time of need.

Giggling, she presses against Feng Xin, breasts one wrong move from slipping from her loosened top. “You’re so handsome, Ju Yang! It’s a shame you’re so afraid of girls! Even back then, I think I would’ve climbed you like a tree if I had the chance!”

It’s a shame that he wears his hair up— she can’t tease him by tugging on a lock or twirling her finger around one. She settles for playfully tugging at his collar. “Maybe I should’ve done it in male form, but this one’s my favorite. I’d do it for you, though. Would you like that, A-Yang?”

#put an f in the chat for fx #sfjkdslfjkdlsfjkdls #queensconquest #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white

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@queensconquest​ said,  ❝  i’m not gonna pretend anymore.  i’m still fucked up from it all and i don’t know when it gets better.  ❞ (also for sqx and fx! )

“I don’t either,” she replies softly, pressing a hand to his shoulder and squeezing gently. “Maybe it won’t ever get better. That’s... something I think a lot about. If it’ll always hurt. And it... it scares me.”

She’s never admitted this particular bit before, but she knows that Feng Xin knows her pain, knows her baggage, and now she knows more than ever that he understands it all, given his own experiences. This is safe to share with him, especially at the moment.

“But... even if it doesn’t, at least we have each other. And we both know how it feels, you know?” Her hand drops from his shoulder and she reaches for his hand instead, lacing their fingers together. “I think... we’ll be okay.”

#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #queensconquest #🥺🥺🥺🥺

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@queensconquest​ said,  ❝ some people respond to kindness. others require a glimpse of steel. ❞ (hx & sqx)

For a long moment, her gaze flickers down to her hands in her lap. Qingxuan is still so full of questions for the ghost king. She isn’t quite sure why— there’s something other than the flame she holds for him that keeps pulling her back to his side, over and over, even though each time his coldness and cruelty seem to grow.

“Why do you only greet me with steel? Is that all you’re capable of now?”

#「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #queensconquest #lowkey calling him out....

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@dreams-of-fate​ asked:  ‘☠’ (lian song is ready to hear drunk mei)

Really, it’s a sad sight. 

A-Feng— no, Shi Fei sits in a smaller palace than she had when she first ascended, bottles scattered around her as she sits on the floor, knees to her chest. When was the last time she moved? She can’t quite remember. As soon as they brought her here, she’d started drinking every bit of alcohol she could find in this new palace. Surely it’s been at least a day and she still hadn’t changed out of her beggar’s clothes.

“Ah, Lian-gege! So you finally heard? I’m back! I mean, I don’t know how or why, I don’t really think I deserve it, but here I am!” Uncurling slightly, she shifts around, looking for a bottle that still has something in it, holding it up triumphantly when she finds it. “Here, come have a drink with me!”

Of course, she pours herself a cup first, hand shaky. “I’m glad you came to see me. There are lots of unfamiliar faces here. And ones I’d rather not see. Pei-gege is out in the mortal realm somewhere, so he probably doesn’t know unless that snake has told him. She probably has by now. I hate her. Funny how Pei-gege is the best out of the three of them and I never could stand him. He deserves better than Ge and her.”

Her head makes a loud thump against the wall as she leans back. Forgoing the cup, she takes a swig from the bottle now, forgetting that she’d only just offered some to Lian Song. “Do you ever wish that you could just... forget everything? I wish I could. I want to forget everyone but you and Pei-gege, and maybe Xie-gege and start over. I don’t want to think about Ge anymore, or the nightmares. Or think about... about the person who broke my heart, even though I’d taken him back in a heartbeat if he wanted me to.”

The tears start now and she laughs despite them. “I’m not very fun right now am I, Lian-gege?”

#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #dreamsoffate #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #lian song being her first visitor and she's a Mess™ #at least he gets to tease her later bc she called pm 'gege' #and she WILL deny it #lmfao

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@queensconquest​ said, "Is that my shirt?" (slaps this down for fx & sqx so fast)

“Maybe,” Shi Fei teases, smile wide and playful.

Propping herself up on her elbow, it’s easy to see that it’s certainly not her robe— it’s too big, the collar slipping off of one of her slender shoulders and it’s black in color, a color that she’s never been known to wear.

“Do you think it suits me?”

#「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc ii. the tempest returns triumphant #queensconquest #absolute menace

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@queensconquest​ said,  ❛ i don’t really care what you think of me. ❜ ( lw & sqx 👀 if you want )

If looks could kill, the Civil God would be a pile of smoldering ashes a dozen times over by now. Shi Fei’s gaze is sharp, entirely unfriendly— it’s an odd look for her, one that doesn’t tend to pop up often. Even during the boughts of bickering between herself and Pei Ming she never looked so unkind.

“I suppose that’s a good thing then. Since you won’t care if I tell people I think you’re a corrupt criminal who doesn’t deserve to be here. A shame that the Heavens conveniently can’t function without you.” 

#soooOOOOoooOOoooOOOooo much resentment 😬 #sqx pls talk to someone sweetie #queensconquest #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. black swan among a sea of white #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan )

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@queensconquest​ said,  “ this path you’re on… it’s gonna get you killed. you know that, though; don’t you? “

Those words aren’t said from a place of worry, nor out of any sort of wish to get her to stop; it’s cold and clinical, based on simple observation. Shi Fei isn’t sure which is worse. Perhaps she could stomach it better if it was worry and not a hard fact, not said as judgmental and holding a mirror up at her.

“I know,” she says softly, wiping the blood from her lips, “Though it isn’t like I’m doing it on purpose. At least— not anymore. Sometimes I just get too caught up, or in over my head. It isn’t like I have y—” she cuts herself off, pursing her lips.

There’s no one to have her back anymore. Not like this, anyway. Rarely does she have a partner for missions, even though she’s very well aware that she should. Most simply aren’t interested in partnering with her for one reason or another— either by old rumors or unwillingness to be around a (formerly) disgraced goddess.

“I just... don’t have a partner to team up with. Right now.”

#「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc ii. the tempest returns triumphant #queensconquest

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@queensconquest​ said:

" Shi Fei ? "

Feng Xin was leaning heavily against a tree as he reached the edge of the village, covered in blood and dirt. What was his own and that of the monsters was impossible to tell. But his exhaustion was clearly evident in how he carried himself and the tired expression on his face.

So maybe the suspected handful had turned out to be more like a handful of squadrons rather than just one. But he'd survived and that was the main thing.

His gaze scanned over the village, noting his horse had made it. But where was- Ah. His attention turned seeing someone pushing through a few people gathering near the entrance and quickly saw a familiar sight. He offered her a thin smile as he forced his protesting muscles to carry him closer towards her.

" ...Made it. " Probably not the best thing to say but he found himself struggling on what else to say to her. ( here you go <3 )

Hurried steps bring her to him, cheeks wet with tears and eyes full of worry. Those eyes change to a raging tempest once she has a moment to look him over, to see that he’s mostly fine. A scowl appears on her lips, a rarity when Feng Xin is concerned.

“Of all the stupid, pigheaded things you’ve done, this one almost takes the cake!” Shi Fei lashes out, punching him square in the chest. “I’m no delicate flower, General Nan Yang! I may not be able to conjure the mightiest sand storm anymore but I can still fight!” Another punch, cheeks red from fury, “Don’t treat me like a waif of a goddess who can’t get her hands dirty! Do it again and I’ll show you how fearsome Lady Windmaster can be!” Both of her dainty little fists bang against his chest now, though she’s crumbling. A sniffle escapes her, then another, until her shoulders are shaking and her hands still.

“Don’t leave me like that again.”

#queensconquest #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀᴸ」— arc ii. the tempest returns triumphant #im cry they're so SOFT I CANNOT

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@queensconquest​ said, “That was worth at least two kisses.” ( fx & sqx )

“Really? Oh, I’m not so sure about that.” 

She’s teasing him, of course, gently poking his broad chest. How did she get so lucky, after everything that happened, after the revelation of her wretched fate? Even now, she’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for things to fall apart again, fearing that the worst is still yet to come despite how this time she ascended on her own.

Pushing those thoughts to the side, she leans up on her tiptoes and gives him two quick pecks on the lips to tease him further. “Your kisses, General Ju Yang.”

#「ᵛ」— where the celestial breeze blows #「ᵀ」— o wind; where have you been that you blow so sweet? ( shi qingxuan ) #「ᵀᴸ」— arc ii. the tempest returns triumphant #queensconquest #shes a GREMLIN!!!! a MENACE!!!!