#🍓🧜🏾♂️
Text
i just wanna show off this joke between m n the guy i like because this is hilarious
#i have a crush whatever :/ hardest ive laughed all week :/#adventures#🍓🧜🏾♂️#edit if anyone sees: 4 months later seeing this very nearly made me cry#god fucking damnit#im an idiot#edit 2: 10 months later i do not care about this at all :D
2 notes
·
View notes
Photo
🇺🇳OCCUPY💗CHiNA🇨🇳 ✨✨🔮✨✨✨⭐️✨✨✨✨⭐️✨✨✨✨✨⭐️✨✨✨✨⭐️✨✨✨✨✨⭐️✨✨✨✨✨🍀earth👼angeL💗® says: “🇨🇳OCCUPY💗⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🇨🇳🌬💨💨🔥🌋🌊🏝🏖🌅🛳🚢🚤⛵️🛥🏄🏄🏄🏄🏄🏄🏄🧜🏼🧜🏾♂️🧜🏼🧜♀️🧚♂️🧚🧚♀️🧚🧚🧜🏾♂️🧞♀️🧞🧛🏻🧟♂️🧌🧌🧌🧟🧙♂️🧙♀️🎅🧝♀️🧝🧙♂️🧞♀️🦹🏽🥷🏄🏄🏄🏄🏄🏄🏄⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️⛵️👩🎨🧑🎤👩🎨🧑🎤👩🎤🧑🎤🧑🍳👩🍳👨🍳👨🏻🌾👩🌾🧑🏻⚕️👩💻🕵🏻♀️💂🏻♀️👩🍳🦝🦥🦥🦚🌵🐓🐀🦤🐁🦜🦤🐾🐲🦮🦃🌿🐇🦝🦥🦔🦩🦨🐚🍄🍄🌑🪨🌑🪹🌚🌾🌚🪴🌚🐚🌗🌖🐚🌖🐚🌑🌼🌤🌎⚡️🌍🌓🌍🌓🌜💥🌤🍓🌨💧🫧🥭🥯🫒🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🥝🥝🥝🥝🍅🥝🥝🥝🥝🥝🥝🥝🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🥝🥭🥭🥭🍇🍉🍌🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍑🍑🍑🍅🍑🫐🍒🍅🫐🍇🐚🥭🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧💗🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🏄💥✨🌨 (at China Matters) https://www.instagram.com/p/Clj4rqWpiZX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
0 notes
Text
................so. probably my last update on 🍓
he sent me another text tonight and im a dumb bitch so i texted back. we talked for a bit, and just got off the phone
the reason he "rejected" me, i put that in quotes because he was INTO ME AS HE SAID IT, is because he was afraid of a serious relationship and hurting me further down the line.
what he didnt know, is 1: that i am not sparing with my love. and the weight of the rejection now and the weight of a rejection a year down the line are nearly the same and would crush me almost the same amount. no one likes being rejected by the person they like. i am not exempt to that.
2: maybe it would of been better had he not led me on. that fucking sucks, end of story. its a unique pain, getting affection and then in the next breath being told there is nothing behind it. i felt incredibly betrayed and confused.
i cant forgive him for that.
the boy is dedicated, i'll give him that. he recanted the statement, said he'd do anything for me. he stood outside in sub zero tempatures talking to me, crying and explaining his side of the story.
we were close to having something. so close. but he fucked up. i was - and am - very deeply hurt and that simply cant be undone. just because you express remorse for a murder doesnt undo the crime.
so. yeah. thats it with him.
#there isnt always a happy ending. even if i wanted there to be another way i dont think there is.#i asked him to block my number and he settled for deleting. i am not tempted. i wont be.#he doesnt deserve it.#i will now proceed to think about him every day for the next four months because i hate myself#adventures#🍓🧜🏾♂️
1 note
·
View note
Text
god fucking damnit i want kisses i want cuddles this is so stupid im gonna put my head through a wall
1 note
·
View note
Text
at work today (aug 31) my manager asked me and a guy from online if we could even out a whole bunch of oil. which, we did. anf it was fine. ive seen the guy all over but never talked to him - he was really nice!!! he called me cute :) we had a really good conversation. it started with him saying im much stronger then i look. my job is very labor intensive, we lift and do all the hard work. n i gotta keep up with the boys so yeah i have some muscle now and all the oil is easy. anyway. i told him i work (my department) n he just goes "oh yeah that would do it" n i laughed so hard yall.
we talked abt our positions and our roles in the store, our pay and him coming to canada for school, we're both the youngest in our teams and we get babied, its perks and how funny it is sometimes**** and he showed me the giant hole thats currently in the back of the store. he said that my irl name sounds like an indian name, which i thought was neat. not gonna dox him but his name is also cool
more then that, we also discussed how we've both seen each other around the store alot but never tried to talk to each other for various reasons. we had a nice giggle over that. hes so nice 😭. m glad we finally got to talk. he has cool glasses. i wonder if hes working tomorrow. since toys moved, its right besides online now so i seem em alot n ive talked to 3 people there!!! i cant believe i wanted to be a big grump who never talks to anyone.
oh and one more thing. carrying on from us being the youngest, i made him guess how old i am. im SMALL i look like im 14 but i guess i have a wise face?? this dude always saw me and thought i was like 22-23. dawg im 18 😭😭 he STOPPED for a good 20 seconds and just eyed me up anf down trying to get a guage it was SO FUNNY
#i cant sleep so heres a lil bit about my day#i also dont want to forget. today was bad but **** was good. its good to have a name. i hope i see him tomorrow#adventures#i wonder. in a few years if im still here#will i find this post? will i remember us laughing between the oil? will i remember his name? i hope so.#🍓🧜🏾♂️#the real start. i wish I'd known
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
stares.
#still thinking about 🍓. so fucking stupid.#i still dont understand.#idiot came from the other end of the city - hour+ bus ride - to see me for 15 minutes#not today obviously#but. he did.#i dont understand.#i keep waiting for him to text me even though i specifically asked him not to.#ugh.#adventures#🍓🧜🏾♂️
0 notes
Text
post pending
im still upset over 🍓 and i think i will be for a bit because more then anything i dont understand. a relationship isnt obligatory obviously understand that, n if he doesnt want to he doesnt want to i respect that.
that said
im so god damn confused
he said he wasnt interested in being my boyfriend. fine! ok!
sO TELL ME WHY
when he invited me over the second time i was ACTIVELY trying to keep distance. i sat on the very edge of the bed, and when he moved closer and tried to put an arm around me i wouldnt let him. i put a pillow between us to physically keep a space between us. i was trying to be respectable
and he. wouldnt. let. me. he took away the pillow every time i set it between us until he was pressed up right beside me with our legs intertwined. why would he do that if he didnt want anything. why would he kiss me. why would he open an invitation for cuddles and lay wrapped with me for hours then say that a relationship isnt going to happen.
he said he liked me. he PROVED that he liked me. i like him. it isnt mandatory. its his choice.
but i cant make it make sense.
#adventures#i asked him to delete my number i have no idea if he did or not but i did say if he isnt interested in dating i dont want to see him again#so i more then likely wont get awnsers#which is. fine. i guess. another one of lifes mysteries#but it sucks yk#i want him to see my arms and kiss me and have a tender look in his eye and tell me to never do that again. gross.#🍓🧜🏾♂️
0 notes
Text
...............do we think my very recent uptick in depression is being caused by my rejection. because the last time i was this depressed, 3 years ago i was still hurting from my ex and i breaking up
#im still upset over 🍓 like i just dont understand. its not an obligation obviously christ i know that but also#wwait nvm too long for tags.l#adventures#post pending#🍓🧜🏾♂️
0 notes
Text
FUCKJKKKKKK
#PUTTING MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL AS WE SPEAK#im so weak i havent been like this in 4 years. FOUR YEARS. I DONT EVEN HAVE A CHANCE. GOD DAMNIT.#adventures#🍓🧜🏾♂️
0 notes
Text
we cuddled and it was warm warm way too warm i was hot and sweating and it was uncomfortable but i was so happy i felt so peaceful and relaxed and now im freezing cold and shaking and all i want is to be curled up with him again and im so MAD i dont underSTAND
0 notes
Text
i just wanna talk to the guy i like :( i know i cant :( im supposed to be better then this :(
#ugh#adventures#im so mad still. im not supposed to be torn up like this im supposed to be a stone cold bitch. there were feelings#just#UGHHHH#we called the other day and it was nice :/ -there wont be a relationship- GODDDDD IM SO BOTHERED#unfair#grumpy c3po#🍓🧜🏾♂️
0 notes
Text
ugh
the more i think about it the angrier i am. it isnt right.
he called me cute within 10 minutes of meeting me for the first time. i gave him my number. he bought me lunch. and oreos. and pocky. and wouldnt take no for an awnser. we made out in an elevator. he took 2 hour bus trips to see me. several times. he sent me good morning texts at 7 in the morning every day for months knowing i wouldnt wakeup for another 4-5 hours. goodnight texts too. he stayed up to say hello to me when i was finished work. we cuddled. we CUDDLED.
the feelings were there. they were THERE. i have so much to offer. and i wont fuck him so he doesnt think its worth it.
so stupid
0 notes
Text
i talked to him. conversation boils down to "im not interested in being your boyfriend".
so thats that, i guess.
the romantic feelings were there. they were mutual. there was attraction. i just wont fuck him.
most people have sex its his right to explore and find that yada yada i know i know but im angry. just a little bit. largely at myself. for being this way. and for thinking i actually had a chance with someone.
god fucking damnit im an idiot i hate myself so much why cant i be fucking normal.
it wouldnt hurt quite so much, if we hadnt done so much. hadnt gone on dates. hadnt kissed. hadnt cuddled. it had been so long and i am going to be starved again. god i hate myself why didnt i tell him off right at the start why did i let this happen why did i give this a chance. i knew how this was going to end.
i say this every time but i think im done. i dont want to take this kind of rejection anymore. its ugly and alienating and downright depressing. trying isnt worth it its never ever worth it. it all ends the same.
i know how to welcome solitude, i typically do with open arms but god i wish it didnt feel so damn empty.
i got a text at work one day. he said he was stressed and all he wanted to do was hold me and hug and squeeze me until it all evaporated. "i like you so much like hell i dont know what to do with it"
what youll do is let it dry up as soon as you find out i wont blow you
that is going to stick with me.
i hope i never see him again.
#in the words of one of my friends - hes thinking with the wrong head. hilarious. the only good thing about this#adventures#this. sucks. lol. :/#🍓🧜🏾♂️
0 notes
Text
dont read this im not 15 anymore i shouldnt be doing this
my fucking god the guy i like makes me want to tear my hair out. we hung out on saturday n the feelings are reciprocated so we cuddled and kissed alot. aloooooooot and i was over the moon with that but i swear every 10 fucking minutes he was asking to touch my boobs. im not exagerating. he kept saying he wouldnt do anything i dont want to do and im sure he wouldnt hurt me anyway but dude still. what part of im not interested in that dont you understand
not even just that but a few times he was on top of me and he pinned my wrists above my head which i didnt really want already and ALSO he put a hand on my throat not squeezing but still there and i REALLY didnt want that this is the least of my concerns here. i didnt think he had it in him honestly hes the dorkiest looking motherfucker. i could snap him in half. anyway.
hes so painfully my type i want to scream. he has it all. why did i give him my number why did i let us be friends im ace why does my type have to include having a dirty mind. i hate it here
we couldnt find the tv remote at one point n he reached between my legs and told me to take it out n ive told him to stop making gross jokes where im the focus ive told him im uncomfortable and hes not funny and he doesnt care I KNOW ITS A RED FLAG I KNOW I KNOWWWWWWWWWWW OKAY but every single other fucking thing about him is so fckng endearing. hes gorgeous. hes a genius. he likes anime and spiderman. his laugh lights up a room. when he talks in hindi i cant stop myself from smiling. he bought me pocky. he sleeps on an air mattress. ive never seen him in anything other then a turtle neck. he likes fruity smelling soaps and candles, its the only luxury he allows himself. he has the coolest fucking glasses.
yesterday he asked if we could put a name to this, i couldnt get the right words out and ask him to be my boyfriend properly, half because im easily flustered because I Dont Do This amd half because i dont want him to be. im a coward and i run from my problems so last night after chewing on it for 2 hours i texted him saying basically that i really wanted to date and be official because i like his dumb ass but i also know we arent compatible and its better we stay as friends. which sucks. im a coward and deleted snap immediately after so i havent seen if he said anything. i missed talking to him today. i got used to texting him all day so fast. i miss good morning and good night texts. last time we didnt talk for a day he tried other methods and asked if i was ok n if it was his fault and like it is but it isnt dude its complicated i hate myself i hate myself soooooooooo bad. did i mention this was the day after he saw me kinda cry out of frustration and sadness and he said it was one of the worst things hes ever seen/felt 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
he already said that if we dated it wouldnt be forever. he wants to fuck eventually and he wants it to mean something and not be with a hooker (i dont know if ive said this but if i dated someone i'd be fine w them getting a lady for the night LMFAO) which is fine! hes a cishet guy thats his right to want. im just so mad because now we've kissed and we've made out and i remember what cuddles are like and im SO MAD. this is the most ive felt towards anyone in the 3+ years and i cant have it because of my stupid sexuality. i wish i had said no to hanging out. i wish i had self restraint. i wish i hadnt hugged him. if he asks to hang out again im gonna say no. i want to show off my books and coins and wrap ourselves in blankets hes so fucking warm-
god damnit. God Fucking Damnit im not a teenager anymore.
im not ashamed of being ace or whatever im proud of it I Am Just Me im just a person but god it makes me mad sometimes because ive missed out on people ive wanted before and i will again and to be entirely fucking honest i dont know if i ever will. i dont think its even worth it. the older i get the harder it will be to say im not interested because people will assume im either waiting til marriage or im a prude and it will be more common place because everything is only ever sex sex sex and im tired of it man.
im like 99% sure he told me to stop texting him because he wasjacking it yesterday. ye gods.
tldr im so mad i like him so much and i cant have him.
im going to fucking bed
0 notes
Text
he was so warm...... and now its blizzarding out and im so cold and my shirt smells like him
0 notes
Text
i can hear him all of a sudden????? this man has been talking for so long my god
#he obviously knows what hes doing and its nice to just listen but i wish he was talking to me LMAO#adventures#he doesnt even want this job HDHJDJDJSJDJSJW#🍓🧜🏾♂️
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
yongbot
verivery mad world
reidsqlick
alexsander
that-headcanon-girl
love is like a river, a never ending stream
