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#(obvs there were many many things that contributed to this but this video is definitely one of the finite Moments i can point to lol)
raytorosaurus · 1 year
Text
it was watching this for the first time that mcr tipped over from "awesome band i really fucking dig" to an all-time hyperfixation for me. ray's enthusiasm, the way they wordlessly jump into exactly the part ray's thinking about, the way those parts work together and sound so fucking wonderfully insane...like these are two very talented guys but they could only get as good as they are through dedication to their instrument of choice and their band could only sound as good as it does because of their dedication to working with each other and that's what it's all about baby
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erin-bo-berin · 2 years
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hiii bestie! I hope you’ve been feeling better?
so here’s that idea I mentioned… obv you and Steve have a thriving sex life. but you’ve been “taught” in past relationships that a woman should be quiet in bed/or you just think that’s the ladylike thing to do. which is really confusing/ego-crushing for Steve and he actually thinks maybe you’re not enjoying sex with him at all bc you’re basically silent the entire time.
so one day you ask him if he wants to fool around and he’s like “come on, do you even want to? It doesn’t seem like you enjoy it much/you don’t have to just to make me happy.” then you have a heart to heart, tell him what’s up, and ask him if he’ll help you be more expressive in the moan/groan/gasp/verbal feedback department by asking what feels good, etc. for a smutfest that’s sure to restore Steve’s confidence. (maybe they accidentally stumble upon a new kink for Steve… daddy or breeding or something else entirely? I like the idea of him first “helping” her and then she really gets the hang of it and surprises him) 🥵😘☄️
only if you want to and no timeline, ofc ofc!
Yes I am, thank you 🥰 also oh man, imagine how hard Steve would take that 🥺 (I’ve also toyed with the idea of writing one where the reader has never had an orgasm with a guy and he wants to be the first to give her one—maybe you can help me flesh out that idea more at a later date?)
But I definitely feel like reader may not have been comfortable with doing it in past relationships so when no other guys have mentioned it, she doesn’t think it’s important and is shocked when Steve mentions it. ANYWAY I’m gonna have a blast with this one 😏
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Confidence Boost
Steve Harrington x Reader
Warnings: Smut
Steve watched you pad off to the bathroom to clean yourself off.
He was still trying to steady his breathing, recovering from the orgasm he’d just had, but when he’d moved off of you earlier, he couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied.
Your and his sex life was fine—more than fine actually as you both had trouble keeping hands off one another. But recently, doubts had started to cloud Steve’s mind.
Sure, sex was a regular thing between you two, but he’d started to wonder if it was something you did just for him, if he left you unsatisfied each and every time.
Dear God, had you been faking orgasms with him?
He didn’t think so, as it was hard to fake the clenching of your pussy on his cock as you came, the way your body would tremble and face would fall slack before contorting in pleasure.
But still, it could be easy to fake two out of those three.
He thought sex with you was absolutely incredible, he’d never had as intense orgasms as he did with you and he contributed it to be wholly and unequivocally in love with you.
So why was he worried?
Because you rarely made a peep.
You were silent a majority of the time. Other than a breathy, quiet noise here and there, you hardly ever made a sound.
Needless to say, it was soul crushing to Steve.
He’d slept with many girls before you—in fact he had quite the roster of women back in high school and when he was casually dating, before he met you—but no matter what, there was always something he made sure of. If he was with a girl intimately, he was going to make sure they had a good time and didn’t walk away unsatisfied.
Which was why he was now laying in bed, waiting for the love of his life to return from the bathroom so he could give you the most wholesome, tender, post sex cuddles ever. You were amazing in every way.
But was he not enough to satisfy you?
It was approaching nighttime as you and Steve sat on the bed. You laid on your stomach at the end of the bed, watching the remaining of an episode of Wheel of Fortune while he sat at the head of the bed, looking over some end of the month reports from Family Video.
Keith had once again dumped the responsibility on Steve and even though he wasn’t crazy about the job, he took the task seriously.
The wheel spun again, the mechanical whirring and dinging of it spinning coming through the TV. It landed on the $500 wedge and the contestant called a “T”.
You groaned, turning off the TV, having already solved the puzzle yourself and bored by the show now. You rejoined Steve at the headboard, placing your chin on his shoulder and peering at the papers he held.
“You’re gonna give yourself a headache if you stare at that inventory list any longer,” you pouted.
He mumbled his agreement, setting the pile of papers on his bedside, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his eyebrows.
“I have a better idea,” you smirked, hand gliding dangerously close to his crotch, your lips tickling his jaw.
Your lips skirted teasingly along his jaw, placing light kisses along it, your hand pressing firmly over his quickly reacting cock, rubbing over it.
“Why don’t we fool around,” you mumbled, a teasing grin on your face as you suckled lightly on a spot where his jaw and neck met.
He moved out of your reach, to your surprise, a bloom of hurt spreading throughout your chest.
“You don’t have to do it just to make me happy,” he said.
Your brows creased in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, do you even want to fool around?” he asked, lips pressed tightly together.
You knew he only did that when he was upset about something and this time, he was trying hard to hide just how upset he was.
“Steve, of course I do,” you laughed in disbelief, “I wouldn’t be trying to seduce you if I didn’t.”
His mouth turned down in a frown as he folded his arms over his chest, refusing to look at you.
Now you were baffled. You had no idea what was going on here.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” you bit your lip nervously, almost afraid of his answer.
He’d never turned you down like this. Sure, he’d done it in the past when he didn’t have time, was too busy working and you’d tried tempting him or even when he wasn’t in the mood. But all those times it had been in such a sweet manner, not wanting to hurt your feelings. He’d never been so closed off like this, almost cold towards you.
“It just seems like you don’t enjoy it very much when we do have sex,” he shrugged.
You were absolutely floored.
Steve was the most talented man you’d been with. He knew how to make your mind reel, your body feel like a lit firework and actually see stars behind your eyes. The things he could do with his fingers and tongue alone.
You would not hesitate to label it the best sex ever.
So why did he think you didn’t enjoy him?
You actually gaped at him and when he finally met your eyes, you could see the hesitation behind them. Not only hesitation, but confliction and most of all, hurt.
“Please talk to me,” you mumbled, frowning now.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, sending the brunette strands in different directions. You knew it took a lot for him to admit whatever it was that was bothering him. He’d always been one to be there for people, yet had a hard time when it came to being the one having the insecurities.
“You’re always so quiet,” he shrugged, “You never make any noise. You never tell me what you want, what you like. No dirty talk, nothing. I just figured you weren’t enjoying it as much as I was, but never said anything to spare my feelings.”
Your mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air.
“Steve, can I be honest with you?”
“If you’re going to tell me that I don’t please you, I’d rather not hear it,” he said glumly.
“Okay one, that’s so far from the truth. You’re absolutely incredible. Words can’t describe type of incredible,” you said bluntly.
You didn’t miss the way his eyes snapped to yours, looking curious and a bit relieved.
“Two, I always felt awkward being too noisy. The one time I tried, the guy I was with said it ruined the mood. I figured I just wasn’t any good at it and now I just try to stay quiet…” you trailed off, humiliation settling in at your words.
Sex was an intimate activity of course; you were at your most vulnerable when you were naked, letting another person see the entirety of you, inside and out. Even more vulnerable is letting that person see you cum. It was an act and feeling where you throw caution to the wind and let go. That’s why it was so embarrassing to admit that in your entire sexual life, you had never felt confident enough to react accordingly, especially when you most wanted to. Especially, with Steve.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he frowned again, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you against his chest, your back pressed against it, “Here I was selfishly thinking it was a me problem when I didn’t even realize you were struggling. I had no idea you felt that way. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was embarrassed. I am embarrassed. I mean, usually it’s just something you can’t control and it just happens. But I want to change that. Will you help me?”
“Challenged accepted,” he said, turning you to him, kissing you.
You pushed his chest lightly, parting from the kiss, hesitant for a moment.
“I, um. I’m not exactly sure what to do,” you admitted.
He didn’t judge you or even laugh at you. He took you seriously as his gazed seared yours.
“Just tell me what feels good,” he answered, “With words, with noise, whatever. Let me know what you want. Tell me what you want to do to me. Be as dirty as you want, I certainly won’t mind.”
Now he was smirking, hand rubbing the top of your thigh and you chuckled lightly.
“How about a quick practice run, hmm?”
“Practice run,” you replied dubiously, not sure where he was going with this, “Okay.”
His hand slid from your thigh in between your legs, cupping your pussy through the thin material of your underwear. You were already ready for bed, just in an oversized t-shirt and underwear, so his touch was even more agonizing when it was so close to your bare core.
“Oh,” you gasped lightly, his hand rubbing against you lightly, just enough pressure to tease you.
“Does that feel good?” he whispered, watching you intently.
“Yeah,” you whispered, swallowing thickly, nodding.
“Good. Now let’s make you scream then, yeah?”
Your cheeks barely had time to warm before he was repositioning you, pulling you practically in his lap. Your legs wide spread wide enough as he continued to rub his hand against you, placing his lips against yours as he kissed you.
One arm hooked around his neck, your other hand resting on his stubble coated jaw as you kissed him back, hard. His fingers pulled your underwear aside before the pad of this thumb pressed down on your clit.
You moaned softly into the kiss and you felt his thickening cock against the back of your thigh, him reacting to even the smallest of noises you’d already made.
“Tell me what you want,” he mumbled lowly against your lips.
“Your fingers,” you sighed, his thumb running lazy circles on your clit.
He slid his index finger in, not at all surprised to find just how wet you already were. If he hadn’t been so caught up in his doubts, he would’ve known just how much you enjoyed him from your body alone. It always reacted to him so quickly and in the most arousing ways.
“Good?” he asked, curling it teasingly.
Your moans were still hesitant, quiet, but still, it was a start.
“So good,” you breathed, hips trying to push into his touch, needing more friction.
The second finger joined the first and he slid them in and out of you, thumb flicking your clit.
“Oh god,” you groaned, head falling back.
You didn’t miss his smirk as he pressed a hot kiss against your throat. Your hips thrust into his hand, wanting him to lead you to orgasm, but he didn’t.
It was only when he had you spread out in front of him—head at the bottom of the bed—and mouth fully on you that you had no trouble holding back anymore.
“Oh, Jesus,” you moaned.
You’d been wasting way too much time not being vocal enough for him because you swore it just made whatever he was doing ten times hotter.
He lifted his head, peeking up at you with a smile.
“Sorry to disappoint babe, but it’s still just Steve.”
You groaned at his joke, foot hitting him playfully on his side causing him to laugh.
Sex had always been good with him, but now it felt less tense, less perfunctory and more fun. More carefree.
“You’re an asshole,” you mumbled lovingly.
“Ah, but I’m your asshole,” he grinned then blinked, realizing how wrong his statement sounded.
You burst out laughing. At his statement, at the fact that you both could just pause in the middle of oral sex, have a teasing conversation and it be so natural.
“That sounded better in my head,” he grumbled.
You were still shaking in laughter.
But your laughter didn’t last long as it turned into a sharp moan when his tongue flicked your clit, pressing it flat against it. His fingers had done quite the sneak attack, sliding in and adding to the mix before you’d been aware.
He moved at a lazy pace, licking you thoroughly, pumping his fingers steadily. By this point, you had no control over your mouth.
“Fuck, don’t stop, yeah, like that,” you moaned, gripping his hair.
He didn’t until you came, buzzing in your fingers, curling in your toes. He left hot, open mouthed kisses back up your body, his cockiness shining in his eyes.
“That was quite the improvement, sweetheart,” he grinned, “I think you could use a bit more practice, though.”
“Oh, really?” you grinned slyly.
You pushed him back enough so you had room to sit up. Your hands reached for the bottom of the oversized shirt and you peeled it off over your head, letting it fall on the floor next to the bed. Then, you shimmed out of your wrinkled and crumpled panties before laying back before him.
His eyes clouded over, his hot gaze taking in your naked body and you swore you saw his throat bob as he swallowed hard, a deep groan coming from him.
“I’m ready to learn, Steve,” you cooed.
You don’t think you’d ever seen his clothes disappear so fast. You were smirking yourself now, pleased at his eagerness.
“Y/N?” he mumbled against your jaw, where he nipped and sucked.
“Mhm?” you asked, tilting your head to give him full access.
“Just one tip,” he said, spreading your legs with his hands.
“What’s that?”
“Be as loud as you fucking want,” he growled, giving you no notice as he thrust into you.
“Shit,” you hissed.
The stretch of him was an all overpowering feeling, especially when he gave you no warning and went for it as opposed to the slow entrance. Every time, you somehow managed to fit him, though you possibly squeezed the life out of his cock.
You heard no complaints from him, though.
Honestly, how you managed to stay quiet so long was a miracle to you because it seemed to be like now that the gates were open, moans and groans came flooding from you.
“You like that baby?” he teased, angling his hips so he hit deeper.
“Y-Yes,” you gasped, hips gyrating against his.
He was so deep and so hard that he was causing all your nerve endings to short circuit as he moved in you.
His mouth lavished your body, your senses going into overdrive. His hot kisses were spread across your collarbones, over your breasts where he stopped long enough to pull one of your nipples into his mouth and suck hard on it.
“God, Steve,” you moaned, arching into his touch.
He growled in response, the noise sending a bolt of heat directly to your core and you tangled your arms around his body. One hand was thrust in his hair, the other clung to his back.
Even feeling the muscles of his back ripple as he moved over you made you want to moan. You’d turned it on and couldn’t turn it off.
“That’s it, baby girl,” he groaned, mouth hovering over yours so closely that you could feel his uneven breath hitting your face.
“Moan for me, sweetheart.”
That you did, just the intonation of his words making you whimper and whine.
“You’re so good Steve, you’re so good,” you whined, wrapping your legs around him, trying to push him as deep as you could go.
Your muscles were spasming, clenching down on his cock making Steve swear.
“I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep doing that,” he laughed breathlessly.
“Come on baby, cum,” you whispered, tightening around him again, “Want you to cum in me. Fill me up, put a baby in me.”
Sweet Jesus,” he moaned, hips becoming erratic.
You’d have to make note of that reaction much later when your brain wasn’t on the blink.
His hand snaked between your legs, making sure you were finishing with him.
Fireworks might as well have gone off in the room that was an intense as you both came, one sending the other off.
“Holy shit,” he murmured, we he’d finally caught his breath enough to speak.
His lips met yours briefly before smiling down at you.
“Talk about a confidence boost,” he chuckled.
He pulled out of you, already softening, but you had other plans beginning to brew in your mind.
“What can I say? You’re a great teacher,” you giggled, rubbing your hand along his cheek, “One more question though.”
He leaned into your palm, pulling back enough to kiss it.
“Hmm?”
“How long is it gonna take you to recover?” you smirked.
You didn’t miss the wicked gleam in his eye or the huskiness of his voice.
“Why?”
You reached down, wrapping your fingers around his cock feeling him respond instantly.
“Because I want to make you moan now.”
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newtedison · 3 years
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my thoughts on the crank palace
i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy
1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later
2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 
3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...
4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt
5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it
6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...
7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.
i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think
(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)
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