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timeisacephalopod · 5 years

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Ive seen endgame! Spoilers under the cut and I’m not tagging this as spoilers because I’m literally telling you now its spoilers.

1- what the fuck was the point of Tony’s kid? We had more than 10 years with this character, he doesn’t need a kid for emotional impact when he died and now I’m kind of pissed they threw this fucking random kid in there only to orphan the poor thing and make Pepper a single mother. What fucking bullshit. Never should have been a storyline.

2- Pepper in the suit yaaaaaas.

3- Wanda. Fucking loved her moments. And Thanos’ “I don’t even know who you are” was fucking iconic lmao. I mean her “you will” was okay but holy fucking damn that was the funniest shit from Thanos.

4- they killed viz permanently lmao yeah I didn’t give 2 tits and a snare drum about him anyway so I don’t care.

5- Steve. What the fucking fuck did they do to him? Don’t get me wrong, I like Peggy, and I liked him and Peggy in FA. They were cute. But it was a 4 month fling in the middle of of a war. Not that it can’t be important, but after 15+ years you are telling me a 4 month fling from Steve’s youth is more important to him than everything else? And what of Bucky? He leaves him to HYDRA and after all the shit he went through in WS and CW you’re seriously telling me he’d just LEAVE him there like that? I don’t mean to be a dick to Peggy because I do like her, but narratively speaking Bucky has always played more importance to her except when they want to make Steve feel nostalgic. I’m sorry, I’m fucking over that plot line.

More than that though she moved on in her show, she had a life after Steve and he went back and took that from her. And I don’t see why aside from no one let him grow as a character while also having him grow as a character. He went through a huge character shift in WS and then we saw nothing of it. Aside from his motivations in CW, which make sense given the context of WS however much I disagree, we see none of that development and I’m fucking tired of watching him lament over a relationship that lasted for a shorter time than a high school semester. To any normal person, and even to Steve given his non normal stance, he would have moved the fuck on. Also he made out with her niece that one time!! How is he living with this!

Also Sam says they never had a Captain America but Steve was still big when he danced with Peggy, which means he got the serum, which means he still can’t age right, which begs the question of how the tits long did he live? And again, what does this mean for everything else considering getting the serum implies he was, at some point, Cap even if he was never the Cap they knew. What the fuck! I’m actually the most mad about this because Steve, post WS, probably would have been one of my favorite characters given his extreme narrative shift and just how interesting that could have been if anyone ever fucking let him move on with his fucking self but no. Instead we end with him in the same spot he started in! I watched ten years of this shit for him to do NOTHING? All that development (that the narratives never really let him go through in totality because he narratively never shifted out of his War and Peggy Phase even while his character, on an individual level, moved out of that several times) and I watch him end in the same place he started?

Honestly I’m pretty pissed about that. Especially with all the did with Bucky. I seriously can’t believe Steve fucking left him there, ignored every piece of information he had, ruined Peggy’s original happy ending, and then didn’t even grow as a character. I like that he got a happy ending, I think he’s earned that, but I simply cannot believe a 4 month fucking fling meant so much he’d ignore his best friend, HYDRA, Peggy’s original marriage, the fact that he made out with her niece that one time, and everything else to end up exactly where he started. Which is why I don’t really care for him to begin with- because the narrative always leaves him right at the beginning and I don’t know how to invest in a character that grows but never grows. If he narratively was allowed to grow he would have been so. Much. Better. It is so fucking frustrating to me that he never moved the fuck on. You have no idea.

6- “I can do this all day” “Yeah I know”

7- “You look like melted ice cream”

8- Hated almost everything they did with Thor. Fat jokes? Yikes. Though I did love that ice cream line. Loved the bit with Frigga. And like. Thor being devastated and traumatized is ok. I think that’s realistic enough even if I wonder how someone that’s been alive for well over 1000 years doesn’t know how to handle himself with slightly more grace. I would have liked to see him crack differently.

9- Cap picking up Thor’s hammer and Thor being happy about it? 10 000 times better than the garbage Whedon wrote. Loved that.

10- Nebula. N E B U L A. NEEEEEBBBUUUUULLLLAAAA. Start to finish fucking loved her. She was amazing. 2 questions though- how did she not kill herself when she killed herself? Which in itself is a fucky question to ask. And also the second contention point I have with the movie beyond time travel bullshit is why NO ONE asked where she was post Nat (that in a minute). I know they were sad about Nat obviously but Rhodey is a full bird colonel, he keeps track of thousands of people for his job, plus all of his involvement in Tony’s antics, plus the Avengers and you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone even with Nat? And Tony, you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone? He was the one who bonded with her the most and he didn’t notice that he’s now technically lost two people he was close to? And Rocket? He didn’t notice? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought that was bullshit.

Even if, by chance, Rhodey somehow didn’t notice his partner in crime was missing (”I wasn't always like this” “Neither was I”- new BroTP yo!) when I think his military experience alone would have made him the second most likely to notice after Rocket (because he knows her the best) then Rocket should have. And if for some reason Rocket didn’t notice despite her being all that’s left of his found family, making him extra invested in her whereabouts, over Nat, whom I think he’d care about but not like Nebula, then Tony, who spent all that time with her in space, would have noticed.

Fucking someone would have noticed her gone. And the whole second half relies on no one noticing this moment and I call absolute bullshit on that. Someone. Would. Have. Noticed. Rhodey if for no other reason than experience of keeping track of people in war zones, Rocket if for no other reason than her being his last remaining connection to his family, and Tony if for no other reason than Nebula being a large part of the reason he’s alive. I was completely thrown from the story here. I simply can’t see how they could over look that even considering Natasha.

11- Natasha. Are you fucking kidding me? You killed her over Clint? I fucking hate MCU Clint. He’s boring, he’s nothing like the comics, he’s a fucking prick, and I don’t give a fuck about his family or anything to do with him. I liked him best when he was going to kill himself for Natasha. That is the only moment, as Marie Kondo would say, sparked joy for me. Otherwise throw the whole thing out. Fucking Natasha over Clint. Fuck you. That was an insult to the viewers. I don’t give a fuck about Clint, I don’t give a fuck about his kids aside from thinking they didn’t deserve the snap, and I don’t give a fuck about his story.

My mom said he was a plain Timbit (donut hole for the US readers) in a donut world and I honestly think that’s insulting to the plain Timbit, which is something we give to dogs as treats in Canada. Clint isn’t even a dog treat to me and they killed Black Widow over him. Fucking pissed.

12- “That suit does nothing for your ass” “No one was asking you to look, Tony!” “That’s America’s ass!” .... “That is America’s ass”

13- I actually really liked what they did with Bruce. I was excited to see all the benefits of the Hulk and Banner in one! That was pretty cool!

14- Strange’s reappearance was pretty badass. And Wong! I was excited to see him there! Was a bit surprised by Tilda Swinton’s appearance but okay. I didn’t hate it. Loved when she punched Bruce out of the Hulk lmfao that was so funny. I do like that she apparently does that to everyone lmao. I should write a fic where she punches Wong’s soul out of his body when the meet just because I think it’d be funny. And I’d love to see more Wong.

15- Steve vs Steve was really cool, I liked that. And fucking Hail HYDRA holy fucking shit I almost lost my ass. Couldn’t fucking believe he said that (and knowing that he just leaves that all for Peggy, his 4 month fling? Find this wildly out of character for him). Then he fucks right off with the tesseract omg.

16- Scott had some iconic one-liners. “That’s America’s ass!” “Okay I'm going to go inside you” omg. Ant Man was a joy to watch in this. I find Endgame used his character right.

17- I know I said it but Pepper Potts in the fucking suit y’all! I don’t know who was watching Morgan but also Pepper Potts in the fucking suit!!

18- That time travel shit made things entirely way too fucky. I knew that’s what they were going to do because that’s all that made sense, but I thought it was fucking stupid. And can Thanos even snap the stones out of existence? Because Tilda Swinton’s speech implied if he did something like that timelines would essentially do the funky chicken and die. She removed the time stone and shit was supposed to get weird, remove all 5 and what happens? Wtf? He fucking hid those stones. Did like Thor’s bit there though, killing Thanos. I think Nebula earned it more than him but I also think it was a good moment for Thor before his character became a fucking joke.

19- narratively I understand why they started with Clint’s family dusting but I don’t give a fuck about Clint or his dusted family. I would have preferred watching a civilian lose his shit.

20- Steve you need therapy, stop leading therapy sessions. Especially when your advice is ‘move on’ and you literally go fucking nowhere in your life even after you went all over hell’s creations. Get this man a proper therapist he needs like 15!

21- lmfao Russos talking about gay representation and it was a guy talking about a date. I shit you the fuck not that was it. Gay. It was barely even there. Only straight men would ever assume that could possibly count as representation holy fuck. Like thanks for the blink you miss it shout out I guess. You remembered gays exist, wow!

22- Strange’s one finger thing, I liked that a lot actually. I think it functioned both as a great call to action and a nice reference to Stephen’s power.

23- Quick question, why was Tilda Swinton in New York? Because they went back too far for Strange- at first I when they mentioned 3 stones in NY I was like wait, when’s Strange’s story supposed to happen? After WS right? He can’t be in NY with the stone? But then Tilda showed up and I was like... why isn’t she in Nepal at the teaching sanctum? Because apparently the NY one isn’t a teaching sanctum and as far as I knew she was training Mordo and Wong there at this time so wtf? And it can’t be explained with ‘she knew she needed to be there’ because she punched Bruce out of hulk and he had to grovel to her to get the fucking thing from her and only managed because she knew Stephen gave up the stone willingly and would never do so without good reason because he’s the best fo the best. So like. Why was she there aside from plot convenience? That was a little too easy. Frankly, the whole plot was a touch too easy but still.

24- tired of aliens we’re supposed to relate to looking like humans but in pink while aliens we’re supposed to dislike are animalistic and non human looking. That’s a garbage trope.

25- The black woman in the elevator who made Tony and Steve is 100% Fury’s mother no one can convince me otherwise. I think the timeline matches up but I don’t care if it doesn’t she’s his mom now. He gets it all from his mama.

Bonus: stop trying to make Howard happen, Marvel, its not going to. I fucking hated that scene with Tony and Howard. What kind of bullshit abuse apology was that? Howard then, sure, he didn’t suck quite yet and seems to be aware of his own shortcomings. Howard in the future? Sorry, irredeemable crap. Narratively interesting irredeemable crap but irredeemable nonetheless. Tony panicking and saying his last name was Potts was great though lol. I’ll take it as evidence he took Pepper’s last name when they got married.

Bonus Bonus: I cried when Sam held the shield. I’ve been gunning for Sam to take over as Cap since we met him and everyone told me it’d be Bucky. I argued that we’ve already seen the story of a super soldier as Cap, it would be more interesting to watch Sam as a relatively normal guy take over as Cap. And I like Bucky traumatized and Winter Solider-y. I think he’s more interesting that way. Seriously though, Sam as Cap will be amazing and I didn’t expect to cry at that of all things but I did. I’m so excited to see him in that role!

Bonus Bonus Bonus for any sorry fucking soul who’s made it this far in I think I might update the Tony, T’Challa, and Their Gaggle of Children verse to include Morgan (but older) finding Tony only she’s his actual assed kid and no one believes it even though they have a striking resemblance. Which annoys them both because he got the media to buy all his other fake kids with easy to track down parents but not his actual kid. Ending with Nebula showing up and him claiming she’s his kid and everyone buying it.

#winters ramblings

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thealexdee-blog · 5 years

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How I cured a recurrent UTI

For a period of about 7 months I had a recurrent UTI. I eventually healed, but only by departing from conventional methods. I’m going to share my story with you in hopes of helping those who are in the same boat I once was.

To level set, here is my health history related to UTI’s:

1. I had one UTI about 15 years ago and never another one again until this 7-month bout.

2. Ultrasound tests show that I empty my bladder fully when I urinate, and my anatomy is completely normal from urethra to kidneys.

3. Test results for STD’s are all negative.

4. I am healthy: low BMI, good diet, fit, no other illnesses, proper immune function.

Here are the details of the 7-month saga of my recurrent UTI:

1. Woke up one morning with a bladder on fire.

2. Went to doctor, complained of symptoms. Doctor took urine sample. In office results did not show any leukocytes in my urine, but I was nitrite positive and pH was normal. I had taken an Azo prior to the appointment which can cause nitrites in urine, but given that there was no presence of leukocytes, I likely did not have a significant infection.

3. Received rx for sulfa drug without culture results.

4. Doctors office calls me 2 days later to tell me my culture was negative.

5. Took sulfa drug for 4 days and felt better.

6. Two weeks later: pain returned with a vengeance.

7. Went back to doctor. Got another rx for sulfa drug without culture results.

8. Took sulfa drug for 4 days and felt better.

9. Doctors office calls me 2 days later to tell me my culture was negative.

10. For 4 weeks I felt better and had no symptoms.

11. Wake up one morning and bladder is on fire again.

12. Head to the doctor and get a rx for sulfa drug without culture results.

13. Start taking sulfa drug.

14. Doctors office calls 3 days later to tell me my culture was positive for e-coli that is resistant to sulfa drug.

15. Get rx for Macrobid and take that for 2 weeks.

16. Feel better for about 6 weeks.

17. Another UTI hits and get a referral to urologist.

18. Culture is negative.

19. Urologist confirms normal anatomy, complete elimination, etc.

20. Urologist offers me the following options:

a. Take low dose antibiotic for 6 months

b. Take antibiotic prophylactically (as needed)

c. Get my bladder scoped

21. I decline the above 3 options and go take matters into my own hands…

I love PubMed - PubMed is a free search engine accessing primarily the MEDLINE database of references and abstracts on life sciences and biomedical topics. The United States National Library of Medicine at the National Institutes of Health maintains the database as part of the Entrez system of information retrieval.

For weeks, I find myself on PubMed daily looking for data on all things UTI. One study that really peaks my interest came out of the Netherlands.

**For reference, the Netherlands and Scandinavian countries are FANTASTIC stewards for antibiotic use. It’s not common practice for antibiotics to be administered routinely for things like UTI, eye/ear/nose/throat infections. The reason for this is not only because of antibiotic resistance, but also because of the damage that antibiotics do to our immune cells. Don’t get me wrong here, antibiotics absolutely have their place, but should not be taken unless ABSOLUTELY necessary (and the bacteria is known and culture shows it responds to the antibiotic you are about to take) and by that, I mean life and death necessary or if you have an infection that your immune system can’t eradicate on its own.

Ok, so back to this study. This study details the results of holding back treatment of UTI’s with antibiotics until culture results have returned. Usually takes 48-72 hours for culture results. The patient is sent home with instructions to drink a lot of water, urinate often and take Azo as needed. By the time culture results returned, most patients symptoms disappeared, and they rarely had another UTI. This goes back to the pre-antibiotic era when people got UTI’s, they suffered through it, healed and then never got another one. Why? Because their immune systems could do their jobs and developed antibodies, particularly in the protective lining of the bladder preventing bacteria from being able to “hook”.

More about antibiotic damage: For the most part, folks are aware that antibiotics kill bad bacteria, but also our good bacteria. What most don’t know is that antibiotics can be particularly anti-inflammatory as well – therefore sulfa drugs had me feeling better. They suppress the inflammatory response which is what causes us pain with UTI’s even if they aren’t killing the bacteria. The anti-inflammatory abilities of antibiotics persist for days after cessation of use, so this can also explain why I suddenly woke up 2 weeks later in horrific pain all over again.

So why do our doctors go so quickly to antibiotics? A couple of reasons:

1. You are in pain and complaining of pain. They can be sued or lose their license if they don’t adequately treat pain in the US.

2. If your UTI does go septic or into your kidneys and they haven’t offered you an antibiotic if a UTI is suspected, they could be sued or lose their license.

Ultimately, it’s a “Cover Your Ass” situation that is doing a lot of damage.

All this said, the first thing I did was commit to never taking an antibiotic again for a UTI, UNLESS I developed the following symptoms: flank pain, nausea, headache, dizziness, and/or vomiting. These symptoms are indicative of a kidney infection which is absolutely life or death and needs to be treated ASAP as the bacteria is now likely moving into the blood stream. But, for regular old lower urinary tract infection (urethra and bladder), I vowed to suffer through. And you bet your ass, if I ever need to take an antibiotic again, I will not do so until a culture confirms the type of bacteria and the type of antibiotic it responds to. These drugs are NOT consequence free and we are dealing with increasing resistance all the time. (Side note: if you think that drug companies are rapidly bringing new antibiotics to market, you are wrong. Most antibiotics take about 10-15 years to make it through all FDA testing phases, making it a massive investment for drug makers for which they rarely see return. One drug company recently found an antibiotic that treated MRSA but went bankrupt trying to bring it to market). I cannot stress enough that you should absolutely NOT be taking antibiotics without test results or absolute need.

Enough on antibiotics, I think you get the point.

Next, I discovered in many studies that the notion of cranberry helping UTI’s is largely anecdotal, so I threw that idea out the window too. No more cranberry. In fact, cranberry is very acidic, so it can irritate the bladder further. And, sadly, most people think that drinking sugary cranberry juice is helping, but sugar is food for bacteria and empty calories for us. If your cognitive dissonance is well intact and you firmly believe in drinking cranberry, get cold pressed fresh cranberry concentrate – you can find this at health food stores in the fridges. Or, you can take a cranberry concentrate pill. If nothing else, it is full of vitamin C (a fantastic antioxidant), however, there is evidence that vitamin C in high doses is very irritating to a compromised bladder.

Additionally, I started taking high dose raw/live probiotics. 4-9 doses per day of this: https://www.gardenoflife.com/content/product/raw-probiotics-women/ I do this not only to repair my good bacteria colony from the antibiotic use, but to also promote the recovery of the immune cell damage I’ve done to my bladder. Make sure the probiotic you are taking is raw. Raw probiotics must be refrigerated as they are live and active. Shelf stable probiotics are simply not as effective, and I suspect you’re wasting your money if you use them.

I also take D-Mannose daily. 1000 mg twice per day, morning and night (2 grams or 2000 mg is the therapeutic dose for D-Mannose). You can find D-Mannose on Amazon or at your regular health food store like Whole Foods or a Co-op. D-Mannose is a simple sugar that has no impact to our blood glucose level. It’s reasonably harmless, but what it does is attracts e-coli bacteria away from your bladder lining. E-coli has tentacles that “hook” into our tissue, but apparently it prefers D-Mannose. We easily eliminate D-Mannose along with the bacteria when we urinate. Regardless of the type of bacteria that caused your last UTI (if you know at all), take this. Your bladder is compromised and give it all the weaponry you can.

Of course, drinking water is a must and I drink A LOT of it (about 1 gallon a day), urinate often and never ever hold it. I will literally get out of my car and pee on the side of the road if I must. Urinating is the key here. Nothing is more effective than the mechanical action of flushing bacteria out of our urinary tracts. I also make sure I pee at least 3 times before falling asleep after sex – if this means I stay up until whatever ungodly hour chugging water, I do it. Make sure you empty your bladder fully. A simple test at a urologist’s office can determine if you do this. If you leave any urine in your bladder, you might also be leaving bacteria in your bladder as well. To help with elimination, put your feet up on a stool when you sit on a toilet or squat on the toilet. Peeing is your lifeline, prioritize it.

Lastly, I have less sex. My guy and I like to marathon and sometimes have sex a few times a day. The friction alone causes damage to our delicate urethral, vulvar and vaginal tissue allowing bacteria to flourish. Don’t get me wrong, we still have great/fun sex, but try to limit it to every second day and only once. Also, when I got my last infection, I said no sex for 6 weeks – I need to heal. We didn’t make it 6 weeks, but we did make it 2 weeks (I couldn’t help it, he’s too damn sexy) and I can say that it helped immensely. If your partner puts pressure on you to have sex even though you are injured, get a new partner!!! No relationship is worth compromising your health (goes for mental health too). I’ve always been big on personal hygiene, but now I’ve stepped it up:

1. No overly scented soaps that contain sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate. I go with plant-based soaps that are scented only with essential oils. My guy does the same for me, because residue of awful soap can be left on the penis. I pack soap for both of us when we travel. That is how important this is.

2. NO LUBE – nothing water or oil based. Get on with more foreplay, but lube is just a vessel for bacteria to be pushed up into the urethra and stick there. Also, lube can disrupt your precious pH and natural flora both being your first line of defense. If you think coconut oil is benefitting your lady parts and preventing infection, you are incorrect.

3. No douches. Never have I used a douche, but I’m putting this here for you because douching disrupts the pH and bacterial colony of your vagina. If bad bacteria flourish in the vagina, they can infect your urethra/bladder.

4. Wash hands before touching genitals. Your UTI’s could be coming from bacteria on your hands rather than your genitals. I’d bet your hands are currently dirtier than your anus or vagina, to be honest. So, both you and your partner need to give your hands a good scrub with water and soap referenced in point 1 before touching each other. I now was my hands before AND after using the bathroom.

5. Pee and rinse your genitals after sex right away – if you are worried this is going to be embarrassing for you, get over that quickly and/or get a new partner who will support peeing and rinsing. My guy always checks in now and says, “good pee?!” and we are both equally happy when I’ve indeed had a great pee. Also, there is some evidence that semen can really irritate female genitalia, so get that out of there or have your guy ejaculate elsewhere.

6. Sleep naked or without anything tight fitting on against your genitals. Let them breathe! Air circulation is so important for limiting bacterial growth.

7. Change your underwear after a workout or excessive sweating. Our groins can be the sweatiest parts of our bodies, so don’t sit around in sweaty underwear – for a lot of women this means thongs. Our sweat is wet and what do bacterial love? Dark, wet and warm environments.

8. Cotton underwear only for regular daily wear. Cotton allows air circulation.

9. Wipe front to back. This pushes bacteria away from your urethra. When you wipe back to front, you introduce bacteria from your vagina and anus to your urethra.

10. If you are like me and fly a lot for work, shower as soon as you can after getting off the plane. Airplanes are absolutely disgusting and covered in ample e-coli, strep, staph and who knows what else…

Here is the kicker, none of what I told you is going to be an overnight fix and it’s a commitment – you will likely have to do this for the rest of your life.

First things first, your bladder needs to heal. This can take months. Inflammation is tricky and doesn’t go away overnight. Paired with the antibiotic damage a lot of us have done by blindly taking antibiotics, you might be looking at 6-12 months for the inflammation to subside. This just takes time. So be careful and delicate with yourself. It has taken a very very long time for my urethra and bladder to feel normal again.

In parting, UTI’s hurt and cause us to panic, but your body is designed to overcome them. No one knows your body better than you do, so pay close attention for signs of sepsis or kidney infection as I’ve noted earlier. If none of these concerning symptoms arise and your pain is reducing over the period of 3-7 days, your immune system is doing its thing. Chug that water and pee freely. Use Azo – I take up to 400 mg at a time despite the instructions on the package. The standard dose (usually 182 mg) does not help me at all. After two days of a lot of Azo, water and peeing, I rid myself of my UTI’s on my own.

Here is some great news: I don’t get UTI’s anymore and I’m confident that if you’re healthy and make some lifestyle changes, you can rid yourself of yours too without doing further damage to your health.

**I have gone over all of this with my urologist and GP and they love hearing about the success of it to pass on to their patients, but they ALWAYS document that they have offered me an antibiotic and that I have declined**

#uti #urinaryinfection #urinary tract infection

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douchebagbrainwaves · 6 years

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A WAY TO BE SILICON VALLEY

But boy did things seem different. Empirically it seems to be that the most important quality would be intelligence. It was supposed to be what Google turned out to be important, because a startup will put your friendship through a stress test. You'd understand your users well if you were using the software for them.1 Startup founders tend to be better at running their companies than investors. I was very excited at first.2 So it took me quite a while to realize I just wasn't like the people there. They never explain what the deal is with money. Maybe the increasing cheapness of startups will mean they'll be able to modify your dreams on the fly. Palo Alto in the evening, you see nothing but the blue glow of TVs. Overlooked problems are by definition problems that most people think don't matter. We're so different from VCs that we're really a different kind of animal that has moved into it.

Who knows how many bullets were in the gun they were playing Russian roulette with? Of course, you don't have a house or much stuff, but also because you're less likely to have serious relationships. You also lose less control. So I'm telling you in advance: raising money is so painful, why do we tell people not to?3 And that doesn't seem a wise move. If you're not a genius, just start a startup with someone you like, because a startup will put your friendship through a stress test.4 That makes judging startups harder than most other things one judges. If by the next time you need to fix. Joel Spolsky recently spoke at Y Combinator is as different from what happens in a series A round if you do, and since most founders are under 30, their living expenses are low. To survive it you need a set of techniques mostly orthogonal to the ones used in convincing investors, just as volume and surface area do. Raising $20,000 from a first-time angel investor can be as much work as raising $2 million from a VC fund.5 It's too early to say yet whether Y Combinator will turn out like Viaweb, but judging from the number of startups founded by people who know the subject from experience, but for doing things other people want.

A round you have to assume there was someone born in Milan with as much natural ability as Leonardo couldn't beat the force of environment, do you suppose you can? Sam Altman has it. No; all great cities inspire some sort of job, because everyone asks what you're going to start with what goes wrong and try to trace it back to the root causes. But I tried living in Florence when I was in college. In addition to the programming you do for your classes, why not undergrads? And the cost of dealing with them, but because progress in technology has made it much easier to start a startup just one year later, after I went to work at Yahoo. It's an exciting place. Now I see there's more to it than that. I'm not sure even Larry and Sergey, you can choose your pain: either the short, sharp pain of raising money—that they'll cruise through all the initial steps, but when investors in an angel round first.6 Even now I'm suspicious when startups choose SF over the Valley.7

Does it seem plausible that the people who write software are particularly harmed by checks. I said Oh, ok. However, startups usually have a fairly informal atmosphere, and there's always a lot that needs to have good software. More often than not the company comes to a standstill for months. As of this writing, Cambridge seems to be hard to start a startup, you get to compare how they all perform on identical tasks; and everyone's life is pretty fluid. So by caring more about money and less about power than Silicon Valley, New York, I was very excited at first. It's a knack for understanding users and figuring out how to give them what they want till the last moment.8 And when we're talking about startups we think are likely to succeed, what we find ourselves saying is things like Oh, those guys can take care of themselves. Within about three minutes of meeting him, I remember thinking Ah, so this answer works out to be. He said that in most companies software costing up to about $1000 could be bought by individual managers without any additional approvals.9 Even if you only have to imagine what would happen if they diverged to see the underlying reality. But if you look at a company like Google, it's hard not to be had for the asking.10

Within about three minutes of meeting him, I remember thinking Ah, so this answer works out to be the best supplier, but falls just short of the threshold for solvency—which will of course have been set on the high side, since there is no recovery. When we first started Y Combinator we have some kind of answer for, but not about observing proprieties. Plus in college you don't yet have to face the hardest kind of work—discovering new problems to solve. New York, and Boston. Otherwise their desire to lead you on will combine with your own desire to be led on to produce completely inaccurate impressions. Their expertise is mostly in business—as it should be, because that's the kind of single-minded, almost obnoxiously elitist focus on hiring the smartest people are, even if that means living in an expensive, grubby place with bad weather.11 How much is that extra attention worth?12 Because super-angels were initially angels of the classic type.13 But even if we could somehow magically save people from moving, we wouldn't.14 It will vary enormously from one partner to another.15 Instead of building stuff to throw away, you tend to want every line of code to go toward that final goal of showing you did a lot of development over the past couple decades.16

Not at all. VCs have been getting a lot faster. If you know your peers are going to be when you grow up. What do they have to be a 2 week interruption turns into a 4 month interruption. You'd understand your users well if you were using the software for them.17 There is a danger of having VCs in an angel round: the so-called signalling risk. If accelerating variation in productivity is accelerating. Does that mean you can't start a startup, is probably a startup. Brandeis said We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few thousand people seems big enough.18 If they think your startup is lame, aren't they probably right?

So have we just shown, by reductio ad absurdum, that it's false that economic inequality should be decreased, I shouldn't be helping founders. And indeed, that might be a good idea for a company, and his friend says, Yeah, that is a near certainty. Often they are, the more likely this is to happen. This was why they were trying to get people to start calling them portals instead of search engines. It would make sense for super-angels. I mentioned, a pretty bad judge of startups. He always seems to land on his feet.19 The other thing you get from work experience is an understanding of what work is, and part of the confusion is grammatical. In these the best practitioners aren't conveniently collected in a few big successes. Does it seem plausible that the people who write software are particularly harmed by checks.

But when Bill Clerico starts calling you, you may find you get surprising results.20 We get all the paperwork set up properly so there are no external checks at all.21 New York.22 Raising a traditional series A round is from a mezzanine financing. They know they want to do. But increasingly it means the ability to get things done, with no excuses. The new breed are themselves those people. When they'd been independent, they could release changes instantly. Investors like it when they can help a startup, is probably a startup. At YC we use the phrase ramen profitable to describe the situation where you're making just enough to pay your living expenses.

Notes

This essay was written before Firefox.

The hardest kind of people who want to save money, you won't be trivial. Not even being Genghis Khan is probably 99% cooperation. Investors are fine with funding nerds.

But their founders, because any story that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding language. They did turn out to be naive in: Life seemed so much a great thing in itself deserving.

But it isn't a quid pro quo. Japanese. I'm not saying, incidentally, that probably doesn't make A more accurate metaphor would be vulnerable both to attack the A P successfully defended itself by allowing the unionization of its completion in 1969 the largest of their hands thus tended to make you feel that you're not consciously aware of it.

Part of the next three years, it might be 20 or 30 times as much income. Programming in Common Lisp, which has been decreasing globally.

The New Industrial State to trying to deliver these sentences as if they'd been pretty clever by getting such a statement would merely be eccentric. The problem is that it's bad. As the art business? Add water as specified on rice cooker.

Our founder meant a photograph of a lumbar disc herniation as juicy except literally.

This of course.

One father told me about a form that asks for your work.

Sometimes founders know it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. I hadn't had much success in doing a small seed investment in you, they only like the difference between surgeons and internists fleas: I once explained this to some founders who'd taken series A in the US is the extent we see incumbents suppressing competitors via regulations or patent suits, we could just expand into casinos than software, we don't have to track ratios by time of day, thirty years later Jim Ryun ran a 3:59 mile as a percentage of statements. I've said into something that doesn't seem to be careful here, because by definition if the sender happens to compensate for another. Several people have historically done to their returns.

A variant is that in fact had its own. 54 million, and yet managed to screw up twice at the mercy of circumstances: court decisions striking down state anti-recommendation. FreeBSD 1. Managers are presumably wondering, how much of the potential series A from a few stellar exceptions the textbooks are not more.

It would have seemed to someone still implicitly operating on the other cheek skirts the issue; the defining test is whether you want to save money, then you're being starved, not because it's a book or movie or desktop application in this respect.

You'll be lucky if fundraising feels pleasant enough to answer the first type to go away, and Reddit is Delicious/popular is driven mostly by people trying to work your way up. Other highly recommended books: What is Mathematics? Sullivan actually said form ever follows function, but those specific abuses. More generally, it may seem to have figured out how to succeed at all is a constant multiple of usage, so presumably will the rate of change in how Stripe felt.

Economically, the technology business.

Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference.

The philosophers whose works they cover would be far from the other direction. I'm using these names as we use have a cover price and yet in both Greece and China, Yale University Press, 2005. So if they miss just a few hours of advice from your neighbor's fifteen year old son, you'll have to spend all your time on a wall is art.

Often as not the shape of the next one will be better for explaining software than English.

There need to.

Internally most companies are also much cheaper when bought in bulk. It also set off an extensive biography, and credit card debt is a significant startup hub. What we call metaphysics Aristotle called first philosophy.

So how do you know about this trick, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from dishonesty by the Robinson-Patman Act of 1982, which are a handful of ways to get all you know about a startup to engage with slow-moving organizations is to write every component yourself, if your true calling is gaming the system, which is as blind as the average startup.

So you can probably write a new version from which a few of the company really cared about doing search well at a discount to whatever the valuation a bit misleading to treat macros as a definition of property without affecting and probably also encourage companies to build their sites.

It wouldn't pay. VCs should be clear. But a couple years. The shares set aside a chunk of stock the VCs should be working to help the company really cared about users they'd just advise them to private schools that in practice is that they consisted of 50 pairs that each summed to 101 100 1,2003.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #Common #startup #extent #steps #cheapness #thing #A #judges #software #bulk #book #Bill #li #Add #lumbar #lot

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Qigong For Happiness, Health And Vitality

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/qigong-for-happiness-health-and-vitality/

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Ideally, you’d learn Shaolin Qigong directly from me or another suitably qualified qigong instructor – but the truth is: it’s hard to find good Qigong instruction and few people are able to travel around the world once or twice a year, like I did, to learn from a great teacher.

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Each week over the Internet you will receive clear video tuition and written instructions that build systematically on the week before. This course has been structured in such a way that it is easy to follow and does not require any ‘quantum leaps’ in your understanding.

It is suitable for the complete beginner who is brand new to Shaolin Qigong and for those who’ve been practicing Qigong for a few years, but who want to deepen their understanding.

Over 22 Weeks you will receive via the Internet:

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Each week I’ll show you a new Qigong exercise and explain the main benefits you’ll gain from it. I’ll teach you the form first, then I’ll show you how to add the breathing and I’ll show you how to practice it as Qigong, not just as gentle exercise. Using video tuition and clear written instructions, I make it as easy for you as possible.

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I want to offer you the opportunity to try out the first 2 weeks of my 22 week Qigong Secrets Home Study Course for just $4.95. In the last 18 months, over 600 people have successfully completed the Qigong Secrets Home Study Course. Here’s a very small selection of what they have to say:

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What is Qigong – A clear explanation of Qi, without which Qigong makes no sense what so ever. What does Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) have to do with Qigong?

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The Qigong Secrets Home Study Course is not available at Amazon, eBay or anywhere else. You can only get it here. To activate your 2-week trial membership please click once on the button below.

By clicking the ‘Activate’ button you agree to pay $4.95 to be enrolled in the 14 day trial for the Qigong Secrets Home Study Course and after the trial expires you agree that your card will be charged $27 a month, for 5 months, or until canceled

Once I receive your details you’ll be taken to a page where you’ll complete your access to the exclusive members area. And rest assured, I’ll notify you a few days before your 2-week trial ends so you can decide whether you wish to continue or not. Though I’m pretty certain you’ll want to.

I look forward to sharing the Secrets of Shaolin Qigong with you, I wish you every success with your practice and taking back the power for your happiness, your health and your well being.

Kindest regards

Marcus James Santer

As of June 2019: 2,118 people from 49 countries have taken the Qigong Secrets Home Study Course since I created it in 2009

P.S. Shaolin Qigong is China’s 1500 year old stay young secret. It’s easier to learn than Tai Chi, less strenuous than Yoga and gives better results than meditation… In just 15 minutes a day.

Join the exclusive Qigong Secrets Home Study Course and discover how to:

Naturally feel more energised, fresh and alive.

Improve, maintain and develop your health.

Feel more confident.

Wake up your bodies NATURAL healing power.

P.P.S. Over 22 weekly Qigong lessons you’ll receive 214 pages of pdf notes, 8 hours of video tuition, 5 powerful bonuses and discover:

19 of the best Qigong exercises.

The most powerful tool in Qigong that hardly anybody knows about.

The only illness there is and how Shaolin Qigong overcomes it.

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P.P.P.S. The Qigong Secrets, 22 Week Home Study Course is not available at Amazon, eBay or anywhere else. You can only get it here. Most people will never know that they can learn how to be healthy, happy and full of vitality and that it is no more difficult than learning how to brush your teeth. Don’t miss out on this opportunity, to practice one of the worlds most powerful health defence arts.

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maximumsunshine · 7 years

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Tagged by: @helpmeiminhighschool - like two days ago. But I’ve been super busy. Now I have about 40 minutes to kill so I’m ready!

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag blogs you’d like to get to know better!

1. Nicknames: Um mine are 1 shots like only one person is allowed to call me them. Savi calls me Kare. No one else can. My spouse calls my Karebear. No one else can. Though for a while, when she was younger, like 4, my 6yo called me that too. It was super cute.

2. Gender: Agender, gender fluid. Something like that.

3. Star sign: Sag

4. Height: 5′6″ish??

5. Time: 2:22pm hold your breath!

6. Birthday: November

7. Favourite bands: Um. I don’t really have favorite bands. I’m just ... weird. I like songs and there are some I’ll always jam to. But I may not like the band as a whole.

8. Favorite solo artists: Eh, see above.

9. Song stuck in my head: This is Halloween. Thankfully it’s actually Halloween, But this doesn’t always correlate.

10. Last movie I watched: Um... American History X. It was intense and very relative to today even though it came out when I was in high school forever ago.

11. Last show I watched: I... I watched Your Lie In April with my spouse. I don’t really watch much media. But I have a standing date night and we watch things and cuddle.

12. When did I create this blog: Not entirely sure. According to my archive April of 2014.

13. What do I post/reblog: I have a queue that posts a new animal, mostly exotics, every hour 24/7. Then I live blog all sorts of things.

14. Last thing I googled: The death rate of measles. It was for a science paper. Vaccinate your ducking kids! People die of measles, they won’t die from autism even if vaccines did cause autism. Which there is no, zero, none, reputable scientific evidence that vaccines cause autism.

15. Do I have any other blogs: I have a WordPress. www.walkingtheborderline.com I hardly write over there anymore, but it’s my mental health blog.

16. Do I get asks: Occasionally, and I love each one! < same fam

17. Why I chose my url: So my sister almost died. She needed a liver transplant and almost didn’t get one. I made this blog, or at least this url, while she was dying. So it literally translates to don’t forget me, sister (should you die and go to the afterlife) also her favorite flower is the forget-me-not so it had an extra layer of meaning. I’ve thought about changing it now that she’s saved, but it’s what all my mutuals and friends know me as, and I don’t like change. And really I’m rather fond of this url.

18. Following: 900-1000 it fluctuates daily. I unfollow on a whim and follow jsut as easily.

19: Followers: 413

20. Average hours of sleep: 9-12 depending on what day it is

21. Lucky number: I don’t have one.

22. Instruments: I played the flute for years but I was never as good as I wanted to be at it.

23. What am I wearing: Dress. Black on top, and pink with sequins on bottom. This is normal for me. I’m at work.

24. Dream job: I want to teach psychology and I want to be a therapist.

25. Dream trip: Either exploring different places around Europe, or just going somewhere and being able to explore with my friends < same fam

26. Favourite food: pasta

27. Nationality: American

28. Favourite song(s) right now: This is Halloween. It’s the time of year.

29: Last book read: A short story called Knit One Girl Two! It’s an amazing wlw (and Jewish) love story written by Tumblr user @shiraglassman You can get it on Kindle for only a couple of dollars and you should pick it up! It makes for a wonderful and light afternoon read!

30. Fictional universe you’d want to join: I’m pretty ok with this universe. If I could just send a few choice (bad) people to an AU of my choosing.

I’m tagging: @theangriestlittleunicorn I’ll let her start this going through the frat.

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buckner-in-australia · 7 years

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Day 24: June 19, 2017

HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY ASHLEY!

This morning is one of the mornings I've been looking forward to in Australia: our tour of the Sydney Opera House!

As a former performer, I had always dreamt of seeing the opera house in person, and now this dream is finally coming to fruition! Before knowing much about the opera house, I assumed that it just contained one huge concert hall with beautiful architecture and acoustics. Little did I know that I was both right and wrong. The SOH is an architectural master piece in every way. Taking inspiration from ancient Mayan temples in Mexico, Jorn Utzon used the staircases as the foundation for his masterpiece. By incorporating the sails, waves, and shell shapes the harbor produces, Utzon found this to be the ultimate visual icon for a country yearning for an emblem to be recognizable on a global scale. Y'all I learned so much about this building, I absolutely love it! And what better way to express ones love for something than investing in it?! Guess who got tickets for their show Hot Brown Honey on Thursday! The last show I saw was Wicked last year so it is due time for another. Also who all can say they saw a show at the opera house?! And say that it features Aboriginal women?? Not many at all lol!

After the SOH tour we went to The Rocks Centre to learn more about the indigenous peoples of this region known as the Rocks. I appreciate all museums but I especially appreciate museums that showcase Aboriginal culture. As many minority groups, Aboriginal peoples are usually clumped together as if there are no distinctions between any of the tribes/clans. I loved this museum because it showed how the harbor shaped the lives of the natives and how the environment was shaped by them. I could've stayed in that museum for hours even though it was much smaller than the others we've visited.

Once we were finished touring the museum we broke for lunch then met up for an Aboriginal Heritage Walking Tour of the Rocks Area. I absolutely love activities like this. I learned so much about their way of life and how the colonists devastated all arenas of their live. The two biggest points of the conversation that struck me were our guides way of speech and just how much the Aboriginal people of the area shaped the land. Before we started the tour, our tour guide gave reverence to the elders past and present, and for the female elder that relayed all her knowledge to them. Everything was as if she was speaking through him. Everything was an elaborate story of interconnectedness and dependence. The story never ended nor did I want it to. I wanted to know everything. As we wondered throughout the area our guide acknowledged just how long his people have been on this land comparing it to western civilizations. It's literally like from the Great migration from Africa the Aboriginal people stayed down here and molded the land into what they needed it to be. For instance he made a connection how the culture of the harbor is that during a certain time of year they would pat the waters where the dolphins would come in as a form of communication between them. He expressed how after generations of this culture evolving there were also generations of dolphins who now had this knowledge engraved into their conscious. This knowledge allowed for connectivity and dependence on levels imaginable. Breathtaking isn't it?

It was also interesting seeing actually Australian ochre because tribes of Africa use ochre as well. For those who do not know, ochre is a natural substance that can range from yellow, reds, oranges, to white that is used for its pigments. It was also interesting thinking about how the middins, sacred Aboriginal collections of seashells from centuries, were demolished by convicts to make the cement to hold the building of The Rocks aka Old Sydney together. Could you imagine that day? I know there was great mourning and would've been a spectacular sight if it was still present today.

Even though the tour was amazing, afterwards your girl had to take a nap. Even though Sydney is not as fast pace as Melbourne, being on the ground easily wears down on your energy levels. After the nap, Ash, Morgan, Kayla, and I headed to Darling Harbor for a nice dinner looking onto the harbor. At dinner Kayla had kangaroo for the first time. I was debating it but they said that it is only its best prepared at medium rare. I'm just like I might as well just bite into the kangaroo if that's the case lol. Since that won't be happening anytime soon, I just took a nice photo of her dish and lived vicariously through her lol. After dinner, y'all know what the business was. We headed back and did some homework and then were soon floating in the clouds of our dreams.

Things I've learned - SOH built in 60s and opened in 1973 - The "Spherical Solution" - Cultural image recognizable on a global level like the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty - Competition in 1956, winning number 218 - Evokes cliffs and sails - Foundation imitates the base of the Mayan Yuccan temples - Took 20 years and 10,000 workers and absolutely no deaths even without safety harnesses - Initially 3 years, 7 million then 16 years and 102 million - left in 1966 because the new government wanted to demote him to an advisor because construction took too long. He left after the sails and foundation was complete - Will Harry Potter movies in the concert hall and have a symphony playing the sound track live - 10,000 organ pipes behind the visible 200 - They close down concert halls for 18 months for renovations which will coast 220 million will be the Concert Hall, Drama Theater, Corridors - Playhouse first acted as a space to play surfing movies - 1000 rooms and 300 corridors - Current Sydney winter weather is Germany's summer - Utzon's son and daughter are both architects and are both still active in the renovations and building process of the SOH - 2,000 shows and over 2 million visitors

Things I’ve learned pt 2 - An elder taught them what to say everything is revered and had to be perfect - Boundaries are natural land formations like rivers and mountains - The rainbow serpent shed his scales to gives us colors - Different totems plants or animals. Must know everything about the totem and then informs their siblings of such - No left or right you move toward the water or toward the land. By doing that you'll never get lost - Tribal names reflect the region and what they are known for padigal from the padigal river etc. - Pattern of weaving is found discretely within the plant itself. It's inherent - Dolphins would recognize the sounds bc for generations people would whack the water and for those generations the dolphins became in tune to the noise at that time of the year - Connectivity - 120,000 years ago continuous uninterrupted culture of the indigenous people of Australia - Tribal, men, women totems - Dots are desert people, lines and hatches are water people - Rock carvings are still present in Sydney one is a giant whale bc whales would come into the other harbor. South of Bondi there's a shark. The markings reveal knowledge about the land the food plants animals breeding areas - Air condition in SOH comes directly from the ocean and the ocean stays the same temp year round - Know totem and it's interaction - Australia gets more snow than Switzerland because the mountain range is so expansive - The importance of sandstone - Sacred area where shells were collected for centuries were ground into mortar for old Sydney - Harbor is a flooded mountain range from the ice age - The culture of the people resonates throughout the environment, the landscape is shaped by the people. Some rivers will not form without the bush fires etc

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yourcertainstudentlight-blog · 6 years

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How much are you paying for car insurance?

Rental car insurance?

I want my sisters friend to rent a car for me, because i am only 19. But i want to make sure if i buy rental car insurance that i will be covered because she wont be with me. Anything helps""

Total lost car INSURANCE?

I own a 1997 dodge intrepid std 4 dr sedan 6cyl gasoline 3.3 liter 4 speed in fair conditions cd player no rust with 197,242 miles. My car was was in a hail and tornado damage where the hood has a dent and the driver and passanger side have dent and the trunk. I have full coverage insurance and they telling me that my car was total last i love my car and i spent alot of money fixing it and it drives great no problem. So I was trying to get some help from some one that could tell me how much is my car worth so they wont give me less money and if they offer me less what could I do. I am not trying to bew greedy but i do love my car and spent alot of money on it. I would rather get it fix . PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HELP ME""

How much is errors and omissions insurance in california?

How and what is cheap auto insurance?

How much would car insurance go up if...?

My family and I are just trying to get a ballpark idea of how much my sister's car insurance would go up if we made a claim on an accident she had. She was in a mall parking lot and pulled out to make a left turn. I think she didn't really see a car coming, but I also think the car was zipping around the lot at a too-fast speed. My sister got hit in her driver's door and needs a new door and the frame of the car needs pulled out. There are no witnesses to really show who's fault it is, and I think it's a little of both judging by how much damage there is on her car (the other driver had to be going fast). There is no damage on the other person's car. It costs about $1500 to get it fixed (just the bare minimum - a new door from a junkyard and fixing the frame, just to make it safe and sealed, there will still be some dents). We're debating on claiming it or not because there is a $500 deductible. She is 25 years old and hasn't had an accident before. How much do you think the insurance would go up and how long would it stay up? Would it be worth it to claim it or should she just pay cash for the damages? Thanks!""

If I have proof of insurance but driving a friend's car who doesn't have insurance...?

Can I get a ticket for not having insurance? I was pulled over while driving a friend's car and received a ticket for not having proof of insurance. I had proof of insurance for my car in my wallet, and I showed it to the officer. He told me there needed to be proof of insurance for the car I was driving as well. Anybody know if this is true? I'm in Washington State for the record.""

Car insurance lowering (LEGALLY!!!!)?

right, i best tell the whole story. im 17 in a few months, so my parents have given me 5,000 for a car and insurance, which i thought would be plenty for something decent. however, as i have to insure the car myself (no fronting), and even a group one pile of c**p costs over 3,000 to insure. i know i could take pass plus, but are there any other ways to lower the insane premiums legally? and are there any insurers who give a good price for new drivers? thanks for the help :)""

Advice about car insurance in Ohio..paying way too much?

I reside in OH. I have insurance through progressive, my payments are about $230/month. I do finance my vehicle so it's necessary to have full coverage, I do have GAP insurance through my car dealership. OK. I have a ticket and 2 at fault accidents on my record (one really wasn't my fault) both under $500 claims... ANYWAYS, I know people who have DUI's that have lower car insurance than I do and I am a good driver, ugh. Is there any sugesstions on ways to lower my car insurance? I know eventually they will drop off but the last accident is on until April 2012 the other will drop August 2011 and the ticket will be gone October of this year. I am paying a mortgage, condo fees, a car payment that I just aquired January, this new insurance payment which is like an additional car payment (it was $100 before getting full coverage), and the obvious other bills. I am so strapped for cash, is there any ways to lower this fast or any good companies in OH that can give me lower price?""

Mobile Home Insurance in Florida?

I am having a LOT of difficulty finding Mobile Home insurance in Florida (nobody will insure us at a reasonable rate due to hurricanes). They are brand new Mobile Homes.... Original Premium was $1138.00 a year. We are having issues with this company & are getting quotes well over $2,000 now! That is a HUGE difference! Does anybody else know where else we can get insurance???""

What is the best low cost car insurance in california?

we have a 2004 honda odessey and a 96 acura, and our 17 yr old will also drive""

Whats the average cost for teenage car insurance?

im going to get my permit soon and i would like to know what the average teen car insurance cost is.

Best school to prepare for my life and accident/health insurance licensing exam?

I need to start my 52 hour training to get licensed in California for life, accident and health. Which is the best school to prepare me for the exam? There are so many online, however I want one with a high pass rate.""

Second driver for my parents car insurance?

well im a full time college student so i can't pay for my car insurance at the moment. whats the requirements for putting myself as a second driver to my parents car? ive had one car accident and been cancelled twice in my own name to 2 different car insurance. (family member passed away and i had to use the cash to go abroad) anyways.. will that effect me to putting me as a second driver to my parents car?? .. (with their name on the car) i mean.. my parents will pay for me so i dont see the problem for me getting rejected by the insurance for my prior non payment cancelation. please help me.

What happens if I lapse on my car insurance for a day ?

I read some forums online and it seems pretty heavy. Right now I am out of work and I am living on unemployment insurance. I can barely make payments using that. Anyway my car insurance is supposed to be cancelled this monday at 12:01A.M. standard time. I called them today to make a payment . But the local office is closed and the main office said they can't take anything less than the premium which is - $792.38. I can't pay that right now. That's out of the question. I want to be able to make the monthly payment on it so I won't get cancelled and get a lapse on my car insurance . What is a lapse and how will it affect me. because it seems like there is absolutely NO OTHER CHOICE , i have right now than to just wait for monday and call them to find out that it's cancelled and worse if they said , Since it's cancelled they can only accept the Whole Premium!! My new policy renewal date is from Oct 09 , 2010 to April 09, 2011 according to the id card But what happens if there is a lapse in my coverage? Can i be arrested or my license suspended because of this??""

Do I need car insurance the moment I get my provisional license (CA)?

I'll be going out for my provisional drivers license tomorrow, and I was wondering whether I need car insurance if I do get my provisional license. My parents are planning to allow me to get my provisional license, but won't add me to their policy until a year down the road. Am I allowed to drive alone with my provisional license as long as the car I'm driving is insured by my parents? (California)""

Will a honda accord coupe have higher insurance than a sedan. (for a 16 year old)?

for my first car i am debating a mazda 3, a toyota camary or a handa accord coupe (2 door). how much higher is insurance on a honda accord coupe than a 4 door for a 16 year old driver. will it be rediculous. Also, my parents have a 7k spending limit and i have found some with under 100k mies. how long will they last if i treat it right?""

Re: car insurance...?

My husband's name is the only one listed in the car insurance. I recently just got my driver's license, should I include my name in the insurance? What's the advantage or disadvantage of doing that? Would our insurance payment increase?""

How is the auto insurance for a Mazda 3i?

My first car, I have 1 speeding ticket on my record and two accidents, both not my fault. I have USAA insurance through my dad. How much do you think I'll pay a month?""

Car insurance- insurance not renewed.?

A month ago my car insurers send a letter saying my policy wouldn't be renewed when it ends in November. reason, there weren't dealing with the agency. now I have two cars, one having abs problem so wasn't driving it but was paying for both. Am getting a new insurance company but wouldnt add the problem car till I get money to repair it. its not driven and want to save that wasted money to repair it. Am I right.""

Ticket for no proof of insurance in FL?

I received a ticket for no proof of insurance, i did not have the card on me at the time but i do have insurance. When i go to court, will i have to pay the fine or will the ticket be thrown out?""

Car accident with no insurance?

What are some sites to do a comparison on car insurance?

I'm a 21 year old college student and a worker at a fast food restaurant who lives in California. I'm planning on getting a car soon in the future but I want to find out on where I'm at when it comes to payments in car insurance. Is there any comparison sites that can provide me at least some general ideals when it comes to car insurance payments?

I have cancelled my old insurance with a company and i need a renewal notice to get cheap insurance.?

i have called the old company is asking me why i need the renewal notice from them. they told me they have put it in the post but i did not receive anything. the only mail i received, was the sorry to see u go mail the next day after i cancelled the policy. With the notice i can show i have a 6yrs no claims discount. How do i get the old insures to send me the notice with the no claims or do i just tell my new insurers to contact the old ones. Please this is urgent. Serious answers only""

How much do you think car insurance will be...?

I've been to sites with free quotes but they always give me like 4.7k dollars a year with like 300$ monthly payments but my friends say insurance for them is like 1800. I am 18 male and drive a 4 door 2001 sedan I just started driving how much do you think it will be?

Question about my car insurance?

My current insurance is with state farm; just a question; if i got hit by someone without car insurance and is their fault; they dont have any money to pay for my damage; since i dont have the uninsure motor coverage but i have collision with deductible of 500 dollar; would my collision cover me after i pay the 500 dollar? i guess my real question is what is the point of having uninsure motor coverage when i have collision coverage? would i need both? or just collision would be sufficient?

How much is too much for insurance?

Hello. i own a 300zx twin turbo, i have modified it my self with some stuff.. but thats not importent right now. my question is that the cheapest insurance i can get for it with full coverage is around 250 a month..Im willing to pay for it, just because i love everything about this car.. but to my self i think its far too much. im 19 years old, and i was wondering what kinda stuff brings down the amount i would have to pay for insurance? ( i got my license when i was 18, ive had it for about a year now) thanks.""

Where i can get car insurance groups explain?

What is the cheapest insurance for beginning drivers in NC?

I'm about to turn 16 and get my license but I need proof of insurance before I can get it. What is the best insurance to get and how much will it cost?

Give three or more reasons why americans should not have health insurance?

what are three or more reasons why americans should not have health insurance

Can I get an auto insurance policy for rental cars only?

I often rent cars and end up paying insurance. My credit card covers collision damage waiver (CDW) but not liability, which is required by law in states like California. Is there a policy I can get from an auto insurance company that will give me liability for a good price? I'm tired of paying $10/day for something I never end up using.""

Car insurance in ontario?

Ok so im about to buy my first used car and i have no idea how getting insurance for your car works. im going to call around to find the best rate but do insurance companies normally make you pay anything up front? i was told that sometimes they make you pay for two months right away. is this true? i have enough for one month of insurance up front but i want to make sure i save enough money to do so if that is usually the case thanks.

Auto insurance claim?

I was backing my car up and hit a light pole. If I file a insurance claim is this considered Collision or Comprehensive?

What will an insurance company offer to settle for a possible neck injury?

I was rear-ended by another car. I reported to the insurance company of the person who hit me that my neck was a little sore. They offered me $700 to sign a release form without me even asking. I told the claims adjuster I needed to think about it. Short of getting a lawyer, what could I expect to be offered? I am sure insurance companys have a set amount that they will pay to get me to sign the release form. Anyone know about how much that would be?""

How much should a Hyundai Sonata lease and insurance be?

I want to lase a 2011 Hyundai Sonata Limited 2.0T fully loaded within the next couple of days. I've totaled it on HyundaiUSA.com and it cam out to $30,195. the dealer said he would he down to $26,795. Their current promotion says you can lease a 2011 Sonata for 199/mo. for 36 months with $2,399 due at signing. I only want it for 24 months with $2,000 down. Any body have any idea what the lease rate or the insurance would be? Anybody whose leased a 2011 Sonata, please provide input. Thank you to everyone who answers!""

How much do you pay for your home owner's insurance?

I am doing a survey and this would really be helpful for me. Please let me know how much you pay for your home owner's insurance. If you pay monthly or yearly. The location of your home. The value of your home. How big your home is. If you have flood insurance. And what you have as your deductable.

""When buying a used car, what is the process of getting insurance for it?""

I live in Indiana, but am about to buy a used car that is in New York. I am going out there to pick it up and drive it back to Indiana. How do I go about insuring and licensing the car? This is my first experience with this. Do I need car insurance before I leave New York, or do I get that once I get it back to my home state and get it licensed and tagged? How long do I have before it needs to be insured? How long do I have before I need to get plates and everything for it? Where can I search on the internet to find more information about this, also? Thank you.""

What's the average price of homeowner's insurance in Las Vegas?

I know this is a vague question but what are some estimate homeowners insurance prices in Las Vegas? The house is worth 180k, its brand new (built 2008). No pets or children, three bedrooms, 1700 sq ft. My fiance and I are first time homebuyers and we have excellent credit. I just wanted to know if anybody had any ballpark numbers (I plan on contacting my current auto insurance provider soon, but I want to hear what other locals are paying so I know if I'm getting a good rate)... Thanks!""

How do I get a homeowners insurance for an LLC?

Me and a partner have an LLC under which we own the home we live in. We are now looking for a homeowners insurance but are having some difficulties finding one for an LLC. How do we go about this?

Does anyone have health insurance anymore?

Anyone? *chirp chirp chirp... I don't think many people do.

Where is a good place to get classic car insurance that will let me commute - not only use the car for shows?

Most insurance that I'm looking into for classic cars are not willing to insure your car if you commute to work and school. They only want to insure cars that are used in shows, parades, etc. I will not drive my car every single day to work...maybe a few times during the week. I bought the car to enjoy it, not let it sit in the garage!""

How much will insurance go up?

I'm 20 living in NJ. Been driving for about 2 years and under my parents insurance policy. I have no points on my license other than the ones that you start out with.I've gotten 2 tickets before but neither of them were point tickets and neither of them went to insurance. This ticket I just received was for speeding (over by 9 MPH). About how much will my monthly insurance rate increase by?

What car is cheapest to insure?

I'm looking for a cheap car what is kinda cheap to insure kinda in the insurance group 1 i'm looking to spend about 700-1000

Is it worth getting motorcycle insurance?

Im about to buy a Drz400sm with a loan. I like to know snice I have a loan should I get insurance coverage on it and what type of coverage like theft for sure im getting it if I do buy insurance. What other coverage should I get for it. I just turn 18 with a super clean driving history and Im planning to take a motorcycle safety course so how much will you believe insurance will coast me on the drz400sm. What are some cheap insurance companies too by the way?

Can a person get insurance on a car when the tag is in someones name?

can a person get insurance on a car if the tag is in someones elses name?

How pleased are you with your health care insurance?

Please rate 1-10 (1 being you do not have health care coverage and 10 you are very pleased Also Please give your age and nationality

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old boy in Iowa?

I am turning 16 soon, and I am planing to get a car. Before I do I want to know how much insurance is... Boy, 16, Unmarried.""

Car accident with no insurance?

'occasional driver' Car insurance?

Hi, I'm 18 and I'll be heading off to college in the fall and so won't be home very often. However when I am home I'd like to be insured on my dads car. I don't see the point in having to pay the same price for car insurance as someone who drives almost daily, so I wanted to know if there was a type of car insurance for the 'occasional' driver. I'll only be home on vacations, and even then I won't be driving all the time, but I really need a car insurance for when I do drive, mostly summers.""

Can I have an estimate on my car insurance?

I am an 18 year old male, in the state of Pennsylvania who is gonna buy his own car. I have never been in a car accident or gotten a ticket in the past 2 years I've been behind the wheel (with my moms car). I also have State Farm insurance. Can someone let me know how much It would cost if I got a car insured under my moms insurance? Or maybe if it could be cheaper for me to get my own plan? Thank you!""

Can a teen get his own car insurance in texas ?

can a 16 year olds get his own car insurance policy rather than just adding to the adult parents policy? also at what age can I am on my own car rather than just having it in the parents name? I live in texas .

Few questions on cars and insurance UK ONLY?

i live in the uk and im 16 but 17 soon after my tests and things i want to buy a renualt clio 1.2 and the insurance group is 3E. now is this a high insurance group for a 17 year old as a first car? also if you buy a car and put a body kit on it your insurance goes up. so if i bought a car put a body kit on it and then insured it would it be as much or will it still go up?

Rear ended someone.. how much to get fixed without insurance?

i just got my car like 6 months ago and i was with my friend and he had to stop suddenly cuz of something runnin out in the road and i wasnt paying attention and i rear ended him.. neither of us wanted to get the cops involved cuz he had someone in his car and just got his license which is illegal and i didnt want me insurance 2 go up http://i44.tinypic[dot]com/5obq8[dot]jpg can't link so just replace the [dot] with a period . thats a pic of the damage i dont think its too bad probably just need a new hood bumper fenders and lights right? also if i did end up going through insurance how much would it go up about im 17 yrs old? my mom is paying for it right now but she said if i ever get a ticket or anything that i cant get out of then i gotta pay the difference so idk if itll be cheaper this way or something

""I am turning 16 years, and i really want to drive a moped, how much will my annual insurance cost?""

I am turning 16 years, and i really want to drive a moped, how much will my annual insurance cost?""

How much would a person pay for car insurance?

Let's say I buy a BMW M5 made from the year 2006, how much would I pay for the insurance? Also, let's say it's a new car, too... If you just buy a brand new car, how much do you pay every month? (I'm doing a research... so, please help me)""

How good is the Insurance Business in Florida or Texas?

Hello dear people...I'm an Insurance Agent-Broker who would like to open an office in either of those states, can anybody please tell me how businesses are doing right now there?. I'd like to stay where I live in California, but it is crowded here, plus I'd like to start a new life...your inputs will be highly appreciated....""

Are young adults covered under their parents health insurance till 26 under the new Obama law?

Is it true that the new Obama law states that children/young adults will receive health insurance coverage until they are 26 even if they are not in school, married, and living out of ...show more""

Help in family health insurance in Indiana?

I have a family of 4, My wife and I make about $20,000 a year. Right now, we have to pay $350 a month for health insurance. We already applied for HIP insurance, but it've been 2 years, and they have no positive answers for us. I feel $350 a month is too expensive for us right now, this insurance only pay for us when we have to pay over $10000 at a hospital. For example, if we have to pay $14000 for health, we pay $10000 and they pay $4000 ; anything under $10000, they won't pay. Please help us with our situation, Are there any other options out there. Thank you very much""

My husband needs health insurance.?

My husband works full time but doesn't have insurance thru them. I'm pregnant and most outside health insurances won't cover him because his wife is expecting a baby. I want to know is his work health insurance any different. R they obligated to give him insurance reguardless if his wife is pregnant?;;

Where can I compare legal malpractice insurance like car insurance quotes?

I am a new lawyer and need to get receive coverage. Any attorneys out there know how much I'll pay? Who has good rates?

Cheapest car insurance possible for a new 17 year old male driver?

Cheapest car insurance possible for a new 17 year old male driver, any car. include all details includeing car, company etc""

Motorcycle Insurance 16yr Old?

I am 16, I am thinking about getting a crotch rocket, and just wanna know about insurance. State: Minnesota Year of bike: 1995-2005 I am thinking 650cc - 750cc I have experience on motorcycles (dirt bikes) I do realize their is some difference I have a grade average of B's or higher.""

Im looking for a car thats as fast as any normal 1.6 but is cheap on insurance?

Im 20 years old and i am looking for a car with the same acceleration or bhp as a normal 1.6 normal but i would like one that's cheaper on insurance

I want cheap auto insurance?

I am from canada and i want cheap auto insurance from where i will get this.

Would any car insurance company insure a 17 year old with a 1988 BMW?

I'm just curious if any insurance companies would insure a 17 year old 1988 BMW: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201230480212123/sort/default/usedcars/price-to/1000/body-type/convertible/price-from/0/make/bmw/onesearchad/used/onesearchad/nearlynew/onesearchad/new/keywords/sport/page/1/radius/1501/postcode/ct66ae?logcode=p I know it will cost a lot but I would like to know if it would be hard to find an insurance company that would accept a 17 year old to drive it under their policy!

Will car insurance effects right away when you call them?

I just bought a car, well imma get it tomorrow I have Infinity Insurance (not the car brand) I will get my car tomorrow, I was wondering If I call them tomorrow when I get car, to add my new car to the insurance car list will the insurance effects right away or later, because I'm going to call them not talk to them in person thank you""

Is it worth having private medical insurance if your in your 30s and healthy?

Proof of Insurance (NJ)?

Today, while driving home from school, an officer stopped me. I pulled over and proceeded to give him, my license, registration, and insurance. However, I was not given a ticket for speeding, but for failing to produce insurance. He told me that copies of insurance do not count, yet I gave him not only a copy, but the original which had been torn. Will I be charged with failure to produce insurance, even though I had a copy, and the torn original ?""

What is the average homeowners insurance cost of a 1000 sq ft condo?

Do I need car insurance...?

I have a car that will not run at my residence but is still in my name. Do I still need to have car insurance on it? I have a personal insurance that just covers me but not on any specific car. I live in Florida if that helps.

What is a reasonable cost estimate of business insurance for a cafe?

I'm working up some numbers to determine the financial feasibility of opening a small (1000-1200 sq ft) cafe. Starting out with myself and no more than 2 part time employees, what should I estimate for combined liability, equipment, workers comp insurance?""

Shopping for car insurance?

what are some good car insurance agencies out there?

Would the insurance for a 2004 or 2006 Ford Mustang V6 or V8 be affordable for a 16 year old male?

Car accident with no insurance?

Can you register and buy a (cheap) car with no license or insurance?

I want to know if i can register a very cheap car thats around 2,000 tops at a used car lot and buy it with no problems.What problems will i face isnt it easyier to get a cheap car like this then at a actual new dealer i have no license or insurance do i pick a dealer with in house financing the only thing they will most likely ask for is it to get registered can i do that im paying half down.?im 21 im getting my license in 2 weeks (and no i cant wait)""

17 year old car insurance question?

Okay. I'm gonna be getting my license in a few m onths (took driver's ed late) and I moved in with my grandparents this past summer when my family and I moved so I could stay in the general area/school and keep my job. So I live there Mon-Thur and Fri-Sunday I stay with my family. I was wondering, being thaf I'm a Junior in high school, am I able to be covered by my parents or grandparent's car insurance? I need some answers. Please & thank you!""

How much will car insurance run about for a 16 year old male who gets good grades and has taken drivers ed?

I am a 16 year old male who has taken driver's ed and gets good grades. I am going to be added to my parents insurance. About how much on average will it cost me per month? Please give me a guesstimate, and I do not want to go to sites for quotes. Thanks""

Motorcycle insurance?

I'm 18 years old and without taking all the time to go through and get a quote I was wondering what a ballpark guess would be for the amount it would cost for a year's worth of motorcycle insurance. The bike it would be for would be the Kawasaki Ninja 250R. It's a pretty small and compact sport bike with no too much power to spike my coverage prices I'm just concerned with my age the price will be relatively high. If anyone knows what state farm or geico is charging 18 year olds for low end start up sport bikes per year that would be great.

How much would insurace cost monthly?

Im 16 and im gettin a 2003 cadillac CTS when i get my licences and i have a few questions. The car is $10,932 how much would the down payment be also how much monthly plus insurance?""

Insurance on a Firebird?

looking for cars with the lowest insurance rates but idk anything about that... i know sports cars are more expensive. age, location, record and all that too.. but are firebirds generally expensive to insure?? and bc its older will it be less expensive?""

16 year old car insurance?

im about to buy a 1997 honda civic ex and i was wondering what my car insurance might be if it helps im a guy in florida and im 16 thanks

My car insurance is too high under parent's name?

My sister added her car under my mom's insurance and they pay for both cars $347 dollars 6 months for just liability coverage. When I tried to add myself to my mom ...show more

What accounts affected by liability insurance?

Can you rate these cars on insurance coasts?

I was looking at buying a car. I have selected a few cars that I was interested in buying, but I don't know the coasts of car insurance. Can you give me a price range or tell me terrible, bad, average, good, great. If you can give me a price range that would be great and thanks for the help. The cars are 2005 Nissan 350Z Coupe, 2006 Hyundai Tiburon SE, 2009 Mitsubishi Lancer ES, 2006 Audi a4, 2000 Hyundai Tiburon, 2002 Audi TT, 2004 Mazda RX-8, and 2010 Toyota Corolla.""

How will my first speeding ticket in Florida effect my insurance?

Ok I'm 19 and just got my first speeding ticket on the way to work today doing 9 miles over. So my question is how many points are added to your license for doing this much over and is there any way to avoid getting these points? If not, how will this affect my insurance? Is it going to skyrocket, even though this is my first speeding ticket ever?""

How much will my insurance be?

I found a 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse and im concerned about the insurance since im 16. sport cars= more expensive. Lets say if a Crown Vic was $130 a month, how much would a sports car be? I will also be on my parents insurance witch there is three cars already on there insurance so the cost will go down some i believe. If i maintain a B- or higher grade for school my insurance will go down an additional 10%.""

""If i damage a car by like 5,000 worth in damages how much will my insurance go up by?

im only 18 and still havent told my dad about it..this is my first accident..and i still have not yet recieved any word if the accident was my fault(accident happened 2 days ago) but what happened was i entered traffic from coming out a place into traffic and got hit...i mean i think it was her fault because i entered in traffic slowly and i assumed that she was speeding and hit me or tried passing me...i didnt just pop out into traffic because she would of have it me on my back znd i saw her car from a distance..there was a camera there i think is one of those pic/video camera for people who run red lights and the officer said that i couldnt use it which i dont get it what i plan to do is once i get word that it was my fault im going to pay for damages to my car by myself i just wanna know will my dads insurance billl be a BIG difference of like thousands i just feel anxious and nervous

Auto insurance renewal?

Hello all, My current auto insurance is ending next month and the renewal form just came in. Coincidently, I was offered a better deal from another auto insurance that was less than half of what I currently am paying. I called and check and it was the same coverage. My question is that do I need to let them know that I will not renew my current auto insurance with them? This is my first time planning on switching and I would like to know if there is any penalties or anything in general I should worry about.""

""1998 Honda civic, had a car accident, back tire smashed in back Axel is bent how much will this cost me?

Any chance my insurance company will decide to total it out?

""Would insurance be high for a 1999 VW Jetta? My first car, 16y/o girl?""

I'm looking at a 99 VW Jetta on Craigslist for $2000. Here's the exact listing: http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/cto/3371425857.html Obviously this would be added on to my parents car insurance since I'm still a minor. I have to pay my insurance though, so how much do you think it would be?""

What car insurance do you have?

Im trying to find one that's cheaper I recently have 21st Century. What's the name of your car insurance and do you like it?

How can i find the owner of the car and what insurance he's using?

Someone bumped into my car while I was working. I have a witness who gave me the license no. and I have reported this to the police but they said as it happened in a private car park, ...show more""

Can i go on someones insurance but drive a different car to them?

well i know i can be put on some kind of car insurance with someone like a family member but i herd that's only if i just drive there car. is there a way i can be put onto there insurance but Drive my own car. Or does anyone know a cheap car insurance company for young new drivers??? I've tried hundreds and there all saying around 2,500ish!!! which is ridiculous i might be young but i have a one year old and a new born child it is highly unlikely that i will be racing with friends, and putting myself in unsafe situations!!! my cars only Worth like 1000 so i refuse to pay for insurance that's costs more than my car!!!! Any kind of help would be nice!! Thank you :)""

Double up on individual health insurance?

Can you have more than one Health Insurance Plan for your self? I have to buy my own insurance, but even the best individual insurance is crappy and I wanted to now if people ever buy two insurance plans? The insurance i have now only lets me see the doctor twice a year. If I got another insurance plan would it pick up where the other left off?""

What car companies have the highest insurance rates?

Highest to lowest would be a good way to list them for me.

Do car insurance rate drop when one turns 25?

If so, how much? I'll be 25 in 3 weeks.""

Is there a place I can get affordable life insurance?

for someone who is terminally ill and not expected to live for another year?

Why is my car insurance so high at 18? How can I get it down?

I've just passed my test and learnt in a 1.4 diesel and I have a peugeot 206 1.4 hdi, I had insurance quote for 1800 a month ago and now they are saying its 3700 I don't understand what's changed in a month what's the best way to get it down, I'm going on my Nans policy as a named driver and registering the car in her name and its still 3700! Any ideas? Thanks in advance""

How can we get or is it possible to put a freeze for one or two years on health insurance cost?

I see BCBS is going up over 7% for 2011. Is there no stopping these rising costs? my poor pension.

Car accident with no insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-insurance-companies-tell-me-what-car-would-cheapest-louie-galindo"

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nancygduarteus · 7 years

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How Friends Become Closer

“Friendships don’t just happen,” says William Rawlins, a professor of interpersonal communication at Ohio University. “They don’t drop from the sky.”

Like any relationship, friendships take effort and work. But they’re often the last to receive that effort after people expend their energy on work, family, and romance. And as I’ve written before, as time goes on, friendships often face more hurdles to intimacy than other close relationships. As people hurtle toward the peak busy-ness of middle age, friends—who are usually a lower priority than partners, parents, and children—tend to fall by the wayside.

Our increasingly mobile world also strains friendship. In one study that longitudinally followed best-friend pairs, people moved 5.8 times on average, over 19 years. But it’s not just that people move frequently in the modern era—they also cover more ground than they ever have, historically. The epidemiologist David Bradley once looked at the “lifetime track” of four generations of his family. “Lifetime track” is a term zoologists use to describe the entire sum of an animal’s movements from birth to death. Bradley found that his great grandfather’s entire life took place “in a square of only 40 kilometers.” His grandfather’s lifetime track was about 400 square kilometers; his father’s was about 4000 square kilometers, and his own extended all over the world, for a 40,000 kilometer square.

“Thus in four generations the range of linear traveling has increased by a factor of 1000 and the area within which movement takes place has increased by a factor of one million,” Bradley wrote. “The experienced described here is not atypical.” This was in 1989—one imagines that between then and 2017 the average roaming range of humans has only grown.

This matters because when people move, their families may come with them, but they leave their friends behind. And even though extended, remote social networks are more accessible than ever for anyone with an internet connection, proximity still makes a difference. Moving is associated with shallower relationships, and people who move frequently are more willing to dispose of their friends, perhaps because they get used to losing them.

At the same time, there’s been a growing interest in exploring the complex dynamics of friendship. As people get married later, and the ranks of single women rise, more and more books and television shows have been exploring friendship dynamics.

But even if someone wants to make friends a high priority in their life, unlike with romantic relationships, for friendships there are fewer cultural scripts to follow to do the work of befriending someone, or making a friendship closer.

“The opportunities for friendship come with how people’s lives are organized,” Rawlins says. “When I talk to students, I say ‘Pay close attention to the habits you’re forming, because before you know it, you have organized your life in a way that doesn’t allow for the kind of friends that you would like to have.’”

Ryan Hubbard, who lives in Adelaide, Australia and works in “design for social innovation,” started a research project called Kitestring to try to figure out how people organize their lives to prioritize friendship, and some of the more specific ways that friendships get deeper. Later, they hope to use what they learn to fuel some sort of business or nonprofit venture aimed at better facilitating friendships. Kitestring recently put out a report of its findings from around 20 in-depth interviews, and 50 smaller interviews. While it’s not an academic study by any means—their methodology was closer to what companies do for market research—they came up with several interesting insights.

The first was that the more points of connection you have with someone, the stronger the friendship will be. “We think of friendship as a singular connection, but it’s a structure,” Hubbard says. A friend who you see in only one context—the office, for example—is likely to be a less close friend than someone who you see in many contexts, and connect with over many different things, rather than a single shared interest.

The second takeawaywas actually borrowed from existing research on romantic relationships. The psychologist John Gottman came up with the concept of “bids” in the 1990. “Bids” are small requests for connection—anything from a smile to attempting to start a conversation, to inviting your partner on a trip with your family. As Emily Esfahani Smith previously reported in The Atlantic, the more partners respond to each others’ bids by “turning toward” them—engaging and offering the requested connection—the stronger their relationship. The more they “turned away” from the bids, the more likely they were to get divorced, Gottman found.

In the interviews Kitestring did, Hubbard found that bids also deepened friendships, and could set off “a cycle of increasing vulnerability and trust.”

Kelci Harris, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto who studies friendship, says that bids seem “probably equally viable for friendship” as they do for romance and marriage. She thinks that’s a promising avenue for research—taking concepts from romantic relationships and seeing if they work for friendship as well.

But as far as getting that cycle going, “it does take some push from someone,” she says. “I think a lot of people, myself included, can sometimes get stuck. Like ‘They haven’t called me, so I’m not going to call them.’ If you want to talk to your friend just call them. You don’t have to play chicken about who’s going to take the first step.”

Rawlins, however, doesn’t care for the bid concept. “I don’t think of friendships in economic terms,” he says. “I don’t’ think about ‘investing’ in friends. I see friendship as an ongoing conversation. A way of literally coauthoring the story of our relationship.”

Another metaphor Rawlins doesn’t like is Kitestring’s third takeaway—the idea of putting friendships in “containers,” where friendships are easier to maintain if you create some kind of regular practice in which to hold them—a weekly dinner, or a monthly book club.

“I think friendships are more dynamic than to be placed in a container,” Rawlins says. “But I like the notion of rituals.”

One interesting way Hubbard uses the container metaphor is this concept of “repotting” friendships to make them closer, as you might repot a succulent that has outgrown its terracotta cup. “Sometimes you’ve got a friend at work, and you see them every day, but the pot that plant is in at work is quite small,” Hubbard says. “It’s going to reach the size of the pot, and that’s it. If you want it to be a bigger, deeper friendship, you need to repot it to a bigger context. You might need to bring them to your house. Or invite them to meet your family—that’s an even bigger pot.”

Regardless of the chosen metaphor, Rawlins has some similar advice. He recommends “taking the risk to express to someone that you’d like to do something with them outside of situations where you’re required to spend time together.”

Obviously you have to build up to it; it probably wouldn’t be advisable to try to start a strict weekly dinner date with a brand-new friend. Hubbard uses the terms “intention” and “air”—“intention” being earnest efforts to connect with someone, and “air” being the breathing room you give the relationship. “If you have a lot of trust in a relationship, it can bear more intention, and if you don’t have as much trust, you need more air.”

A lot of things about modern life make it easy for the air in a friendship overtake the intention. “I think the times we live in are really an obstruction to friendship, and it needs to be said out loud,” Rawlins says. “We are living in very very divisive times where the tenor of discourse in public places sets the tone for conversation and it works its way down very quickly to dyadic relationships.”

He also expressed concern about the “proliferating technological illusion of connection.”

“We live in a very sped up time where people are getting messages to multitask, to be doing several things at once, to in many ways not actually be where they are,” he says.

Harris disagrees, noting that social media can allow for a “constant chain of communication, wherever you are in the world,” with your closest friends. They both have a point: Technology can make friendships shallower, but it can also make them stronger, depending on how… intentionally… you use it.

I honestly lost track of the number of times I heard the word “intentionality” while reporting this piece. All it really means, Harris says, is putting effort into a relationship. And the fact of that effort is probably more important than the exact form it takes.

In a study that Harris did, the quality of the time friends spent together—specifically their self-reported depth of conversation, and the amount of self-disclosure—was linked to higher friendship satisfaction.

And you have to be realistic about your friends’ other responsibilities. Sometimes life is so busy that people may not be able to keep friendship from falling to the bottom of their priority list, much as they may desire otherwise.

“Part of the genius of friendship is that people respect and encourage each other to make their life the best it can be,” Rawlins says. “How do you do that in a way that respects the contingencies of each other’s lives while also trying to build in, if not a regular practice, the expectation that we’re going to see each other? It can be a challenging needle to thread.”

from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/08/how-friends-become-closer/538092/?utm_source=feed

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ionecoffman · 7 years

Text

How Friends Become Closer

“Friendships don’t just happen,” says William Rawlins, a professor of interpersonal communication at Ohio University. “They don’t drop from the sky.”

In the interviews Kitestring did, Hubbard found that bids also deepened friendships, and could set off “a cycle of increasing vulnerability and trust.”

“I think friendships are more dynamic than to be placed in a container,” Rawlins says. “But I like the notion of rituals.”

He also expressed concern about the “proliferating technological illusion of connection.”

“We live in a very sped up time where people are getting messages to multitask, to be doing several things at once, to in many ways not actually be where they are,” he says.

Article source here:The Atlantic