#2 - RE: depressing job search - I’m working on opening up my own small shop!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mieczyhale · 4 years

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a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone)

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise) my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough.

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol)

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so.

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie)

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

#might delete later?? probably?? havent decided.#maison speaks #tinysquidrachel

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tanmath3-blog · 7 years

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Konstantine Paradias is a writer by choice. At the moment, he’s published over 100 stories in English, Japanese, Romanian,German, Dutch and Portuguese and has worked in a freelancing capacity for video games, screenplays and anthologies.

People tell him he’s got a writing problem but he can, like, quit whenever he wants, man. His work has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize.

1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

While I can’t be 100% certain, i think I wrote my first story (by way of crayons on notepaper and sticker-rebuses) when I was about 5. It was a collaborative effort with my brother, who was 3, while we were rebooting one of our earlier imaginary playmates, DUCKIE. He wasn’t too bad, but he just lacked the oomph we needed to push him into a franchise.

So we ended up with KITTENCHILDE (first name Mordecai), the richest kitten in the world. He was born with a silver cat toy dangling in front of his face, hated work, controlled the world’s economy and was plagued with moocher relatives.

I didn’t really start working on writing another story until I was 14 and my English teacher at the time told me I was hopeless with the language, so I started writing a pretty atrocious, 200k word fanfic starring every character from every game I’d played so far. I’ve since expunged it from the internet since it was absolute cringe but hey, it got the ball rolling.

2. How many books have you written?

Counting all the stuff that didn’t make it off the ground? I’d say around 6, at last count. The first one was a fantasy western story about an android assassin in a steam punk world. It was called STONE COLD COUNTENANCE and it had voodoo and ancient sorcery and demon dogs but it was so poorly written that I had to make it go away.

The second one was a novel that’s currently stuck in rewrite hell, which began as a post apocalyptic body horror novel. I started working on it in 2010 and have since taken off 50k words, added another 30k, re-worked the setting and now it’s slowly turning into the story of a motorized Mongol Horde coming back in the wake of a fossil fuel apocalypse. I call it the CHROME HORDE and I hate it and love it in the same breath.

The third once is a YA novella that’s still stuck between publishers, titled TEENAGE BADASS. It’s the story of Finn, a monster hunter born, who chooses to leaves the magical comfort of her weird family to venture out into the strange world we call our own. Also, it feature time travelling Nazi werewolves.

My fourth book is SORRY, WRONG COUNTRY, which I am immensely proud of, on account of how I was working on it for 8 years and made it happen. It’s a collection of short stories about everyday weirdness in the heart of post-recession Greece.

My fifth book is a pet project I’ve always wanted to get down to, a novella that’s the first in a series I’ve always wanted to get on with. It’s titled VIOLENCE DAVE and it’s all power metal and space marine rage and all that good old ultra-violence.

And finally, the last one is FUTURESUCK, which is coming out by Sybaritic Press and people tell me it’s depressing but I don’t see how: it’s just the story of the worst time traveler ever, whizzing across the time stream after having erased his own timeline while trying to get rich quick and messing it up royally. He can never get back but neither can we and there’s nothing we can do about it.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Politics. Can’t stand the stuff. It’s toxic and it clings to your skin and if you aren’t careful, people around you are gonna catch it. There’s nothing more stilted and awkward than stopping a story cold in its tracks just to advertise your leanings or tell people why they’re wrong and I wont’ be changing my mind about it anytime soon.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

At the risk of dating this interview, I’m 32 at the time and happily married with the only woman I could ever call ‘wife’. No kids yet, but they’re gonna happen. I’m thinking about 6, so I can train them as trapeze artists on the off-chance this writing thing doesn’t work out.

I’ve worked as a sandwich shop worker, owned a small business selling religious icons, worked in marketing, bookstore sales and even spent a spell living full-time off manuscript editing. But if I had to pick a career for myself, I’d cook for a living. People tell me it’s a crap job, but there’s nothing like the sizzle of cooking oil over a fire to get me going in the morning.

Also, waking up at 4am. People can’t stand it, but there’s no sight better than that pre-dawn light, peeking through the cloud cover on a Monday morning.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

So far, it’s gotta be SORRY, WRONG COUNTRY. Mostly because I worked on it for 8 years and I rewrote it a thousand times and I was never good enough for it, but I loved working on it and I think it liked the attention.

It’s a collection of stories from regular weirdos, customers and passers-by I got to meet while the country was coming apart around me and I think they kept me from losing it, especially when things turned for the worse. Hell, even if we slip off the edge of the First World, I’ll still have those guys to keep me sane.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

Like I said, i started because I wanted to piss off my English teacher, but the person that got me into writing was the Sandwich Captain, a man I kept running into at 2am in the morning when I was working in that aforementioned sandwich shop. He was probably the most interesting man in the world and he hated the attention and he was more troubled than Sisyphus.

And I loved him for it.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Don’t laugh, but I make pickles. Carrots, cucumbers, cabbage and garlic, chili and bell peppers and onions, oh my. Then I check on them in the middle of the night, as if they were children and worry for about two months before I crack them open.

Also, I like to grow stuff. Nothing too major: maybe some peppers, some onions, when I can. Someday, I might just head off to the boonies, live off the land, then come back just in time to regret it.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Panic. Worry. Tell people. Feel like garbage. Start planning out the next one. Am I doing it right? I don’t think I am doing it right, at all.

9. Where do you write? Quite or music?

Mostly, I write anywhere. I write at work, between handling customers. I write at home, while trying to wrangle dinner. I never had too much time to write since I started doing it earnest, but I can’t stand music, so I guess I need the..noise?

The hum of humanity, the gentle rumble of the kitchen or traffic.

God, if the world ended I don’t think I’d ever write another word.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

I don’t even know where to begin: personally, I hate my dialogue, think I need tons of work on establishing hooks, am garbage at pacing and overall wouldn’t publish me if it was up to me. Also, I think my research is atrocious and I have a very heavy hand when it comes to editing myself, to the point where I start second guessing to an atrocious degree.

You know what? It’s best I don’t touch anything. I already hate the entire thing.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

Famous? With the attention and the interviews and the podcasts and all that jazz? No, just give me enough to live on and a tank of gas-filled from book sales and a settled power bill and I’ll be happy.

But then maybe I’ll just bellyache and wish I had a movie deal by then.

12. Where do you live?

Athens, heart of Greece, birthplace of philosophers and every terrible idea alike, in a little place overlooking the Acropolis, nestled against the hill of Filopappou. On summer nights, we’re lulled to sleep by the distant baying of strays. In winter, beggars form impromptu choruses in street corners.

We swelter in August and we freeze in December and it hasn’t snowed in Christmas since forever, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

13. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Writing itself, I guess. Also, browsing markets, struggling to reach publishers, trying to finagle a story every chance I get.

It might come off as cynical, but I hate writing for myself. I am the worst audience I’ve ever had: I’m awfully judgmental, offer little to no feedback and am an all-around insufferable smartass.

But writing for others? Man oh man, that’s a blast. I love talking to editors or readers, especially, pitching ideas on the sly and searching for that little nod, that semi-indifferent “go for it” sign and know that I wanna give them something they will enjoy.

Hell, even if I bungle it up I’ll get some form of feedback.

You can connect with Konstantine Paradias here:

Sorry, Wrong Country Book link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/194633507X/ref=cm_cr_dpvoterdr?ie=UTF8&thanksvoting=cr-vote-R103RDQVJM0OMW#R103RDQVJM0OMW.2115.Helpful.Reviews

Shapescapes Editing Services: http://shapescapes.blogspot.in/p/blog-page_34.html

https://www.amazon.com/Konstantine-Paradias/e/B00HT3BJ2Y/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1501580795&sr=8-1

Some of Konstantine Paradias’s books:

Getting personal with Konstantine Paradias Konstantine Paradias is a writer by choice. At the moment, he's published over 100 stories in English, Japanese, Romanian,German, Dutch and Portuguese and has…

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tanmath3-blog · 7 years

Text

Konstantine Padadias is an extremely nice man and talented author. Writing has been in his blood for a long time and his passion shows. He has a great sense of humor and has even decided that his children will be trapeze artist. We forgot to mention that he doesn’t have kids yet. Of course this made me giggle. If you don’t know him or haven’t read his books please take some time and introduce yourself. Grab one of his books and please remember to leave a review. Please help me welcome Konstantine Padadias to Roadie Notes…..

1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

2. How many books have you written?

3. Anything you won’t write about?

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

Also, waking up at 4am. People can’t stand it, but there’s no sight better than that pre-dawn light, peeking through the cloud cover on a Monday morning.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

And I loved him for it.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Also, I like to grow stuff. Nothing too major: maybe some peppers, some onions, when I can. Someday, I might just head off to the boonies, live off the land, then come back just in time to regret it.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Panic. Worry. Tell people. Feel like garbage. Start planning out the next one. Am I doing it right? I don’t think I am doing it right, at all.

9. Where do you write? Quite or music?

The hum of humanity, the gentle rumble of the kitchen or traffic.

God, if the world ended I don’t think I’d ever write another word.

10. Anything you would change about your writing? I don’t even know where to begin: personally, I hate my dialogue, think I need tons of work on establishing hooks, am garbage at pacing and overall wouldn’t publish me if it was up to me. Also, I think my research is atrocious and I have a very heavy hand when it comes to editing myself, to the point where I start second guessing to an atrocious degree.

You know what? It’s best I don’t touch anything. I already hate the entire thing.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

But then maybe I’ll just bellyache and wish I had a movie deal by then.

12. Where do you live?

We swelter in August and we freeze in December and it hasn’t snowed in Christmas since forever, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

13. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Writing itself, I guess. Also, browsing markets, struggling to reach publishers, trying to finagle a story every chance I get.

It might come off as cynical, but I hate writing for myself. I am the worst audience I’ve ever had: I’m awfully judgmental, offer little to no feedback and am an all-around insufferable smartass.

Hell, even if I bungle it up I’ll get some form of feedback.

You can connect with https:Konstantine Padadias here: Sorry, Wrong Country Book link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/194633507X/ref=cm_cr_dpvoterdr?ie=UTF8&thanksvoting=cr-vote-R103RDQVJM0OMW#R103RDQVJM0OMW.2115.Helpful.Reviews

Shapescapes Editing Services: http://shapescapes.blogspot.in/p/blog-page_34.html

Some of Konstantine Padadias’s books:

Getting personal with Konstantine Padadias Konstantine Padadias is an extremely nice man and talented author. Writing has been in his blood for a long time and his passion shows.

0 notes