#(again not abandoning tumblr or rp at all! just don’t have much time for it so my blogs are basically for aesthetic things and w/e I have | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hxdrostorm · 2 years

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@collectionofvoices has sent: 5, 8, 13, 16 for mun views

Mun Views [Accepting]

5. On exclusivity.

// I personally never had any luck with it, and my last attempt at it ended in a huge mess. So, I’m taking that as a sign to NEVER try it again. I have my mains and that’s as far as I’m willing to go. I don’t think exclusivity works, outside of a group RP context, where duplicates of characters aren’t allowed in. I’ve also seen so much drama, surrounding exclusivity that leaves me wondering, what’s even the point of it in an open RPC like we currently are atm.

Again, unless you are in a closed group, or you have no intentions of opening your blog to new followers or mutuals. Then, exclusivity might work out in your favor. Otherwise, I feel like it ends up becoming a form of hinderance in a way. I also feel like the RPC in general, has a huge misunderstanding of what exclusivity entails. There’s no harm in wanting to interact with a single take of a character. And yet...

8. On positivity.

// I’m sorry if I come off as blunt or rude with this, but I feel like it needs to be said: It’s very unhealthy and dangerous, to rely on complete strangers in the internet to validate you. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many instances, where positivity became a RPer’s main drive and things got out of hand really fast. They seemingly abandon the writing/RP part of the hobby, and it just devolves into a chase for attention and engagement. I feel bad for those that get to this point, bc clearly they must be going through something, and this pursuit is probably an attempt at getting their minds off whatever must be happening to them IRL.

Positivity is obviously nice, and always welcomed. Just don’t let it poison the well.

13. On following back.

// Nobody can force you to follow anyone, period. No amount of guilt-tripping, or pressure should make you hit a blog’s follow button. Your well-being, must be your top priority.

I’m selective about following people back, because I don’t have the energy or the time to interact with everyone that come across my blog. I tend to feel overwhelmed very easily, I need to make sure RP is being enjoyable to me and my partner. And I simply can’t do that, without a filter of sorts, in place.

Aside from that, I also have numerous other reasons for me, not following someone back. Which can all be found in my Rules carrd!

16. On roleplaying in general.

// RP in general is nothing more than fanfiction writing, but co-op mode. Everyone has their own way to go about it, and there is no wrong way to RP. It’s just a shame to see the state of the community ATM. I’ve been here for over 6 years, and the tumblr RPC has definetely seen some better days. I’m not saying it was perfect, otherwise I’d be just going off pure nostalgia for it, there has always been so many bad apples. But the tumblr RPC was the first time, I got to truly get into the hobby of RPing and I’ve been here since I stumbled upon it.

#ooc /#thank you for the ask!#collectionofvoices

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reigningsniper · 2 years

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// I’m very bad with putting my feelings to words, but I don’t know how many of you were back in this little nook of an rpc 11 years ago. I was watching fma.b for the first time and right after I watched the dub of ep 58 (you know the fuckin’ one), I was about on tumblr and stumbled onto this stuff.

See, I’d been rping in the tt.oc fandom over on devia.ntart. Any of you all remember the deviant.art chat rooms? Those were wild. I was absolutely that kid that lurked from afar and 100% followed the rules to wait to create my own account until I was 13. So in the grand scheme of life, I’ve been rping for 14 years now! I just remember how fun it was. But there was a period where things were dwindling there as people got older and moved on from fandoms in general or just that one. Some people were talkin’ about this tumblr thing and I thought I’d give it a shot.

Anyway, cut to me stumbling onto this rpc. Granted, I don’t think any of those people are still here anymore. If they are maybe they moved urls or changes characters. I remember a few people went by their real names and they took on mun names after a while. I think I definitely did that 😂 I watched from afar for a little while, and I had the bug again. I wanted to write. I wanted to interact with a fandom and throw meta posts around. I wanted to connect with people who loved the characters I did, and meet others who loved some of the ones that weren’t in my top, but still loved. Fm.a has amazing characters from top to bottom. There was no shortage of interactions as I started with Win.ry, and I met some older folks that were really kind and helpful as I was going through some hard times.

High school was really hard. I wasn’t a full outcast, but I felt routinely abandoned by people who kept lip servicing that they were totally my friend! But there was so little follow through. It left me feeling pretty bad day in and day out, but I always knew I could come on here and feel positive about something. I still had anxiety that meant some days I felt bad, especially as people interacted with duplicates. That wasn’t a thing we had before in the last rpc I was in! They were all our OCs, and if someone wrote canon characters, it was assigned in the rp we were doing to make things easy, and were almost never the focus. But it got me through those shitty times, and eventually I was off to college.

In the meantime though, I finally got the courage to rp Riza. Lord, if I tell you that she has always been my fave from day god damned one, I’m not lying. But being that young, it was easier for me to start with Win.ry. It was easier for me to get in her mindset, and having watched it and eventually read it during my high school years, I was able to access that point of view more easily. In the meantime, there were these handful of Roy’s and Riza’s who I had a lot of admiration for. Their writing was top notch and their prose and metas both made me think more deeply. As I got older and really began to understand the world and how shitty it was, I was more and more connecting with Riza every time I went back through episodes, saw art, read fic, read the manga...

One of those Riza’s moved on pretty informally, but with their absence, I remember thinking upon how I missed there being Riza’s to interact with. Then I thought about all the ideas I had. Then I realized: well why the hell shouldn’t I start writing her. And that’s kind of the rest if history kind of thing.

Like, y’all. I’m only 27. I’m not old. But having been here for so long, I’ve seen so much dash crack, magic anons, drama, people come and go, people who go and return on a cycle. It’s mindboggling that this has been a constant. Even in my moments when I think it’s best for my mental health to step away for good if I’m having a hard time managing my anxiety, some months or a year will pass and I’m inevitably pulled back. I’m an adult with their own apartment (with a roommate weeeeeee capitalism), working a job, living their life, but I always come back to this. I wonder how the people who aren’t active anymore are doing. I like keeping in touch with those on discord who really, sincerely, mean a lot to me.

It’s such a blessing to be able to come on and shitpost, or just send a crushing ask (or RECEIVE ONE). We are all vastly different in our ways, but this is one thing we love and have in common. That’s not an insignificant thing. Scrolling back through posts, I get a little sad sometimes that I haven’t been active and that things have been somewhat slower these last 8 or so months. But I always know that such meaningful media such as this endures. We’ll come back, and if we don’t, I know it’ll matter. Even if fandom no longer interests us as we get older, I hope we remember the good moments, and remember that fma is about community, at it’s core.

We don’t live in a bubble, we give and we receive. If this has helped everyone get some peace from their world or simply enhanced it, then I can remember this community fondly. Here’s to whatever is next, whether you’re an observer or a participant <3

#‘your mother buys you megablocks instead of legos’ / ooc #// nat gets emotional before 10pm

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roleplayerconfessions · 2 years

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Okay, hi this is the writer of 689718481492574208 and 689720977149607936689718481492574208 again, I don't want to respond to anyone directly in the comments on my blog because I don't want any kind of harassment or anything and I don't intend to be like harsh on anyone, but this is the last thing I'm saying on the matter. This is in regard to the comments on 689720977149607936689718481492574208.

Yes an rper is someone who rps but its never been about how much or how often someone rps. Back when I was a kid rping was often as stupid and simple as AIM / MSN convos where you would occasionally write something like this to your friend: Character A: *pokes character B*

This was silly, no pressure fun which is what rp should be at the end of the day, no matter how much more in depth people (such as myself) have personally chosen to go with it. Writing lots and constantly are not specified as requirements because rp is a hobby not a job. There is no such thing as a professional rper. Everyone is an armature and the beauty of rp is it should not be held to any special standard. Its something people do in their free time when they have desire to do so and there are all different styles and genres of rp that suit different people.

Yes there are some people who really take rp seriously and thats your prerogative, you're within your right to cultivate a more 'serious' space for rp but you gotta understand that the public / indie rpc cannot be held to your personal standard. I would recommend joining group rps if you want a "stricter" environment and want to hold people to certain muses and levels of activity. Groups tend to have activity checks and auditions and stuff to prevent people from picking up muses they don't have time to write / are not suited for but I suspect a majority of the indie rpc are not in groups bc ultimately they don't like being held to the standards they really don't mind holding others to.

Some people don't have as much free time or inspo as others. It doesn't make them not an rper because you visit one of their blogs and don't feel like they're posting enough writing for you to consider them an rper. Some of my blogs have no current writing / threads on them, a few of them just have a couple ooc posts/hcs and gif sets, these blogs would be considered by the "standards" of some of you as not "rp blogs" and I wouldn't be able to call myself an rper.

But little would you know I have multiple blogs, I have had muses on tumblr for over ten years, I am admittedly less active now I'm older and a lot of my muses have gone through "rebooted" blogs due to age and some have much more writing and threads than others. But just because my blog for X doesn't have a lot on it doesn't mean my blog for Y wont and that because my X blog doesn't have a lot there doesn't mean I cant call myself an rper or that I don't plan to rp on that blog eventually. It may be in two weeks, it may be in two months, it may be in two years. I don't know. But you have absolutely no way to know how much a mun of any blog is writing because you're only privy to a really tiny potion of their online time / space on tumblr. They could have multiple other blogs and could write more on other sites, etc. I have a lot of mutuals who would be considered "muse droppers" by these standards because their blogs have more gifs and whatever than rp threads but a lot of them rp very actively on discord. I also know a lot of people who started rp blogs here on tumblr but found it more relaxed to run rp accounts on twitter instead, as another example. They rp actively there, but dont rp on their tumblrs.

My original response listed a few reasons why some rpers become discouraged from or abandon their blogs soon after making them. Becoming discouraged, overwhelmed or intimidated by rp communities here on tumblr and therefore not getting to write any or as much as they may of planned doesn't make people not rpers. Trying to turn rp into this super serious thing, or at least feeding the mentality that does push for rp to be this serious job-like thing where rpers have to meet certain criteria of how many ic things they're posting on their tumblr blogs to satisfy certain followers sucks all the fun out of rp and drives people away.

If a blog you follow isn't meeting your criteria you should have known in the first place and given the big lot of nothing they were apparently doing (As indicated by people saying they don't do anything but post gifs and were only there for a week / didn't post anything ic in that week) you really had no reason to feel like you lost anything or had any incentive to feel like they owed you something in the first place, therefore no reason to feel bitter with these muns or as if they're 'wasting your time'.

If they're not in your dms every day asking you for rp and never replying to any threads you give them you've got no reason to have beef with them. If they're not shitting on you for unfollowing/not writing with them then you've got no reason to have beef with them. Outside of those two things there is no reason for anyone to think blog hoppers and muse droppers are bad or to really be in their business in anyway.

I personally don't even notice blogs who do this that I don't get the opportunity to get friendly with OOC because after I follow them and they don't post again I forget all about them. No loss for anyone. You guys are saying that rpers should label themselves so you can "avoid" blogs that don't meet your personal criteria but ultimately you guys don't get to decide how much rp makes an rper. Some people don't label their blogs because sometimes people go inactive / drop muses / fandoms because of unforeseen events / circumstances in their lives / spaces. That said a lot of people I know and come across do label their blogs as things like "low" or "sporadic" activity etc so look out for labels like that if you're really concerned about how much a blog does or doesn't post.

As I mentioned in my last submission "people in the rpc get way too possessive of / personally invested in blogs / things that truly have nothing to do with them in any way and cannot possibly be effecting them to the extent some of them like to make out."

The balls in your court. If its so bothersome for any of you to follow people who don't post as much as you apparently suspected they would then you need to do a better job of surveying blogs before you follow them. Check post dates, again check for labels like low or sporadic activity, look at the rules as I know a lot of people will mention they hyper fixate on things and these periods can be brief, and have other blogs, prefer to write on discord, etc. It should be pretty clear how high or low a persons level of activity is once you check their blog even if they don't have any particular labels.

In response to the conversation about this submission.

#Submission Replies #Muns #Preferences #Representation #Communication #Accessibility

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trackdntraild · 1 year

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yknow coming back to tumblr it uh

it makes me think

/ / / vent cw for the below stuff / / /

like as i was scrolling back through all the people either i was following or people that were following me, it made me remember just how many old friends i had on here

yknow, back when i had that cookie run rp blog, and the danganronpa ones, and my super super super old and abandoned MLP rp blog, hell even the two old pokemon blogs that i had

and it makes me remember just how many friends i had there, when i was extroverted and i reached out to people and we’d talk about anything ranging from shitpost memes to nsfw even tho i wasn’t supposed to talk abt that

it really makes me just miss everything, when i was a stupid kid who liked to be social online, and now im just an introverted and anxious adult

i kinda miss my old friends, but i know i could never talk to them again after all the stupid dramatic shit i did, whether it was writing things that i shouldn’t have been writing (not just limited to nsfw) or just being manipulative and borderline abusive

i came across some old posts from back then, of people talking about their stories on the callout posts that were made for me, and most of it i don’t even remember doing, so i’m not sure if i even actually did those things or if those people were also trying to manipulate me too, but if at all possible i’d rather take the blame because flat out i was a bad person then, so i guess whatever anybody said about me then was probably true and i should be responsible for it

but even though i know that, i still miss my friends. they were good people who went through so much because of me and i’m surprised if any of them are even still around me despite everything

at the very least, i hope they can understand that i’ve grown up now

i turned 18 this year, i’m not a kid anymore, so it’s time i take responsibility for my actions

i’ve made so many apologies in the past for the same things that i did then, but i can’t help apologizing over and over because i’m afraid of things getting brought up again, and people thinking that i’m still that person

but if at all in the future, at the very least, i just want to see my old friends again, so that i can apologize to them. to hell with if they want to try being my friend again, i just want them to know that i’m sorry for being a shithead

but idk if i’ll ever get that opportunity

#vent #long post

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thesaltminesrph · 3 years

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PSA: INTERACTION GUILT TRIPPING

We’ve all run across them at one point or another (if you haven’t, count yourself lucky but you probably will!)- that partner that makes demands of your time and it makes you feel...not so great. But sometimes you need to check yourself and make sure you are not the one making other people uncomfortable inadvertently.

No one owes you their time or interaction. You read that? Now read it it again- no one owes you their time or interaction. That’s not to say that you should disregard the time of others and not try to give a heads up about hiatus, or abandoning your blog, or responding to everyone but those five people for six months. That’s crappy behavior too (pressing life circumstances aside, we all have life emergencies and crap come up and those of course always do take precedence). But if you’re bored or down, you are NOT owed interaction just because you want it right now.

And guess what? If people have learned how to draw healthy boundaries, and been around long enough, they recognize those behaviors and it pushes them away, it doesn’t solicit interaction, rather the exact opposite.

What are you talking about, Salty, you may ask? Here’s some examples, not copied from anyone, this is purely off my 10+ years of roleplay:

“Muse xyz is super horny right now guys send in memes!” followed up by “Guess nobody wants my muse cuz I didn’t get any!”

Multi muse blog- “this ONE muse is super active right now guys oh my god you need to send memes I can’t do anything else” followed by “why does nobody want this muse??”

“I’m feeling down/bored/depressed/suicidal, send memes” followed by “I must not matter, nobody sent anything”

“I see everyone reblogging stuff but they’re ignoring me why is no one interacting??!”

“Is my tumblr broken? Cuz I have an empty inbox”

“Soooo guess I don’t exist cuz my inbox has no notifications”

If you have posted any of these...hate to break it to you, but this is actually what is known as emotional manipulation. It functions off pulling comments and interactions because you are expressing feeling unseen, bored, depressed, and then making it the other person’s problem. This is not healthy behavior, and rightfully makes people uncomfortable because they may worry about the posting mum’s mental health seeing these kind of posts. It is okay to vent about a bad day, it’s okay to want to interact with people- we are literally here to interact with each other! What’s not okay is mixing the two and making interacting with you mandatory (written or not, these kind of posts it’s always implied).

The next time you feel the urge to make that kind of a post ask yourself these things:

Am I projecting my current feelings (boredom, lack of relationship/sex, anger) etc. on my muse? Remember that mun ≠ muse and you should be careful to avoid doing this in excess.

Am I working to provide my own interaction? Have I sought it out by messaging a mun with plot ideas? Have I sent any memes myself that I’m annoyed my inbox is empty? People are much more likely to reciprocate sending memes with the people that do send them. One sided relationships, because yes, you are developing relationships with your fellow muns, are never fun.

Do I maybe need to step away from tumblr and do something to adjust my mindset before trying to interact? Take a nap, a shower, go for a walk, have a meal, get some water, watch your favorite movie, etc.

Remember, majority of tumblr rp is quite familiar with anxiety, depression, and neurodivergency- most of the muns have a good general idea of what a bad day can feel like. How that bad day is handled though, that’s fully on you.

TLDR: don’t guilt your fellow muns into interacting with you, this is toxic, emotional manipulation and NOT OKAY.

#roleplay help #roleplay #roleplay psa #rp psa #rp help #suicidal ideation mention tw

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hotforhandman · 3 years

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So there are some things I want to get off my chest that I’ve been mulling over for a while. I don’t expect this post to get much engagement, but on the off chance anyone’s wondering what I’ve been up to, I wanted to voice some thoughts.

I feel like this fandom and this blog are past their zenith. I’m not going to abandon it, but I just wanted to say that. I don’t know if it’s just me or if it’s the BNHA fandom or if it’s tumblr as a whole, but for over a year now the level of engagement on both my stuff and stuff I reblog from others has been falling at a fairly consistent rate. For reblogging stuff and making the occasional comment on the goings on of the manga and anime, that’s not really a problem, but my content creation has almost ground to a halt.

I know this is something that hundreds if not thousands of creators have stated, and people are probably sick of hearing it, but creativity thrives on conversation. At the peak of this blog’s popularity, I was answering asks, writing short stories, publishing both RP content and my own content regularly, and riding the high of being part of a thriving fandom. Now when I post original content I’m lucky to get five notes, and two or three sentence comments get far more engagement than anything I put effort into. Same goes for my patreon, which I’ve always been running in the hopes that even five percent of the love I got on Death Row or any of my other stories would come of something, but it never got much attention, and though I have offered content perks before I find little incentive to create more exclusive content because I feel like no one sees it, so hours of my effort are wasted on nothing.

I’m still keeping up with BNHA. I’m still reading the manga and watching the anime (and lamenting that we haven’t heard from Shiggy since AFO all but confirmed his goal was to possess him completely), but my passion for it is dying because I have no one to talk about it with anymore. Creating content for it feels more like a chore than a joy, and I can’t bring myself to put in the many weekly hours’ worth of effort it takes to maintain a constant publishing schedule when I get nothing in return. It’s work with no reward, which is why I’ve been neglecting it in favour of projects that are actually fun to me.

At the moment, most of my creative energy is going into producing DND content. My passion is in a couple of OCs I created for DND campaigns that I have been both writing and drawing content for, but I haven’t shared it anywhere because posting content to zero interaction is far more demoralising than keeping it just for me.

Once upon a time, I dedicated every second of my free time to this fandom and this blog, because I loved it. I loved interacting with you guys, I loved creating content, I loved bouncing ideas off of people and watching people’s reactions. Now it feels like I’m calling into an empty wasteland and waiting for an answer that will never come.

Thank you to everyone who’s still keeping up with my content, rest assured that I still see your names pop up in my inbox and I treasure every comment you leave, but my motivation is running on fumes. I don’t want to disappoint any of you, but that’s where I’m at.

Again, I have no plans to shut anything down. I fully expect all this to just peter out until it’s finally completely dead. Maybe we will have a revival, but I doubt it. On the off chance that you read all of this and you still have that passion and love for this fandom, please consider engaging more, maybe we can bring some of the life back to this part of the internet.

Thanks guys.

Jay x

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha

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j-reau · 3 years

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a hiatus or something

I didn’t want to post this. I told myself to give it until morning and sleep but I’ve been laying here for over an hour and I can’t sleep and I know I’m not going to sleep until I get it out. And I decided I’m not going to do the pretend things don’t bother us mentality that tumblr likes, the don’t show emotions on the dashboard, don’t let people know you’re hurt or angry out of fear it’ll be seen as ~drama or whatever thing stop me from just saying how I feel. Because I feel pretty shitty? I’ve been feeling shitty for a few days now. Maybe more. Last week I told myself that the drama that had randomly cropped up was just too much and I wasn’t going to let tumblr be something that made me cry or panic or kept me up at night over bullshit like arguing with someone over things that happened years ago. So I set my focus on my friends, on my dashboard, on reminding myself why I love RP and why I’ve been in it for this many years, for so long, with all of these people. Those Valentines I posted were part of that project for me. It was a reminder, for myself and my dash about all of the human connection that happens here, all the people we meet, all the little pieces of each other we take on and take with us, all the ships, all the conversations, however brief. From the people we just see on our dash to the ones we talk to about all our fears and insecurities. And how all of it matters.

I know how much we all love to say calm down gregg, it’s tumblr RP. I know how we all loathe this hellsite when we’re being our worst. I know how we all talk about how we’re too old for this now or we’re tired. We’re just here to write. I’m just here to write. I love writing. But what brings us all back time and time again, what keeps us here is the fact that it’s not just tumblr RP. It’s a community. Whether you have a real life that keeps you busy or your whole life is here, whether you have plenty of friends offline or all your closes people live on discord, we’re all people. And we all take this with us. We make friendships and we talk to each other. We open ourselves up to the constant trust and fear of interaction, of plotting, of who is going to reach out or send the meme. We build friendships based on that, we care for each other, we see each other’s bad days on the dash, and great days and inspiration. And it means something. It may just be tumblr RP, but it matters to us. Because of the people here, because we give a fuck about each other. Or at least I’ve always liked to hope we do. I have friends on this website I’ve had for ten years, some just for 3, and others just a few months. It always floors me how we can always come back to it, how we stick with each other or don’t, how we see the good and the bad and the ugly.

So to get on with it, I wrote those Valentines. I hit refresh on my blog and put the weird random drama in the past and moved forward. I made this blog for JJ only about 3 months ago. I don’t know how I got 500 followers in that short time but I did. And it’s. been the wildest experience I can possibly explain, having that happen so quickly, finding so many people out in the RPC that I hadn’t before on my other blogs. I felt fucking good. I was excited. Not just to write a character I had wanted to and loved for years but to find so many people who I vibed with. I remember writing a post about a month in and being so fucking ... floored. By how much I loved you all, by how amazing it was to be received like that still, to find people my age and who wrote things I liked and loved their female characters. I fucking love JJ. I LOVE THE SHIT out of my partners on this blog, even the new people I’m still itching to write with. And yet, I did that little refresh, posted my valentines , got ready to go and felt .... sad.

I tried to explain it. I tried to tell myself it was a bad mood. I hoped maybe it was medication. But I couldn’t shake the weird funk. And everywhere I looked it seemed like things were .... not good. My friends taking breaks, people feeling sad too, relationships splitting, people I liked and respected separating themselves. Tonight, one of my closest friends I’ve made on this blog blocked me. Someone I adored and trusted and absolutely loved to write with. Tumblr says we’re not supposed to care. That we’re supposed to let people draw their lines in the sand and take their leave and maybe we are. Maybe it’s important to let people make their choices. But I also think it’s important as fuck to talk to your friends, to mean what you say when you tell someone they’re important to you. I think it’s important that we remember on the other side of every blog and discord user is a person. Who has bad days and bad feelings and cries and feels insecure and tells themselves it’s just tumblr RP even when they know somehow it feels heavier when it’s bad. This was a friend I had talked to at length about all of those exact things, about how personal the community can feel sometimes, about feeling replaceable or invisible, even for the toughest most confident most take no shit people. I’ve always considered myself a pretty tough, confident, take no shit person. I think anyone who has known me for as many years as I’ve been around has seen that first hand. I don’t like how sad I’ve felt lately. I don’t like the insecurity that’s making me want to know why things feel way or why people vanish without so much as an explanation. I had to block a mutual last week I saw making fun of me on their twitter. A mutual. Someone who chose to follow me and on a public place where my other friends could see it made fun of what I posted. And I just don’t know what we’re doing anymore. It didn’t bother me. I don’t have hurt feelings over it. That’s the kind of stuff I definitely know I’m confident about. But .... it did really fucking floor me. Because here we are, on a sight where users talk about positivity and not sending anon hate, and we can treat each other like that.

I’ve been sitting up in bed for hours trying to figure out what to say or what to do. That’s what I do I guess. I try to figure out what to do, how we fix it, like somehow there’s some unified we and some responsibility to make things better. A lot of you have only known me for a few months so this probably sounds all kinds of nuts. And you’re probably going JJ you’ve been an emotional mess since the moment we met you. Because I feel like that’s how it’s been for the last few months. But that’s not how it’s always been for me. That’s not who I am. So for now I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I do. Instead of sitting here and spinning and trying to figure out how we as a community fix these gaping holes and the way we talk about each other like we’re disposable and treat each other like names on a list instead of people.

For now, I think what I do is take a little break. It’s the very thing I don’t want to do. Because it feels like quitting and it feels like being scared away. So I feel the need to promise whoever has read all of this and myself that that’s not what it is. Maybe I’ll be back in two days, maybe two weeks, who knows. But I need a break. From whatever this feeling is that seems to have come over things lately. I’ve loved these few months on this blog so much. And maybe that’s half the problem. Maybe I got spoiled and this is the come down. Maybe I’m just an idiot who thinks what we all want on this website is to find people and love each other and write together. I never knew that me -- the person often accused of being aloof and feelingsless and distant would somehow turn into the emotional bitch on this website but here we are I guess. I just don’t know how to navigate this anymore. I don’t know how to put my heart into relationships and friendships that can just be switched off like we can just stop caring about people. I don’t know how to ignore people who say horrible things and do horrible things to each other just because we don’t want to see it on our dashes. I don't know how to give enough of everything to everyone so that every single one of my mutuals and partners knows they’re valuable to me. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish. I don’t know when I got to be so much of a raw, frayed edge on tumblr dot com but that’s how I feel. And I hope in a few days or sometime soon I’ll have an answer or at least get my hard shell back.

I want to keep writing. I want to keep talking to you guys. I don’t want to lose anyone. I truly mean what I say when I say you’re all important to me. I plan to still be around on discord. I’ll write on discord if anyone wants to keep writing. If we aren’t discord friends yet and you want to be, send a message. I plan to come back. I don’t want to abandon anything. I’m so deeply fucking sorry for this rant, for all the overflow of feelings lately, for anyone that’s had to listen to them, for putting them on your dashes, for fucking all of it. Please be good to each other. Please talk to each other. Please remember that if we’ve crossed paths at any point on this blog, I value you. I value all of your friendships, your writing, your shitposts, your dash commentary, your tiktoks you dump at me on discord. I love you. Every last fucking one of you.

#💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼💛#i am dead fucking serious please feel free to stay in touch i just #need my dash closed for a while #message me if you want my discord

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blooberrygarden · 3 years

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I got one question. Why did you abandon your two blogs

My two blogs as in the previous two incarnations? Babe and Buffet?

For some reason, at the time, I felt the best way to come back after being gone from them was to make a new one. I’m not entirely sure where this thought process came from, but it felt like the right thing to do at the time, so it was done.

Also like. Some vent-y reasons as well...

Not something I talk about a ton, but blooberrybabe first came up around a time that I was not doing too well mentally. I was trying to figure out what I wanted with my life at the time and art was a big factor.

And I was a super horny bab ;o;

But without going into too much further detail that probably no one cares for, I had a huge burnout and breakdown and the name kinda reminded me of all that. So I jumped ship.

blooberrybuffet was a much better time. I was starting to post a lot less bc I work a full time job that demands a lot, but I was much happier with the art I was putting out. But then I fatefully got into OC rp and... that kinda got outta hand.

And then some bungus sent anon hate over it and I kinda went quiet. Low self esteem gang. I started an ask blog, but even that is just a messy, unorganized jumble that I feel horrible about. Even now that blog is at a standstill, and I even think about deleting it, though I can’t bring myself to.

I had to think if this was stuff I truly enjoyed drawing. Which, like, of course I do. It’s my kink. I love it. But also, like. Where does it get me? I don’t seem to improve my skills by any significant margin, and a lot of my time is spent working.

And the tumblr nsfw ban didn’t make it easier. Even though there are workarounds now, it gets touchy and you can’t simply just answer asks with smut or post doodles at will anymore.

But I once again made a new blog. I was hoping to approach it with a more lax attitude. I tend to make things more than they need to be, which ruins the fun of it all. I worry about posting new content regularly but. I just can’t guarantee time to draw some weeks. The only people I owe that to are commissioners, to which I have the deepest gratitude for having me draw for them. In fact, commissions have saved my ass on some bills a couple times aha;;

And I’m sorry if the blog thing makes it confusing to follow me, For the people who have been here since the beginning, sorry for the mess :(

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blueorchidrp · 3 years

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LOOKING FOR NEW RP BUDDIES <3 [MXM || D/S THEMES || LITERATE]

Heya lovely people <3

(Brace yourselves, this is a long one! :D)

Recently, I've found myself in the mood to RP again after losing motivation during the beginning of the pandemic so I'm really hoping this ad will appeal to someone out there and I might find one or two new people to write with! :D

I'll go into detail about what I'm looking to RP in a second, but first of all, a little about me:

I'm female, 21+ and my time zone is GMT+1 (Central Europe). I'm an experienced writer and roleplayer of 10+ years. I exclusively write in 3rd person/past tense and would prefer for you to do the same.

English isn’t my first language but I’m pretty comfortable with it and I always try to keep mistakes to a minimum. Despite that, I hope you will excuse the occasional mistake! I would really prefer for you to have good spelling/grammar as well, but of course I’m not super pedantic about it and don’t mind typos from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, after all!

Usually I go for slower-paced RPs with longer replies since I'm not the fastest writer but recently I've really been in the mood for some faster-paced RPs and consequently, shorter replies. I usually aim for 300-1,500 words per reply but for this I would like to keep replies on the shorter side (at least on average and with no pressure from your side to conform to this, of course).

Obviously the length of the reply would still rely on what is happening in the RP - starters will naturally be longer than replies that heavily depend on how the other character will react.

I'm fine with having a short-term RP although I do enjoy plotting and also some occasional world-building (although admittedly I sometimes need a while to really pitch in with my ideas unless I'm already comfortable with my partners!) so long-term partners would be great!

I love chatting OOC, not only to discuss plot-related stuff but also to get to know who I am RPing with but it’s not mandatory and if you’d rather not that’s A-okay!

I prefer character-focused RPs, I’m not too good at writing action scenes and I tend to get bored of those rather quickly. I’d rather concentrate on my character’s feelings and his interactions with your character and focus on exploring their dynamic and thoughts.

I love conflict/tension in my RPs and I also love exploring more “philosophical” themes in them. I'm a huge fan of angst, (emotional) hurt & comfort, slow burn and similar genres but overall I do want an eventual happy ending. Occassional fluff is cute and more than fine as well, I just need some "meat" to the RP to keep me interested :D

Now, let’s go to what I’m craving the most right now:

I would very much like a RP that focuses on a (consensual) Dom/Sub relationship. I only do MxM pairings. I would prefer to play the dominant character for this.

I would prefer to involve at least some smut for this one (but we could also fade to black if preferred!) but overall I would really like to focus more on exploring the non-sexual aspects of the dynamic between our characters.

In general when it comes to smut, my characters tend to be switches who mainly top but if they do bottom they’re more along the lines of "power bottoms". In any case, they won’t just lie there and need your character to do all the work for them. (Obviously I can adjust that if you prefer to play the more dominant character)

For the D/s stuff I would ask that we discuss this more in depth in private, but in general I don't think I'm super kinky (I would rather not include too many "out there" ones) and my limits are pretty "standard" as well.

Broadly speaking my limits include: age play, bodily fluids, extreme kink/fetishes, mpreg, A/B/O, large age gaps, degradation.

Some key words of stuff I really enjoy (I'll try not to go overtly sexual):

- Devotion

- Obedience

- Praise Kink (!!)

- Collars/Leashes

- Kneeling

- Spanking

- Titles of Respect

- Terms of Endearment

- Begging

- ...

Some dynamics I enjoy (none of these are a must, of course! This is just to give you a general idea of what I might be looking for):

- the sub being a badass outside of the relationship and only being vulnerable around the dom

- the sub being physically stronger/bigger than the dom (!!!)

- the sub being rather shy/timid

- the dom being a little uncertain of what he wants in the beginning/needing to find himself as a dom

- also the dom in general also getting to be vulnerable

- the sub being super devoted/eager to please

- the sub taking care of the dom

- or: the dom taking care of the sub

- both being really in love with each other

These are the kinds of ideas I'd like to explore (Of course I'm also open to other scenarios/pairings as well, if you have something else in mind!):

Crime Boss x Right-Hand Man:

I'm really craving this one right now! I'm imaging this powerful mobster and his faithful right-hand man who is hopelessly devoted to his boss and willing to do whatever it takes to make sure his boss stays on top. I would prefer for the boss to be the dom and the right-hand man to be the sub.

Son of Crime Boss x Bodyguard:

Celebrity x Bodyguard:

For the first one I'm imagining that the son would be trying to make a name for himself and get out from under his father's thumb (and the bodyguard helping him). For the celebrity one I would imagine the celeb maybe being an actor or some sort of pop/rock star. I would prefer for the bodyguard to be the sub.

Royal x Servant, Royal x Knight:

This can be fantasy/historical (European/East Asian) or even modern. I'm imagining the servant/knight and the royal having been childhood friends and the servant/knight being raised with the knowledge that he would have to protect the royal once he grows up. I really enjoy the idea of one character swearing to serve another for the rest of his life. I would prefer for the knight/servant to be the sub and the royal to be the dom.

Elder Vampire x Fledgling Vampire:

Vampire x Human:

For the first one: Maybe the fledgling vampire was abandoned by his sire and the elder vampire finds him and decides to show him the ropes. For the second one: Maybe the human is a sort of ghoul (like from Vampire: the Masquerade) or human servant or maybe he's just someone the vampire stumbled across while out and about. I would prefer for the (elder) vampire to be the dom and the fledgling/human to be the sub here.

Best Friend x Best Friend:

I got the idea of these college-age guys that slowly discover that they like each other. Maybe they're childhood friends or maybe they've met in college. I’m happy to hear what ideas you might have for this pairing, of course, but a personal favourite of mine is to pair a more stoic (or even grumpy) leaner smart/sarcastic guy with a more jock-like/buff guy who is perpetually happy and optimistic who follows character A around and eventually endears himself to him through sheer persistence.

Soulmates:

I love exploring soulmate AUs, I’m a sucker for all variations of this trope but I’ve been thinking about an idea for a society that places each member of a bonded pair in one of two categories, and members of one category are treated as lesser in society/expected to serve their other half. For this I would definitely like to do some more world-building and really exploring the philosophy of this world as well! It would also be cool to have our character maybe fight against the expectations set by this society but I'm definitely open to other ideas as well!

Apart from that I enjoy a lot of different variations of the soulmate trope but my favourite is the classic idea that involves soulmates having a sort of mark on them that helps them identify who their partner is <3

Other:

Make a suggestion!

I don't have an pre-made OCs so I would come up with a character once we've decided on a plot but of course you can use whatever character you want! I usually don't use FC and just describe what I imagine my character to look like but if you can point me to some good FC ressources I would be willing to look for one if it's important to you! The ages of my characters depend on the plot/dynamic we're going for but they mostly tend to be around 20-45!

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Supernatural, Dragon Age, Detroit: Become Human, Vampires: the Masquerade, Marvel/Avengers, DC, Batman/Joker, Merlin (BBC), Shameless (US).

At the moment I really enjoy the pairing of Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz (they're the inspiration for the Crime Boss x Right-Hand Man idea) so if anyone is up for that pairing as well, let me know! I also really enjoy the pairing Mickey x Ian (Gallavich) from the show Shameless, if anyone is interested in that one!).

I would prefer not to RP anything involving child abuse, underage characters in sexual situations, incest and similar themes. (I’m fine with these things being part of your character’s back story and your character dealing with the after-effects of them but I don’t want to actively RP them!).

I’m also exclusively looking for MxM pairings, so please don’t contact me if you’re looking for someone to RP a MxF plot with! And please be at least 18+. I don’t feel comfortable RPing with anyone younger, even if the RP doesn’t have any smut in it.

I mostly RP on Discord these days, but I'm also open to other mediums, mainly E-mail, tumblr or GoogleDocs!

I would prefer for you to already have a plot in mind (or at least a vague idea of what you want to roleplay) before contacting me!

Thank you for reading all of this! Have a great day & stay safe and healthy!

Contact:

Discord: blueorchid [hashtag] 8092

E-mail: blueorchid.roleplay [at] gmail [dot] com

Or message me here on tumblr! :D

#mxm #mxm roleplay #oc roleplay #oc #slash #roleplay #rp

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just-the-mage · 3 years

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Review-Love Death + Robots (Pt 1. Episodes 1-4)

So here we are again. You, dear readers, and I, a mostly defunct tumblr page. I was thinking...I’ve written a few reviews on here before, and I’ve rather enjoyed myself to be honest. So until RP starts up again for me, I’m going to grab some popcorn and start reviewing some of the media I’ve been indulging in during this exceptionally fun pandemic we’ve all been saddled with (and are becoming increasingly more and more used to as time goes on). Here we go!

Spoilers incoming! I don’t like to discuss a show without going through it entirely-no stone unturned. You have been warned!

Love Death + Robots is a compilation series-each episode is self-contained content, based on what I have experienced thus far. The content varies wildly from cute and sweet to surreal, to horrific. For right now I’m going to stick with the first four episodes since they are fresh in my mind.

Episode 1: Three Robots

Three robots shows a short adventure shared by, you guessed it-Three robots exploring the crumbling remains of human society. It comes across as three tourists making their way through an area that they are completely unfamiliar with, attempting to define and understand elements of the environment as humans once did. Their analysis and attempts to understand not only human culture, but also basic human biology, were entertaining to say the least. Each robot has flair, character, and a their own take on humans and humanity. Over the course of the episode, the fall of mankind is referenced a few times, being initially explained as a mass extinction due to environmental disasters (global warming is probably a factor-one of the buildings has an entire ship sticking out of it). However, the twist ending throws that whole theory into question once the cat that has been accompanying the robots for the last leg of their journey reveals itself as capable of speech. And, interestingly enough...being in possession of opposable thumbs. It was certainly unexpected, and a bit odd-the cat (and its many, many brethren) manage to finish out the episode by convincing the robots that if the robots do not pet them, the cats may explode. I will say that the ending, though it was rather silly and fitting with the tone, felt like an out of place twist intended mostly to give a bit of closure to a story that had no real need to have an ending. It felt a little out-of-left field, at least to me.

This first episode, I think, is one that I could recommend to a much more general audience than almost all of the other content of the show. It’s whimsical and cute, despite inhabiting such a grim setting (and grim it is-post apocalyptic is not taken lightly here. There are plenty of corpses, some skeletal and some not quite so much. At least one of them appears to have died by suicide). I found it to be a nice addition and a good introduction to ease people into the tone of the show. Definitely give this one a watch, even if the ending sort of comes from nowhere.

Episode 2: Beyond the Aquila Rift

This episode was definitely a change of pace from the first. It begins as a high science fiction story starring a hunky, middle aged man and his two crewmates, making some sort of cargo run (?) through a wormhole of some kind, but promptly finding themselves in a completely different place from what they expected. Hunky space captain wakes up first, finding that he is greeted by an old friend (read: lover) of his, who explains that there was a navigation error that led them off course-way off course. They’re in a completely different area than they expected. The ship’s navigator wakes as well, swearing that there couldn’t have been an error in her calculations, but seems ill and is placed back in her future tech cryopod to rest. Space captain man then bangs it out with his ex-lover (Greta) in a scene that was almost definitely written by a man, and she reveals to him that she lied, and that him and his crew are actually hundreds of light-years further off course than they had thought they were, basically dashing any hopes that he could have of returning to his old life. The two then wake the navigator again, who immediately starts ranting that ‘Greta’ isn’t who she says she is. At this point, enough clues have been given that the captain catches up with the audience (it was all a simulation the whole time), and he confronts Greta, demanding that she reveal herself as she truly is. She does, after some prodding-and the captain finds himself in an infested husk of a ship, aged and haggard, obviously dying of starvation. Greta reveals herself as a lovely spider-beast, and the captain wakes up from his pod again-back in his comfortable illusion once more.

I love the premise of this one. Crazy aliens and shit like this is a huge draw for me-sci-fi horror is probably my favorite subgenre of horror when it’s done well. I would count this episode as doing it pretty well. They don’t go into much techno-babble, which I think is a pitfall for some sci-fi stories. The writers are well aware that we aren’t spending too long in this world, so we don’t need to know much about the rules under which it operates outside of ‘computer mistake your ship fly here.’ The twist ending didn’t end up being too much of a twist-in my opinion there were too many clues given throughout the episode to make it that much of a surprise that things weren’t as they seemed. The odds of this man meeting his ex-lover in the infinitesimal reaches of space just by chance were a bit too impossible to make it believable-and the navigator was far too convinced that her work couldn’t be incorrect. In the end, it was an expected twist, but still pretty jarring. Execution is pretty good overall though-and the sex scene is pretty decent as well, even if its strictly a dude-fantasy thing. Also, call me a sucker for cool looking beasties, but I adore the design on spider-Greta. That’s a lady right there for you.

Episode 3: Ice Age

The only live action episode I’ve seen so far-this one gives an *entirely* different tone than the majority of the other episodes in the series. Topher Grace and Mary Elizabeth Winstead happen upon a lost civilization that exists entirely within their refrigerator. They watch in awe as it develops incredibly quickly-hundreds of years passing within the civilization in roughly an hour or so of real time. What starts in the morning as a town in the viking ages eventually develops into a modern society, almost destroys itself with nukes, and then rebuilds from the ashes into a fully futuristic society that quickly ascends beyond physical form, appearing to disperse itself into the cosmos, no longer bound by such petty rules as the laws of physics. A disappointed Topher asks if they’ll return-to which he receives a sad ‘no’ from his partner. It seems all is lost, and the couple go to bed for the night-only to find that the cycle has restarted overnight, and they probably won’t be able to keep any frozen chicken in the freezer for quite some time.

This one is probably one of my favorites of the series so far. It’s fairly well acted, but the real beauty of the episode is getting to watch the mini-civilization develop itself in a glorious time lapse-the work that must’ve gone into it must have been monumental, to be honest. The final product certainly felt that way, in any case. What I also found fascinating was a specific scene in which the protagonists were abandoned in place of some of the tiny denizens of the lost civilization-which made me realize exactly how slow the ‘normal sized people’s’ actions must have looked to the diminutive people of this rapidly developing society. Reminiscent of the earth’s motion in relation to our own perception-and reinforcing the concept that to an individual, perception is everything.

Episode 4: Sonnie’s Edge

This episode opens with three people transporting mysterious cargo into a heavily guarded complex, quickly encountering and interacting with a ‘bigwig’ of sorts with a beautiful woman on his arm. Through context clues the audience is easily able to discover that the three (pictured above) are here for a fight-and that their cargo is their fighter, a living creature of obviously immense proportion. The bigwig asks the team to throw the fight, and they refuse, even after he offers a large amount of money. (It’s worth mentioning that during this scene, ‘Sonnie’, the leader and controller of the beast fighter, shares an EXTREMELY homosexual gaze with the bigwig’s beautiful lady friend. Don’t think I didn’t notice the setup, because I definitely noticed the payoff, even though it was rudely interrupted). Sonnie and her teammates enter the ring, setting up as it appears that she will be piloting her fighter in some way. Her opponent is also introduced, though he is hardly important in the story-imagine a cake of beef with a big sticker on him that says ‘mysogyny’ in bold print. What follows is one of the most brutal fight scenes I’ve seen in animation (this is just my personal opinion though). These creatures fucking tear each other to shreds, with Sonnie’s beast only just barely emerging as the victor, tearing the opposing fighter’s head clean from its body. The bigwig is obviously angry, as is Sonnie’s opponent, and Sonnie and her team retires to a hotel room of sorts, with the exception of Sonnie-who slips away into the room that houses her fighter, promptly encountering the beauty from earlier! (Payoff time)..and it gets gay. Fast. I love me some wlw content, and there’s some nice tension here, right up until the beauty stabs Sonnie through the head. Rude. The bigwig reveals himself, which was a bit of a surprise-the part of me that hadn’t seen much of this show yet was hoping for a fluffy little happy ending. It wasn’t to be though..after the beauty crushes Sonnie’s skull, the two promptly realize that ‘Sonnie’ wasn’t Sonnie at all-just some biotech. The *real* Sonnie...was the fighter, the whole time. Who promptly makes short work of both the beauty and the bigwig, (implied), in what I can only describe as the most satisfying moment in the series that I’ve seen thus far.

This was easily my favorite episode of the show, and has continued to be, and I assume will continue to be my favorite through the rest of the series. It’s not just because of the lesbian rep (my people!), or the misogynists getting fucking destroyed, but the strength of the reveal, the choreography of the fight scene, and the *power* of the protagonist. I love her. I love her sooo much. We are seamlessly introduced into the world, shown a woman who has been beaten, scarred, faced sexual abuse, and she remade herself into a being of pure power. She fought back, and *look how she fights back*. I cannot describe just how much of a cheer-worthy moment it was to watch the smug smile be summarily wiped from the face of the bigwig. I *love* seeing a villain who has full confidence in their victory suddenly realize that they don’t have the upper hand anymore...and that they are, in fact, absolutely screwed. This was one of those wonderful, wonderful moments, and I can think of nobody more deserving than this villain of being torn to shreds. This was an A+ episode for sure-100% recommend this one for anyone who can handle a bit of gore.

Thank you so much for reading! This is only part 1...more to come!

#ooc #not ffxiv #review #show review #tv show review #love death and robots #love #death #robots #animation #sonnie's edge #ice age #beyond the aquila rift #three robots #wlw #lesbian

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wovencircle · 3 years

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omg so i’m not dead or at least only half dead given how 2020 has been for all of us lol but i finally wanted to make a quick post! i’m so so sorry that i haven’t been on either of my blogs in several months. i was starting to slow down by the end of 2019 but by the time the pandemic hit and so much happened i just really didn’t have the energy or motivation to be here, on top of tumblr rp becoming less of a thing than it used to be.

i’m pretty active on twitter and that’s where i spend most of my time. if any mutuals use twitter and want to be friends on there i’d love that! in regards to both blogs i definitely don’t have any plans to delete them or abandon them at all. i’ve been in the rp scene since 2013 i’m just too attached to ever want to get rid of this completely and the memories here mean a lot to me along with the really kind people i’ve been lucky enough to interact with 💕

i’d say it’s pretty up in the air and who knows maybe at some point i will want to write on here again but for the time being i think it’ll only be occasional reblogs of posts for my characters. i’m totally open to writing on discord or at the very least staying in touch on there

i could keep going but yeah! i just wanted to finally give a long overdue update. i really hope you guys are all staying safe and doing as well as can be with everything going on in the world. please take care of yourselves and i hope to see you around soon ✨⭐✨

#tomatorambles #man i don't think nostalgia is the right word but #using that rambles tag again feels kinda bittersweet lol

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razanartuk · 3 years

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about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

#mel.rtf #abt me #tag games

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zachnovak · 3 years

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@thiskryptonite hmmmmm.... I’m torn right now. Don’t know why I even care or making a post at all let alone on this account I barely remembered the password to. But for some reason, I’ve been missing our friendship quite a lot. Even though I always had the feeling I was second best compared to everyone else on Corinth in your eyes. We chatted a lot, everyday and had fun plotting or just making up head canon stuff with Atlas and my Noah or Markus and Noah. But I’m terrified now and know I deserve it because I couldn’t make any of you happy by existing.

To this day I still don’t understand why after everything you so easily and instantly turned your back and ghosted me after Corinth. Worse, allowed others on there to then send me hate, spread lies, drag up ancient drama that was long proven to be lies and through in all the ‘ist’ words they could think of for that chef’s kiss of trying to cancel someone. But at the same time, I’m not surprised by it either. When I was posting just on invisionfree forums I had a buddy named Ryan who I was great friends with and I coded a lot of RPs for. Only for him to not like some of the members and some how I had mad drama with them. Then with him and then ultimately kicked out of the group I made. Later he told me he would tell them I was saying stuff about them and trying to get them kicked out of the RP. The more drama they stirred and the more I defended myself he hopes they’d leave but if the drama got to bad he’d gladly kick me out of the group as he knew no matter what he did or caused, I’d always come back to him and wanna be friends. I still wanna talk and post with him to this day.

Griffin did the same thing to me. A guy I, like with you, talked to everyday for hours. Personal stuff, random crap, our characters, plans for the threads we had whatever. He didn’t like that I preformed too many actions in a post to progress it so he begun telling people I was power playing and forcing him into things. He knew they took that in the worse possible light and not that I simply made my character do more than say a response and make one action. Ultimately he got the whole RP to ignore me, ridicule me if I popped up in the OOC and even tell me to kill myself and that everyone hated me. And I did try to do as they suggested. I still wanted to talk to and post with him though.

Then Sam, she was a friend who trolled the previous mentioned RP. She knew they believed I was trolling them and sending nasty anon hate to them and members. She knew this and ramped up what she did solely because the admin pissed her off and if they thought it was me, well, who could it hurt? Jay (not Corinth jay but another one) did much the same. He stole many of the ideas, coding, and interactive elements of my first RP. Told members many lies to get them to leave my RP to join his instead. I still let him back on my RP as I missed my friend and RP buddy.

I have a history of trusting the wrong people. Of opening up to them and investing in an actual friendship with them only for them to abuse me in the end as they know I’ll always come back. Even now as I am finishing up the revamps to my RP I’m finding myself wondering what you’d think and if you’d enjoy RPing there. Why do I do that to myself? I know I have episodes due to being bipolar and that I have abandonment issues like no other. That I always try to please everyone even at the cost finically, emotionally, and even physically, of myself. I wonder if I hate myself so much that I just do that to myself. I do sometimes think I deserve all of this, to be told to end myself, to have the friend I allow in to stab me in the back . To be used, abused, and then tossed into the bins. I even find myself thinking of it’ll make people happy that I just disappear and am never heard from again that I should do it. I fail at so much, making my online friends happy, keeping them, why did I fail to do what they wanted and end it?

I’m such a glutton for punishment I actually did rejoin Corinth around Halloween. Used one of my aliases just as Nolan is one. No one suspected and I was actually well liked and all I did differently was talking regularly to more than three people. It still wasn’t for me though, far too much of a clique. I left RPing on tumblr after that. I felt so great zero drama and no one playing Mean Girl games just because they knew I existed still. But now I’m almost done revamping my RP, I want to try it again. I hate that I allowed toxic people to get to me and feel like shit just because they have issues their immature minds tell them it’s ok to destroy someone with mental issues and end something they put so much hard work and planning into just because.... someone got a message from them I guess. I don’t want any drama this time. I just want to stick to my group and the couple I’m currently RPing in, in peace. But at the same time, I wanna run everything passed you and get your input like when I was first making it. I’m nervous, jittery, and feel like I wanna throw up. But not because I worry for the RP lasting or getting members. But because I’m waiting for when your Corinth buddies will attack my RP and me again. When whatever drama they have somehow is my fault again even though I don’t even know who those people are let alone their blogs or what they do. But I know it’s going to happen. That type of person can’t let it not happen. They have to destroy someone, anyone to make themselves feel better. I’m scared and not because I know this will happen again. It’s because I know I’m going to to fail and the first attack from them is going to make me feel like I failed them and need to end either my RP or myself just to make them happy and leave me alone again. Well this turned into a ramble. Guess I’ll sign off this account. I got that off my chest. Don’t think it’ll help, it’ll probably be ignored really and my little prophecy will come to pass. But at least I got it down for when it does.

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wherethemusetakesme · 3 years

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ooc:

Okay, I think it’s time to say it: I’m gonna be cutting back my RPing on tumblr, a lot.

I know someone’s thinking it: “but Cheetah, you rarely ever RP on here anyway, how can you possibly cut it back even MORE?”

Just... bear with me, okay? While the most recent five months of inactivity was due to my course, which has finished now, having to go slow on RPing during that time has made me think about a few things.

And I guess I realised something. There are, like, 40 or more threads in my drafts, and it was nice to just... not feel the pressure to catch up with them all? It was a pressure that I’d been putting on myself for so long; but it made me wonder if I should, maybe, not go back to doing that all over again.

Plus, I want to focus on my own creative projects more. Tumblr RP is great; it’s been an invaluable experience, and I’ve loved interacting with so many of you! But at the end of the day, it’s become a stretch on my creative energies to work on so much here as well as my own personal projects: working on either feels too much like neglecting the other, and my focus on both suffers. I really want to make a comic, or even my own animated series; and if I am to take on such a big project, I need to seriously re-evaluate how I’m dividing up my creative energy.

I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do; I don’t want to abandon my partners and all our threads over here. But I’m realising that, for me, this sort of RP works better when it’s a casual way to just let off steam; and trying to drag myself through a mountain of drafts is the opposite of that.

I might cut down my number of muses severely; or maybe limit myself primarily to plotted threads - since I haven’t had chance to do any of those of late - and / or quick spontaneous things that I don’t drag out for so long. I’m not really sure. I just know I can’t keep on in the same way I had been; something is going to change, and I just need to work out what.

But, yeah. Thanks for listening to me ramble; and thank-you for the times I’ve had RPing with you, everyone! It’s been great, it truly has; I just think I’m ready to change my approach, start moving on to a different way of looking at this. I’m not going anywhere, for the time being; but catching up on everything is no longer going to be my main focus when I’m here.

I’m sorry I’ve been a bad RP partner, with all of this. And thanks, once again, for all your patience!

#ooc #Mun rambles #mun update

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motivatedtale-blog · 4 years

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About Motivatedtale

.:Contents:.

.:Author’s Note:.

.:Summary/Idea:.

.:Characters:.

Motive

Unmotivated

.:Stray Facts and Resources:.

FAQ

Rules

.:Inspiration:.

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.:Author’s Note:.

Hey, so I've noticed this a long time ago but I’m just now confronting it since I got my computer fixed- it seems pretty impossible to reach the “About Motivatedtale” on mobile, even with the literal LINK to the page (I could only sort of access it through some loopholes in a browser- and the link just took me to my Tumblr instead), so I wanted to compile the information that’s in there into a post for any mobile users who may follow this blog. I’ve got more followers here than my art blog-- so even if there’s not much interaction each post, I think there’s at least a few people who might not have access to an about page here. Changes are very likely to be made and things will be added occasionally :)

.:Summary/Idea:.

“Have you ever wondered what happens to creations when a creator gives up?”

Motivatedtale is essentially an abandoned AU with no finished story or a plot. Which, ironically, not having a story is the story itself. It’s a tale about how the lack of motivation (along with other things like self doubt and lack of interest) in a Creator leaves a story unfinished, and with no reason to exist, no story, the AU is crumbling into nothingness, as it is being forgotten by the only one who knows about its existence- the Creator. However, there’s two characters in it that have to deal with that burden of having no ending or reasons to exist. And they’re completely aware of what’s going on.

At least, the first one that was created is aware, because they were made to be that way. They inform the only other character (Frisk/Motive) about all of this when they meet. They’re a Sans of course (which is sort of a self aware joke because a lot of people either start with the Sans of an AU when creating characters, subtly revolve around a Sans of an AU in a story, or the entire story literally and shamelessly revolves around a Sans. This is not an attack on anyone). This Sans goes by Unmotivated, and is quite bitter about existing. These characters have no finished story, no destiny, and no purpose. Being self aware of this can be a great burden on hope and happiness; ignorance is bliss, after all.

What the AU would’ve been if it was “completed” is unsure.

How the story ends is not fully decided or meant to be disclosed (for now), but even if this AU is finished or not, it is already technically complete. It symbolizes a project that is given up on; a project that is abandoned, and what would happen if the characters in these types of projects were conscious about this- if our ideas existed somewhere out there, somewhere where our decisions, intentional and unintentional, have a serious affect.

So, if this AU is abandoned, it’ll be quite ironic.

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.:Characters:.

Motive

Motive is the Frisk of this AU, and one of only two characters that are in this AU. Motive was created after Unmotivated, but the coloring of their design was given up on towards the very end. Their sweater is unfinished because the creator gave up on them due to being overwhelmed with empty and destructive thoughts, but the outline/shape is still there. The sleeve usually is never shaded/effected by light.

Motive is an optimist, and believes that their AU will one day be finished. They have the soul of motivation, which is outwardly visible and tied to the loose hanging strap of their overalls. They don’t have preferences in pronouns (though they/them is usually the default), and calling them by any pronoun is fine (she/he/they/it..it really doesn’t matter, honestly).

Motive acts impulsively a lot of times and does not think of the consequences of their actions…or, they do, but they choose to move forward with their actions anyways. Since optimism is one of their key traits and it’s exaggerated and simplified in their character and logic, it can result in some bad outcomes. The same goes for their impulsitivity. They’re not that serious natured, and act more like a child than a young adult (despite being 18). However, they do make a lot of (sometimes unnerving) jokes that could be considered uncomfortable, but they mean no harm. While Motive is quite intelligent and empathetic, they’re distracted quite easily and might say or do inappropriate things during certain situations.

Since Motive is technically a new character and was not fully developed by their Creator (backstory, powers, etc), their underdevelopment as a character is actually a big part of their development as a character.

(More is to be added later)

Unmotivated

The Sans of the AU, and the first ever character created (which again is poking fun of the idea that people usually start with the Sans of the AU for characters). Unmotivated is bitter and cynical towards his existence and his Creator, and is completely aware of the multiverse and AU Creators. A big fourth wall breaker. He’s apathetic, bored and often paints himself as emotionless and uncaring to hide any hurt/feelings of helplessness. He bottled them away a long time ago. At first, Unmotivated was hopeful about his AU, but he was alone for an unspecified but long amount of time in his AU, and was driven to toxicity and bitterness during that time. He’s seen his universe grow, halt, and then slowly deteriorate- he has seen new ideas come and go, and is helpless to stop the rampant decay of his universe- his home- his story. He’s overall a pretty lonely character.

When or why he got the nickname “Unmotivated” is unclear- but it’s definitely supposed to be a pun. He hates the name but finds it funny and ironic at the same time.

Unmotivated’s soul is held by a string that is woven into his rain coat. He considers this to be poor design choice but doesn’t really do anything to fix it. He often keeps his soul in his pocket for safe keeping. (More is to be added later)

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.:Stray Facts:.

• The AU resets (sort of like an update) each time a new idea is added. This is how Unmotivated is generally aware of Motive when they’re created. • The “Creator” resembles anyone who has abandoned or given up on their projects or ideas. This isn’t meant to put people that do this in a negative light.

•The white of Motive’s sleeve isn’t meant to be shaded since it’s “incomplete.”

FAQ (most are from amino since not many people ask here)

- What was the AU supposed to originally be before it was abandoned?

This is undecided and left up for interpretation. However, based off of the design of the current characters, it can be safely assumed that the AU was supposed to be more lighthearted and cutesy. There are random bits and ideas spread throughout the AU that give glimpses to what it could’ve been.

- Can I draw fanart of these characters?

Of course! I’d be honored to receive fanart and would love to see it! Just please keep things appropriate if you do.

- Is Ink Sans or Core Frisk going to be in the comic?

No.

I’ve gotten asked this several times, and the answer is no. Doing this would completely ruin the theme and point I’m trying to get across with this comic. This story revolves around a Creator and their Creations, and there will be no other characters made by other people.

- Are Motive and Unmotivated shipped together?

NO.

It’s fine as a joke but please realize they aren’t. This isn’t an AU centered around romance and would distract from the goal of the comic if I had that. While I’m not anti-frans in any sense, I still don’t want it in my comic.

- How often do you plan on updating the comic?

Each page is published whenever I finish it nowadays due to stress of a schedule. I post them in bulks of 2-3 on amino and twitter, and whenever I finish the page on deviantart, instagram and here.

- Is the Creator a character?

Yes, and no. The Creator represents not only myself, but any artist that has struggles putting their creations out there due to insecurities or other causes. They’re more symbolic and fluent rather than a structured and identified character. Of course though, if there is any introduction of the Creator, I would have to give them some sort of design- and I do have general ideas of what they’d look like. However, they’re still supposed to represent a broader group of people than just myself.

- What does Unmotivated think about other AUs/Sanses?

Unmotivated has an apathetic mindset when it comes to AUs and other characters like him. He’s incredibly self aware and sees a much bigger picture. He knows characters are just pawns to their creator, and won’t get fazed by any story. Sort of like watching actors in a movie while constantly reminding yourself that they’re just actors. However, he is quite envious of anyone with a complete and happy storyline, since that’s something he lacks but yearns the most. That’s something he wish he had.

Keep in mind Unmotivated and Motive cannot interact or travel outside of their AU, and no one can interact with their AU except the editor/creator.

Rules

• Please do not publicly RP with these characters unless given permission. This might be changed after more of the comic is complete, but I do not want these character’s personalities to be strewn.

• Please do not draw or write NSFW with my characters– I am a minor, and a large part of my audience are also minors.

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.:Inspiration:.

Alright, this part is going to be a lot less formal and more personal. The idea for this AU came from my own self doubt and self destructive attitude as a creator. Doubting my own works and ideas has seriously held me back for a long time, and it STILL holds me back as I’m sure it has for many, MANY other creators like me. Musicians, artists, writers.. Almost all of us have that fear of trying out a new idea or making something you usually wouldn’t. Almost all of us have felt that crushing self doubt when you see someone better than you, and you tell yourself you’ll never be like them, your art will never be that great, you’ll never get that far…so on, so on.

So, while I was trying to come up with an idea for an AU (which I had actually been considering for well over a year), the thoughts crept in.

“no one will like this”

“there’s enough AU’s”

“you’re unoriginal”

“this is a waste of time”

“the fandom is dying”

“you have horrible character designs”

“AU’s are overrated”

“this doesn’t fit your audience”

“people will judge you”

“you never finish anything”

“this is stupid”

“your art isn’t good enough”

“you’re not good enough”

“someone probably already came up with this idea”

“no one cares about your idea”

“no one would bother with your art”

And ironically, all these thoughts gave me this idea.

Even so, these thoughts have still been nagging me every time I even try to work on this, and it’s been taking a lot of courage to take on the heap of anxiety I have over something so harmless. I didn’t join the Undertale fandom for over a year simply because I was afraid of being judged for my interests,, fun fact. Never thought I’d be able to make an AU. I’m still quite nervous posting art of anything that isn’t Mario related for some reason.

Putting all this to side though, I find the concept of what happens to unfinished and/or abandoned stories and projects interesting, especially if there’s an alternate reality that’s actually effected by your decisions. Kinda like you’re a god. I mean, imagine what it would be like if you had a creator and they just gave up on you, and you’re left with no purpose. Seems like it would suck, haha.

So that’s basically my AU, Motivatedtale. If you have any thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks for reading if you did!

#Motivatedtale #undertale au #comic #about page #alternate universe #information #motivatedtale comic #au #au comic #au sans #au frisk #motive #unmotivated

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