#3) my twin sister has a fianceé and lives in another country for gods sake

[indestinatus]

why is life so hard

#for those who dont know i'm retaking med exams #because i didnt pass them last year #and im just so... sad #because it's never easy #why do all my friends get the life i dreamed of? and i stay here #1) i dont have a job 2) i live with my parents #3) my twin sister has a fianceé and lives in another country for gods sake #can you name a bigger disappointment? my TWIN sister #rock bottom. again. #i promised i wasnt going to let my emotions play such a big part again but #i just cant #it's inhumane #i do everything i can and i'm still dumb and i can't fix this #and it's not even that hard i'm just not good enough for this #sorry i needed to vent urgently #yes it's all i've wanted and all i've dreamed of #so i'll keep trying but wow. it breaks my heart #i studied so hard. for so long. i did everything i could. it's such a hard lesson #sometimes it's not enough #sometimes it doesn't happen because I physically can't push past my intelligence #i'm simply not intelligent for this #i know i'm victimizing myself but wow i wanted it so bad #i spent days dreaming about it and nights studying #and to see friends get positions i wanted just breaks my heart #always watching never participating #yes i've learned when I was 13 i was way less intelligent than my sister but still #this was such a different path from hers and i still couldnt do it #now i have no idea what to do because it's a fortune every year to pay for these exams #and i dont know if theres anything else i could do #sofia rambles