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#AND THE TRAILER IS LITERALLY NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIE Y'ALL DONT' UNDERSTAND
ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 10 months
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Y’ALL THE MARKETING TEAM DID PIXAR’S ELEMENTAL SO DIRTY
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itsthwippingtime · 4 years
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so on Thanksgiving i saw Frozen 2 and it was AMAZING and I've only just now had the time and energy to finish my thoughts on the movie and share it with y'all so here it is. Disclaimer: Sorry for how long it is
!!!!! MAJOR FROZEN 2 SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!!!!!!
first, baby anna and elsa???? I’m dead
thjkhsdhjk the story they came up with is literally how every child played with barbie dolls and doll houses
(children are so dramatic also why did we all have the same childhood)
oooh mystery about the past 
their dad is so dramatic now i know where Anna and Elsa get it from
four spirits: Earth Wind Air Water how original
(everything changed when the fire nation attacked)
(okay but while their dad was telling the story about the northedral (???) i was totaling believing this is where Elsa got her powers from)
THEIR DAD WAS SAVED BY THE VOICE
(but Elsa was born with powers so her mom is totally magical)
where the nORTH WIND MEEEEETS THE SEEEAAAAA
i love their mom omg i love this song also
(okay but at this point i was like??? did their mom save their dad)
ELSA IN PURPLE I LOVE HER
Elsa being startled and sticking herself to the railing with ice is comedic gold
ANNA’S HAIR I LOVE IT
why is Olaf’s never-ending existential crisis the most relatable thing in this movie 
also i love this song about things never changing
hi the line about a stone wall never falling??? FORESHADOWING
KRISTOFF LOVES HER I LOVE HIM HE IS SO PURE
HE HAS A RING
Elsa singing about being afraid of change but seizing the day?? CHARACTER GROWTH 
Arendelle flag will always fly??? FORESHADOWING
family game night??? i fucking love it
Olaf shouldn’t be allowed to play charades that way Anna is right
but Olaf imitating Elsa??? iconic
Elsa playing charades is me playing charades
THE VOICE
TELL ANNA ELSA
oooh Kristof honey don’t,, don’t do it like that,,, honey
if Elsa is comforted by their mom’s scarf where was their mom’s scarf in the first movie??
Anna singing Elsa to sleep????? so pure
THE VOICE (AGAIN!)
INTO THE UNKNOOOOOWWWWWWWN
i love this song
‘Everyone I’ve ever loved is here within these walls’ so she loves Kristof???? good me too
where does Kristof sleep?
THE SPIRITS!!! HER ICE IS SHOWING HER THE SPIRITS RIGHT????
oh its the part with the ice suspended in air from the trailer
EARTH AIR FIRE AND WATER 
so um the fire went out and its windy and they’re going to the cliffs???? okay???
ummm Elsa did you awake the spirits on purpose??? did you know what you were doing?? you never said it was an accident????
Elsa you cant go alone you’re team has to go with you or else its not much of a movie now is it Elsa. don’t be selfish share some screen time
i just love their outfits so much i want to be a princess in Norway please and thanks
Olaf and his fun facts are literally me
ELSA’S ICE CASTLE THERE SHE IS i wonder if they ever go there. is it a vacation home
water has memory FORESHADOWING
‘Elsa and Olaf are asleep,,, whatcha wanna do?’ UM WHAT
’Sven, keep us steady’ UMMMMM WHAT
THIS IS A PG MOVIE I WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE NEXT TO MY TEN YEAR OLD COUSIN THANKS DISNEY
oh Kristof honey
oh no Anna he didnt mean it like that
Kristof stop just stop
ooooh the voice is back
‘Kristof stop’ ‘Good idea’ I’m dead
i don’t really remember what happens in between them stopping and them finding the mist if anything but THE MIST
oooh they’re locked in. nice
okay so wind. thats fun.
the wind spirit is v smart because she knows which one is Elsa 
her name is Gale and i love her
hello water has memory
their father being saved by a young girl??? it’s their mom
okay so the northuldra (i googled it) begin to attack? or advance at least
ARENDELLE GUARDS
okay but lieutenant whats his name can get it
they’re frenemies
Olaf’s recap of the first Frozen is comedic gold i want him and Luis from Ant-Man to get together
i don’t really remember what happens at this part but: Elsa and Anna learn that their mom saved their dad (CALLED IT), their mom is northuldra (KINDA CALLED IT) and everyones been trapped in the mist since their grandfather was killed
(which that story is fishy but i don’t think king Elsa & Anna’s dad would lie so????)
OH WAIT FIRE SPIRIT HAPPENED BEFORE ELSA AND ANNA LEARNED ABOUT THEIR MOM
AND OLAF’S SONG OMG
samantha?
(that part was so simple yet so funny omfg)
olaf: “this will all make sense when i am older” all the adults in the room: :/
also notice how Elsa is mindful enough to keep the fire spirit away from the northuldra’s homes??? like i love her???
I LOVE HIM i think his name is Brunie but i don’t know how the people at the Disney Store came to that conclusion 
oh also Kristof and Sven run in to save the reindeer but Anna is only worried about Elsa??? idk maybe she knows Kristof can take care of himself and knows that Kristof knows when it becomes too dangerous but Elsa is going to try to stop the threat until she physically can’t and at that point it may be too late okay i get it
(okay but if they’ve been trapped and nothing can get in or out what do they eat??? like theres a lot more northuldra than arendelle guards so do they have designated areas they’re allowed to go in?? what do they do with the people who died?? probably bury them)
(also some if them are born in there and they’ve been in for decades so a generation maybe the beginning of the next one but how many of them are related????)
Kristof has a new friend and I’m so glad they’re not fighting over Anna
(take that toxic masculinity)
HES GONNA HELP HIM PROPOSE I LOVE IT
Reindeers are better than people (cont’d.)
the following are my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods
that guitar riff (?) at the very beginning? sexy
“you had to go and of course its always fine”
because Kristof loves Anna and knows that Anna loves him and they can do different things and still be in love and he doesn’t have to constantly be over her and controlling what she does
(take that toxic masculinity part TWO)
OKAY BUT Kristof saying its fine while simultaneously worrying that he’s losing Anna is absolutely breaking my heart
NORTH IS SOUTH RIGHT IS LEFT WHEN YOU’RE GONE
Kristof: “and i don’t know what path you are on” me: :((((
I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS A QUESTION OF WHETHER
WHO AM I???? IF IM NOT YOUR GUUUYYY?????
WHERE AM I???? IF WE’RE NOT TOGETHEEEERRRRRRR??????? FOREEEEVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRR
NOW I KNOW YOU’RE MY TRUE NORTH CAUSE I AM LOST IN THE WOODS
UP IS DOWN DAY IS NIGHT WHEN YOU’RE NOT THERE
YOU’RE MY ONLY LANDMARK SO IM LOST IN THE WOODS
WONDERING IF YOU STILL CARE
BUT ILL WAIT FOR A SIGN
(FOR A SIGN) 
(peep the Queen reference)
THAT I’M YOUR PATH CAUSE YOU ARE MIN
UNTIL THEN IM LOST IN THE WOODS
this concludes my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods
every time i type Lost In The Woods I wanna type Lost Into The Woods
okay SO
Olaf doing the siren call with Elsa is comedic gold
THEIR PARENTS SHIP OH MY GOD
peep Olaf with that gruesome “maybe there was nobody on board” when they asked how the ship was able to get through the mist
peep Olaf with the “why didn’t they just make the whole ship waterproof” 
THEY WERE GOING TO FIND WHERE THE NORTH WIND MEETS THE SEA THE RIVER FILLED WITH MEMORIES
THEY WERE GOING FOR ELSA
WATER HAS MEMORY BITCH
ELSA BBY ITS NOT YOUR FAULT
LISTEN TO ANNA YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CHOICES
so they go to the river
(low-key thought that was their goal the whole time but its fine)
ELSA!!! ANNA AND OLAF HAVE TO GO WITH YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING
if Disney doesn’t make the ice-canoe part of the Frozen Ride in Epcot in some way shape or form i will be deeply disappointed
uh oh rock giants
oh waterfall
cave
thats fun
ah Olaf always the optimist
(but where did Anna get flint?)
Anna’s hair??? i love it
oooh Elsa on the beach
she can’t get her shoes or coat wet i understand
PONYTAIL?????
GO BITCH
YAAASSS QUEEN USE THOSE ICE POWERS
oh shit that water horse is trying to drown her
what the fuck he’s actually trying to drown her
AH SHIT ITS ELSA’S WATER HORSE NOW
YAAASSSS BITCH
sdahjhdskjhdsjk
ITS A GLACIER BECAUSE WHY FUCKING NOT
every inch of me is trembling
SHOOWW YOURSELLLF
ELSA HAS A DUET WIHT HER MOMN
IM FINE
ELSASN IS TBHE FIFHT SPRIT
THE BRIDGE
ELSA’S NEW OUTFIT AND HER HAIR I WANT
WATER HAS MEMORY
Elsa destroyed Han’s memory I’m dead
OH SHIT KING RICHARD (Elsa & Anna’s grandfather, i don’t remember his name)
KING RICHARD IS AFRAID YAASSS QUEEN TELL HIM ELSA
WAIT ELSA
GO TO FAR AND YOULL BE DROWNED 
ELSA WAIT
oh shit she jumped
OH SHIT SHES COLD BUT THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED HER ANYWAY
OH SHIT KING RICHARD KILLING THAT GUY FOR NO REASON
OH SHIT ELSA’S FROZEN
BUT SHE SHOT OUT ONE LAST ICE THINGY
we now return to this episode of Olaf and Anna Alone In A Dimly Lit Area With A Little Bit Of Fire
YAASSS ANNA GOT THE MESSAGE
BREAK THE DAMN
but Arendelle
OLAF
why isn’t that when Olaf and Anna are alone one of them is always dying
now i understand the no context memes featuring spider-man from Infinity War
okay so you’re telling me that Anna learned that her sister is frozen (pun intended) and Olaf dies in her arm and she still finds the energy to save Arendelle/the forest???
GO ANNA YOU GO GIRL ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
DISNEY CAN’T KILL ELSA AND OLAF THEY’D LOOSE TOO MUCH MONEY 
oh shit the rock giants
KRISTOF TO THE RESCUE
AND SVEN OF COURSE
WHAT DO YOU NEED I LOVE HIM
THEY BROKE THE DAMN
OH NO ANNA DONT FALL
ANNA GET OUT OF THERE
LIEUTENANT WHATS HIS NAME AND KRISTOF SAVE ANNA TOGETHERDSKJAD
ELSA AND THE WATER HROSE THEY SAVE ARENDELLE SYDJHASDJKFHSDA
the Arendelle citizens literally are so hilarious to me all they know is: the spirits are mad and all the heirs to their thrones went on a dangerous journey to save their kingdom, with no guards to protect them, then a tidal wave comes rushing towards their homes and suddenly their Queen who has always been quiet, modest, and reserved comes riding in on a fucking water horse in a boss ass outfit with her hair down and saves the kingdom. like???? imagine being on that cliff??? and all they do is clap???? I’m so dead
poor Anna :((( but Kristof is doing his best to comfort him like i love him
ELSA GO TO HER ANNA GO 
THEY’RE CRYING CAUSE THEYRE SO HAPPY KJDASDHSJKHFJKSAD
ARENDELLE IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY
OLAF IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY
KRISTOF PROPOSED IN THE DORKIEST WAY BUT ANNA’S REACTION WAS THE CUTEST I LOVE IT
(WATER HAS MEMORY)
ELSA STAYS AND ANNA IS QUEEN
CUT TO ANNA’S CORONATION AND THE NEW STATUE AND THE ENCHANTED FOREST IS ICE NOW AND ELSA HAS A WATER/ICE HORSE AND GALE HELPS ANNA AND ELSA COMMUNICATE AND THE ROCK GIANTS ARE NICE AND BRUNIE IS STILL THE CUTEST AND ANNA AND ELSA STILL HAVE FAMILY GAME NIGHT
(okay but did anyone else find it odd that Elsa didn’t go to Anna’s coronation)
(also the Northudral are just totally fine with living in ice and snow and cold now too??? idk i guess Elsa asked first but whatever its not like they can say much she’s the fifth spirit so)
Olaf wearing clothes has me dead
Anna: tells Kristof she likes him “better in leather” me: when does he wear… leather :O (Anna’s freaky yo)
final thoughts: Amazing movie, the constant shade of Hans was absolute gold, Kristof is so pure, Anna and Elsa’s relationship is so amazing, everyone’s character growth is absolutely amazing
if you read all of this, bless you child I’m so sorry it was so long
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