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justabunchofcrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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It took me fifteen years, but I have finally realized the tragedy that is the treatment of Jacob Black in the Twilight Series. Hallelujah, I have seen the light. So here's a one shot of Bella making the RIGHT choice after the newborn battle in Eclipse.

Run to You

"You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know." (Haymitch, The Hunger Games)

I was exhausted. Worrying about my family and friends being hurt, or dying, trying to protect me was exhausting. Being a weak, defenseless human surrounded by supernatural creatures was exhausting. Constantly wondering when Edward would realize that I wasn't worth all of this trouble and leave (again) was exhausting. Not recognizing the person I had become; a person who was insecure and needy and selfish, was exhausting. And him. Trying to pretend that I wasn't in love with him was the most exhausting. And I didn't want to do it anymore.

I didn't get very far before driving became impossible. I just needed to make it a little bit farther, just get past the treaty line and then I could pull over to the side of the road. I could take a few minutes to pull myself together and everything would be fine. At least that's what I kept telling myself, but it was kind of hard to see how when the road was blurring in front of me. When I couldn't see anymore, I let my tires find the rough shoulder and roll slowly to a stop. My hands shook as I put my truck in park and then quickly, almost instinctively, wrapped around my stomach, as if trying to hold myself together. Well here we are again, a voice in the back of my brain said. How many times could a person's heart be ripped in half before it refused to heal? I slumped over on the seat and allowed the weakness I'd been fighting crush me. It was worse than I thought. Yes, I had been right to hide this. No one should ever see this. Also, I was pretty sure if he had, he never would have let me go.

I wasn't alone for very long - I didn't even jump when I heard the tapping on the window of the truck. I worked to see through the relentless stream of tears obscuring my vision. There was someone standing outside of the truck, peering in through the driver's side window, probably wondering what the problem was. A blurry glimpse of a bare chest and short black hair caused my heart to clench so hard I gasped before realizing that it was just Quil. He must have been on patrol with some of the other wolves and spotted my truck on the side of the road. I pulled myself up off of the seat and fought with the door handle for a second before I was able to get it open.

"Bella?" Quil asked "Are you okay?" He paused. "Right. Stupid question. Obviously you're not okay. Sorry. Um, shit. What can I do? Do you want me to take you to Jake... or some where else...?" he seemed to tack that last part on with some hesitation, but I appreciated the thought.

What did I need? There were so many ways that I could answer that question. Therapy probably. To stop hurting everyone that I cared about, absolutely. The ability to split myself into two different people, so that I could make both Edward and Jacob happy, would be helpful. But there was only one thing that truly mattered at that moment; the reason why I was here, crying on the side of the road.

"Jacob" the name coming out more like a plea than an answer to a question. And once I started I couldn't stop. The sound of "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob." joined the sounds of sobbing and shaky gasping breaths. I couldn't tell if Quil answered me or not, and after a minute of silence I wondered if he was still there. But then I felt an arm slide behind my back and a hand grip my hip before shifting me to the side so that I was sitting in the middle of the truck's seat. Quil slid behind the wheel and pulled me in to tuck against his side before pulling the truck back onto the road. Normally I would have felt at least a little embarrassed about essentially cuddling up to someone I hadn't really spent that much time with, but Quil was warm and I was so cold. I was so tired of being cold.

Jacob

I was laying in bed when I heard the knock at the front door. Well, knock probably wasn't the right word, it sounded more like someone kicking at the door in an attempt at knocking. The weird knocking wasn't the thing that I noticed the most though. Because what was really weird was that I hadn't heard a car pull up out front first, or even the sound of someone walking up the gravel drive to the front porch. Heightened hearing was one of the perks of the whole turning into a giant wolf thing, so I usually knew right away when someone came to the house. Dr. Fang must've really overdone it on the pain meds this time. He still wasn't sure about the dosage because of my higher than average metabolism and seemed to be going with the trial and error method. Although, if I had to pick, I guess a little stoned was better than being in pain. Or physical pain anyway. The drugs were doing absolutely nothing to stop the thoughts running through my head. Well, one thought, really, repeating over and over, like a broken record. Bella, Bella, Bella…

Billy must have let whoever it was in and by the time I had focused on trying to figure out who it was, my bedroom door was being pushed open. Quil stood in the doorway cradling Bella against his chest and for a second I had a flash of a memory. Bella being carried from the woods by Sam. The haunted look in her eyes. The broken sobs. This was entirely too much like that.

"Bella! What the hell happened?! Is she okay?"

"I don't know man. I was out on patrol and saw her truck on the side of the road. I asked her what was wrong but she just kept saying your name over and over, so I brought her here." Quil hesitated like he wasn't sure what he should do now. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to jump up from the bed and get her. But I was still on "bed rest" until the doc could be sure I wouldn't re injure myself. I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath, attempting to remain calm, "Well bring her here." Quil looked relieved to have some direction and he quickly laid her on the bed next to me before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as she was on the bed Bella curled into my side, still sobbing. I started to wrap my arms around her before remembering that the entire right side of my body was basically useless. I threw my head back against the mattress, cursing quietly out of frustration. Then settled for bringing my left hand up to start rubbing Bella's shoulder and back. "Shh, its okay. I'm here. What happened?" I had hoped that she'd look up, but when did Bella ever make things easy.

"Bells?" I tried again. Still nothing. This time I kept the cursing confined to inside my head. Or I tried to anyway.

"I'm losing my mind here Bells. You've just gotta talk to me. I'm suck here in this damn bed and I can barely fucking move and you're scaring me and I need to at least know if you're hurt. Did he hurt you?" I worked on trying to slow the tremors moving through my body. The doc would be pissed if I phased now and ruined all of his hard work. Plus Bella was freaking out enough and I had to keep it together for her. I still needed her to at least answer my question though, "Dammit Bella, just tell me what he did to you." Still no answer. She was trying to kill me with stress. That was it. That newborn hadn't finished the job, so she was going to do it. "Bella, I swear to god-"

Finally, she answered me, "He didn't hurt me," except that she could only get about one word out at a time, she was crying so damn hard. I waited for her to continue, to explain it so that I could understand, but she was quiet. Well, besides the crying.

"Okay, good, cause all of the broken bones might have made it difficult for me to kick his ass." I joked, hoping to make her laugh, or get angry, anything really as long as she stopped crying. But the tears kept pouring out of her eyes, soaking my shirt while she pulled in great mouthfuls air.

I sighed, "Bells?"

Bella whispered something against my chest, so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. But I was focused now and it sounded like she said, "They're leaving." It took me a minute to process what she was saying, partially because the pain killers made all of my thoughts sort of fuzzy around the edges. "They're leaving?" I repeated it back to her like a question, "Not 'We're leaving.'?" She just shook her head without picking it up.

"So, the Cullens are leaving. Edward is leaving. And you're not going with them." I said the words slowly, not to cause her pain, even though I'm sure it did, but because I had to be sure that I understood. That I wasn't missing something. That the tiny ray of hope that I felt starting to crawl out of the deep, dark corner of my mind where I had buried it wasn't just me setting myself up to get my heart broken (again). Bella sobbed even harder, her gasping breaths broken up by hiccups, as she nodded her head.

So, I guess the bastard couldn't handle the competition after all. I was surprised, I hadn't expected him to give up that easily. And there was the hope again. But I shoved it back down and tried to focus. Because Bella was still crying and making those ugly, broken sounds and it was my job to make her feel better. "Hey, shhh. It'll be okay, honey." I murmured before pressing my lips to the top of her head. My hand continued to rub up and down her arm and across her back. "I'm sorry. Was he mean to you? I didn't mean for you to have to go through that alone. I was thinking I'd be there. And I'm sorry he left you." Bella had gone still, but when she didn't say anything, I continued. "I mean, I'm not sorry that he's gone, but I'm sorry he hurt you. He's an idiot." And then Bella was crying again and I was failing miserably at the whole, making her feel better is my job, thing. "Shit, sorry honey, I guess that's not what you want to hear right now. But IT IS going to be okay." I stressed, because I needed her to believe me. "It sucks right now, but you've gotten through this before. And you don't have to do it alone. I'm gonna be with you the whole time, whatever it takes. Maybe this time won't be as bad because you kinda know what to expect. And I'll be good, I promise. No pressure. I'll be whatever you need me to be. And it'll be okay."

"Wait, stop," Bella interrupted my rambling. She took a deep breath and looked up at me, "Edward isn't leaving because he's mad at me for loving you. He's leaving because I asked him to. Because I'm in love with you." Her voice was all watery from crying and the tears never really stopped, but those words were still the most wonderful thing I'd ever heard. I couldn't have pushed back the hope now even if I wanted to (not that I did want to). Bella picked me. I hadn't realized until just then how much I had been preparing myself to lose. But she had really picked me. I wanted to kiss her and spin her around my tiny bedroom in circles and just show her how happy she made me. Except this wasn't like those stupid fairytale stories that Rebecca had always tried to read to me when we were kids. You know the ones; boy falls for girl, girl says no, boy is persistent, girl finally says yes, and they live happily ever after. Unless I missed the one where the girl was also in love with another boy at the same time and everyone involved got the hearts broken. Oh and one of the boys was a bloodsucking leech and the other turned into a giant wolf. Actually, there probably was one of those Grimm's fairytales that had something like that. But those didn't usually have happy endings.

No, this definitely was not a fairytale, because his girl was crying over another guy, which didn't seem like a great way to start a "happily ever after" even if it was her decision.

He wanted to talk to Bella about all of this. To figure out what she was thinking and where they would go from here, but Bella had gone back to crying into his chest and she had to be exhausted, so he would wait. He had promised to be good, afterall.

Bella

I don't how long I had been lying there, curled into the crook of Jake's arm, but it must have been a while, because he stirred a little and asked, "Hey honey, sorry, but it's getting late and I didn't know if there was somewhere you needed to be... or someone who was going to be looking for you..." he prompted. I managed to convey, after several attempts, that Charlie thought I was spending the night with Alice and that no one else needed to know where I was. He seemed satisfied with that answer and shifted to make himself more comfortable, while still keeping me tucked firmly against his side. I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head and say, "Then you should get some sleep."

He didn't say anything else after that. Just held me on the bed and let me ruin his shirt, staining it with salt water. Eventually, the sobs quieted, but the tears continued to flow steadily. It took longer than I thought it would for that smaller, broken part of me to cry herself out. It happened, though, and I was eventually exhausted enough to sleep. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease. It made it more bearable, but it was still there. I was aware of it, even asleep, and that helped me to make the adjustments I needed to make.

The morning brought with it, if not a brighter outlook, at least a measure of control, some acceptance. Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of me now. Time would make it easier - that's what everyone always said. But I didn't care if time healed me or not, so long as Edward could be happy again. That's what had been missing the last time; the acceptance. It's what had kept me from moving forward. But this time would be different.

When I woke up, there was no disorientation. I opened my eyes - finally dry - and met his anxious gaze.

"Hey," I said. My voice was hoarse. I cleared my throat. He didn't answer. He watched me, waiting for it to start.

"No, I'm fine," I promised. "That won't happen again." His eyes tightened in concern.

"That's great, Bells, but what exactly was that?" He asked.

I took a deep breath, just because I was prepared for this conversation, didn't mean it wasn't going to be painful.

"The Cullens are leaving." I repeated my answer from last night to make sure he had understood what I had tried to tell him while also breaking down. I could see the question in his eyes, so I answered it. "Yes, Edward is leaving too. And no, I'm not going with them." As I spoke I saw a hundred different emotions flicker in Jacob's eyes. The one that seemed to be winning was hope, but then it was like he caught himself and a neutral expression settled over his features. I hated it, he wasn't My Jacob, when he made that face. But I also knew that in this case, I had no one to blame but myself. My hindsight had become incredibly clear. I could see every mistake I'd made, every bit of harm I'd done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I'd caused Jacob, each wound I'd given Edward, stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny.

"I'm sorry." I pushed myself up, using my arm to lean on his chest so that I could meet his eyes. "I've made a real mess of things. I know I've caused you a lot of pain. But I finally realized I was wrong all along." At that, Jacob took a startled breath and looked like he was about to say something. I placed a finger against his lips, and he stopped. "Just let me get this out. I don't want there to be any confusion." His brow furrowed a little, but he waited for me to continue.

"I was wrong about the magnets," I explained. "I used to think about you and Edward as magnets; that you two were like opposite magnetic poles. I couldn't push you together no matter how hard I tried. But it was actually the two parts of myself, your Bella and Edward's Bella, that I was trying to force together. But they could not exist together, and I never should have tried." I could see the hope starting to win out in Jacob's eyes as he said quietly, "I knew you'd figure it out eventually." And the corner of his mouth twitched. "But still, you mind telling me how you figured it out?"

"It was the kiss, before the battle," I paused and made an effort to look stern, "which I'm still mad at you for, by the way. Threatening to kill yourself to make me kiss you?" I raised an eyebrow. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

I didn't have to work to be serious this time, "You will never do that to me again, got it?" Jacob glanced up from beneath his lashes and nodded. That's how I was sure that he knew he had messed up; that and the fact that he didn't try to argue with me at all. I continued, "But that's not the point right now. The point is, that when you kissed me, I saw the whole thing - our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy."

"So what's stopping you?" he whispered.

"I still love him, Jake, and I don't think that'll ever go away. That's not fair to you. There's probably someone out there much better for you." My heart broke a little as I spoke, especially when I considered how much it would hurt now, if he did decide that I wasn't worth all of this trouble.

"No." Jacob shook his head. "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would be effortless for us - comfortable, easy as breathing. I'm the natural path your life would have taken...." The corner of his lips twitched, forming a small smile. "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic..."

I could see what he saw, and I knew he was right. But I needed to make sure he understood fully. "He's like a drug for me, Jake. When I was with him, he was the only thing that mattered. I was ready to give up my life for him. But it's different with you." The corner of my mouth turned up in a wistful half-smile. "Like having my own personal sun. Not a drug, but air. You're healthier for me. So I'm choosing to have the life I want. I'm choosing to stay with Charlie and my mom. I'm choosing to have the chance to change and grow. I'm choosing to stay human. There's still a lot that we need to talk about and I'm going to need time. But I think you were right before when you said that if we had enough time you could help me be happy again. So I'm going to try. I'm going to try to stay here with you. If you decide you still want me, all things considered."

I only had to wait a second for his answer, and then I only had another second to appreciate the breathtaking smile that split his features, before he pulled me to him and crushed his lips to mine.

#twilight renaissance #twilight #jacob black #team jacob

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ssteezyy · 7 years

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Ask the Vet With Dr. Kris: Dr. Kris Answers March’s Questions

In February, we launched our new “Ask the Vet With Dr. Kris” segment. Once a month, we’ll post a reminder for you to post your questions for Dr. Kris. He’ll answer as many of them as he can each month, and I’ll publish his answers in a subsequent post.

Dr. Kristopher Chandroo is a veterinarian, scientist, photographer, animal welfare advocate, and creator of Stress to Success (STS): The Essential Guide to Medicating Your Feisty, Grumpy or Reluctant Cat. Dr. Kris wants your cats to be twenty years old. And counting! And he wants to provide medication and therapy to them in a way that respects the bond between cat and human.

Here are Dr. Kris’ answers to some of your questions asked in March. If your question didn’t get answered here, Dr. Kris will answer them on his own website, in the future. Subscribe to his updates so you’ll be notified when the answers are published.

Cat defecating outside the litter box

My fiance wants to get rid of my 17 year old male cat Ruford because he has resorted to defecating by the door of his “man cave.” I have had Ruford for 12 years as I adjusted to life alone. The vet ran the whole gamut of tests when he had diarrhea, and everything was negative and normal. The conclusion was IBS, and he takes probiotics with his canned food treat at night. He drinks well and eats better now. He even plays more with the other 2 cats (female). He clings to me when I get home from work (especially if I am hurting), and stays with me. I love Ruford and am fighting to keep him despite his crapping at the man cave door. (He will sometimes use Bella’s puppy pads to poop, but he always only uses the litter box to pee.) Please help us! Ruford is special, and I want to keep him until it’s his time… (Julie Blaskie)

Dr. Kris:

Hi Julie!

Let’s talk about your cat. Then about your fiancé.

We have 3 things to fix.

Many times our cats hide what is happening on the inside. They hide their problems.

They do things we don’t understand, and hide things all the time.

But not Ruford. He’s telling you what the problem is. He’s speaking in clear terms, and saying it very loud.

He pee’s in the box, but poops outside of it. But he’ll poop on the puppy pads.

How a cat pee’s in the box is different than how they poop in the box. The pressure on their back, hips, legs and feet are all different when they poop.

When you have a 17 years old cat, that pee’s in the box, but not poop, it’s often because it hurts when they poop in the box. They are arthritic, and they avoid the litter box.

They don’t have to limp. They don’t have to howl or cry in pain. It doesn’t matter if they pooped in the box just fine before and now they don’t. It doesn’t matter if their X-rays look normal. They will still eat and drink and be arthritic. They can still have their normal personality and be arthritic or in pain. They can still poop in the box on their better days, but look to poop elsewhere on their bad days.

You didn’t mention what type of pain you have Julie, but you don’t have to. Maybe it’s physical, maybe it’s something else. I don’t need to know which one.

But you know those days when you hurt?

Anyone with chronic pain knows what it’s like.

Other people might not have a clue based on how you look on the outside. But you know what you feel on the inside. And they have no idea what it takes just to keep going. Just to stay functioning on the outside. When your inside is on fire.

So you gotta look into 3 things.

A) Assess your cat for arthritis and treat it.

B) Reversing Litter Box Aversion (it’s what happens when they don’t like the box anymore).

C) Help the fiancé.

What did we say about cats earlier? Many times our cats hide what is happening on the inside. They hide their problems. They do things we don’t understand.

Well, us guys are the same.

“Get rid of the cat” could mean:

“I’m feeling disrespected that the cat is @#$# next to my favorite place in the house”. “I always tell you that there is poop here but you don’t do anything about it”. “I think he’s doing it for spite – the cat doesn’t like me and it’s my house too” “I had a cat that did that once, and he had a bad disease or I couldn’t fix it myself so I don’t want to even go there”.

There isn’t anything wrong about feeling this way.

But these are emotional responses, and not technical responses.

So you could tell him that Ruford is arthritic and he has litter box aversion, but he might not respond to that. Those are just the technical reasons of why he is pooping outside the man cave.

But you could tell him about the people that don’t understand you when you are hurting. The world can be very unkind to people with chronic pain. “Why don’t you just get over it” people can say. “Just pull up your bootstraps and if you just try and have willpower you will get better”.

Doesn’t work that way, does it?

Ruford is the same. He can’t just pull up his bootstraps and make it better.

He needs a world where people understand what he is going through.

And if not you and your fiancé, then who?

Because this is what we have to do in life.

When one of us gets weak, we need the other to help us.

We need people to put up with our BS, yet still want to be around us.

Tell him that you think you found the answer, and while it will take a bit of time to fix, there is a great chance this will get better if the arthritis and litter box aversion is managed.

Tell your fiancé that he’s special, and that we also want to keep him until his time….so the cat should stay, right?

Good Luck!

Aggressive Siamese bites to get attention

Hi Dr. Kris… I have a 3 year old female Siamese cat who is quite aggressive. This has been an issue since I got her at 8 weeks old. She will bite without warning, meaning that she goes for blood right away, there is no warning nibble. She is quite independent yet seems to crave attention and she will resort to biting to get attention.

I do play with her several times a day; her favourite game is hunting for mouse/bird. She does not like to be pet (or touched) but will lie on my lap when I’m watching TV. In some ways, she seems to take pleasure in making me her prey. I take her out on a leash in the summer months and that seems to help. I can’t take her to the vet without giving her Gabapentin because she is so aggressive. Even though the vet will eventually have her way with her, I worry that this is making the problem worse. And it’s also difficult for me to examine her/brush her, never mind brushing her teeth.

Overall, she seems to be quite nervous and anxious but with a strong personality. She also reacts negatively to pheromones, which is unusual from what I’ve read. I also tried Zylkene in her food. For the time being, Bach flower remedies seem to help somewhat but I’d like to do more so that she can be calmer and more relaxed. I don’t really want to give her Prozac but I might have to consider it. (Suzanne)

Dr. Kris:

I’m always impressed when I meet people like you, Suzanne. Despite the bite wounds, your cat can still be found at the end of a leash as she’s out in the summer with you. And even if things aren’t ideal, you still want to make her happy.

That is pretty special.

Since she’s been to the vet a few times, I’ll assume that medically she’s fine, with no physical issue or illness that is driving her behaviour.

You will get a lot of opinions about what to do here, and not everyone is going to understand what it’s like to have a cat like your girl. That there isn’t just a quick fix. So, how do you filter through all the information and opinions, and figure out the plan of action that she is requesting?

Here are my top three things to try:

1) Reduce trial and error, and talk to an behavior expert.

Sometimes you only have so long to change these behavioral problems. Often because the owner of the cat is at their limits by the time they come see me in the clinic.

So I want to minimize the trial and error.

We want lots of signals, and as little noise as possible.

So I like to involve people like Mikel Delgado. Mikel is a feline behavior expert that I am thrilled to be working with. Someone like Mikel gets it. She knows that your cat is an individual, and your situation is unique, so the answers you need must be customized to you.

She’s seen a million furry faces, and she’s rocked them all (I don’t know if she’ll like the Bon Jovi reference, though – ha).

I showed her your question, and Mikel says:

“Suzanne, it sounds like you are doing a great job at providing your kitty with interactive playtime. I can think of a few other things that might help with the aggressive behaviors.

First of all, clicker training can be a great way to get cats used to basic husbandry procedures. The way I see it, is if animal handlers at the zoo can train lions to open their mouths for an oral exam, we should be able to train our cats to as well. There are some great resources out there on training cats, including Sarah Ellis and John Bradshaw’s excellent book The Trainable Cat, and Karen Pryor’s website, clickertraining.com.

Your kitty is still pretty young and very active, so anything you can do to give her additional enrichment would be great. This might mean food puzzles, a bird feeder to watch, plenty of vertical space, and some of the “automatic” toys – I really like the Hexbug Nano Cat Toy.

Finally, I wonder if she might do better with a veterinarian who does house calls?”

I like how Mikel compares our guys to training lions. It’s the same thing when we’ve got to train them to take medication – once you find out how, it is very possible!

Next step:

2) Address the elephant sitting on her chest. If you and your vet think she’s anxious, treat the anxiety. People with anxiety can feel like this: http://ift.tt/2nyOvQE

So we never let treatment with medication be the last resort. You’ve got to get the elephant off her chest so her world view can change. Literally.

3) It will take at least several tries with everything to get it right. So keep on trying.

So you know those summer walks you two go on? Would love to see a picture of your Siamese out enjoying herself in the grass. Let us know how things go!

Cat with resorptive dental disease

Hello. My 14 yr. old female Siamese mix cat had dental work done last year and it was discovered that she had resorption of some dental roots. I was hoping you could shed some light on this subject. The vet didn’t have much info to offer. My cat has had asthma for several years and I successfully treat it with Fluticasone Proprionate twice a day. I was wondering if the steroid contributes to this problem, is this hereditary, an anomaly, what? She is at the vet now for dental cleaning as she has gingivitis and I am waiting to hear that the resorption is a repeat culprit. Thanks. (Darlene Bloomer)

Ingrid:

Darlene, I’m sure Dr. Kris will answer this, but I wanted to give you this information, because your comment that your vet didn’t have much info to offer really disturbed me. Here’s more information on tooth resorption: http://ift.tt/1OOVT1D

If you’ve been following our blog, you’ve probably seen my recent posts about going through this with my Ruby. If not, here’s the link to our experience with this disease: http://ift.tt/2m0QVds

Dr. Kris:

Hi Darlene!

I really like the advice in the two links that Ingrid has provided.

So, we all know that people can get cavities. Tartar and gingivitis. Or abscesses.

All the usual stuff.

The usual stuff for cats is different.

Tooth resorption is different.

You have a good question. Why does my cat have this.

The answer is a crappy one.

It’s Stuff we don’t know + Likely a variety of causes = Inflammation infiltration.

I’m sure at some point or another, viruses, food and genetics have all been implicated. Never heard or seen fluticasone as being a cause.

It will make your head spin.

And also your cat’s, because at the end of the day, it’s your cat sitting there with a painful mouth. It can be mild, or really awful pain that they experience.

Your vet might not have much to say about the cause, but should have plenty to say about the treatment.

You know how people go twice a year to the dentist?

I wish I could treat my cats the same way. Of course it’s more complicated that that.

Vigilant monitoring, and then treat them based on what the dental X-rays look like and how our cat’s are responding.

Good luck!

Cat wanders and yowls at night, cats won’t accept foster cat

Hello! My 1.5 year old tabby, tortie mix of some sort, wanders around at night and yowls! Every night, it sounds like she is lost. If I go downstairs and grab her and snuggle her and bring her to bed, she jumps off and goes right back at it. What is she doing? Is she sick? Wondering if I should make a trip to the vet or not.

I also have one more question! I am currently fostering a kitty that I would really love to adopt, but my girl and boy cat WILL NOT accept him. It has been three weeks of slow integration, and they still hiss and growl and swat. I purchased the Feliway products, original and Multicat, and have placed three around the house but to no avail. What else can I do? Am I doomed to never get another cat? Thank you! (Stephanie)

Dr. Kris:

I’m gonna start with your second question.

Getting another cat is sometimes like getting a new roommate. Sometimes they move in, and you discover even more reasons that you really can’t get along with this person. Maybe there isn’t any one thing you can point to, but at the end of the day, you just tolerate them. You’re never going to be best of friends. Sometimes it’s one specific problem. Like their tolerance of unwashed dishes doesn’t match up with yours. Sometimes though, it’s not them. It’s their boyfriend who is always over. He uses all the hot water in the shower and that sucks. I’ve been that boyfriend.

Your home, preferences, previous experiences with strangers, tolerances and baggage all play a role in how well you do with the people you live with.

With cats it’s the same thing. Yes, you hear about people quickly introducing a new kitty to the house, with no problems. Best buddies. Pictures of them snuggling on Facebook. I’ve had roommates I’ve gotten along with great from the get go.

But you never see the Facebook posts when it doesn’t work out, and one of those kitties has to go. Like one of the houses I stayed at when I lived in Vancouver Island…I lasted 3 weeks and then I had to find somewhere new.

I asked Mikel, my behavioral expert at felineminds.com to comment. Here is what she said:

“Regarding the cat introduction, well, cat introductions are complicated, and in some cases can take months. The best thing you can do is prevent fights, and keep them separated while starting a slow, controlled introduction – usually by using a baby gate or screen door to allow the cats to see each other but not touch, which pairing the exposure with something positive like treats or playtime on either side of that barrier. Over time, you can increase their exposure, but if they are hissing and swatting, you are rushing the process. Unfortunately, we have to introduce cats on their schedule, not ours.

Some cats cannot be integrated into the home, and some situations will require more time and management. But many cats can be integrated, it just takes a lot more than Feliway. With difficult introductions, I always recommend hiring a qualified behavior consultant sooner rather than later!”

It’s very possible that you can have another cat live with your group.

Gonna need to give it some time.

And if there is baggage, some effort.

And if they hiss and swat, it’s too early.

P.S. Mikel also said this: “Stephanie, it sounds like your kitty is a little too awake at night. Some cats do “get lost” at night and howl, but that is more common in older cats who are experiencing some sort of sensory decline. Assuming that your cat is healthy, you should try to get her more on your sleep schedule. A lengthy play session in the early evening, followed by a meal shortly before your bedtime will help her sleep more through the night. You also have to ignore her howling – when you get up and bring her back to bed, you are inadvertently rewarding her with attention, which means the howling will continue night after night!”

20-year-old cat lost a lot of weight in one month

My 20 yr old female indoor cat has lost a lot of weight in one month. I’m feeding her small meals throughout the day. I’m retired & have limited funds. I’ve started giving her cat vitamins from a tube daily. What could be the problem? (P. Vilas)

It’s ok if you don’t have a lot of money to figure out what is going on with your cat.

The vet’s in Cuba do this all the time. They do the GGE. Good history + Good physical exam + Experienced vet = a lot of things that can be done at lower cost.

Let’s assume you had 60 to 80 dollars to spend.

This will get you a physical exam in most places.

Most of the time, if I’m able to have a really thorough conversation with a person (called the medical history), and combine that with a really good physical exam, I should have a reasonable short list of what the problem could be, and what can be tried to help.

Look at this PDF I found: http://ift.tt/2orFehp Look under the physical exam process. See all that? That is massive amounts of information that a proper history and exam can give you. MASSIVE.

I can figure all that stuff out in 5 minutes or less. An experienced vet will have a flow. Hands on is a must. All of those factors flowing through the brain as my hands, eyes, stethoscope go over their body. I’m comparing your cat to thousands of other cats as I do this, and my brain is like a radar looking for anything that doesn’t fit.

So, start there.

Be present and make sure it’s a thorough exam. Remember, an experienced vet can check those pages of info off in their head quickly. So it’s not speed you are looking for really, it’s can they answer as many questions as you can pepper them with, based on the physical exam.

Rapid weight loss is your cat’s inability to hide some type of illness.

In a 20-year-old cat, it’s often more than one thing that contributes to the weight loss.

I could give you a list, but you know what’s better?

Invest in a quality physical exam. Wring it out to the last drop. Pepper your vet with questions!

A good vet won’t hold it against you that you have financial concerns.

A good vet will respect people who do what they can with what they have.

And then, even if you can’t do diagnostic tests that help narrow that list down, ask if there are any treatments that can be tried based on the history and physical exam.

There always are.

Without testing (bloodwork / xrays etc), prepare for a bit of guessing. Guessing is ok if you and your vet feel safe working with each other. This means that I don’t blame you for not having all the money in the world so I have to guess more, and you don’t blame me if I guess wrong.

Your cat will benefit from teamwork that comes from this type of shared responsibility.

Good luck!

Do you have a question for Dr. Kris? Leave it in a comment!

The post Ask the Vet With Dr. Kris: Dr. Kris Answers March’s Questions appeared first on The Conscious Cat.

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