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kendrixtermina · 1 year

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Serious Onions

I hadn’t put these on tumblr & it occurred to me that I probably should

o, my recent onion layers post has been met with unexpected great popularity - several ppl noted that they thought that, though it was obviously rather humoristic in style, it seemed to contain some on-point insights (it has been said that the best jokes contain a grain of truth), so, a few users asked if I might explain the thinking behind it.

General Remarks

As I previously detailed in a response, it didn't come from any particular source, but from an amalgamation of what id read in all the sources as well as all the personal accounts I'd read, what stuck out as noteworthy or what gets remarked upon as underappreciated/ misunderstood qualities by people of said types - and trying to think about which qualities are more 'fundamental' and which are reactions layered on top as defenses. The whole intrapsychic dynamics thing is a big part of what I find interesting to consider about typology, & independent of that I'd always been intrigued by the idea of "hidden depths" or less than obvious fundamental characteristics.

I was looking also at the process of getting to know a person, what more or less apparent characteristics are - the choice of 3 layers is relatively arbitrary - Loosely inspired by the saying that "Everyone has 3 faces, the public face, the close-up view of the inner circle & the inner stuff that maybe nobody sees", though I did not per se intend a 1:1 correspondence. ...that saying was probably thought up by a social having attachment core.

But more generally, without being too prescriptive, we can think of Layer 1 as what is the most obvious & apparent at first glance, Layer 2 as what comes forth when you get to know the person on an interactive-every-day kind of level or what is under the surface, and of Layer 3 as the basic disposition that all else build upon, the innermost self or some underlying truth – which for some ppl might be quite buried under a whole lot of defenses, for others is known only to themselves & for others yet might very much come forth in situations conducive to being open & shine through here & there.

For example, a 6 can look like a sour complainer or a hot mess, but when you look deeper, you might find that they're actually quite solid, dependable & competent, which you may overlook/ never get to know if you dismiss them based on the complainy exterior. But while some may seem 'obedient/dutyful', if you look further in (to the natural disposition that the individual themselves may have buried under sediments of defenses), what you actually find is this doubt/questioning. Furthermore, that's actually the core from which everything else logically follows.

though obviously here it's been given a blunt/humoristic slant with positive and negative moods/manifestations of the layers alternated for comedic effect - The inner core of the assertive types could show up as both pure and puerile for all three of them (in their own way), not like 3s its always pure and in 7s always childish, but there's some particularly that comes from their having the heart 'out of the loop'. I guess the 8 one sort of explicitly pointed as the "pure does not mean pure good" aspect of it.

Also, often the stereotype of the type is just based on the surface behavior but real people are 3D with depht and complicated inner mechanisms – in the end everyone’s an individual defined by more than just their types, but the deeper parts of a person also show some type-specific characteristics.

I'm breaking this into sections so it's not confusing to those with less patient attention spans.

Type 1

Layer 1: polish & politeness

Sort of the most obvious thing – they look put-together, nothing looks out of place about the outfit, no spelling errors, everything in its place.

Hence the common idea of them as neat freaks or perfectionists, not that either is always true – but ppl that have gone to panels have observed how if you see a bunch of them as a group, there can be ‚sparkly‘, ‚bright‘ or ‚brilliant‘ quality – especially contrasted with, say, the rigid/assertive 6s that can sometimes be confused with them, but present as more approachable.

This extends also to their behavior, as in being measured, having good manners etc. As competency cores they’d have a focus on ‚correct procedure‘ or ‚appropriate‘ responses, here in the realm of the concrete, of action and one’s spatial surroundings so that the results are rather visible.

A lot of the typical thinking activity is this quick binary sorting or evaluating – is this right or wrong, correct or incorrect, how does it compare? Is this the right amount of reaction? Does this match my inner image of how it should look? Not always solely moralistic but rather a kind of idealism applied to the concrete realm -

& that reflects on how they look, basically.

1w9s in particular may present a little stiff, awkward, overly formal or low on expressiveness, whereas the w2s can come across quite impassioned and zealous, a touch warmer and very well equipped to whip a crowd into a frenzy with fiery speeches or sermons full of rightheous indignation.

Layer 2: angery (meme spelling deliberate)

The well known catch is of course that there can be a lot of frustration underneath that.

There’s some individuals (especially if they’ve had a not so good childhood) where the anger can get quite diffuse & they’re not very aware of it;

Others very much realize that they’re motivated by a sense of frustration for what could be better that they’re trying to channel towards constructive ends.

How much that bleeds through depends on the individual, their level of self-awareness, how stressed they are & what situation they’re in, though they may underestimate how much of a critical, judgy or autocratic vibe there can be – a lot of em very much don’t want to come off that way.

With others, only their spouse or bestie might witness outright ranting or yelling.

There can be some contrast between the typically polite & measured surface presentation & the person blowing their top and then there’s of course all those often recited double life stories etc.

Those are of course the dramatic cases that make for dramatic anecdotes.

But on average you’re more likely to see rather measured responses - some don’t go beyond the odd nagging comment and hardly ever raise their voices (and might be uncomfortable with big displays from others, especially those of the w9 persuasion)

A lot of the time it’s nothing so dramatic, there’s just a bunch of only half-aknowledged pent-up frustration contributing the high blood pressure & tension headaches and the like.

Layer 3: sad idealist

Under the anger, tho, there’s sadness. On the macro scale, a grief over living in a fallen world full of injustice.

On the micro scale, a sadness about all that you’re denying yourself and how no one seems to be seeing your efforts.

As far as qualities that the 1s themselves tend to see as not getting appreciated enough, the EA studie named introspective qualities – that does track with my personal experience that a lot of Serious Philosophic Thoughts about the world can be found here, the world’s story state and uneccesary it could be if only everyone would care to fix it.

It’s worth noting that as the impulse types have sort of the least filtered perception, they take in all that’s happening on a direct, visceral level, so the revulsion or sadness at everything that’s ‚wrong‘ can be felt very strongly – emphatically state his some shameless behavior was ‚disgusting‘ or nearly losing his dinner over a crime scene photo -

And there’s also a real, sort of pure endearing sincerity of wanting to get it „right“, a real need to be doing one’s best, like that’s barely enough somehow.

Type 2

Layer 1: sugar spice & everything nice

The surface presentation is above all geared to be likeable and invite bonding – helpfulness is one aspect of that especially with sp-havers but it can get overemphasized. Other components depending on stacking may be approachability, charm, seductiveness, passion, flattery, schmoozing, even pointing out one’s special qualities, stressing exclusive qualities of the relationship or sympathy fishing for ‚legitimate‘ reasons like health problems or becrying the sorrow of a loved one etc.

as well as making sure to appear friendly, approachable, attractive, respectable etc.

Either way they feel they must actively make a good impression happen so they will actively offer to do stuff or even just go and do it spontaneously.

Recently I had a good chance to observe this in practice ’cause grandma is visiting and like, physically could not be stopped from cleaning mom’s house. If there is one dish in the sink she appears as if summoned by a magic circle even though she’s supposed to be the guest here. She’s also gone to pass on helpful reminders, made suggestions for how we should help mom & told all sorts of mildly melodramatic stories. I can understand that mom’s at times a bit annoyed with the nagging & the overreach, but, being perhaps able to look at this with more distance & less messy backstory, I’m making sure to say ‚Thank You‘ & give her hugs & stuff cause in the end she’s just a lonely old lady & wants to feel useful. I think I previously used to chalk it up to how she used to have an important job position & must be missing the special treatment & ability to contribute from that.

Layer 2: mother knows best

What distinguishes 2 from say, 9, is that its a far more proactive and somewhat ‚tough‘, it’s more hidden than with 5 or 8 but there’s still that, ‚I can handle it‘ thing. 2s are actually one of the types that can be pretty good in a crisis. (like 8, 1 or 6)

The whole ‚silk hiding steel‘ cliche might be invoked.

2 (like 1) tends to have the thinking functionality a bit out of the loop which has its downsides, like putting feelings over fact or acting without thinking, but that also means being low on doubt (not per se the relationship preoccupation kind of anxiety, they can have plenty of that, this is probably their big achilles heel) – one can act quickly & with certainty which, again, is great in crisis or extreme situations – hence why you often see 2s as charity workers, doulas, doctors-without-borders, hospice workers, homemakers etc. heavy responsibility emotionally taxing jobs that would emotionally crush others.

One might draw some parallel to 8 in that there is an aspect in getting a kick out of what would daunt others, but here not in the sense of risk, but rather obligation & responsibility and having other’s depend on you, having that sort of personal-relational power.

Of course this also has its downsides, as suggested by the funny monicker here there can be a tendency to hide behind the pleasant surface layer & not own one’s ambition, strenght or forcefulness. Or indeed the person may not know their own strenght or have low self-awareness of their own motives believing themselves to basically be the pleasant surface. (as 2 is somewhat blocked in the introspective function symbolized by the growth line to 4)

Though some know they’re tenacious & are proud of that – be it in a deserved or self-excusing way.

Also, even tough ppl have limits (another parallel to 8) – so one might either overextend themselves or snap and have some dramatic outburst because they feel overtaxed and unappreciated.

Layer 3: desperate hunger for love

What makes it a trap or a hell or a double bind is that on the one hand you rly strongly want to connect & have relationships, love & be loved etc. but on the other there’s a big implicit taboo of like outright showing that in some ways – cause that’s the avoidance, you can’t appear needy, that’s not gonna be considered very loveable or popular, or so your superego tells you.

& certainly our current capitalistic, competitive, every-man-for-himself culture that treats feelings as a gotcha doesn’t help, often when you hear discourse about relationships you could get the idea that there’s some unspoken assumption that whoever cares more somehow loses. Lots of dismissive talk about „silly lovesick girls“ and „needy bitches“, though, its not like more emotional men or dudes who are distressed about relationship misfortune don’t get viciously mocked.

That’s sort of the trap or tragedy that ppl get „tricky“ in response to rejection or fear of reection but then the trickyness brings about the rejection. But I imagine that there’s a special grief in realizing that few ppl want the same degree of interaction as you do & that some degree of holding back & censoring is needed for taking part in polite society. That can put you in a tricky position that can be a fertile ground for guilt feelings (much like realizing that you’re way less interested than most others can)

It’s worth remembering that ultimately these ppl just want to love & be loved (& some of ppl’s apprehension can be related to their own unease toward that concept or their own knotty relationships with want or need) – which isn’t to say that anyone should be put up with extremely unpleasant specimens, but even in those cases its kind of a tragedy when you look at it from a wider perspective. So, uh, maybe send your quarrelsome grandmas the occasional heart emoji or mother’s day text I guess.

Type 3

Layer 1: flashy facade

You know the drill: If they were in a book there would be a little „TM“ somewhere, and if they were in an animated medium, their teeth would sparkle when they grin. This is the part that’d described to death in all the descriptions out there so you can probably picture what is meant.

Glossy, flashy, bright and dazzling, megawatt smile, optimistic Can Do attitude, , versatility, constant improvement, efortlessness, „star“ presentation…

Though it must be appreciated that the degree also values by the individual, 378 is oing to be much flashier than, say, 359. Some what to be respected & known more for their „output“

Layer 2: efficient robot

Cordon describes this kind of interestingly – ovsly being a 6 and also a therapist he’d have observe ppl closely, and he described how you might be talking with a smiley, expressive person but also get the sense that somewhere behind that there’s someone else, carefully watching.

He describes that 3s often have an affinity to or identify themselves with high performance machines, and indeed that’s something you can confirm by looking at the works of some prominent musicians for example.

There’s that layer of ‚calculation‘ or ‚instrumentalism‘ – a split between the ‚social‘ and ‚impulse based‘ emotions in which the latter get tuned out to not interfere with the performance of the former. The attachment typical split-attention plays out by having the vigilant perception of ppl’s reactions and fine-tuned performing of social emotions existing in parallel with the planful action coming from the planning mind & the impulses.

Which unintentionally sounds like im describing a supervillain, but it can actually be an amazing & unique ability to handle social situations through a problem-solving lens, which can allow one to be efficient and masterful, and, in more, enlightened individuals constructive & persuasive in a way you couldn’t pull off if you let your own reactions feature into it unfiltered.

An example is how the protagonist of Kare Kano (probably 3w4) responds when she gets snubbed by her classmates. I could imagine stewing in your hurt and trying to find some meaning in it (which is what I would have done), I could imagine how someone might grovel or people-please in order to be liked, but the third approach that the protag actually uses would never have occurred to me:

It’s not that she wasn’t hurt by the experience or feeling insecure about it, but instead of dwelling on how she’s hurt or having a grudge against the classmates, she problem solves: She finds herself new friends who help her identify & publicly call out the ringleader behind the snubbing, and therefore skillfully maneuvers the class into siding with her. She even extends an olive branch to the former ringleader.

I am also a competency type so I might apply methodology to many areas of life where most ppl wouldn’t, but I would never thought of approaching this sort of social situation through such a lens, I thought that was pretty impressive of Miss Yukino.

Though, on the other side of that, there can be the temptation for some 3s to put off dealing with the fee fees for so long they just never get around to it, doing nothing but work work work , disregarding their human limitations etc.

Layer 3: golden retriever

In some ppl it’s very buried under a lifetime’s worth of need-nobody-tough-guy-act, thick calluses and/or believing one’s own hype, but somewhere at the beginning before it all went sideways they started out as some little kiddo with a pure & sincere desire to win love, approval and headpats, to hear ppl say that they’re proud of them, that they’re seen & valued, that they did good - which you might recognize as ultimately 100% purely feelings-based motivations.

Of course at some point the individual might have decided to settle for glory & hype because real love & approval weren’t forthcoming, or because of the vulnerability entailed in looking for the real deal. People can just not give you the approval, or they can laugh at you & call you names instead - & the disaproval stings if you easily attach to other’s perceptions of you.

So there’s like, just hype where it doesn’t matter where it comes from divorced from properly bonded relationships, and there’s nifty status symbols you can slap your hand on. You’ll show them. They’ll see when you’re swiming in money and having what all the ppl on TV have... and probably just, numb out whatever bits clamor for like proper connection until it no longer feels safe to drop the mask. Like this is a counterdependent mechanism. Like the rebel 6s or those more loner-y 9s.

Judging by the stereotypes you’d think the tough badass ellbow feelings-are-for-losers presentation is the default. Or well, it’s not like trying to be tough is always dysfunctional or overcompensation, the world is a tough cutthroaty place. Nothing wrong with being a badass as long as you’re not like exceedingly ruthless toward others.

But this doesn’t prepare you for pulling up some youtube video or podcast and you get these like really sincere expressive ppl that are obviously all heart & capable of a very ‚pure‘ sort of mirroring or connecting. And yes they’re all organized, yes they care about being popular, they like attention & clearly have, like, the charming, polishing and crowd-working skills of someone who’s like a moderator, but they also basically just want you to like you & think they’re cool no knots or trickery or underhanded hidden agendas.

That’s also why no one ever types Naruto right though he constantly proclaims that his goal is to embody the cultural ideal of his hometown so people will approve of him. that, and he’s sp blind. And a feeler. F types can often be the less ‚onion layered‘ version of a given type, presumably cause being poked in the lower functions hurts prompting the development of more guards. Though you can get some pretty guarded feelers if you subject them to enough bad parenting…

Though overall most 3s are probably still generally the quintessential „peach“ type person (defined in opposition to a „coconut“ where there is a hard shell/initial hurdle to get to the juicy center) – fairly easy to build a rapport with & become surface level friends with, but then there’s that inner core that takes a special level of trust to get to.

Type 4

Layer 1: distinguished sophistication

On average, the surface presentation tends to be distinguished, sophisticated, deliberate and cultivated – as this is a withdrawn type they won’t always necessarily loudly declare themselves & might well often feel that it’s not worth bothering cause ppl might not get it anyway (especially the w5 specimens), but if they do speak/ get involved, they will make their positions, likes & dislikes fairly clear. This can sometimes frustrate or confuse attachment types whose MO is to first find some common ground & then buil on that / see how good the fit is, & can take the pointing out of differences as a rejection or judgement.

Generally withdrawn types don’t expect others to agree with them (indeed if too many ppl agreed the 4 might be some degree of embarassed) but it’s just like – I say my opinion, you say yours, if they differ then they just do.

Granted, seeing as tastes & likes & feelings are Serious Business(TM) they may well lambast ppl who listen to the wrong kind of music (because of the culture & associations that that music is seen as a symbol for) – This is seen as having „strong values“ & if as a result you can’t get along with everyone, that’s just how it is. (though they may of course have too high standards, jump to conclusions on those associations or lament that they can’t find anyone who „gets it“) – but more mature ones are more willing to live & let live.

Even so, this is a marked difference to some of the types that are, at least on paper, easily confused, such as 9, 2 or 6 – those are all types that have some compulsion to appear approachable, personable and/or avoid antagonizing others.

Like 8s for example they’re not one of the types that are automatically nice but don’t want to appear easily impressed (if their approval were too easily given it wouldn’t mean much) – though to ppl with reactive components this may read as a pleasant lack of fake niceness.

Lately it’s been en vogue to describe 4s as ‚elitist‘ to like make them sound unappealing to common idealization-based mistypes but that’s not really neutrality either – can some 4s be superior snobs?

Yes. But not everyone. What they definitely are is specific, like idealizing a very particular kind of music or aesthetic , sometimes to the point of painting themselves into a corner. But „I like this particular thing & everything else isn’t my cup of tea“ doesn’t have to mean putting down others you can just differentiate yourself naturally.

And there is value in making very specific or particular or self-indulgent stuff that otherwise wouldn’t be created for fear that it wouldn’t have broad appeal - since they’re just, doing it for themselves with themselves as the intened audience.

The principle to understand here is like basically – „If no one will see me, I’ll see myself“, imbuing one’s actions with symbolic meaning to create a sense of significance.

It’s also worth noting that 4 is like, intellectual center secondary & wedged in between two competency wings so, some individuals can be fairly proud of their intellect & even brag of it in ways that 2, 9 or 6 probably wouldn’t. Which can be overdone to a point of obnoxiousness especially if there’s some defensive arrogance going on, but also lead to a sense of refined craftsmanship especially if the line to 1 is somewhat active.

In the same vein, individuals can also have a thing about self-improvement and self-betterment or take a ‚shamanic guide‘ kind of role.

Though immature individuals can also not think very much at all & resist all advice or improvement suggestions due to seeing their problems as unsolveable and any fixing attempt as unauthentic.

Layer 2: pure spite

So you meet your fave artist that had this consummate specific aesthetic, and turns out everyone who knew them up-close describes them as drama-prone, vicious, negative, liable to making incendiary statements, self-absorbed and just guaranteed to make the purity police get its panties in a twist.

What’s going on here?

On the most basic level, there is simply a lack of negativity filter, which doesn’t just concern relatively ‚pretty‘ negativity like sadness, but also making a big deal of personal poblems or expressing srong dislike, disdain, disgust, loathing or hate.

Hate is often seen as something that should always be got rid off, but, though there are constructive and non constructive outlets like for all emotions, it is not the only emotion that’s somehow all bad and doesn’t have a function. Some things arguably should be abhorred. Grudges keep you from burning yourself on the same hot stove twice.

Disgust is, at its most basic, the drive to avoid the contamination of the individual: „That’s NOT me. That’s disgusting. I don’t want to be like that“ – disgust can motivate you to be moral, or at least to hold on to what’s important spite can make you persevere when nothing else will sustain you.

Hence why a 4 component is often correlated with vindictiveness or revenge fantasies.

Obviously it can be overdone as like reckless dumb spats or personal vendettas that only lead to more scorched earth, but like, the functionality is there for a reason.

Nonetheless, core 4s can be very salty ppl, especially if they feel permanently wronged/slighted/ shortchanged or spend too much time simmering over how much easier others have it without then moving to the next step of action or acting in impulsive rather than constructive ways.

Layer 3: grief & longing

Most ppl eventually just accept that the world isn’t fair and that what is lost is lost – we might tough it out, suck it up, positively reframe it, tell ourselves it doesn’t matter etc. Sometimes that might be what you have to do to survive; Though sometimes there can also be a tad of self-betrayal there.

Either way, we forget the lost paradise – and the 4s kinda don’t. Whatever hurt they went through, they want to honor it and give it its proper space. It’s not necessarily that 4s per se suffer more or less than other ppl, it’s that their relationship to it is different-

And like, let’s acknowledge that there is a truth and a wisdom in this, or at least a fragment of the whole picture: Bad stuff is BAD. What hurts HURTS. What’s gone is GONE and never coming back.

You might say that it’s pointless to be hung up on that and that it cannot be changed anyways and, like, that’s the other types having their own slice of reality & fragment of the truth, but, what’s also true is… it was still bad. It still hurts. It still mattered.

You know how it is sometimes said that grief is the pendulum swing of love, or love with nowhere left to go? It’s the evidence that the love was there. That what was lost was worth something.

And there’s like, a sincerity and idealism in that, a very genuine thing (for all that it can, like all things, be overemphasized), despite the outer layers of drama and pretesion.

Some descriptions focus only on like, the sadness without the context or structure or particularity (after all everyone can be sad & for some its a longer journey to realize their sadness matters) whereas others paint only the uglyness and drama without connecting it to where it really comes from and neither of those is a complete picture.

Type 5

Layer 1: [*televison static*]

Which is, uh, obviously a sort of humorous play on the way that these are often considered as being somewhat hard to read, low on expressiveness, unforthcoming in disclosure, clumsy in social niceties etc.

Sometimes it is very much intentional to restrict an interaction to ‚strictly business‘ of course – can’t be friends with all the billions on the planet especially if you’re super duper introverted and also busy with stuff.

But i also think Cordon was onto something with there being a quick tendency towards freeze responses (in the same way that 6s tend toward vigilance & confronting the problem, and 7s towards running away/avoiding it) and if you couple that with the whole tendency to see „the outer world“ as the place that is potentially suspect, well…

In a sense its basically just means having an especially pronounced version of the whole „introvert needs a while to ‚thaw up‘ and get comfortable“ phenomenon.

There’s also the strong content focus, which can come off impersonal to some – or straight up rude or callous if the individual fails to consider how things might be taken on other possible communication channels (like a personal-relational lens or lizardbrainy power dynamics) – not considering these can also cause one to come off less convincing, as in aimless rambling or having little sense of presence.

It’s not always about hiding or diversion, telling you about some stuff that they personally find interesting talking more than strictly necessary.

I’m not saying you have to put up with annoying aimless rambling monologues, but you might want to be like, „No thank you“ rather than „Shut up you showoff/weirdo/nerd, no one wants to hear this“

There can be uncertainty as to how to interact at all when there isn’t a clearly defined activity or topic.

But you do read accounts where the individual in question ostensibly took responsibility & made sure to explicitly clarify their intentions and feelings verbally, but that still got taken as ‚mixed signals‘, when the person described just seems to be… the normal amount of nervous for a young person on a date, for example. You can only do so much about what kind of automatic fear response you have.

As these are usually private & reclusive, the number of those who get to look beyond the first layer is usually fairly small; Only their lover, bestie or immediate family members maybe. For some the number might be outright zero, unless they’re some sort of artist or wrote their inner thoughts & feelings down in some kind of journal. And even then there’s a higher than usual percentage of those whose materials were only published after their death.

And many very much prefer it this way, though you sometimes hear from the social doms that they are somewhat bothered by this, in that they want to be or subjectively feel connected (like all the other social doms, one supposes) but feel frustrated that they can’t, even if they’re quite capable of putting up an engaging, likeable front. You sometimes read the specific phrasing of the person wishing someone would see through it and move the conversation beyond the script.

Though, not having social, I can’t personally relate to that at all and the prospect of people assuming that I secretly want them to do anything seems threatening if anything. Though I share the perception that a lot of exchanges are really just ppl following scripts, but, for me that’s a reason to dispense with such ‚zero content‘ exchanges completely.

Layer 2: obsessive doomer

What you usually see reported when ppl get to know one of these up close is „Wow this person is super negative“ and „wow this person is a lot more blunt/direct than I thought they would be, weren’t they, like, shy?“ (Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts are shy.)

Besides getting them to move in with you, you might also seesomeone act a great deal less filtered in an anonymous setting or something like a short vacation where they have the option of never seeing anyone involved ever again.

I also recall this post of someone who couldn’t quite make sense of that one reticent sort of unreadable friend cause he’d only joi in their antics so often, wasn’t super expressive etc. though he had outright told them that their friend group is very important to him, „unless he’s drunk and then he’s suddenly very open about everything“ and I thought to myself, ‚Ah. That‘s probably the closest they get to seeing what he’s like on his own’.

If you look at a list of famous artists, writers or musicians or whatever their material doesn’t tend to be known for being like blank prosaic & precise or whatever but for being dark and intense and sometimes a bit provocative, or at least kinda philosophic.

Though, if you look at some of the earlier literature, like Naranjo, Palmer, Maitri and so on the defining characeristics rather seem to be „kind of ineffectual“ and „throws the towel rather easily & keeps coming up with reasons why its pointless to do anything“

So, what do these ppl do all the time by themselves?

One poster here wrote something like„5s aren’t necessarily all smart, we’re really just obsessive“, and I think they pretty much hit the nail on the head.

I mean, some were probably smart – Charles Darwin maybe? If there was only a single smart one it was probably Paul Dirac. But your friendly neighborhood specimen is probably not that, any more than every 9 is Einstein or that any 7 is Feynman....

You could get a pretty solid understanding of stuff too if you were reading about it or practicing it all the time, and probably thinking about it when you aren’t – instead of say, socializing or doing useful practical tasks.

And there’s absolutely no guarantee at all that you’ll get obsessed with something that makes money or that others think is impressive.

Though, if there’s one good trait or upside to all this mess it’s probably the way that you can just keep at it wether anyone cares or not, theres no getting discouraged from lack of praise or response, if anything one works best if nobody knows about it until the thing is nearing completion.

It is kind of an interesting paradoxon that you have this relentless focus on the one hand and this struggle or resistance to do what actually needs to be done on the other.

I can appreciate its interestingness, even if its the bane of my personal existence…

Layer 3: touchy bundle of nerves

Like most iterations of the ‚gooey center‘ trope this can get quite buried in some individuals especially if their parents messed up – You even do get some unpleasant individuals with poor self-awareness who then maintain that everyone else must be clingy, irrational and overdramatic because they don’t realize that they’re the sensitive ones. The Protagonist of the classical German novel ‚Homo Faber‘ is a prime example. A nasty stuckup sexist piece of work, but a strangely relatable one in some ways, to the point where I wonder about Max Frisch himself, though, cannot have shared his protagonists’ disdain for all things poetic seeing as he was a famous author & playwright.

Others may simply have misplaced the box with the feelings sometimes in the 70s and have no idea where they put it.

But lots of ppl are well aware of what’s going on inwardly, level of outward expressiveness onwithstanding, there’s a reason 4 is a common mistype. The anecdotal example people in the enneagram literature have to be commended for their „fun“ metaphors. I wonder sometimes whatever became of the „its like running through a field of cacti with no skin“ guy. That book was old, so he might no longer be with us.

In the end the behavior may not differ than much either way because, you know how some computer applications show you annoying alerts so often that eventually you just completely ignore them?

In a sense the defense mechanisms do serve you well, if you compare to some non-5 high sensitivity ppl. There are some shared qualities like being easily tired by drama situations, being easily startled, low pain tolerance etc. but generally „cant take violent movies“, „easily swept up in & affected by other’s feelings“ are not problems I have.

(though of course, more over/ less „buffered“ sensitive types have their own kinds of strenghts that we don’t, & being Like This also produces its own secondary problems)

Type 6

It’s been brought to my attention that take here skewed a bit toward 6w5; For 6w7, a bit more chill but a bit less self-reliance, something like a cross between this and the 7 onion. Still I’ll try to keep it generally applicable as much as it can be given the complexities of these guys.

Layer 1: commander contrarian

The range of presentations is great here, depending greatly on the environment and such values as the individual has considered to be worthwhile guideposts, yet if one were to to distill them all down to some commonality, it would be some degree of ‚hot mess‘ or ‚relatable everyman‘ flavor -

if not to connect with others or get their help, then at least to stay under the radar and avoid putting a target on your back.

There is also a tendency to be the one who considers how it might all blow up, whether it is expressed more as worry than as scepticism.

They might be complaining about you not following the rules, or complaining about the rules themselves, but they’re probably the ones doing the complaining or going against the grain of the prevailing opinion – sometimes, particularly for 6w7, it can even mean taking the positive side when the prevailing opinions are negative.

They’re doing us all a solid with this, as it has been shown that the presence of even one dissenting opinion greatly lowers the strenght of groupthink effects, like ppl agreeing with a crowd of actors that the longer of two lines is actually the shorter.

Layer 2: dutiful soldier

When you look closer, though, you see that though they might be complainers, they’re not quitters.

6s may often overreport the level of mess in their lives, have difficulty internalizing past sucesses (since, theoretically, it could still go wrong this time) and frequently exist in a state of ‚AAAAA‘, this is ultimately a type that has the potential to be quite perseverant, hardworking, resillient, dedicated and, at their best, even heroic.

And being all this while also having that ‚humble‘ presentation on top can also make you likeable & engaging.

This can be taken too war of course in sticking or being loyal to a cause that’s not worth it though it’s worth noting that they’ll be loyal to ppl that they agree with and that seem worth it, & once soundly dissapointed they might swiftly swing around to the opposite.

Layer 3: trusts no one including self

Zoom in further, though, and you’ll see that at the bottom is this mode of perception where everything can change as easily as thinking of a different possibility – the search for certainty, for something worth supporting or believing in, & to be prepared & steadfast oneself is precisely spurned on by one’s propensity to doubt and second-guessing one’s actions, whether one pursues those doubts, looks for something to allay them, or perhaps both at the same time (such as aligning with ppl but also testing them)

Something in there is always like „but how do you know? Can you really be sure?“ Wether or not the person’s conscious of it it’s consistently fueling their actions even if those consist of stronger clinging to a supposed solution or more fierce resisting against those who tell them they’re wrong.

The opposite response of always taking any doubt seriously isn’t per se better than denyoning it though if it leads to being overly suspicious.

Of course some individuals may respond in a different way depending on each particular thing they’re doubtful about few always have the same response all the time.

On some level it’s a search for a deeper truth that, when one is in alignment with it, gives a solid foundation to ones’ decisions (which can look very different depending on the individual, it could be a personal truth or a way of understanding the world. )

Type 7

Layer 1: happy happy joy joy

There is the assumption that one must have a pleasant, positive demeanor, so this is what such a individual might tend to be remembered for, though the quality of that rememberance can vary – maybe ppl liked the irreverent sense of humor, or how they brought some light and joy into other people’s lives, or that they were cool & fun to hang around with… or they might be thought of as sort of silly and irresponsible. Lots of variables regarding both the 7 themself as well as the eye of the beholder.

The rainbow candy-coating serves as variety or purposes. First the mention might want to keep things light for their own peace of mind, also humor erodes hierarchies and fun cool interesting lighthearted & stimulating atmosphere attracts people to you & also helps you charm them so they let you get away with whatever you please.

But there’s also a darker side to it like assumptions that they can’t depend on anyone to take care of them, and that they’ll be ditched if they become boring, a bother or a drag and that others won’t want the if they don’t bring the entertainment (& always bringing it can lead your friend group to self-select for ppl who are only in it for the entertainment value.) & that they can’t show their sadness to others which is like… not so fun.

It doesn’t help that their default fear response is to „look for a way out“ often by thinking up a solution or trying to reframe or explain away the problem so that what gets taken as not taking the problem seriously might actually be a direct sign of distress.

Layer 2: bucketloads of raw intelligence & creativity

However, despite the above phenomena, its important to stress that its not clowns all the way down.

Sometimes it’s like they kinda won the jackpot when ppl were handing out the talents:

- clever

- creative

- dynamic/ action oriented / energetic

- resourceful

- not too bogged down by inhibitions or ppl’s opinions

- confident

- eloquent

- charismatic

Most people can only pick like 2 of these at once.

Were it not for their twin weaknesses of Sadness and Shiny Objects, 7s would’ve taken over the world. Its like the universe had to nerf them.

See mother nature, this is how you properly engineer a mental dominant hexad type. You gotta add in some Extroversion as a required secondary power to make it actually sustainable to be running the most resource-intense types of thinking processes 24/7.

Of course not every individual reaches the fullness of that potential, some bail when it gets difficult or get overconfident & fancy themselves instant experts and then they can get kinda dilettantish, shallow & mostly hot air etc.

But imho 7s are underrated & one of those types that there’s hardly any content about, for everyone that’s like an irresponsible absentee parent or a vapid attention whore there’s like another who’s like really cool, badass & generous, and then there’s the ones that are just stone cold brilliant.

Layer 3: sad manchild

Where there is light, however, there is shadow.

First, there’s the infamous Inner Jail(TM) or like the tendency to avoid sadness & worry until it suddenly catches up with you all at once cause you stopped moving for 5 minutes.

There’s a reason 7 musicians are either like „Wild eclectic creativity explosion!!“ or Miserable Wail Of Sadness, sometimes going from one to the other depending on how the artists’s life is going or that they’re sometimes these ppl who kill themselves of all sudden though everything seemed fine & dandy even to their inner circle.

The other side of this, which is maybe more frustrating to others & often quite the contrast to the person’s apparent brilliance, is like, the petulance & childishness & refusal to take responsibility cause they have to get what they want and they must think of themselves in a good light.

A point to understand is that there can be a real frantic urgency to it, like, contemplating the opposite can seem next to unbearable. Unlike their direct neighbors 6 and 8, they’re not really that tought. They avoid the bad stuff cause they actually struggle to handle it, though they may also be overestimate how bad its gonna be. Hence also the tendency sometimes to wallpaper over untennable situations that they very much have the skills & resources to get out of – they don’t get over the hill cause they must be okay.

Though while I stressed the negative side of this quality for the purposes of having a punchline, is worth noting that there is also a positive pendant to this, like having a genuine childlike wonder, curiosity and enthusiasm about the world that is retained well into later stages of life & a far lower probability toward comformism or boringness. If you see like a middle aged person that’s still wearing colorful clothes, is somewhat up to speed with popculture or tech and talks to younger ppl without expecting deferrence, thats often a 7.

Type 8

Layer 1: strategic tactician

So, not everyone is actually going to have this layer since its presence implies the realization at some point that purposeful strategic action and wisdom are more useful than just yelling & banging on the table – You can get the very same thing that you want with a lot less collateral damage.

The thinking facilities need to be at least partially ‚online‘

The ‚thickness‘ also varies correspondingly to the extent that planning, understanding & foresight is valued as its own „input channel“ vs just a way to make X happen. (though „doing stuff“ is and always will be the main focus)

Its presence is indicated by realizations like „sometimes staying calm/acting unfazed actually gets you more influence“, or knowing the value of diplomacy at least on a purely pragmatic level.

Strategy is informed by sharp instincts and impulses given a broader repertoire of „how“ -

The result is often quite formidable & masterful.

So, am I saying the young & dumb are one layer short? Well the choice of 3 layers was always an abstraction for the sake of analogy…

8 has as much depht & interestingness & juicy inner mechanics as any other type but, there was this one book or website I read that had like couples advice & the section for 6s considering to date an 8 said something like „don’t overthink it, they probably mean exactly what they said, they’re straightforward ceatures“

Which needs to be said, as 6 pretty much exists as a towering edifice of precariously balanced forces – but like, not overcomplicating here is meant like in the strict sense of „not adding complications that aren’t necessary“

Layer 2: animal with clothes on

Even the actual 8s themselves report a certain affinity with wild animals, in all the good, bad and simply neutral ways.

Some report that they kind of felt ‚grown‘ already at an early age since they always could think of what to do – there was this excellent essay post a while back about how having less filtering/ being more focussed on the concrete means you feel everything that happens very fully & so you have strong immediate reactions in response, & this creates a feedback loop where eventually your quick judgements/ immediate impressions get strong, developed & sophisticated.*

For 8 in particular these quick judgements rely on paying attention to your basic instincts and also kinesthetic/sensorimotor learning.

I’ve read some individuals describe it as basically being connected to the millions of years’ worth of accumulated information that went into making our instincts & sort of sensorimotor processing the way it is -

If nothing else evolution’s had a long time to optimize that lizard brain so if you want to make quick and cheap split-second decisions.

So you get ppl that can react fast & efficient in a crisis, which probably contributes to the tendency towards cognitive (not necessarily social) extroversion & stimulation seeking (thats what being an extrovert basically is – your base activity level is fairly low so need more external stimulation to get to a comfortable point. )

Of course to onlookers this can simply read as uncontrolled, intimidating or fierce.

* It strikes me that a reverse corollary of this probably explains why 4s and 5s often report the experiece that they „didn’t get the manual“ or that „everyone else already seemed to know how everything works“. Having a strongly filtered/interpreted mode of perception & not using the impulse center much, you don’t build up these automatic responses/snap judgements, so it seems that everyone else ‚already knew what to do‘.

So it can feel like you still don’t know how anything on this weird planet works well into advanced adulthood, as reverse of the 8s and 1s quicker self-reliance.

So after a quarter century, the mystery has finally been solved: The other kids at the nursery didn’t actually know what they were doing any more than I did, of course not, how could they have? We were all babies. They didn’t need to know „how“ cause they were going on friggin autocomplete, which I simply had no talent at.

It’s really bittersweet to have a reason 25 years too late.

Would fit right in with the lyrics of „isnt it ironic“.

I kinda wish I could go back and tell 3 year old me, but she probably wouldn’t have understood.

Do you hear this, Inner Toddler? I did it. I got the answer….

I wonder if there’s some equivalent in this in 1s and 2s as well as 7s and 8s.

Layer 3: pre-civilized grade schooler

Sometimes you hear that whole Big Teddy Bear cliche & that’s like, half the story, missing some nuances. Sometimes it describes the situation well enough but other times its inadequate.

Cause our culture likes to use children as images of perfect idealized innocence & harmless but actual kids are rather more a primal undivided state before the introduction of mental labels, containing both the potential for extremely genuine, unaffected compassion and careless malice of ripping the wings off an insect in play without realizing the full impact of what one is doing.

I think playing children can also be thought of as a symbol of wilderness and chaos – when there are regarded as neutral things that simply are, in all their complicated interestingness.

The Inner Toddler is also where the feeling of being wronged & wanting to get your will comes from, a blunt, pure and basic thing, even if that input then gets filtered through razorsharp instincts and sophisticated thought. You got the heart there off in its own little compartment and held back by the „blockage“ represented by the line to 2, so that it is in a sense kept safe where the world can’t get at it. But our feelings are still often where our motivations come from, especially long-term motivations that go beyond the basic „grab sandwich“ or „assert dominance“ (which arguably doesnt require that much thinking or feeling.)

Type 9

Layer 1: generic niceness

That’s sort of a kinda mean way to put it for comedic effect, but what it refers to is how the first contact surface level presentation tends to skew vaguely friendly but inoffensive, with some reluctance to state opinions, show distinguishing traits, state wants etc. and a general tendency to be accomodating or just quiet, disinterested & not very attention grabbing etc.

Generally you need to establish some trust first before the edges and corners are allowed to come out, with the 9w8s having on average a lower threshold for this.

Though, generally speaking with an average person you will eventually let their interesting traits come out & get more animated once they get comfortable, at least if they like you (though they may still put off avoid particularly big & serious confrontations or revealing things they’re insecure about)

Sometimes you see the idea floating around that to be a 9 you must be a doormat all the time, that’s not really correct. If anything that would probably indicate low self esteem, bad parenting or a lack of good quality friends if someone doesn’t ever feel comfortable saying their opinions & stuff.

Layer 2: pent-up frustration

Ah, but even if you try to be nice & accomidating all the time, sometimes you’re gonna want to do stuff, and sometimes you are not going to like what happens – especially if you’re an impulse type.

It’s only natural that never getting you way, always holding it in for the sake of avoiding drama & always giving up on what you want is going to create some degree of frustration, resentment or even anger. Humans arent doormats, being pushed around naturally & correctly makes you angry.

Blowing your top, however, would create even more of that drama you wanted to avoid in the first place, so that’s not an option either…

So there can be a diffusing of impulse or a numbing out of what would constitutionally have been a fairly receptive configuration. Sometimes with the sideffect that you also knock out the like, useful impulses to do stuff that goes beyond ingrained habit.

Some 9s, especially 9w1s will tell you that they rarely ever get angry, but it typically still takes some effort to stay that way, eg one might get distracted absent minded or forgetful when there i a lot of stressful stuff going on cause a lot of energy is devoted to NotGettingMad.exe

These are the ppl who can be sometimes at risk of not standing up for themselves.

Others are quite aware of it & brimming with inward frustration that might come out as snark, stubbornness or passive-aggression

Though its not just frustration alone - giving up on stuff/ feeling that following your dreams is impossible or that you’re not worth it, can also create sadness & stressing about conflict sources or general unadressed life problems can also make you anxious.

Often leading to the frequently reported phenomenon that 9s are often not nearly as chill or happy as they might outwardly appear, especially if they’re more introspective mbtis.

But even the ones with less inner awareness of their feelings & stuff can still have all of this going under the surface.

Layer 3: dreamy philosopher (interesting!)

...and then, who would have thunk, you find out that your pleasant but unassuming new friend actually has some pretty deep thoughts & feelings in their head, a rich, vivid imagination, a variety of well-developed interesting hobbies (though often more of the chill, domestinc kind), & just all manner of hidden dephts. Incluing sometimes picking a whole lot of stuff about their surroundings or the dynamics between the people there that others would miss since they would be more focussed on the parts that are relevant to their own interests.

As 9 is the ‚pure‘ impulse type, there’s a fair degree of energy, groundedness, vitality & ‚natural wisdom‘ to be unlocked here (that comes out in a less ‚colored‘ way than for 1 or 8) – or rather, one 9 described it to me that they get more animated & on the more that the environment is one of comfortable ‚flow‘, which correlates with my observations – like a normally super shy, closed off individual could suddenly be very funny & even cheeky when their family members are just vibin’ on the sofa or playing random party games.

In any case, for a type that characteristically tends to worry about being boring ironically they probably lower than average chance of boringness.

Are there some genuinely boring 9s? Probably, there’s billions of em, some of those are probably boring, and some part of interestingness is in the eye of the beholder.

I’d say that boringness mostly happens when someone isn’t aware of their potential for depht & dismisses the interests or sometimes turmoil-filled thoughts that would cultivate it as not worth pursuing, so that this inner place of imagination & softness gets obscured or go undeveloped.

#enneagram #typology

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lyravellas · 7 years

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Here There Be Gerblins Part 1: TAZ Pre-Finale Relisten Recap

I’m doing the uncut version. Pray for me.

Travis has his entire character and backstory locked and loaded prior to the pilot. Justin has come up with the name Taako. Both of these things are equally ridiculous in completely different ways.

BONUS: Justin: “I’m playing a wizard and his name is spelled T-A-A-K-O.” Travis: “So like… Tae… Tae-koh?” Justin: “Well, I mean, it’s-” Griffin: “Is your wizard named… are you naming your god damn wizard Taco?”

Travis describes Magnus’s stats as “everything’s twenties across the board, plus twenties on all of his skill checks, and he has a magic sword that kills people in one hit” and the fact that this is NOT ACTUALLY THAT FAR OFF FROM CURRENT MAGNUS is absolutely wild

Taako was originally an acolyte of Oghma, god of wizardly shit. That tidbit got dusted real fast, probably for the best.

Clint actually says that Merle being a good dancer is a character trait in this episode. In the Legato/Voidfish loop Clint studies interpretive jazz dance at the conservatory. Good job Clint

Motion to make points of inspiration being fucking useless into an IPRE meme even though that doesn’t make any sense.

When Clint remarks about his inexperience with D&D Travis actually says, word for word, “I honestly believe that dad is going to be the best one at this game. I mean skill, you gotta roll your dice and not blow it.” Holy shit does this particular tune change. Poor Clint and his cursed rolls.

Clint describes some no-bakes that Justin made and Griffin says he should be the one DMing the game. Clint McElroy superhero campaign for next arc confirmed?

Travis proposes ‘Steve Smith’ as an alternative name for Gundren Rockseeker. ‘Here lies the town of Phandalin, tragically destroyed by Steve Smith’ is one hell of a concept.

Fun fact: The very first roll in The Adventure Zone is to MapQuest fucking Phandalin.

Barry Bluejeans is undeniably a Very Good Name. However, it’s also pretty god damn easy to come up with a better name than Sildar Hallwinter, which sounds like what you’d get if you stuffed a broom handle up someone’s ass and asked them to freestyle some baby names.

Ruby the tiny pet bulldog that looks like two butts with some legs in the middle is my favorite character and I hope she’s okay.

“I’m studying my cantrips.” “YOU CAN JUST SAY MASTURBATING DAD”

Pretty much the moment I personally was like “Well I guess the McElroys own my ass now”

The first thing Merle tries to do in combat is cast a buff on the party and Griffin tells him not to do it to conserve spell slots. And thus, Merle’s shitty cleric origin story begins.

Taako gets the first kill of the campaign. He’s helped out quite a bit by Merle, though, who gets the first attack of the campaign. Magnus gets the first ‘leap off of shit and do something vaguely ridiculous’ action of the campaign.

Holy shit. Justin’s original Taako voice is absolutely ridiculous. It’s like an affected snake inhaled helium and also knew how to speak English.

“You could roll an investigation check on the dead horses.” “I rolled a two.” “You’re like ‘Wow look at these big dead dogs’”

Side note: I just got my brother into TAZ today and he absolutely lost his shit at this part.

Merle successfully casts a buff on Magnus in their second fight against an overpass gerblin. I think I might need to start a ‘Merle’s not actually a shitty cleric’ tally.

Taako chilling on the overpass while Merle and Magnus get pachinko’d around the cave by a wall of water is pretty much par for the course in terms of the THB dynamic later on and I love it.

The “I got too horny from the killing” goof is the weirdest source of nostalgia for me because even though this podcast snowballed into a wonderful amalgamation of comedy, emotion, and joy from that point forward, it is also just objectively a dude talking about how killing someone made him horny. So.

I’m keeping a running list of Shit That Probably Isn’t Technically Canon Anymore But Is Still Canon In My Soul. So far I’ve got:

Taako carries around a copy of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Elves”. Three of these habits are “looking at trees”, “long hair”, and “hackey sack”.

Merle has 1,999 party points.

Magnus carries a vanity mirror with him everywhere he goes to touch up his sideburns on Sundays.

I also think I’m going to be keeping a running list of “Things That Could Potentially Be Useful If The McElroys Remember Them”. So far I’ve got:

Taako’s fucking “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Elves” bathroom reader apparently allows him to rest once per day and recover some expended spell slots, somehow.

Apparently Taako has a couple cantrips called “Shield” and “Mage Armor”. I have no idea what these things do but considering Taako’s clownshit AC throughout the campaign I assume they might have been useful at some point earlier on in the game?

Taako has advantage on saving throws against being charmed and magic can’t put him to sleep hot damn flipwizard got skills

That’s it for this episode! It was a very fucking long one. Have a lovely fantasy day!

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iliketurtlestoo · 7 years

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Well here it goes..

REVLON woman’s day celebration!!🌼

It is the 7th of August 2017 and I won’t lie I am totally nervous. Since I have started with my photographic journey, I’m always jittery before a shoot, but today I feel like I’m going to faint. I get there (by there I mean the REVLON head office ) very early like 7:30 am early, but rather that than being late. Their beautiful HR graduate makes me muesli because obviously I couldn’t down a thing but I manage to finish. Things are quiet for a while, and people start pouring in and head to their offices.

I feel under dressed, because people are in their heels, their make is on point and here I am in black in sneakers and a cap. Now I remember that this is why I didn’t go for corporate, I cannot stand heels and sitting behind a desk is not for me. Nevertheless you can feel the excitement, the office is buzzing and it seems like the clock isn’t ticking any faster. I offer to help the graduate hand out Bonang’s book (From A to B) to all the employees. I laughed everytime when someone mentioned the grammar mistakes but funny enough everyone was excited to get the book. They all couldn’t wait to get it signed by the B herself.

The clock strikes 12 and we have an hour left till the B makes her appearance. I start photographing the set up, everything has a touch of pink and red which is a great collaboration between Revlon’s colours and Bonang’s favourite colour…PINK. I keep taking photographs of everything and at the back of my head I’m repeating the same thing over and over “DON’T MESS THIS UP”. You know as photographer you know your skills and your talent, but there is always that small tinge of doubt. I always feel like I can do more , I am never satisfied with what I produce. I hate feeling like that but I just want everything to be perfect.

Finally it is 1 o clock, and sis is running late because of make up, and the female employees are already seated and waiting for the Queen. To keep time the HR exec gets the ball rolling and suggests that they should enjoy the sweet treats set out for the beautiful women. Everyone amalgamates ,even though the Bee is running late you can still feel the anticipation in the air, hell I’m also excited. She finally arrives in that beautiful white Mercedes AMG (that beast of a car), she is dressed in a stripped kimono suit type of outfit, she looks ravishing and I start snapping away before she disappears into the building to meet up with the HR manager.

Eventually sis comes out and the women’s day celebration begins, the HR manager speaks about Bonang as their ambassador and congratulates her on her new book, she then ask B to speak about what she means when she says, invest in your sparkle. Sis then speaks on her life when she grew up, and how that inspired her to invest into her sparkle and her brand as Bonang, she also mentions that she knew from a long time ago that she would be a star and how it fit her “look at me” personality. This is also something she dabbles about in her book.

We are all really waiting for her to address us about the grammar issues in her book, but rather than do that she speaks on how people, will try to dampen your spirits by pointing out the mistakes rather to understand what you are trying to say. She didn’t go any further with this matter though and it all ended there because the book signing had to begin. But as I took pictures I got to see the admiration and fascination on the audience’s faces. Love or hate B you cannot hate her hustle, she grinds for her money. She does have her diva tendencies that I got to see and experiencefirst hand that day, which kind of burst the perfect bubble I put her under😑 . On a positive note though she inspired me to keep grinding and working hard to improve my craft and progress to where I want to be, also I learnt that not everyone will be happy with what I have to offer and that is okay, not everyone will love you and your work. It doesn’t mean stop working hard instead it should push you to work even harder to prove or show those people that I can do it all if given the chance.

The book signing goes well and a lot of pictures were taken, phones were flying everywhere. As tired as she is B still manages to smile and converse with each and everyone and is surprisingly sweet to everyone. She kept her composure.

For me this day was great because guys I never thought so early in my career I would be working with brands as big as Revlon, for me that is the real achievement, yes I photographed Bonang, but it is the Revlon’s part I am more proud of. Muffin Works Photography has been running for 4 years now, my baby is making moves, and I just want to thank everyone who is recognising and supporting me, that really means a lot to me. I still have a long way to go,but it’s small things like this that keep me going besides my passion. It’s not always sunshine and sunflowers, it’s been really hard for me to push ever since I left varsity. I know now that running a business is not for the faint hearted , most days I want to give up but it’s my passion and your support that keeps me going through those really dark days. I am a creative and I am not going anywhere any time soon😉😉.

PS: I wrote this in a way I would tell the experience to a friend, no professional writing here whatsoever. Plus I was really lazy to write this blog post to be honest, I even left a lot of things out….I’m sorry

Goodbye for now muffins🌻💕

My experience shooting for Revlon SA. Well here it goes.. REVLON woman's day celebration!!🌼 It is the 7th of August 2017 and I won't lie I am totally nervous.

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thesffcorner · 5 years

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Reign of the Fallen

Reign of the Fallen is the first book in a YA fantasy duology written by Sarah Glenn Marsh. It follows Odessa, a master necromancer who lives in the Kingdom of Karthia. The King of Karthia has ruled for centuries, resurrected by his royal necromancers, and the Kingdom has entirely forbidden change. When she and her partner Evander see the corpse of their former master during one of the King’s resurrections, they stumble onto a plot to overthrow the King; and possibly destroy necromancy forever. I went into this book with pretty high expectations, because I had heard people say it was their favorite book of last year and that it’s a really unique fantasy, that happens to center queer characters. I have to say that while that last bit is true, I was more than a little disappointed by the book.

Let’s start with the writing. This is not Marsh’s first book, but in many ways it feels like it is; from what I know she’s primarily a children's author, and despite the copious amounts of sex/making out in the book, this felt very young. Had it not been for the sexual content and rather violent deaths, I would firmly say that this could be a middle-grade book, since it’s so simple in its writing and world-building. Karthia doesn’t feel like a real place; none of the descriptions stood out or made me feel like I had a grasp on the culture, customs or even geography of the place, and for the most part I felt like this could have been set in any generic fantasy Kingdom. I’m not saying I need a Game of Thrones style detailed map and history, but having a bit more creativity in how the land is described, what the people wear, what they eat or drink would have been helpful. It’s not just the physical descriptions of the place that are a problem, it’s also the history and logic of the country. This is a Kingdom that’s stuck in time, since the Elder King is afraid of change and has banned it. And yet, the consequences of this seem to be nonexistent. First, how come there are no people, especially ones who live in the Ash, where the Black Plague is apparently abundant, who have ever rebelled against the King? How come no one is concerned or angry that because he has made no improvements over the centuries he has ruled, his subjects are dying off, and how has the plague not spread further? Moreover what doesn't change exactly? Are people still farming the same way? What about new generations? How are there very few mages if there's more people? If the dead can't reproduce, how are there any living royals left if the King has ruled for centuries? There is some mention of the palace being added more towers and rooms to host the ever expanding royal population, but wouldn't that be change? Or is it only change if it benefits the poor? Even the little things that should build on the world are neglected, like fashion trends and clothes staying the same for centuries. Even villagers in far away provinces have made no secret efforts to make improvements in their lives, or rebel; the most we get is some contraband coffee . There is an interesting set up here for a potentially serious situation if there are new types of mages that exist, or people from the Ash being fed up with being forced to live in squalid conditions with no work, but we never get any pay off. The atmosphere in the book isn't oppressive either; we never get the sense that things are bad or people are unhappy, which would make no sense considering how things are presented to run in this place. For a better example of what being frozen in time would actually look like, and is an inspired take on this same concept, I suggest An Enchantment of Ravens. The biggest issue I had with the book is that everything is very surface level, and even the characters can't escape it. All of the characters suffer from inconsistent characterization and informed traits, but also a specific thing that FPS books do that I hate, which is where characters flat out tell you exactly what they are feeling and thinking. For example: we have Odessa, our lead. She is afraid that if without being a master necromancer, she would be nobody. She has no family and no name, outside of her work. First, this is not true; we are shown from the start that Odessa has a loving relationship and lots of close friends; second do you know how I know this is her central conflict? She flat out spells it out for us, in chapter 1. We don't get any scenes or moments of her being devoted to the job, no points where her being a workaholic meddles with her personal life or threatens something else she cares about, there are no characters who react poorly to her being an orphan (in fact everyone seems to love and care about her). Her being the king's favorite necromancer is mentioned several times, but the King has barely any presence in the store, so we don't really get to see what kind of relationship they have. The most we get are a few moments of her being defensive or bitter that Evander wants to leave Karthia, (which is forbidden), but it doesn't make much sense to me why she wouldn't want to leave if they are so devoted to each-other. He too is a necromancer and if he can find work and travel in the outside world, why couldn't she? He's offering to leave his title behind, so if they were to leave Karthia, they would both be nobodies so I genuinely didn't understand why this was a fight they were having at all. Odessa isn't the only one who suffers from this, though she is hit hardest because we get the story from her PoV. The other characters have this same issue; they spell out their character traits, opinions, feelings and even entire relationships, and there is never any ambiguity about what they are thinking or feeling. The most egregious example was the relationship between Master Cymbre and Odessa. They are supposed to have this really tender mother-daughter bond, and we never see any of it. We are told by Odessa how she was raised and mentored by Cymbre, we are told she considers her a mother and how she always counted on her for guidance and help, but on page, they have 2 conversations, both including other characters, and the few scenes they do have alone, they aren't even communicating. I don't understand how you can fuck up a mentor figure this badly; Master Cymbre was a completely superfluous character and she might as well not have been in the book. Even the conceit of this book was not taken to its full potential. First, the Deadlands were woefully underdeveloped; I liked the idea of the stillness, treachery of the spirits and changing landscape, but the writing didn't convey any atmosphere. The Deadlands weren't creepy, they weren't eerie or sad, they were just there. This is especially sad, because the Shades that lurk there are supposed to be what nightmares are made off. The Shades too were just there. They are supposed to be incredibly powerful and repulsive, but the writing just didn't convince me of either. There was so much potential to describe them as this amalgamation of bile and rotting corpses strung together by dark magic, but they are never written as particularly threatening; most of the time when they kill someone we are just told they screamed and fell dead, which has no bite as something terrifying. The only creativity I could see in the book were the mechanics of the dead. I liked the idea of them being these slowly rotting corpses, being constantly cold and hungry, of having to cover all their skin in case someone lays eyes on them and they become Shades. There is a real sense of dread about these creatures, and if Marsh took the concept to the extreme, we could have had this genuinely deep, interesting exploration of what the price for bringing someone to life would be, and if being alive was worth the misery of such an existence, and the constant peril of turning into a monster. For a book about necromancers, necromancy is a subplot. We go to the Deadlands and we find a spirit, but we never get to see what a raising actually looks like. This happens a lot in the book, where what could be an interesting scene or concept is just skipped over. The plot was very simple, and I immediately guessed who the main culprit would be. Even if I had any doubt, there is a scene in the book that outright tells us who it is, but Odessa is too stupid and naive to notice, which is not a good sign from the supposed best necromancer in the land. The character too is a complete waste of potential; they are not developed beyond a very surface level, we never get any hints that they are secretly planning a coup, they never act like they could be against the way the Kingdom is ruled, and yet it was still so predictable they would be the villain. There could have been a really interesting moral and philosophical debate about the price of what they have done being worth the change that it will inevitably bring about to the Kingdom, and how such sacrifice is necessary for things to change for the better. If it had tied in with the poor and plague victims it would have had some actual bite, but no; they are just a one dimensional villain and the good guys are good, even if they are objectively wrong. One big focus of the book, is interestingly enough, addiction. I was not a fan of this plot point, even though it was one of the few things in the book that were done well, mostly because I find no joy or investment in reading about a self-destructive character spiraling deeper and deeper into lethargy and misery while all their friends watch and do nothing. I would have been more interested if the things Odessa does while being addicted to the potion actually had any consequences, like destroying her friendship with certain characters, leaving someone to die because of her incompetence, or hurting someone in her daze, but no. I also found the rehabilitation part too short and inconsequential; again, we skip over most of the harrowing stuff, and 7 days pass in the span of a few pages so that Odessa can be back in business like usual. It felt like a massive inconsequential detour, and it served more to pad out the page count than actually developing and informing her character. Let’s talk about the characters. I already mentioned how the main villain was a wasted opportunity, but so were their allies. They all had a compelling reason to do what they were doing, and if they had been better developed and we actually got to spend more time with them, we could have seen how the state of the Kingdom had brought them to their point. Instead, what we get is one character standing in the way of Evander and Odessa's romance... right. Ok. Danail, Simon and Jax were fine. Simon was Odessa's brother, in that they were both raised at the same convent as kids. The fact he calls her 'sister' all the time, made me cringe, because it's not a title, it's supposed to be sibling talk (do you call your siblings brother and sister as anything but a joke? Yeah, didn't think so). There is a bit about Simon being from a noble family and having night terrors about being separated from them, but we never follow up on it, so it just seems... irrelevant. Danail is Simon's boyfriend, and he has no personality. He is feminine, which I appreciated, in that he wears eyeliner and cares about clothes and fashion, but he neither does much nor contributes much to the plot, other than when Simon tells us they have been fighting. Jax was probably the best developed of the bunch and I actually liked him best. There are some interesting implications about his relationship to Evander, which if intentional are never followed up on. He and Odessa have a thing which was actually written surprisingly well, and he's the only character that exhibits any nuance, in that he doesn't flat out state what he wants and shows care or anger through his actions. However, what he Odessa do in the guise of comfort and moving on is never really explored fully, and I'm having a hard time believing that their 'friendship' could survive beyond the point that Odessa gets sober. We are presented this volatile angry character, and yet he's completely fine that Odessa uses him as an emotional clutch, and negates any bond they might have developed while grieving? Nah. For the girls, we have Valoria, Mereday and Odessa. Valoria was the least interesting character; she is a princess and an inventor. She wears glasses. She is shy. That’s about it for her character. She loses her entire family in one day and has nothing to say for it. Great. Mereday was more interesting, but again, it's all surface level stuff. There could have been something truly interesting about her nursing this crush on Odessa since childhood, but staying away because she has family problems, and because she doesn't want to get in the way of Odessa and Evander. However, we get very little, if any of this, and instead we focus on a really ill-timed romance. Mereday loses her girlfriend and brother in the span of a month, and yet she's fussing about Odessa and kissing her? People process grief in different ways, but this was just... woefully underdeveloped for it not to be squeaky as a plot point. I already talked about Odessa, but I'd like to point out that she could have been a more interesting character if she had been written consistently. She's mean and selfish, which is fine as a starting point for her character, if the book actually addressed these traits. She uses people left and right, is completely immersed in herself and her own pain and loss, that she is incredibly rude to Evander's mother and sister, and dismisses their feelings. She shrugs off her mentor and her friends, and yet at no point does she experience consequences for her actions, not to mention that she feels jealous and entitled if they are friends with each-other or care about anyone more than they do about her. I'm not saying I want Odessa to be alone, I'm saying I want to see her work to regain the people in her life, and make amends for what she does. There was the opportunity here for a genuinely interesting character arc, and instead we get... kissing. The other problem with the characters was that they all sounded exactly the same. With the exception of Jax who swings between kind of sexist and jokey, to violent and jockey, everyone else is indistinguishable. Simon is supposed to be sarcastic, but his jabs and jokes are indistinguishable from the ones Odessa or Evander make. It’s a fantasy book where the characters sound like they stepped out of high school, and I didn't much care for that. Overall, I did not like this book. It was too short, too superficial and too underdeveloped to be engaging. It read like a first draft of a story that’s in desperate need of some personality and editing, and even the cool concept and possibly interesting world couldn’t save it.

goodreads

#reign of the fallen #reign of the fallen review #moni talks #book review

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beyondthetemples · 7 years

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4, 6, 12, 13, 17, 21, 22, 23, 31, 35 (Hi there! It feels like it's been forever! Have a shit tone of questions!)

{{ Oh man, welcome back! You have a shit to of questions, I have a shit ton of answers~ }}

4.) Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

There have been a LOT of things Dove “witnessed” that changed her life. Some of it through her mother’s eyes; some of it through Srentha’s. Until she comes to Earth, she’s so intentionally withdrawn from the world that she doesn’t know anything else. And it’s not until a prophecy of total devastation nears its completion that Dove finally sees something for herself.

And, do others know? Well. Here’s the hard thing about being a telepath with projective abilities that allow you to send your thoughts into someone else’s mind: Sometimes, things slip through that she doesn’t mean to share. Particularly things that are brought to the surface. The hard part is getting Dove to explain what that image of her mother and a bowl of water meant, or how there was fire on top of the river, or why she ran away from her mother instead of trying to save her. Very rarely is it anything of importance… but with people she’s close to, sometimes the deeper emotions slip through a deeper connection.

(As of right now, I only have the occasional glimpse and vaguest explanations about them known to Srentha’s mind, and it’s not until Dove is about 37 and her daughter is 15 that Dove tells anyone about how terrible DDD was, and how harshly it changed her. Her mother, of course, knew of anything important, because Dove willingly shared [almost] everything. Everything real, anyways.)

6.) Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

In her nice dreams, Dove finds herself at peace. There are quiet moments, sometimes with Dove letting out a peal of childish laughter (that is more an amalgamation of others’ sounds, than anything she herself would ever laugh). Sometimes it’s simply walking, looking, as her mind creates a world of wonder around her. And sometimes she remembers Srentha, her one and only secretly-held childhood penpal. Sometimes her mother is there, and she wakes up crying. And sometimes she dreams others’ dreams, in places she’s never seen, speaking languages she’ll never know. But she doesn’t mind. (It’s better than when her powers make them have HER nightmares…)

12.) In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Ever, ever, in her entire life? That would easily be her childhood, when she placed all her trust in her mother and the magics around her keeping her safe and calm. There was nothing to worry about there. She knew her mother would protect her. And she always forgot about her nightmares by the time she had to sleep again. Reading, while her mother either worked with her herbs, tying them up in batches to dry by the front room’s window, or sat in her favorite corner to meditate, scrying into a bowl of water that seemed to hold even more secrets than their house. Her mother was calm, contented… and so Dove couldn’t help but mirror that, reading with the warmth of the window collecting on the dark curtain behind her as she snuggled into the chair, and basked in the glow of the moment, the sun filtering through a window she couldn’t see, and nobody outside could see her through. And the weight of the book in her lap, and the sound of her mother’s voice and the smell of her favorite blend of incense touched calm to every sense Dove had.

13.) Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Well, first and foremost, the sight (and smell, and feeling) of blood make her horribly nauseous. (This tends to kick-start her emetophobia, which makes it harder to focus on doing something to help.) It’s quite a few months of training and gentle, slow exposure therapy before Dove is able to even being in the same room as an injured friend, and quiet the psychically-shared pain fuzzing static in her brain, before she’s able to calm down, take a breath, and dampen the nausea enough to MOVE, and do what she needs to, to help. (Even in her early days as a hero: If she has time to steel herself, deep breathe, and feels safe enough to risk either messing up on minor injuries, like the placement of a band-aid, or calling someone else if it’s life-threatening, she can HANDLE it. But she never quite grows out of the squeamishness and cringing at the sight of blood.)

17.) What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

You know, Dove never really had a proper “toy”, in the traditional sense. She played myth-stories or prophecies out with household items, or used her hands like wings (because she’d watch the bird her mother kept to heal an injury, and decided her hands could become flying people), or even make little sceneries out of bookshelves and blankets, and send her spoon and hand people to explore the mysterious new world created for them. Dove was far more of a watchful child than an active imaginative child. Of course she still had imagination; one needs to, in order to enjoy books and stories quite as much as she did. The dust motes floating in the window amused her every bit as much as those stories, and she only played with other things like sentient beings when she was especially inspired by a myth or a glimpse through her mother’s memory.

21.) If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Dove has trouble believing in definite causation. She often takes a big-picture view of the situation, and Although, when it comes to the “Why did this happen?” moment, even if it isn’t the BIG picture, the tiniest frame still tends to fall on what she could have done to cause something– or what she SHOULD have done to STOP it (if she wasn’t so weak; pacifistic; afraid)… even if logically, she knows she couldn’t have, and shouldn’t blame herself. She’s already a deep-set sufferer of survivor’s guilt. You don’t choose leave your beloved mother behind, knowing she’s going to die alone, tell her you’re leaving to her face, and get away with it without some heavy emotional baggage. (Even though, for Dove and Alerina it was a lot more touching and verbose than that.)

22.) What does your character like in other people?

Generally, Dove likes being able to observe, to understand, and feel free enough to ask questions that she can LEARN to understand the things about them that her “native” mindset isn’t used to parsing out. She doesn’t need to figure out “what makes them tick” or anything; she just likes knowing the basic parameters around which to base her behavior, and whether or not she “belongs” with them. (She would much rather be uncomfortable, in a corner alone, than uncomfortable with someone’s attention on her.)

23.) What does your character dislike in other people?

Anger and violence are the quickest ways to scare her off. The telepathic (and, event o a degree, empathic) receptions, this anger and violence touching her mind, sets her on edge, and she immediately feels that she can’t be with this person. On the basest level: She doesn’t like it. Worst case scenario? They bring out the parts of herself that she always tries so hard to conceal. And then, of course, things get BAD.

31.) Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Something quiet, calm, and familiar. Familiarity is really the key to relaxing her; quiet and calm can be sacrificed for the sake of knowing where she is, what to do, where to go. Making decisions puts a small sort of stress on her for some reason, and if she knows what she’s supposed to do ahead of time, or WANTS to to, or is allowed to let somebody else take the lead, and thinks they won’t lead her anywhere unfamiliar: She gladly follows, with trust.

35.) How does your character behave around people they like?

You can tell when Dove’s enjoying your presence, because she’ll broach conversation, ask questions, and CREATE further conversation, rather than hopping she can stop talking now. She’s also happy to try new things– she DOES have a streak of curiosity, you know! It just tends to manifest much more quietly than her avoidance. But if she’ll follow you somewhere new, or try something new after you show her how: You know you have her trust. She’s just a lot more open and rigid (in body language and posture, of course… but also in mind, emotion, and actions). Who knows. If she REALLY likes you, you might even be… gasp! SURPRISED by something she does!

#dovemun headcanons list #reluctant-reflection #reluctantreflection

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tinymixtapes · 5 years

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Column: Favorite Rap Mixtapes of November & December 2018

With a cascade of releases spewing from the likes of DatPiff, LiveMixtapes, Bandcamp, and SoundCloud, it can be difficult to keep up with the overbearing yet increasingly vital mixtape game. In this column, we aim to immerse ourselves in this hyper-prolific world and share our favorite releases each month. The focus will primarily be on rap mixtapes — loosely defined here as free (or sometimes free-to-stream) digital releases — but we’ll keep things loose enough to branch out if/when we feel it necessary. (Check out October’s installment here.) Soooooo many dope mixtapes these past two months that even as TMT’s year-end coverage wrapped up like gifts bursting from Santa’s sack, our squad still jumped at the chance to pile on some final blurbs of 2018 before the ball-drop. “Overbearing?” Maybe. “Hyper-prolific?” Definitely. Multiple puns in that first sentence? Two for the price of one, hon. To that, before we get into our November and December favs, here are some “honorable mentions” that didn’t get a write-up below but are no less deserving of a spin this New Year’s Eve: Semiratruth - WAIT!, Demahjiae - Ghetto Blessings, SPNDA x Kae Tea - Mosaic EP Lil Durk - Signed to the Streets 3, City Girls - Girl Code, The Diplomats - Diplomatic Ties, Roc Marciano - Pimpstrumentals, Grimm Doza & SpaceGhostPurrp - The Haunting in New Jersey, Wiardon - Numba1Viktim, Chris Crack - Just Gimme A Minute and Thanks Uncle Trill, Bloodmoney Perez - Time is a Motherfucker, CL King - Waiting 4, and Defcee - A Mixtape As God Intended, Vol. 1 … also, three (!!!) Young Thug leaks. –Samuel Diamond --- Red Daughter, Trap Funk & Alivio - Red Funk Alivio 2 [STREAM] It’s mixtapes like this one that have us quietly missing the days when the word “rap” wasn’t in this column’s title. W/o wasting too many words justifying this tape’s inclusion, let’s just say rap is a big part of it. But so too are Afrocentrism, feminism, indigenous pride, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Brazil, baile funk, Jersey club, house, footwork, and many more elements than an admittedly limited worldview can readily identify. One hesitates to revisit clichés like the dance after the revolt or “if this doesn’t get you moving, you’re already dead,” but, well, while Google Translate tells us that alivio is Portuguese for relief, our ears, eyes, and noses tell us that the club is flooding with oppressor blood. If you missed the first drop, catch up. –Samuel Diamond --- Tommy Genesis - Tommy Genesis [STREAM] We the undersigned/unwashed jabberers at TMT have a tastynasty habit of measuring years out in loosely-themed song mixes. I bet some super astute comment section glob thinks it’s an arbitrary habit. I humbly submit that when we cycle artifacts through a series of spaces, patterns emerge. Assumptions get split. Moods and usages cross and swerve. The exceptional artifacts fit every space. Tommy Genesis, the Vancouver rapper’s debut album, pumps blood and caresses muscles like GYM, cycles want until it subsumes self, a party in the VOID. “Drive” flecks acoustic strings at the CLIFF’s edge and Charlie Heat’s ballast production on “Play With It” turns the ALLEY concave, sends come-on invocations city-wide, supercharged fuel for the COUPE. Tommy Genesis sounds like a whole damn year — wanting more is loving living. –Frank Falisi --- Peewee Longway - State of the Art [STREAM] A glaring omission from our Favorite Cover Art feature (putting him at two for the year), State of the Art finds Peewee Longway rapping as well as he ever has, retaining his distinctive style while adapting to the ever-evolving sound of the moment. Longway’s sound has always tracked the mainstream not directly but as a point of divergence; while likely not distinct enough to make him anyone’s absolute favorite rapper, he’s well-positioned for the reliable production of quality, personable raps. State of the Art is split between showpieces for relatively stock guest spots from the likes Gucci or members of Migos, and far more idiosyncratic one-offs; “Lets Be Real” (with Maxo Kream) is a Molly anthem reminiscent of some of Longway’s stranger inclinations, while “Top of the Bank” marries an Otis Redding interpolation and a cooing, celebratory hook without either seeming out of place. Longway’s more likely to retire from rap (yet again) than blow up any time soon, but State of the Art is more than enough proof that the roundest rapper working has got plenty left to give. –Corrigan B --- Adé Hakim - On To Better Things [STREAM · DOWNLOAD] In a year of SlumsNYC triumphalism — see the series of landmark releases by navy blue, King Carter, MIKE et al., culminating with Earl Sweatshirt’s Some Rap Songs — Adé Hakim a.k.a. Sixpress has been like a silent partner to the movement. Featured on most of the aforementioned and having released a couple of short but no less notable mixtapes on his own this year, Hakim closes out an already-headway-making 2018 with his most complete and progressive work to date in the aptly titled On To Better Things. Low-key, high-impact beats, rhymes, and life insights from the birthplace of hip-hop coalesce here in a freely collective but clearly self-defined gestalt. Where do we go from this? Just listen. –Samuel Diamond --- AJ Suede - Darth Sueder II: Goth Marciano [STREAM] Don’t let your current intake of “lo-fi” hip-hop begin and end with Earl’s latest album. Rapper/Producer AJ Suede has perfected his own take on the subgenre with his latest tape, Darth Sueder II, chopping lightly treated soul samples to set his seasick verses adrift on a lemon-lime sea. What he’s doing sonically isn’t boundary-breaking or avant-garde, but his ear for memorable loops that settle into the backdrop is impeccable. On “Lovable,” a meandering organ shuffles against hi-hats that eke out what should be an un-rappable rhythm; somehow, though, it’s the perfect vehicle for Suede to wax romantic about autumn leaves before launching into asides about gentrification and white people who are too quick to call the cops. Ideas are scattered throughout the brief tracks, but each one’s focused, bridged by some of my favorite punchlines in recent memory (“I was in that county fair/ Like that kid apparently.”) If you’re not scared off by references to esoteric Christianity and MK ULTRA, give Goth Marciano a spin — it’s a fresh take on minimalistic East Coast hip-hop, especially for someone often entrenched in the distorted cloud rap favored by his brethren in the Underground Dust Funk collective. –Jude Noel --- Big Twins - Grimey Life [STREAM] Although Big Twins f.k.a. Twin Gambino has experienced something of a second life thanks to today’s boom-bap revival, one need look no further than the guestlist on this tape to recognize his Infamous Mobb credentials. In addition to features from fellow Infamous rappers Godfather Pt. 3 and Ty Nitty, as well as Mobb affiliate Big Noyd, Grimey Life includes a posthumous appearance by Prodigy, which finds the late icon far from phoning it in, with lines such as “I handle bars like lifers or motocross bikers.” For those keeping track, Havoc also lends a verse (to Knxwledge-produced eulogy “Memories”), and The Alchemist produces the fittingly ghostly “Phantom of the Opera.” In spite of these bigger names and many other features, the project is first and foremost a product of Big Twins whose often imitated but never duplicated voice remains the unmistakable audio definition of grime — inflicted pain inflected. –Samuel Diamond --- Bbymutha - Muthaz Day 3 [STREAM] The cover art of Muthaz Day 3 is a photo of Bbymutha with her two sets of twins all dressed in red robes, surrounded by candles and sitting on what appears to be a pentagram. You’re in her domain now. Welcome to a world full of sinister instrumentals and trap beats that slither underneath the Chattanooga rapper’s spellbinding flow; a world where a single mom with two sets of twins doesn’t have to be bound by the traditional ideas of what a parent should or shouldn’t be; a world where confidence is the lifeblood of all things. On Muthaz Day 3, Bbymutha continues to champion her independence and forge ahead on a path that she’s laying brick by brick, all by herself. –Sam Tornow --- DaBoii - Neva Lookin Back [STREAM] We should be thankful that this was even made into a playlist. For a little over two years, the members of Bay Area juggernaut SOB X RBE have operated as an essentially YouTube-only outfit; while enjoyable, both recent albums (GANGIN and GANGIN II) scan more as fulfillments of label obligations than as faithful documents of the group’s most essential, often online-only work. As obsessives were left to parse the steady stream of loosies from individual members and all possible combinations thereof, there were few safer bets than a DaBoii solo track. DaBoii raps with purist appeal, his style a charismatic but unornamented amalgam of the Bay’s long history of singular rap figures. The videos, courtesy directors Tyler Casey and BGIGGZ, are often as entertaining as the songs themselves; Neva Lookin Back corrals three of DaBoii’s best from the past year (“Ridin’,” “Onna Gang,” and “Sum it Up”) alongside a further nine new tracks, offering an imperfect but better-than-nothing document of DaBoii’s 2018. Still, it’s probably best to rip your own copy of this while you still can. –Corrigan B --- Curren$y, Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist (Fetti?) - Fetti (Roma?) [STREAM] A tangential anecdote that bears repeating: in a recent interview, rapper Milo reminisced about driving around Chicago with rapper Serengeti, listening to Freddie Gibbs and Madlib’s Piñata, which Milo recalled inspired ‘Geti to say, “I don’t know if it gets better than this.” Word. Although pairing with the Mad Liberator might’ve made Gibbs your favorite rappers’ favorite rapper, heads have been waiting for a Gibbs-Curren$y-Alchemist album since the trio first came together on 2011’s “Scottie Pippen.” Thankfully, Fetti does not disappoint nor does it rest on the laurels that the three artists have received independently of each other in the seven years since. Which brings us to another point not yet fully addressed in this tape’s coverage to date: none of the three artists’ names appear on the cover, yet the word “Roma” does, leading one to believe that it might in fact be the title to this, the first release by a rap supergroup named Fetti. Fingers crossed, lighters up. –Samuel Diamond --- Warhol.ss - Chest Pains [STREAM] Has it really been two and a half years since Warhol.ss dropped “Speed Racer?” Although it feels like little time has passed since the Chicago emcee broke into the SoundCloud mainstream, the platform’s predominant ethos has experienced so much change it’s easy to forget the potential that brief track packed. Surfing Brentrambo’s undulant percussion, Warhol.ss stood out with a gruff cadence and unflinching confidence that offset the bubblegum aesthetic that overtook 2016. Despite a handful of collaborations with tastemakers Pi’erre Bourne and Cole Bennett, he’s yet to recreate his initial brilliance — an understandably difficult feat for someone so ahead of their time. On Chest Pains, we find Warhol.ss exploring the lanes that lead him back to prominence: he’s at his most accessible muttering plosive-tinged one-liners on the Kenny Beats-produced “Bird’s Nest,” but “War Ready” proves to be the tape’s most fascinating venture. Kick drums stumble over bars as Warhol lines the off-kilter rhythm with a nimble collage of triplet flows. It’s difficult to wrap your head around, but it’s hypnotic if you can. This new crop of cuts doesn’t include an obvious hit, but it does appear to be a step toward something greater. Trust the process. –Jude Noel --- Black Josh - Yung Sweg Lawd [STREAM] Is it acute homesickness or latent agoraphobia that causes some people to become physically ill every time they leave their old stomping grounds? Or maybe just plain, ordinary travelers sickness? My brother, who works in an airport, told me that a few months back a flight touched down with every passenger and crew member sick, like vomiting sick… quarantine sick. Yung Sweg Lawd is that sick, bro. It’s dark. Absent a better frame of reference (my fault), it’s Wu-Tang on Tim Westwood in the 90s, blacked out, using the words “dark” and “horrible” as slang praise, having likely just learned it. Pharma-grade smoke clouds billowing like factory stacks, it’s the acid rain; Black Josh a climate-change centaur moving (in) packs. –Samuel Diamond --- The-Dream - Ménage à Trois: Sextape Vol. 1, 2, 3 [STREAM] Weird times that we’re living in when an artist can release a three-volume, 42-song mixtape and it’s not anticipated or received as their magnum opus. In fact, I don’t even think that R&B heavyweight The-Dream announced Ménage à Trois beforehand beyond hinting that he was working on something. Thus Ménage à Trois, thematically billed as a three-part “sex tape,” with album art to match, lands as another long project from another major artist (which is the standard in The Age of Streaming), but it’s one worth sifting through if you like R&B even just a little bit. Singers-turned-rappers and/or rappers-turned-singers are a dime a dozen nowadays (i.e., that Drizzy-/Ty Dolla-esque hybrid style, which, make no mistake, I do enjoy), which is to say: for all the suave-crooning purists like myself, R&B proper has seen better days on the charts. Luckily, The-Dream gives us 2.5 hours of sultry singing (mostly) sans rap harmonies here while still delivering much stylistic variety. Think The Weeknd’s Trilogy except every song is about sex, with a modus operandi that overall seems to be downtempo and lush. Dig through this behemoth until you find something to cuddle up with — there’s bound to be stuff you’ll have on repeat. –Alex Brown --- Boosie Badazz - Boosie Blues Cafe [STREAM] From the Thanksgiving release date (announced two days prior) to its very concept, the actual existence of Boosie Blues Cafe was far from certain until the moment we had it in our hands. Not that expectations were tempered to match, of course. While not “bluesy,” per se, the cathartic baring of the soul has always factored heavily into Boosie’s work; he’s the man with a song for everything, a Baton Rouge legend off his ability to speak directly to the city’s youth. The prospect of him stepping fully into the region’s other musical tradition, then, was immensely appealing, if less out of optimism than sheer curiosity. It works OK — with the exception of absolute slapper “I Know How to Have a Good Time,” most of the tracks are identifiably Boosiean to a fault; Boosie’s got such a long history of rapping this stuff in a compelling way that translating it to a blues idiom can feel a bit rote. A worthwhile experiment, however; Boosie’s passion projects are by default a thousand times more interesting than someone else’s re-hashing of the very crowded Rap Caviar lane. –Corrigan B --- Sir E.U - Merry christmas my nigga! / Thc / To This Day / Cries for help [MCMN · THC · TTD · CFH] Earlier this year, I was talking to an artist who shall remain nameless about the inclusion in this column of a tape by another artist who shall remain nameless. The artist I was kibitzing with took issue with the included work, saying something to the effect of “If you throw enough shit at the wall, eventually some will stick, but that doesn’t mean it’s any good,” which is more than fair. To be honest, my understanding of noise sets and DJing in general isn’t nearly adroit enough to tell if Sir E.U’s massive output over the last two weeks is an example of the aforementioned criticism or of a mix master purposely and methodically laying waste to two-turntable fundamentals. Either way, though, the shit bangs. And the sheer quantity of his year-end sound dump is something to behold. Dig in. –Samuel Diamond http://j.mp/2GM5GfC

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