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akfsylph · 1 year

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Here’s chapter 2 of Blizzard of ‘23. I can’t wait to write more and make Kyle a sassy queen :’)

Chapter 1

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 2

Reversing into the snow covered driveway of his parents’ house, Kyle was relieved that both his parents were fast asleep at this hour. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle his mother pestering him with a thousand questions about the drive, his work, if he had a girlfriend, and what the hell happened to the back of his car.

Shifting the car into park, the redhead let out a long sigh as he stepped out into the cold to gather his belongings from the back seat. He approached the front door, unlocked it as smoothly and quietly as possible, sliding into the dark house. The redhead wanted nothing more than to be in his bed, fast asleep with no thoughts of what had just happened.

He hadn’t seen Eric Cartman since they graduated high school almost six years ago. Kyle was fortunate enough in his past visits to South Park to have never encountered the fat man since leaving the small town. It wasn’t that out of the ordinary since most of the kids he grew up with left little South Park. Anyone from Kyle’s childhood he would see from making the effort to meet up rather than by happenstance.

Kyle dragged his legs up the stairs to his childhood bedroom. His pale hand gripped the door handle and his body began to push open the door before a voice stopped him.

“Kyle! I’m so glad you made it safe. How was the drive?” Sheila Broflovski pulled her eldest son into a tight hug.

“Ma, did I wake you up?” the redhead tried to mask his mild annoyance hugging his mother back, knowing he couldn’t escape her embrace.

“Oh, no, honey, I was already up!” Kyle knew that was a lie, but didn’t refute it. She held onto her son for a few more moments before finally pulling away. “You must be exhausted from the drive, do you want anything? I washed your sheets for you and left some snacks in the room—”

“Thanks, ma, fresh sheets and some snacks sounds great right now. I’m tired from the drive, so let’s catch up tomorrow, okay?” the redhead dismissed his mother’s tangent before she got too caught up in it. He loved his mother, but he didn’t love how overbearing she could be at times. “What time is Ike landing tomorrow?”

“Yes, yes you need to get some rest,” Sheila motioned the man into the bedroom. “Ike’s flight is landing around eight in the morning; your father is picking him up—”

“I can pick him up!” Kyle quickly suggested. He figured he could manage to hide the damage on his car a bit longer to prevent getting an earful from both his parents. His mother raised an eyebrow at his proposal. “W-Well, my car is blocking the garage and I have to be somewhere at nine tomorrow anyways…”

“You’ve only been here five minutes and you’re already doing something,” Sheila complained, “why can’t you just hang out and relax with your family?”

“Ma,” Kyle sighed “it’s fine, I’m here for two weeks. I just have something to take care of. Then soon you’ll be sick of me.”

Sheila smiled at her son before letting herself into the room behind Kyle, who had placed his luggage down on the floor and sauntered over to the bed tucked in the corner of the small bedroom. She pointed to a basket full of Kyle’s favorite snacks that she proudly put together herself, and despite how tired and annoyed Kyle felt, he couldn’t help but laugh at the predictability of his mother.

“Thanks, ma. Go back to bed; I’ll see you in the morning,” Sheila pulled Kyle in for one more hug before finally leaving the redhead to himself.

“Good night, bobola,” she said before shutting the door behind her.

Sprawling on the bed, Kyle was thankful to finally have a moment of peace before he had to deal with Cartman tomorrow morning. He still was in disbelief of his own stupidity and swore never to roll a stop sign again no matter what the circumstances were. The redhead continued to mentally berate himself until his body slipped into a deep slumber.

~*~*~*~*~

The sound of three obnoxious knocks on the bedroom door followed by the familiar sound of a man’s voice calling out his name disrupted Kyle’s sleep.

“Kyle, are you awake? Are you still going to pick up Ike from the airport?”

Groggily lifting himself out of bed, he checked the time on the bedside clock that read 7:15 in faded red digits, “Yeah, dad, don’t worry I’m still going to pick him up.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go and you can rest a bit more? Your mother can make breakfast for you,” Gerald continued.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I was just about to leave anyways,” Kyle called out, hopping on one leg to put on his jeans from yesterday. He threw on his staple green hat over his red hair and opened the bedroom door. His father was standing outside with a mug in hand.

“Well, alright,” his father said, “we’ll see you whenever you get back, Kyle.”

The redhead nodded and pushed past his father to make his way out the front door and towards his car. He cringed at the sight at the damaged bumper of his car as he unlocked the sedan and slid in. Turning over the engine, he turned on the radio and began his route to the airport.

~*~*~*~*~

“Kyle!”

Ike Broflovski waved a thin arm in the air to direct Kyle’s attention at him in the crowd of people at the airport passenger pick up.

“Ike! I’m so glad to see you!” the older brother pulled the other into a hug. He opened the back door so Ike could place his luggage before starting the ride back to their parents’ house. “How was the flight?”

“It was fine,” Ike said as he clicked his seatbelt securely, “I was asleep for most of the flight thankfully. So, what exactly happened to your car, guy?”

Kyle’s grip on the steering wheel tightened as he once again cringed at the thought of his poor, sad, crushed car. He let out a small sigh before going to explain to his younger brother the source of his damaged bumper.

“Well, let’s just say I was being impatient on the way to ma’s house. I rolled a stop sign and cut an SUV off…and you wouldn’t believe who was driving that SUV.”

“Was it Cartman?”

If Kyle was drinking something at that moment, he was sure he would have spat it out. How did his younger brother guess on the first try? Especially after he just said that Ike wouldn’t even believe who the other driver was?

“How did you guess?” Kyle asked.

“Well, because why wouldn’t it be Eric Cartman? If it was anyone else, you wouldn’t be so pissd off right now.” Ike explained casually, looking out the window instead of looking at his brother. Kyle could sense the smirk of Ike’s face.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I would be equally as pissed off if anyone else hit my car!” the redhead retorted.

“Mhmm, that’s true—you’ve always been a little fireball,” Ike continued speaking before Kyle could respond. “So did ma and dad find out?”

“Ugh, thankfully not. Hence why I picked you up instead of dad.” Kyle explained. “I’m glad that they didn’t look outside this morning or I’m sure I wouldn’t have heard the end of it.”

“If I’m being honest, I’m kind of glad you got hit,” Ike laughed, “I would have rather been picked up by you rather than dad. So, thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kyle rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately I’ll be leaving you alone with them for a little bit this morning. I have to see fatass and deal with our insurance this morning.”

“Well, good luck with that. I’m surprised he has insurance…” the Canadian trailed off.

“That’s what I said!”

~*~*~*~*~

After dropping off Ike at their parents’ house, Kyle apprehensively embarked to Tweek Bros. to meet with Cartman. He was hoping this would take no longer than ten, fifteen minutes at most. In all the years the redhead knew and interacted with the brunet, he had not one good experience with Eric Cartman. And this encounter was just another example of a shitty encounter with the fat man.

Kyle soon found himself parked outside the local coffee shop with a few minutes to spare before the clock struck nine. He debated in his head whether he actually wanted to enter the shop and be forced to deal with Cartman. His rational side knew there was no getting out of this unless he wanted to pay for the damages out of pocket and live in fear for the next two weeks that Cartman would be hunting him down.

His body finally decided to move out of the car and into the coffee shop. To his surprise, he spotted the fat man sitting down comfortably at a table that was engulfed in morning sunlight. His lips met the rim of his coffee mug as his eyes were fixed on whatever was on his phone.

“Welcome in,” a smooth voice came from behind the counter. Richard Tweak gave the redhead a warm smile as he walked towards the front counter to place his order. The man behind the counter looked much older than Kyle last saw to no surprise; it had been years since he stepped foot into the family coffee shop.

“Hello,” Kyle returned the smile, “I’ll just take a small coffee with room for cream, for here, please.”

“Wonderful, that will be $3.05,” the man said, tapping on the register screen. Kyle paid for his coffee, exchanged one more smile with Mr. Tweak, and took his coffee to the table with an assortment of creamers and sugars.

As he was pouring the cream into his mug, Cartman’s voice called out to him.

“Well, well, I’m surprised you actually showed up,” the man said without looking up from his phone screen.

“Fu—” Kyle was about to shoot a “fuck you” towards the fat man, but remembered he was in the public eye. He took his mug and quickly sat down across from Cartman. “Fuck off, dude,” the redhead said quietly, “of course I would show up.” A smirk formed on Cartman’s face as he finally put attention on Kyle.

“Lucky for you, I do have a proposition for you that you must be interested in.”

The redhead rolled his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time today, “Whatever you’re trying to scheme, I’m not interested. Can’t we just settle this like adults and call out insurance companies already?”

“Wait, wait, you’ll want to hear this, I’m sure,” Cartman held up a hand in front of Kyle as if to stop the redhead from interrupting him. “This idea won’t raise our insurance and we’ll both get our cars fixed at a good price. I’m sure you remember Butters, right?”

Kyle raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“Well, he has an auto shop on the other side of South Park. I’m sure he would give us a deal or something good—”

“Cartman, you’ve been nothing but a manipulative asshole to Butters for as long as you’ve known him. You think he’s still going to help you after all that you’ve put him through?”

“Well, duh, Kyle!” Cartman asserted. “He just did a tire rotation for me just the other month!”

“Oh, so, you’re still an ass and he’s still an idiot,” Kyle mumbled under his breath. Before Cartman could ask what he said, he continued, “Well, whatever. If you think that’s the best option I’m fine with paying for both the repairs.”

“Uh, uh, uh! That’s not all,” the brunet told. “There’s one more thing you have to agree to before I’m satisfied.”

Kyle couldn’t piece together what the other man could want from him. Isn’t a cheap repair service and no higher insurance rates enough? Then they would never have to see or speak to each other for the rest of eternity?

“What else could you possibly want, fatass?” the man spat.

“You.”

~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 3

#south park #sp kyman #kyman #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #ike broflovski #im havin fun writing about these two shit heads tee hee #sp #kyle x cartman #cartman x kyle

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