#DFHGSJHJAK THERE

[heraldofcrow]

(brain damage warning) WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF Micolash, Laurence, Aldrich, Shabriri, Aldia and Allant shared a chat? Who would become friends? Who would b so cringe even all these other guys are uncomfortable now? Etc?

(Also shut your chicken beak before you accused me of skill issue for failing to identify That Guy in DS1, you saw the process of me trying and crashing, go complain to Val about it (I say go and not fly because chicken can't fly NYEHEHE))

*A deranged scholar, a self-righteous vicar, a right and proper cleric with a habit of devouring men, a blind stan of 19th century Russian nihilism with a penchant for eye trauma, a burning glitched-out tree, and an evil Colonel Sanders walk into a bar*

—

Micolash: ….anyone in this squad smoke weed?

Allant: I have clinical depression.

Micolash: …

Aldia: Does anyone really, truly, deeply understand the meaning of the existence of weed? Can we honestly say that such a substance is worth consideration, when all it merely seeks to achieve is idle distraction from the cruelty of our lives in this dreadfully ruined world?

Micolash: I see you do, in fact, smoke weed and are currently high.

Laurence: No, he is just like that.

Aldrich: He has a point though. Weed offers release from the horrors of this dawning age. It is simply a form of nepenthe for those who cannot see the truth.

Laurence: And what “truth” is that?

Aldrich: Figures the discount Catholic vicar wouldn’t know.

Laurence: BITCH? You are LITERALLY called a saint and cleric by your harem of gelatinous blobs.

Aldrich: And yet I still have more of a faithful following than you :)

Micolash, raising his hand: Can confirm! I ditched Laurence back in middle school. ALSO FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Shabriri, observing the olive in his martini: I wonder if I could get them to replace this with an eyeball…

Aldrich: So true bestie

Shabriri: I’m being serious.

Aldrich: So am I?

Shabriri: Fr? Slay? How do you feel about cataclysmic destruction to bring about world’s end and the rebirth of a new one from flames?

Aldrich: Replace “flames” with “flood” and you have my attention!

Shabriri: Ohmygod, Webster’s dictionary is saying that the primary meaning of “cataclysm” IS flood! We are already twinning!

Aldrich: HELLO?

*Aldrich and Shabriri squealing together like schoolgirls*

Allant:….wait…what if the cataclysm were fog-based?

Aldrich: Fog is just tangible water!!!

Allant, sobbing: At last I have found my people and can outlive the guilt over the numerous lives my sins have claimed in my demonic madness!

Laurence: Look, I may not be the most effective vicar…

*everyone turns to stare at him*

Laurence, sweating:….but I am fairly certain you don’t feel that much guilt, Allant…

Aldia: But alas, who can truly say what guilt is when all we are bound to is this mere—

Everyone: SHUT UP ALDIA

Laurence: Finally, at least we all agree that his inane ramblings are annoying!

*crickets*

Aldia: Fuck you, Laurence.

*Laurence gasps in offense and everyone else is dying laughing*

*at the end of the night, Allant and Aldia have fallen asleep*

Aldrich: Well, well…does anyone in this squad like to eat orphans?

Micolash: OOO, I ALMOST DID ONCE! They said NOT to eat the placenta but I may have snuck a few bites…hehe…

Shabriri: Sounds fun, Aldrich. I’d like to try it. I can start with Laurence, right?

Laurence: I literally despise all of you.

#DFHGSJHJAK THERE #ENTERTAINED? #ALL YOUR BLORBOS IN ONE BALL PIT LOL #god help me #laurence the first vicar #micolash host of the nightmare #shabriri #aldia dark souls 2 #king allant #aldrich devourer of gods #soulsborne #bloodborne #dark souls #demon’s souls #mutuals #asks #silly post