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margsld · 7 years

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Outlander Epi 3.04 Recap

Of Lost Things you think quite a bit about.

Toni Graphia wrote this highly anticipated episode - it's the favourite thus far of the original author, Diana Gabaldon. Again, this season is cramming a lot of details from the book and the additions and deletions are mostly good (don't get me started on Cheating Frank). It's bothering me a little that it jumps between times so often and making me OCD with my screencaps. Hold on tight. We are going on a bumpy ride.

Scotland 1968. Claire is still in Inverness hunting down her highland ginger biscuit like a Wight looking for Jon Snow. Bree and Roger are using it as a chance to flirt at every opportunity *ah young love.... as finding your loved one’s secret loved one is like adopting a puppy together. It takes commitment.

Fiona is not letting Bree get in the way of her giving Roger a coronary and stops by the researchers, to nourish them with her baked goods. We all want a Fiona Roger, you ungrateful oaf.

Claire pops up from the table shouting ‘Ginger Bingo’ (or is that 'Gingo'?) and shows them a list of Prisoner names from Ardsmuir. They are off again but it soon becomes a dead end. They head to Edinburgh for a last laugh, take the time to stir up the locals with their outrageous womanhood etc & to look at some mouldy ship logs as prisoners were usually transported to the Colonies. They should have asked Jamie's Ardsmuir cell mate for help.

It’s 1756 in Helwater, England. Jamie is living tough with a new name (Alex McKenzie) and with the Dunsaneys. He’s sulking because they won’t let him grow his hair longer than his shoulders but that mop will not be ruled. Lord Dunsaney has a quick word on their arrival back from a holiday in Italy, Molto Benne! He knows who Big Red is and suggests keeping it from his wife. I think it’s a ploy to keep the Hot Scot away from his wife for other reasons. *wink wink nudge

Roger has faked a broken down car just so he can see what other skills Bree has up her sleeve. After some Scottish boy noises, Bree takes over the mechanic-ing and spots the trouble straight away. Silly boy look, Rog. It was that sneaky distributor cap going all loose and now so was Roger’s feelings. Awwww. So romantic.

Geneva Dunsaney wakes and the devil says ‘Oh crap, she’s up’ as does half the Helwater staff. The stablehands draw short-straws to see which poor sod will be her ‘escort’ during her leisurely gallop in the woods. Jamie cops abuse from her and dutifully bites his tongue. Geneva’s exit is her sister Isobel’s cue to arrive just as Jamie is fantasising about kicking Geneva’s arse. She’d like a ticket to that event and front row please. Isobel is crushing on Jamie’s Chess buddy, Lord John Grey and naturally finds it appropriate to share this with Jamie. She is only human. Jamie is a lady whisperer.

Claire gets a call from her surgeon buddy Joe Abernethy. He’s sick of doing her workload and asks when she’ll be back in Boston instead of flunking around Scotland’s dusty Archives. Claire isn’t sure but encourages Joe to operate on her fave patient as a treat.

Helwater, 1757. The stablehands have all rallied and found Geneva a husband. They party for days. Mr Groom-to-be is that old that Geneva is stoicly trying not to vomit as he kisses her hand in farewell. They are to be married soon. Ick.

Geneva now has Jamie in her sights. She's like a sailor looking for land after being at sea for 27 months. She forces him to escort her on her daily horse ride and quickly puts the 'Bitch' in 'Bitch'. Jamie trieds to stand his ground but dang, she looks like Claire, no? Plus, lady whisperer..... Geneva is a brat and races her horse ahead, all the while laughing like a woman with a screw loose. Shortly after, Jamie hears her scream. He finds her unconscience on the ground and goes to help. He picks her up and she becomes animated again, laughing at her having tricked him. Disgusted, Big, Grumpy Red promptly dumps her face first, into a big slushy mud puddle and we all cheer like it’s a Queensland win at State of Origin. Geneva is a bit nuts though and embraces her impromptu mud mask. Chick logic. Life gives you lemons, you make a facial out of it, right, Ladies?

The handsomest redcoat in history, Lord John Grey, is visiting from London and we find them playing Chess in the Helwater gardens with Jamie. Who knew chess was an outdoor sport? Lord John swells with pride that Jamie’s report card is in and it’s glowing. Yayyy! *high fives. They are soon interrupted by Isobel, Hal (John's big bro), Hal’s ego and Geneva aka Mega Beyotch. After introductions are made, it’s clear to Gen-baby that Hal knows Alex McKenzie and not just from his horsey-skills. She's a moth to the flame that one. Of course it doesn't help when Alex aka Jamie aka can't this guy settle on one name, doesn't stop looking at his feet. Suspicious factor 50+.

Just a few days before the big nuptuals take place Geneva corners Alex and threatens to reveal his true identity to her mother, ensuring Jamie gets another stretch in HMS Ratfarm. To keep his secret, she demands he takes her maiden-head so that Lord Crusty McEllesmere doesn’t have that privilege. He tries to reason with her but she’s seen his backside in breeks and well Duh.

Jamie’s sex class has attracted one eager student. Professor Tight Breeks arrives and without hesitation performs Magic Mike’s striptease with the flair of a dead frog. That bum though is fiiiiiine! He tries to turn her off the job at hand *cough by showing her his back scars but she’s impervious. She’s seen that fuzzy butt peach for real and there is no letting this opportunity go. He’s patient and she’s nervous and for the first time we see her vulnerable side and her nipples. Jamie softens to her (no not that kind, he’s Scottish af) and starts to enjoy himself too. Good class, sir. Good class. I reckon that's the best wedding gift she'll get.

Condoms didn’t exist in 1757 so when Geneva next visits Helwater about 7 months into her marriage, it’s very obvious that the father of her bulging waistline is Jamie. He nearly has a conniption at the sight of her but keeps his cool because he’s Fraser. Jamie Fraser. Carry on, old chap.

Roger and Bree, kissing in a tree manse, K>I>S>S>I>N>G

Bree & Roger are discussing giving up the search for Jamie. Roger says feelings and so Bree grabs Professor Brown-Beard and smacks one on him. *Woot woot. He doesn’t want her to go back to Boston. #Broger

Nothings ever rosy for long in TV land and we find ourselves scurrying with Jamie to Ellesmere Estate. There is some big emergency with Geneva. She has gone into labour and all is not well. So of course a stable dude is just what she needs. When they arrive, Lord Crusty McTightjocks has started chucking his toys out of the cot. He has finally realised that Geneva was not a virgin when they married. Seriously? It took him a whole pregnancy to work out he’d forgotten to tap that? *smacks forehead Along with his toys, he threatens to kill the baby and Jamie arrives just in time to save the day by shooting Ellesmere, D.E.I.D. Noone knows how the baby survived the fall to the floor because we all just cried as Jamie was seeing his son for the first time. Awwww. Blood gushing nearby, nope, don't see it. Awwww, baby blinked at daddy.

The coroner found that Ellesmere died from severe arse-holeness and we all moved on. Well, he really ruled it as misadventure, due to stress. The stress of receiving a bullet at high speed probably. Just guessing. Lady Dunsaney thinks Jamie is pretty HAWT now. He saved her grandson and so he’s earned his ticket back to Sunny Scotland. Jamie chooses to stay though as he's wanting to see how this fathering business turns out.�� He tells Mrs D that Scotland sux right now so he’s going to hang aboot in H-water for a bit longer, thanks. PS>When’s payday?

Teaching your secret son to ride a horse like a boss is Jamie’s new hobby. Wee Willie is starting to resemble his daddy though and even though he lacks the flaming red hair, it’s the cock of his head and the way he rolls his R’s that is starting to cause suspicion. Even the neighbours are onto it. Jamie realises it’s time to go before people put two and two together so Sayonara English bitches.

Lord John arrives at Helwater just as Jamie is about to leave. Jamie asks him a favour; Would he look after Willie in his absence and in return LJG can have the use of his peachy playground. When Lord John comes back down to earth from shock, he announces he’s to marry Isobel Dunsaney and raise Willie as his own anyway. Jamie is pleased that all seems to be working out. What's with the handshake here? In the book it was a kiss and I wanted to see that. Tsk.Tsk. At least give the man a big hug....

Willie is distraught at Mac leaving and goes to visit him in his room. PS. The security and supervision is terrible in this house, it’s a wonder anyone is alive. He interrupts Jamie lighting Stinking Papist candles and wants to join his fire party. Jamie explains he’s lighting them to remember all the people he’s missing or has lost, including his Wife. He gives Wee Willie McCutey a hand-carved snake with his name on it to remember Mac by. He wants to give Mac something in return so he'll remember Willie too but *sob Big Red will never forget *sob him *sob.

Things get a bit blurry here and tear ducts need to recover. When it comes to saying goodbye we parallel bounce between times.Bree and Claire are also giving up the search and heading home to Boston while Jamie is leaving Helwater for Lallybroch. Pause. Just pause here. Can't we have two more episodes with wee Willie? No? *grunts

Can we just have one happy ending ffs? Is it Monday yet?

The End.

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