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#HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i
pepprs
·
7 months
Text
genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim
#purrs
#delete later
#covid19
#i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill /
#immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in
#any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy
#for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the
#throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more)
#disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in
#ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and
#healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to
#school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist
#anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to
#access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i
#HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i
#need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have
#that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way
#it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator.
#* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear
#for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in
#part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I
#think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.
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