#I didn’t queue this for once it rlly is just 4 am rn as I type this

[rosenallies]

Would you do 21 for alternate breakup au😅

Gonna combine these two just bc I want to so sorry to whomever requested 14 and maybe didn’t have my most depressing au in mind butttt I’m feeling hmm some type of way rn and I need to project my emotions. Very sorry for that very very sorry </3

Tw// talk of sh, relapsing…writing this kinda rlly made me cry so pls be careful

14. “I don’t want you to be alone right now.”

21. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

——

Rosé rested his forehead on the cool wood of the door, jiggling the knob once more to see if the door would budge. “Nali, baby, please open the door, please.”

He tried again and again, the other side of the door silent, the knob unmoving. His heart thumped in his chest, growing desperate as he pleaded. “Please.”

Moments later, the lock clicked undone, the door opening slowly, revealing a disheveled looking Denali, his eyes red rimmed and wet, lip bleeding like he’d been biting it. “I’m sorry,” he whimpered, “I’ll be okay, you can go. I don’t want you to be late to dinner with your friend.”

“Honey,” he sighed, shaking his head, “I cancelled hours ago, I don’t want you to be alone right now.”

Guilt squeezed Denali’s insides, making him ache from the inside out, spreading through him like a wildfire. “Oh. Okay.”

“Can we go sit and talk, please?”

Denali nodded, anxiety clawing at his throat as Rosé led him to the couch, keeping their hands linked together as they sat.

“Baby, what’s going on? Are you having a hard time lately?”

Shrugging, Denali stared at the carpet. “I don’t know, I guess. I’ve just been really tired.”

“Is there something you’re not telling me? Baby, have you-?”

Instinctively, Denali snatched his hand away from Rosé. “No!” He replied defensively, “I-I haven’t!”

“You can tell me,” Rosé promised, keeping his voice as even as he possibly could, even though panic was attempting to steal his breath. He knew that sometimes relapses happened but it had been 6 months since Denali last hurt himself; he hoped they’d at least gotten over that hurdle. “I won’t be mad, honey, I promise. Just let me see. Please.”

Denali cried, hiccuping with fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he clutched onto the extra fabric of his sweatpants just to have something to do with his hands. “I’m so sorry, please don’t be angry with me, please!”

“Baby, my love, I’m not angry with you at all. I promise, I would never be angry at you for that. Can I please see so I can see if you need to see a doctor?”

“I don’t,” he said softly, sniffling, “I don’t need to see a doctor, they’re not as bad as they were before-“

“Okay,” Rosé nodded, “can you just let me check, honey? Please?”

Gingerly, he handed over his arm, the same side Rosé had just been holding, letting him carefully roll up his sleeve. “I’m sorry,” Denali whispered, hanging his head in shame as Rosé’s eyes scanned over the cuts on his arm. They were all superficial but that didn’t make Rosé feel any better about it, his stomach still churned painfully at the sight.

“Oh sweet boy,” he breathed, “you poor thing. Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way again?”

“I didn’t want you to be angry with me. I feel like I’ve been doing so good and I ruined it. Twice now, two days in a row.”

Rosé shifted, grabbing onto both of Denali’s hands, kissing the back of each. “I would never ever be angry at you for this. It breaks my heart but I could never be mad at you.”

“I got in trouble when I did it when I was a teenager and got in even worse trouble when I screwed up,” he said.

“It’s not a screw up, baby, it’s a relapse and it happens. It’s a part of recovery sometimes, right? We’ll get through it and I’ll be right here, no matter what.”

“Okay,” he muttered, pressing himself close to Rosé and breathing him in, Rosé playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Honey, I wanna bandage you up just to make sure everything stays clean but after can we do something to help you feel a bit better this evening? Maybe we could have a movie night and build a fort in the living room? Or we could go for a drive and listen to music? We can just head to bed early and cuddle? It’s up to you, lovely.”

“Can we do a movie night?” Denali sniffed, “and can we watch ‘Up’?”

Rosé smiled to himself, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. “Anything you want.”

With gentle hands, Rosé bandaged Denali’s injuries while Denali watched intently, trying not to cry. He kissed him and rolled his sweater sleeve back down when he was finished, the small gesture making Denali’s body relax with comfort.

“All done, baby, thank you for letting me help you,” he said sincerely, helping Denali back up, “ready for our movie night?”

“Yeah. Are you sure you’re not upset with me though?”

Rosé pulled him close gently, kissing his forehead. “Baby, I’m not upset with you. I absolutely hate that you felt like you had to hurt yourself and I’m not going to say it’s okay, but I’m not mad at you. Tomorrow we’re going to call your therapist together and try to get an earlier appointment, and we’re gonna get through it. Together, okay?”

Throwing his arms around Rosé’s neck, Denali hugged him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” he said softly into Denali’s hair.

#honestly might delete this in the morning #or when I wake up whenever that will be #I didn’t queue this for once it rlly is just 4 am rn as I type this #inwanna Scream 🫢🫢🫢 #I cannot Sleep #pls ignore me I’m literally delusional rn I’m so tired #alternate breakup au

[guktwt]

love yourself tour experience! ♡  japan and singapore

hi! so i’ve been wanting to make a post like this for a while on twitter but i hate twitter rn so here i am. this january i was blessed with the opportunity to attend love yourself in nagoya (japan) and singapore and honestly? it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i wanted to share my experience because really, concerts in japan and everywhere are else are so different, right from ticketing and the show itself. i thought you guys would find it interesting? and also i need to let this out ahhh keeping to myself is not going to do me any good :( anyways, i hope you find this post somewhat entertaining 💞

under the cut because this got really long sorry 

♡ love yourself in nagoya ♡

first of all, tickets. getting concert tickets (and any ticket, really) in japan is tricky. most kpop groups in japan have a fanclub and if you’re a member, you get the benefit of applying for tickets first (like a presale!). did i say apply? yes i did. in japan, ticketing for concerts adopts a lottery system for presale and general sales usually a month later. 

for presale through fc, you’d have to apply for a lottery on a website and wait to find out if you win or not. you need a fc membership (paid), which also needs you to have a japanese phone number and address in order to apply. and you HAVE to pay your presale tickets in japan because you need to pay them in a convenient store. complicated, i know. FC presale tickets usually give the best seats. there’s no gurantee, but that’s usually the case. fortunately for me, i have a cousin residing in japan to help me with the address (you really need it, they’re going to ship you your membership card) and i found someone on twitter to help me make the payment. if you a apply for lottery, there’s no guarantee you’ll win. so you can apply as many times as you want with a maximum of 2 tickets for each shows. i think i used up all of my luck with this one [sobs]. FC presales usually have more than one round lotteries. 

general sales is much simpler. i dont have enough experience to know the details but it’s usually up on japanese ticketing websites and can use credit cards? dont know if foreign ccs are accepted though. 

oh and all tickets for all sections cost the same!!! so doesn’t matter if you get the best view or worst it’s all equal 

/if you have more questions about this don’t hesitate to send me an ask i don’t know much but i’ve read a lot about it/

you can’t know your seat until a week (or a month? idk) before the concert, when it’s time for you to print your tickets at the same convenient store (yes you have to print them and you can only do it once so don’t lose the damn thing!!). my seat was really good!!! i didn’t get floor sadly but my section was right in front of the extended stage so i got a great view. 

i arrived in nagoya a day before the concert (i spent a week in tokyo beforehand) and queued for merch!!! it was winter so it wasn’t hot at all and the japanese really know how to line up. everything is so organized like??? i was so amazed. i spent a good 4 hours queueing before getting my items and even then a lot of the things i wanted were sold out quickly :( 

and then comes the concert day!!!! basically since it was all seating tickets i didn’t have to worry about queueing for entry but i did queue for merch again,,,, from 4 am. let me tell you how devoted people are there when it comes to queueing. some actually stayed from the afternoon? and it was winter. crazy. 

i entered the dome an hour before the show started and the staff were so kind and helpful whenever i asked for help (i couldn’t find my seat). and everyone around is so kind and warm :( i didn’t really interact with a lot of people due to the language barrier but they’re so . polite. 

and moving on to the show!!!!!! japan has strict rules about recording so i couldn’t do any of that [:(] but honestly it just made me enjoy everything better. of course they were amazing on stage and their japanese were so cute :( i still can’t get over nagoya, nekkoya my pure babies!!! 

and uh . taehyung. so damn fine. can’t believe i was part of the first people to see him reveal his blue hair. and i can’t stress this enough but his gaze when he looks at the audience... i felt the love and fondness in his eyes i wanted to CRY. 

and jimin!!! was so clingy towards joon the whole night ugh we love a baby koala. and jungkook :( he introduced himself as kookoo im so fucking sad. the second he said kookoo desu i was ready to give up my firstborn for him. 

hoseok was a fucking machine. he’s so charismatic on stage i can’t handle him. and seokjin was full on crackhead mode :( we stan a whole legend i love love him so much. my mans yoongi was so?? small yet not??? i wanna put him in my pocket. my mans joon was looking like a whole snacc. all legs and dimples.  

honestly what struck me the most was how everyone gave seokjin a standing ovation and applause after epiphany???? that was my first time seeing something like that and i just started tearing up because it was so beautiful. people were so respectful they didn’t scream or shout when bangtan were doing their ending ments. the fanchants were absolutely on point!!! whenever bangtan bowed i actually spotted some people in my section bowing in return and i was !!!! oh my god 

but on another note you’d think that japanese fans are quiet during shows but theyre really not. they’re loud as hell too they just know when to shut up and listen and i think that’s beautiful. 

the whole thing passed by really quickly. i felt hollow and empty by the time it ended but i have to say that it was the most relaxing and chill concert experience i’ve ever had. it just feels so different than my previous concerts. the only downside about it is the no recording part (i could’ve been sneaky but staff was right in front of my section) i guess. but without worrying about my phone i got to watch them perform. like actually watch them. it felt euphoric. 

♡ love yourself in singapore ♡

ah. 

so for singapore, i got cat 1 purple 2 tickets at first. but because me and my friend wanted yellow initially, we managed to find someone who wanted to trade with us. 

i arrived at the venue at 6 am because i had to distribute banners and fans for my fan support. here’s a pic of them!!!! 

basically for standing ticket holders we were required to queue by 12:30 pm and fortunately my qn got the indoor holding area so i didn’t stay under the heat for long. we started moving to the venue at around 3 or 4 pm even thought they said it would be 2:30 pm. because my qn was large by the time i got inside all the good spots were already taken :( i ended up at the very back sigh and we had to wait for another 2-3 hours before the show starts. it was hot and everyone was thirsty. some people in the pit wanted to sit down but some also stood up so it was rlly cramped :/ 

everyone was hyped tho even when mvs were played. and then when the lights dimmed and the show finally started was where things got really,,, rowdy. when the first beat of idol played everyone pushed forward??? the amount of times i got squished and elbowed and pushed aside... man it was hectic. if you’re claustrophobic please do NOT go for standing in concerts. 

but that aside of course it was amazing loud and crazy. there were accidents here and there. at one point several people actually fell down but everyone helped everyone up. some people got mad and started yelling and others but that’s understandable. it was hot and cramped of course you’d get cranky. 

funny story i got my period two hours before the show and basically bled through my vagina for 3 hours as i watched 7 fine men go off on stage. 

but anyways. 

me and my friend managed to finesse our way from the back row to the third row because we’re amazing. no we did not push if you were there the pit was always moving so we just. squeezed through i guess. i was so fucking tired but when so what came on i forgot that my pants were like fucking soaked and just jammed the fuck out with everyone. they got really close to my section during this and i cant believe i got to see taejin dance together like clubbing buddies. jin is so goofy!!!!!! 

oh but fuck you guys jimin up close is ethereal. he looks so fucking unreal i couldn’t keep my eyes off of him throughout the whole thing. none of the pictures can ever do his beauty justice. he’s so fucking beautiful and i was starstruck. and he sang promise!!! i fucking couldn’t believe he did it. one word to describe him is definitely godly. 

namjoon was so hyped and loud too :( gosh he’s so adorable. hoseok looked crazy beautiful up close too. his aura.... fucking amazing. YOONGI ALSO MADE THE CUTEST EXPRESSION AFTER JIMIN SANG PROMISE I SQEUALED. gosh i was actually really close despite not getting barricade i feel like crying thinking about it now. 

jungkook went so close to my section during so what i got a good fancam of him that i can’t stop watching :( jimin slipped during dna my poor baby but he just laughed it off :(((( 

they all looked prettier irl tbh. they have such nice skin??? and all that shit about jimin being short... well guess what fuckers he’s all LEGS. man. i think i left that stadium as a jimin stan. 

taehyung’s so hot i wanna die n i want the whole of rapline to spit on me thx.

fun times aside the pit is hell. luckily the staff were responsible and gave us drinks after each set of performances. and everyone kind of just understood each other. whenever someone looked like they were about to faint people asked if they were okay. we helped each other and gave each other drinks. at one point during the show i crouched down because i was exhausted and someone asked if i was okay or if i wanted some candy. 

hellish experiences aside, there’s a mutual understanding between everyone in the pit. like, we’re in this together. i’m sweaty and thirsty and tired but i’m here for one thing and so is everyone else. it’s a good feeling. i mean, yeah, i was drenched in sweat and water but. it’s a good feeling. here are some pics!!!! (i have more videos bu t i cba to tak e screenshots ajsjs sorry)

also met some of my twitter mutuals <3 love u guys 

perhaps this is it for my experience post? yeah you can see how different nagoya and singapore were. it was exciting to be able to experience them both. now back to my post concert depression and withdrawal :(

#bts #love yourself tour #bts concert #love yourself in singapore #love yourself in nagoya #mine #m: text