#I don't normally personal blog here but I don't have queer friends irl to talk to about this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

triple-a-aro · 2 months

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thanks for turning on anon asks!! i dont want to get this linked back to my actual account where i try to keep things pretty discourse-free. what i wanted to say is that i really get where yr coming from with the falling into transmasc vs transfem thing??? i find myself going oh no thats a trans woman so shes not gonna like me a lot and then i feel really guilty abt it so its good to know that other transandro bloggers are aware of that whole thing. how do you keep yrself from falling into those thinking patterns?

No problem at all, anon! I understand that this can be a topic that you don't necessarily want. attention. on you. Perfectly valid to keep yourself safe.

This touches on something that I've been realizing more often for myself, though! When you are educating yourself on topics such as transandrophobia, the loud and vocal minority of transandrophobes are likely to speak up in comments and replies of posts doing so, which makes it seem like they're everywhere. Much like vocal transphobes, we must remember that this is a minority; most people may not have even heard of transandrophobia, but I'm sure they'd agree that "trans men experience oppression for being trans men that other trans people don't experience". Because that's common sense.

The other reason I find myself falling into that pattern is the centering of trans women in these transandrophobia discussions. A lot of it ends up with people arguing if transmisogyny is worse or not, and I think that misses the entire point. But if you see these transandrophobes going on and on about trans women having it worse (and some of those people being trans women themselves who are lashing out for whichever reason), you're going to start connecting transandrophobia and trans women.

Which sucks. It really fucking does. The brain is equipped to notice patterns, and it's going to emphasize in accordance to how transandrophobes emphasize.

So how do I personally stop this from happening?

I follow trans women. Feels like a no-brainer, right? But recently I realized I was not following any trans education that was run by trans women, mostly because I had been scared of researching into the blogs themselves in case I found bigotry towards trans men, and I am not in the business of digital self-harm. If anyone has any good blogs feel free to drop them here, and I'll reblog!

If I feel myself getting incensed, I step back If you find yourself getting really mad, step back and ask yourself: - Where is this anger coming from? (At transphobia or has it been construed somehow?) - Where is this anger directed? (At transandrophobes, or at trans women?) - Who has posted this? (TERF psyops do exist, and if a blog is posting inflammatory content, they might be baiting you) - Is this user in the same circle as other transandrophobes? (There was a ring of particularly nasty transandrophobes that I blocked for mocking trans men and suggesting corrective sexual assault, and I have not found as many since)

Go to irl queer spaces. While this is not going to be a solution for everyone, I find stepping offline and talking to irl trans women is beneficial. Make friends with trans people! This discourse is so terminally online, and the only reason I participate in it is because I do what I can irl and therefore my only contribution is not arguing over discourse.

I also interact with other trans men who are normal about trans women as well. I hope this helps! Media literacy is good to practice, and I'm proud of you for owning up to something very hard, anon.

If we have any other suggestions, pop 'em down in the replies or reblogs!

#ask #anon #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #<- because the constant martyring of trans women the way that transandrophobes do it is. exactly that #transphobia

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tellywoodtrash · 2 years

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Hi TT.

I'm the anon who came out to you. I briefly considered calling myself the queer anon but I think some people might take offense with that and I'm terrified of using pronouns or even an initial incase it can be traced back to me somehow. So I'm just going to call myself love if that's ok.

Sooo hi. Love here. I need someone to talk to again and my friend group basically abandoned me. I didn't even get to share who I am. All they needed to know was that I support the LGBTQ community and suddenly they " don't even know who I am". It's funny because they're right. They don't know who I am. No one does. And it's just so hard to live like this. I'm constantly terrified of being outed. I use vpns and I'm always on incognito mode but I'm also deleting my browser history 5 times a day just in case I missed something. I don't have anyone to talk to so it's super lonely. And what really sucks is that all of these changes happened just for me. No one around me has any idea that anything is going on. We go about every day just talking about things we normally used to talk about. It's just really frustrating to always have to pretend to be something I'm not. And to act like my life hasn't completely changed.

I just really wish I had someone special. To confide in. To seek confront from. To talk about the things that I actually love. Someone who would just accept me for who I am.

I don't really know what I'm hoping to get out of this message and I'm really sorry for rambling on. I just needed someone to talk to.

Thanks for always being supportive and super nice about everything.

Love

Hi Love!

I'm sorry that your friend group isn't fulfilling their purpose. It's neither their fault nor your fault, really. That's just life. We grow into different people and then the older parts of our life no longer fit into the new mosaic that we are. That doesn't mean that the time you spent with them till now wasn't meaningful. It is, and in a lot of ways, made you the person you are. But now, you're growing in a different direction, and that's okay.

I'd like to suggest you make more online friends. As one of the "olds", I've been on the internet since I was a pre-teen and made many a meaningful friendship on the internet; friendships that I have maintained to this day, 2 decades later. Some I've had the opportunity to meet in real life, some not yet, and some I know I shall not meet ever, due to the circumstances of life. But these people have been there for me through literally thick and thin and have always been a comforting presence who add value to my life. They've accepted the parts of me that I don't feel comfortable sharing with the IRL people in my life. Some of these girls I met right here on this blog, and they've grown into indispensable parts of my life. You just need to put bits of your authentic self out there, and reach out to the people who seem cool, and go on from there. Of course, all the safety rules matter (talk without exchanging personal details for the first few times, etc.), but this could be the start of a friendship that changes your life. Their distance from your real life also means that they'll be more supportive of you, and less torn about the other peer members and that kinda nonsense. So give it a try; find online spaces that you feel comfortable in, and reach out to the people you vibe with. I hope you find your tribe, sooner than later!

Sending you lots of love and hugs!!!!!!!!

#big sister tt gives life advice #tt answers

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pupswitch · 6 months

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This is an entirely NSFW blog, minors and ageless bios will be blocked

I should make a pinned post, so here goes

Call me: Buchanan/Buck, good boy, princess, or anything that fucks with gendered terms, any pronouns, especially neos

I am: A trans, queer, futch, autistic person. My identity is as fluid as everything else about me, including the genders I'm attracted to and the roles I prefer. Have questions about this? Genuinely, don't be afraid to ask. I'm always happy to share my experiences

Send me [Asks]: Normal asks, horny asks (check limits first), fantasies, questions about limits, asks about my girlfriend (pretty please, I love talking about her so much), asks about anything about me that confuses you (genuinely! I'm always happy to explain these things)

Send me [DMs]: Just be a normal person here. If you want to be friends and chat about anything (including horny stuff), hmu, but remember that I'm a human too

Love: Petplay, bondage [giving], pegging [giving], somno, cosplay, light cnc [giving], praise, collars, shibari, blood, knives, leather, cages, monsters, wings, furries

Hate: Any toilet stuff, hardcore cnc and rape fantasies, egg stuff, impregnation

If you think you know me IRL, no you don't

#pinned post #limits #nsft

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papermonkeyism · 3 years

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You're a girl. End of story. No need to make a huge deal about it. Like fuck i'm a tomboy you don't see me making this huge deal about if i'm actually some weird chimera. You seem nice enough but this unfortunately ongoing trenderism that's been happening since the net started growing more popular (and accessible to kids) is legit harmful to real lgbt people. Actual trans people don't "shrug" they just know they are even when it takes them a while. I'll never use "they' pronouns.

Firstly, I don't consider myself trans, and have never referred to myself as such. I am quite content inhabiting my flesh vessel. I just do not have strong feeling of having a gender, and that is fine.

Nonbinary people aren't some "weird chimeras", they're just normal people. Although I suppose there must be people who do, in fact, have chimerism who are also nonbinary, but that would be just statistics. There's over seven billion people, even once-in-a-million chances do start to accumulate with numbers like that.

I was just wondering "out loud" how I, personally, felt about my own gender. I do not feel much of a connection to society's expectations on what my life should be based on the reproductive equipment my flesh vessel came equipped with. I have no use for them.

(I also do have a beard. It is also naturally grown, and I like that it exists.)

You're the one who came out of her way to type a stinky anon message to some online stranger making a big deal out of me wondering wether I'd buy a shirt or not.

Sex isn't binary, it's a spectrum with bimodal distribution, and same goes for gender. We aren't machines made with perfect ones and zeroes, we are biological beings made of flesh, hormones and proteins and such.

It is okay to wonder. It is okay to question. It's not wrong to not know for 100% certainty what our identities are at all times. It is fine to just exist.

Having many trans and nonbinary friends IRL myself has actually been really freeing, as I don't have to force myself to comform to strangers' perception and can freely just exist however I feel like in their company, with no need to pretend appearances. It's nice.

Also, secondly, I do not wish to be called a girl. I am 34 years old (it's in my blog header, not a secret), quite content with my age, and I do not wish to be talked down like that. Being called a child feels kinda insulting to me, at this point in life.

I'm queer, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You can just block me and go on with your life like a mature person with a life.

(I did buy that shirt, and also a similar one in black. They are very nice shirts!)

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