#I know I mentioned tht in th response itself but U Know!

[angeltrapz]

SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!

thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33

!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫

I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)

after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)

so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.

another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)

I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.

as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.

another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.

OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.

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OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺

like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.

he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.

#just if anyones curious yes I am also autistic #I know I mentioned tht in th response itself but U Know! #saw #adam #lawrence #eric #mallick #asks #god I love getting asks frm u u Understand me #tysm!!!! I appreciate it a whole lot things have been sort of rough #oh another note I kind of write adam at least w a lot of my mannerisms/experiences #it's what I know lol

[angeltrapz]

u mentioned them in th ask abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic so I’d honestly love 2 hear more on ur thoughts abt how Lawrence n Mallick would interact there! whether in a polycule sense or a Just Friends sense ^_^

thank u!! yeye I wld love 2 talk abt that!! (I hope yr feeling a bit better today also!! just wanted 2 add tht + THANK U fr the super sweet comment abt my earlier family dynamic response <3)

I'm personally writing this on th assumption tht Mallick + Lawrence are AT LEAST dating Adam + Eric, so its still within th polycule sense!

I think, much like he does with Adam, Daniel wld get along GREAT w Mallick!! I like 2 think tht they have very similar senses of humour + their snark levels r pretty evenly matched. Eric doesn't ever say as much, but he LOVES 2 hear thm go back n forth, ESP when Adam joins in - its just like. his 2 weird boyfriends bonding w his kid in a way tht has them all laughing n in high spirits n enjoying each other's company and honestly? Eric lives fr little moments like that! he loves getting 2 hear his living room filled w laughter and love and light like tht. sometimes he'll just lean against Art's shoulder while he's helping him cook dinner n listen to th three of them in the living room, voices carrying over th bg noise of th TV, n he'll close his eyes and sigh. it means SO MUCH 2 Eric to have his partners get along so well w his son.

I agree w what u said when I asked abt Adam/Mallick/Lawrence - tht Lawrence will often act affectionately disgruntled when his bfs r engaging in Shenanigans/just in general. so like he'll be reclined on th couch w a book or maybe he'll be in th kitchen helping Eric and/or Art, n he's sighing n shaking his head but he's smiling so wide it kind of hurts bc this is a family. this is smth he hasn't rly experienced b4 - Diana is his whole world, his sunshine n he loves her more than anything, but he didn't have this w Alison. as I've seen it mentioned b4, they were just playing house, grasping like straws at th hollow replication of the so-called suburban American dream, and its like. Lawrence doesn't truly grasp th gravity of tht statement until he's standing in the kitchen n listening to Adam Mallick n Daniel talking and laughing and sometimes infodumping back n forth. he doesn't realize what he's been yearning for until he takes over watching th pot boiling on th stove so Art can make his pasta sauce, until Eric comes up behind him n wraps his arms around his middle n rests his cheek against his back for a little bit. this is all Lawrence has ever truly wanted n I know I said tht w Eric too, but like. this is Lawrence's family, just as much as Diana is. n he like has to take a quick moment, set th wooden spoon down he's using 2 stir th pot w the pasta itself in it n just breathe. n Eric just Gets It, y'know? like Lawrence doesn't even have to say a word 2 know he's understood n its just. he's so so happy, for all his (entirely feigned, this man has such a big heart) exasperation n sighing. he loves these ppl. this is his family.

smth tht is very important 2 Lawrence regarding Daniel is tht he makes sure they know he's there fr them. u've mentioned this b4 also, but Lawrence has a very unique understanding of what Eric went thru as a parent who had a child tht was Also endangered by Jigsaw, n as such also has tht unique understanding of helping his child cope w what she went thru during her Own experience. he makes a point to sort of make himself available fr Daniel like tht bc yes they aren't Diana, and yes Daniel isn't his kid, but he still Cares abt them + is more than willing 2 pass on some of th stuff he's learned while helping Diana cope w her own experience (he's very careful abt this, bc he doesn't want 2 like. take tht role frm Eric, esp when he's doing much better in his recovery. but they've had talks abt tht b4 n Eric makes it very clear tht its okay). I think it takes Daniel a lil bit 2 approach him on their own - not bc they don't trust him or bc they think he's intimidating - but once they do, its very beneficial fr both of them tbh? even if they're not discussing the Nerve Gas House/Bathroom/what have u its a rly nice thing fr them to just sit together n talk.

Lawrence, like Art, is a good listener but on th flip side: Daniel tends 2 look to him fr a solution, or at least smth he can do to like. take his mind off of it fr a bit. a good avenue of this is tht Daniel has a mild interest in th medical field, so he often likes listening 2 whatever Lawrence is willing 2 tell him abt on tht front! n its still smth Lawrence is very passionate abt (he DID return to working in th hospital eventually, after all), so he honestly rly enjoys getting to talk abt it every now n then! so like sometimes Eric will come home frm work n see Adam sat on th couch next to Art + with Mallick's head resting against his thigh while he plays w his hair, n Lawrence n Daniel are spread out on th floor deep in discussion abt what Lawrence had done at work tht day/a topic Daniel had specifically requested, sitting diagonally across frm each other w their feet touching while they roll a ball back n forth bc Daniel focuses easier when they've got smth to fidget w and its just like. this synchronicity. shared heartbeats n breath n space. they've never belonged anywhere more than they all do right here, in this moment, together.

and it's so easy, like they've never done any different. like they've known each other for years and years and have always been this unit, have always been AdamEricArtMallickLawrence + Daniel. n tht is their family. that is their special brand of love and kindness and understanding. tht is how they cherish their lives, whether or not John would deem it the "right" way - who the fuck cares? they're happy! they're so blissfully domestically overwhelmingly happy and there is more than enough love 2 go around n THAT is what I'm here 4. they couldn't find the family they so desperately sought after so they MADE one!!! I could go on abt that fr hours!!! its the togetherness the unconditional love the hand-in-hand shoulder-to-shoulder of it all!!! (which is, of course, only made BETTER by th connectedness and understanding of trans ppl w other trans ppl + their supportive partners/parents (in Daniel's case)!! I'm losing it!!!)

ANYWAY I had way more thoughts abt this than I thought I did hfjdkskdk thank u so so much!!

#saw #eric #adam #art #daniel #mallick #lawrence #found family!!!! tht's th name of th game!!! #asks #also hi I'm gonna work on tht masterpost a lil bit later!! #ty again fr th ask beloved mutual s4w 💖