#I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area

[chisatowo]

Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun

#rat rambles #^ just finished a video essay abt trans stuff and is having a Moment™ #Im ok just kinda emotional #and filled with rage abt everything ever but yknow when am I not #I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area #if theres one close enough maybe I could start vollenteering? idk #Im just anxious abt not being considered queer enough yknow the usual sorts dhndhdjhdjd #but honestly its more so abt my lesbianism since I have a very complicated relationship with ulit #like it makes me feel like if I bring up my acearo identity it makes my lesbianism less ~real~ somehow #like idk I wanna meet other queer ppl irl and I want more queer friends and I wanna be able to experiment with stuff #but idk why Im so scared abt the idea of having to explain myself #I know ppl probably wont care but ig Im just scared that if other queer ppl reject me then Ill have nowhere to go #or maybe itd go great and I could get a girlfriend like fuck man thats the problem xhdkgsksh #it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying #Ive been so lonely and fuck man I dont trust myself to not let myself get trampled #sorry this got real personal real fast dhdkgdkdh again Im ok just emotional #now that I brought up the girlfriend thing tho I am going to be having gay thoughts while I shower so oops dhkdhkdh #idk Im still so unsure abt how I feel abt dating no romantic attraction asside like #again Ive never been able to experiment? and I also just dont know if theres anyone Id be willing to date in practice #like it might just be lonliness but it also could be me forming a stronger sense of self and better existing outside of relationships #and as such feeling more comfortable abt the idea of having more deep relationships with ppl even outside of dating and such #but again its all theoretical rn 😔 #anyways I need to shower bro its so late #rat vents