#I will never try thai chi or whatever that was again

[rat-presenting]

Cis people with deadnames are either some of the chillest, coolest people you know or the guy from your old job who did coke with the teenagers on staff to align their chakras and says with a straight face nobody is worthy of his inner thoughts so he never shares them.

#I could write. a book on the shit that guy pulled before management fired him #I’m paraphrasing but you get it. #no hate if that’s your thing but I draw the line at making your coworkers listen to your weird religion just because you’re the director #it got to a point that we would start him on something just to gawk and make fun of him later in the staff rooms #like. “Jesus was a Buddha and also a dream warrior and all the ancient Egyptian gods were real and came to me in my dreams” #“now thrust to align your coochie energies” #I will never try thai chi or whatever that was again #textpost

[shaunstoffer]

I left the school I worked at in Vietnam to start a new journey backpacking Japan, visiting my family in Singapore, and to live and teach in Taiwan. I didn’t dislike Vietnam but couldn’t get past some of the cons that made me not want to extend my stay past my fifteen months of living in Ho Chi Minh City.

Some of the things I do and don’t miss about living in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam:

The corruption: My temporary residence card was a piece of crap to begin with. It cost me well over $100 and was simply a cheap quality business card that had my photo laid on top and laminated. The seal was uneven and already breaking after just a few weeks in my wallet. So, I tried to double laminate it like a stubborn fool only for it to get bizarrely stuck in the laminator and come out looking like this. As a result, I tried several different ways to leave Vietnam from trying to purchase an exit visa, paying a bribe, and hiring a man who specialized in immigration issues such as this. In the end, the only method that worked was ironically getting help from a friend’s, whose dog I was fostering, cousin who worked for immigration. He simply met me at the airport, talked to immigration for maybe one minute, and waved me through hundreds of people queued in immigration and security. Literally he instructed me to go to the staff lines, which were empty, while hundreds of people waited in the regular lines. Each employee would look at me confused, I’d point to him, he’d give a thumbs up and a nod, and they would wave me through without a second thought. It was the most impressive thing I’ve seen in a long time.The pollution: My neighborhood in district seven was among the cleanest in Ho Chi Minh City, which isn’t saying much frankly, but I still never got used to waking up and seeing smog that would conceal the sky. I ended up getting a Vietnam “cough”, something a lot of expats initially develop from the exposure to pollution and are left with no choice but to either get used to it or leave. I was missing fresh clean air and nature more than I ever imagined to the point that every holiday I took I would go somewhere with mountains or beaches or both. Fresh air is something I’ll never take for granted again. The flooding: There’s nothing more comical than watching a horde of people with their feet on the panhandles of their bikes, going a kilometer an hour, and doing everything in their power not to come to a complete stop as that would cause them to have to put their leg, sometimes thigh deep or more, in the dirty flood waters that have nowhere to go due to the poor sewage system which is regularly clogged by locals uncaringly sweeping their into the drains. It was also unpleasant to be driving to work or the gym and experience a mild drizzle turn into a full on flash flood within five minutes. Many people wear heavy raincoats while driving, as umbrellas aren’t rational, even when walking due to the strong winds. However, people typically still bring an extra outfit in their bag or wear shorts and flip flops to avoid being stuck in wet clothes the entire day.

My students:My neighborhood, Phu My Hung:An unfortunate quick stop to Singapore: I reluctantly took a trip to see my mom and her side of the family in Singapore for my birthday prior to going on a three week holiday to Japan. I was fighting a serious case of homesickness and had contemplated going back home for my holiday instead of Japan. However, after spending three days with my family I couldn’t wait to say goodbye and move on to the next adventure. Aside from a nice birthday dinner and some much appreciated birthday gifts, I was all but forgotten. No one wanted to go out to eat, I ended up getting sick again, and every conversation went to gossiping about people or questioning my every life action. “What are you going to do after you’re done teaching?” “How are you qualified to teach social studies?” “What’s this? Why are you growing a beard?” “If you don’t like it you can go eat somewhere else!” It’s been a long time since I’ve been around people who made me feel so alone and small and I attribute my coldness and lack of trust to my undesired experiences and interactions with a fair amount of my family. To them it’s normal, to me it’s something I would never tolerate from any other persons. I chalk it up to different cultures but also to a lack of understanding from both sides of my family. I’ve never been understood and people can seldom relate to me, I ultimately think it attests for a lot of my loner mentality and lack of emotions.

Fair warning Singapore is a fun place but definitely strict when it comes to drugs. If you want a party beyond alcohol, don’t come to Singapore or try your luck in Geylang.The view from my grandmother’s apartment in Braddell Place.Six different currencies I’ve managed to collect overtime. Thai baht, US dollars, Japanese yen, Malaysian ringgit, Singaporean dollars, and Vietnamese dong. (From left to right, top to bottom.)Osaka Food Market: The seafood market was easily the best and my favorite out of the three I visited in Japan. Some of my favorites of the foods I tried were Kobe beefsteak, raw sea urchins, and fresh fire-roasted scallops.

Osaka’s Streets: Osaka is absurdly clean and people follow every traffic rule there is. No one j-walks, no one loiters, and everybody is helpful and courteous despite the language barrier. In Japanese culture it is rude to stare and common courtesy is expected such as holding the door out for someone, allowing someone in a hurry to pass you by, and to greet and thank customers and patrons habitually. That being said, a lot of Japanese will still see foreigners as outsiders, especially if they do not speak Japanese. Meaning just because they are polite to you does not necessarily mean they care or want to know about you.

My regular traditional Japanese Food: Sushi and dumplings.A Guilty Pleasure: I go to a McDonalds in every country I visit because it’s always a little different from the menu to the seating. Japanese McDonalds have bacon lettuce burgers, teriyaki chicken fillets, and double beef and egg burgers for example.Vending Machines: Vending machines are sprawled out everywhere, literally every block has one. From soda to coffee to beer and even ice cream. There are very few things, especially beverages that you can’t find in vending machines in Japan.

Trains: Japan has a lot of conveniences such as toilets and breastfeeding rooms everywhere for the self-explanatory. Trains are definitely one of those conveniences offering different trains like local, sub-express, and limited express. The system is a bit confusing but there are some conveinces to help you such as maps posted every where, machine for route finders and fare adjustments, and there is almost always a tenant who speaks reasonable English at every ticketing queue.

My first experience on the train in Osaka I followed Google maps which took me on an unnecessarily longer route. I showed the ticket tenant my ticket and asked if my directions were accurate. He literally gave me my money back, bought a new, cheaper ticket, and walked me to the right line, stop, and told me when and where to get off. I had never been so thankful or respectful of someone’s courtesy and helpfulness.

7th Eleven: These are everywhere as well in Japan and offer some of the freshest meals as well ass an exceptional variety of beverages.

Toilets: Something I have to admit I miss about Japan is the toilets. The seats automatically lift up and down and there is always a set of buttons that allow you to control music, clean the toilet for you, a bidet with adjustable buttons for the spray strength and temperature. It became one of those weird things where you actually looked forward to using the toilet.

Traditional housing in Japan: Oddities: For whatever reason Japanese people love Spam, they literally have flavors I didn’t even know existed. Nightlife: Osaka has a thriving nightlife from strip clubs to highball bars to British pubs. People in Osaka are generally more open and friendly towards expats whereas many Japanese can be particularly cold to foreigners. For example, many foreigners who have tattoos are not allowed into saunas, gyms, and springs unless they find a way to cover them up. Also, many foreigners are politely unwelcome at restaurants or bars simply because they are foreigners as well as aren’t fluent in Japanese. They’ll be politely told we are closed or full.

I experienced all these things in a variety of way such as being told at a hookah bar in Kyoto that they were full, until they saw my Japanese girlfriend and magically two seats became available. I also booked a hotel in Tokyo with a Taiwanese girl who spoke Japanese and laughed when a sign posted read:

The famous Glico Running Man:

Highballs & Sake: Highballs, which are basically tall cocktails comprised of liquor, normally whiskey and a lot of club soda. At first, this drink seemed unappealing to me as I prefer whiskey on the rocks or neat, but overtime they grew on me and I ended up having numerous highballs over my time in Japan.

Sake, on the other hand, is something to be either taken as a shot or sipped and enjoyed. A general rule of thumb is that quality sake is served cold where has lower tiers are served warm. I had the pleasure of trying a variety at various bars and have to admit I became a fan of aged Suntory whiskeys.

To politely cheers in Japan you should either pour your sake bottle or be holding your sake glass with two hands to receive your sake. You should also cheers lower than the person you are cheering with.

Japan isn’t cheap to eat or drink out at and one should expect to spend around 600-700 (around $6) for a standard beer at a bar.

Hookah in Japan: I fell in love with smoking Japanese shisha in Japan because it was something cheaper, social, and I wouldn’t be comatose in bed the next day. I also happened to Casanova my way into charming a female employee who gave me quite the hook up.Traditional Japanese Eateries: What I loved about the neighborhood, Tennoji, that I stayed at in Osaka was the variety of traditional eateries a short walk down the street form my hostel. The language barrier was difficult at first as I didn’t learn how to say useful phrases such as, “one please” “thank you” or “excuse me” until after a week of practicing in Japan. I relied on Google translate, pointing at pictures, and the dumb luck of having an occasional English speaking server or chef.

Osaka Castle: Is it touristy? Yes. Is it worth it? Hell yes.

Nature and weather during summer’s June: All over fellow travel blogs and travel websites I heard that June was the worst month to visit Japan due to the lack of blooming cherry blossoms and the unfortunate rainy season. However, of the three weeks I spent in various cities in Japan it only rained, and mildly at that, a fraction of the time. There was no flooding, no heavy rain, and no thunder or lightning. A simple umbrella and you can get around no problem. As far as nature goes, there is a bit of a lack of variety in color but there are still plenty of flowers and everything is very green and pleasant to see nonetheless. Many flowers won’t be in bloom but nature is still worth visiting in parks and gardens for sure.

Survival Japanese: Simplified for English pronunciation.

One = Itchy

Yes = Hi

Cheers – Comb pie

Please – Own knee guy she mas

Thank You – are we got toe go zi mas

Excuse Me/Sorry = Sue me ma send

No Problem = Moan die nai

Story Time: My last night in Osaka I spent the day in the slums run by the Yakuza. I walk into the first restaurant I see without any foreigners and the server tells me, “only Japanese menu.” I reply “mondai nai (no problem),” and the cook comes out to take my order but instead asks me about my cauliflower ears. I explain I’m a semi-retired fighter on holiday.

We start taking about fighting and I show him old videos of me and some of my old training partners killing it right now. They start bringing up old Japanese Pride fights and ask me to send them one of my old fight pics. They print two copies out and get me to sign them and they tape one on the wall and tell me they are going to put the other up in a nearby bar. It turns into a small group of the staff but we are all vibing.

I ask them if there are any Yakuza bars nearby I should be wary of and they laugh. They tell me you’re really close to one and I go seriously? The cook pulls up his shirt to show a full back piece of Shiva and I’m like oh shit. He explains he’s lower tier but not to worry, if you respect us we’ll respect you. I offer to buy them a round of drinks and they starts cheersing me and return the favor by giving me a free meal.

We keep talking and they literally say we’re going to close the restaurant down and take you to a local bar. Being me, I reluctantly say let’s go. They literally close the place down and we go to a Yakuza bar that’s something like a speakeasy where, go figure, is the second picture hung up. The bartender’s and other patrons go what are you doing bringing this foreigner here? They go don’t worry he’s with us, he’s cool. They warn me the boss isn’t in tonight but if he decides to show up you have to leave, it’s not personal but you aren’t one of us. I tell them I understand and we start eating and drinking but then a random member stands up and slaps me in the face – twice. I stand up and square up like what the hell? They all start laughing and say we wanted to see how you would react then say don’t worry, we all like you now because you didn’t back down, it shows you have pride like us. We go shot for shot, drink for drink ALL NIGHT. Eventually, I leave and they ask for a way to contact me to keep in touch, I right down my number and bid them farewell.

Never a dull moment. This is my version of Bert’s “I Am The Machine!”

Osaka I left the school I worked at in Vietnam to start a new journey backpacking Japan, visiting my family in Singapore, and to live and teach in Taiwan.

#Asia #Backpacking #Japan #Osaka #Survival Japanese #Travel #World Travel

[igrublocal]

The Best Takeout I Ate This Month, When I Could Only Eat Takeout

In the span of three weeks, I somehow managed two moves while trying to find an apartment that I liked: from Uptown to Woodlawn, then from Woodlawn to Printers Row. Turns out that I need someplace larger than a tiny studio, and also within walking distance of a coffee shop (preferably one that has macadamia milk).

There was a lot of packing and unpacking, and packing again to unpack. But the one thing I never unpacked was my kitchen, so I found myself grabbing something to-go, virtually every day, in neighborhoods across the city. And of all the things I ate, these are my favorites. So if you’re looking for good takeout, read on.

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The Takeout

 in 

$$$$ 2621 S Halsted St.

Cold Noodles

This is the spot formally known as A Place by Damao, right on the border of Bridgeport and Chinatown. Da Mao Jia specializes in Chengdu cuisine and is home to one of my favorite dishes in the city. It’s the sweet and spicy cold noodle, made with perfectly chewy handmade noodles, peanut sauce, and a housemade chili oil. In fact, the entire menu is delicious, and the cold noodles also serve as a refreshing palate cleanser in between mouth-numbing bites of the wontons in volcano broth, or their ChengDu Spicy Duck Wings.

 in 

$$$$ Wilson

Meat & Jollof Plate

The best part about living in Uptown was all the different West African restaurants I had the chance to try. Out of those, Palace Gate Ghanaian Restaurant became my go-to. A lot of different stews, rice, and starches make up the menu, but my favorite is the meat and jollof plate. It’s a container packed with deliciousness - spicy, fragrant rice, tender stewed beef, and ripe, roasted plantain.

 in 

$$$$ 4949 N Broadway St

Khao Soi

Another Uptown favorite, Immm Rice & Beyond serves up a khao soi that’s so good I ordered it at least once a week while I lived in the neighborhood. The dish is a spicy but sweet curry with braised beef, hand-cut noodles, and topped with a tangle of fried noodles and a dollop of chili paste. It’s a great mix of flavors and textures, and thanks to their khao soi, this dish has become the first thing I look for on the menu of any new Thai restaurant I visit.

$$$$ 2447 N Clark St

Hot Wings

You know how you have those hot wings that are hot, but somehow still bland? No kick, not enough salt, and the only notable flavor is “spicy”. They’re the worst, and far too common. But House of Wings is breaking that cycle with their crispy, well-seasoned, and well-sauced hot wings out of a little storefront in Lincoln Park. Plus there’s no seating, so this place was primed for takeout even before the pandemic.

,   in 

$$$$ 901 W Randolph St

Mr. G Sandwich

I call this the Italian sandwich to beat out all Italian sandwiches. The Mr. G comes courtesy of J.P Graziano’s, a family-run place serving up subs (hoagies, cold cuts, sandwiches, heros, whatever) in the West Loop since 1933. In other words, way before rent went up 500%. And their longevity must be based on the fact that the sandwiches are straight-up quality - made with chewy fresh-baked bread from D’Amato’s, imported meats, cheeses, spices, and oils. The Mr. G (named after the original owner) is layered with sharp provolone, hot soppressata, prosciutto, genoa salami, truffle mustard, balsamic vinaigrette, hot oil, marinated artichokes, fresh basil, and lettuce.

$$$$ 3452 S Western Ave

Croissant Breakfast Sandwich

In the words of a famous Chicagoan, “Hurry up with my damn croissants!” But please don’t actually say this to the nice people at Butterdough in McKinley Park. I warn you though, the airy, buttery croissants will make you wanna curse. The pastries alone are good, but when they put bacon, lettuce, tomato, avocado, and herbed ranch on said croissant? I was hooked. But get there early, ’cause once they’re gone, they’re gone - and they sell out quick.

$$$$ 1646 W 18th St

Pork Jibarito Plate

Usually, I go to Humboldt Park to satisfy my jibarito craving. But Jibarito Stop (which started out as a food truck and is woman-owned), set up shop right in the heart of Pilsen and is making some seriously delicious jibaritos. I like ordering the pork with arroz con gandules and a Champagne kola, but they also have great dinner plates, like stewed black beans or empanadas.

$$$$ Location changes

Steak Taco

This one only pops-up occasionally so requires a bit of planning, but is worth the effort. Taco Sublime is a taco truck from the Under The Bridge Project, a community rehabilitation non-profit, that serves the best steak taco I’ve ever had. The perfectly-seasoned meat is tender and the salsa is tangy and delicious, but what really sets it apart is the caramelized cheese coating the inside of the corn tortilla. And the best part (even better than the crispy cheese) is that they donate their profits to different local charities every time they come out and serve food.

A post shared by Tacosublime (@tacosublime) on Jun 8, 2020 at 1:46pm PDT

 in 

$$$$ 1637 W Montrose

Tropical Arepa

I have a special relationship with arepas. The first time I ever had one was while working on a Venezuelan food truck after deciding to quit my marketing internship post-college graduation. During that time I made (and ate) hundreds, if not thousands, of arepas - so I know a good one when I bite into it. And the huge arepas at Bienmesabe are good ones. They’re crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and stuffed with meat, handmade white cheese, and a variety of other delicious fillings. My favorite is the tropical arepa, which has shredded chicken, black beans, and plantains.

 in 

$$$$ 57 E 47th St

Bananas Foster Combo Scoop

That line isn’t out the door for nothing. If you’re craving something sweet, Shawn Michelle’s makes some of the best ice cream in the city. The first time I went I wanted to try virtually everything, but there are over 25 flavors, so I ended up going with the bananas foster combo: a mix of banana pudding and Jamaican rum raisin ice creams. Y’all. This woman made me like raisins. Let that be a testament to how good the ice cream is here.

[marketingadvisorvietnam]

Mute shoeshiner strikes Gold after losing best friend

Marketing Advisor đã viết bài trên http://www.ticvietnam.vn/mute-shoeshiner-strikes-gold-after-losing-best-friend/

Mute shoeshiner strikes Gold after losing best friend

The reunion was emotional. The dog, Vang (Gold), repeatedly jumped up and kissed Tran Khac An. Punching his chest, the An looked up at the sky and smiled as though he could not stop.

On December 7, two weeks after he lost Vang, a friend helped An find him again.

Hugging the dog tightly, An could not help smiling, and put his hands on his heart to show his joy and happiness. He gave himself a “day off” to take care of the dog.

This is not the first time that this loving pair is making news.

Three years ago, a story about the friendship between the mute shoeshiner and the blind dog had spread across the country and touched the heart of millions of readers.

The pet lovers community and many young people voted it as one of 20 most inspirational stories of the year in 2015. The same year, they were voted among the Top 10 inspirational characters of the year and honored on the stage of the WeChoice Awards gala.

A wedding gift

To welcome his best friend home, An had someone write ‘marriage’ on a cardboard sign to organize a “wedding” for Vang and Tina, a dog that An has just adopted to become the former’s partner.

The sign was hung in front of the hut under Thu Thiem Bridge, in District 2, where An stays with his dogs.

An, who is mute and illiterate, polishes shoes everyday on Thai Van Lung and Le Thanh Ton streets, District 1, Ho Chi Minh City.

“An has been homeless for 20 years. He polishes shoes during the day and sleeps in a hut in the street at night, but he is very polite and honest. Though he is poor, he is very independent and will refuse to accept disingenuous acts of kindness,” said Sang (60 years old), a motorcycle taxi driver, who lives in Ben Nghe Ward, District 1 and has known An for years.

An takes Vang everywhere with him. This picture was taken three years ago. Photo by VnExpress/Dinh Tuan

Three years ago, when An was cleaning shoes in the street, he found a blind puppy abandoned in the pavement so he brought him home.

“An loves Vang as if he was his child, taking care of him very carefully. If the dog is sick, he will be so worried that he takes time off work to take care of him. He will get mad at anyone hurting Vang,” Sang said.

With the intention of helping him, some people have offered to buy the dog for a high price, but An won’t even think of it.

When Vang was young, An put him in a basket containing personal items and work tools. As the dog grew up, An used one hand to carry the basket and the other to take the dog with him. “The two are attached to each other like a shadow. They share with each other whatever food An has. Whenever his owner sleeps, the dog lies by his side protecting him,” Sang said.

On November 20, An lost Vang. Heartbroken, he refused to eat. Mute, he could not tell others that Vang was missing and ask if anyone had seen him.

Thang (left) is making a profile card for Vang showing his picture and phone number, just in case Vang gets lost again. Photo by VnExpress/Phan Than

Nguyen Thang, 32, a resident of Ben Nghe Ward in District 1, who is studying to become a vet, is an occasional caretaker of Vang. When Thang learnt Vang was missing, he decided to search for the dog. He posted information on social media and went to all the slaughterhouses, parks, other crowded places, and construction areas in District 2 and 9.

“Many people advised me to stop the search, saying Vang must have been killed, but I had never seen An upset like that,” Thang said.

The miracle happened on December 3. A construction worker found a muddied Vang in the sewer, so he brought it home, washed and fed him. That evening, he took the dog for a walk. A passerby saw the fluffy dog running around like Vang in circles and informed Thang. Vang has a habit of running around in circles when he is trying to find An.

Taking Vang back from the worker, Thang washed, groomed, and had him vaccinated before returning him to An.

At the foot of Thu Thiem Bridge, District 2, An has gathered some canvas and bricks to build his “home.” Inside, there is no electricity, water has to be borrowed and his personal items are just a few chairs, a table and a bench. But he has bought many items for Vang, including a special shower gel, eye drops, insect spray, clothes, snacks and bananas.

The mute shoeshiner and Vang are reunited. Photo by VnExpress/Phan Than

Talking about his future plans, An held up five fingers and pointed to the shoebox, indicating that he will polish shoes with the dog five days a week. Next, he held up 2 fingers and pointed to a street coffee vendor. An would help the vendor during the weekend to earn extra money.

Mid afternoon, as the wind buffeted the canvas and An played with his two dogs, Thang said, using gestures: “I found Vang, so he’s mine now.”

An shook his head: “No, Vang is mine.”

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[thelandofmrsparkle]

A Glossary Of Terms

1-kyu:

First level. As in the top level of the Japanese Language Profiency Test!

A man:

Ten thousand. Sounds cool, don't it?

Anime:

Cartoon.

Apato:

Apartment.

Apato Biru:

Apartment building.

Apropos:

Appropriate (French).

Arubaito:

Part-time job, esp. one for students.

Asa-gohan:

Breakfast (lit. "morning rice").

Base brat:

Someone whose parent(s) was (were) military personnel, therefore necessitating living on military bases and multiple traumatic cross-country moves during childhood.

Bento:

Japanese boxed lunch.

Bit:

Slang for stole, copied, and/or plagerized..

Blocking:

A stage term that means where actors are supposed to stand on-stage.

BOE:

JET abbreviation for Board Of Education.

Boshi:

A hat or baseball cap.

Bosozoku:

Young Japanese gang members who ride around on real noisy, super-modified motorcycles (lit. "speed tribes").

Bougie:

Slang term for "bourgeois"

Bunkasai:

School "culture festival;" a bizarre mix of talent show, open house and carnival.

Bureki:

Brakes.

Can't Be Arsed:

See "couldn't be arsed."

Carte blanche:

The freedom to do whatever you please (French).

-Chan:

Attached to someone's name to infer affection for that person as a friend. Also used to indicate that the person being refered to is a child.

Chelsea Smile:

Inserting a knife into the mouth of a person one is assaulting and cutting at either end of the mouth, so as to extend the victim's smile in a grotesque fashion.

Chikan:

Pevert or molester. See also hentai

Chimpira:

A low-level yakuza.

Chi chi fou fou:

Fancy.

Cho:

Very. See also totemo.

Chotto:

A little.

Chugakko:

Junior high school.

Chugakkusei:

Junior high school student.

Conbini:

Convenience store (Montréalers: depanneur), which are ubiquotous in Japan.

Couldn't Be Arsed:

English slang, meaning "couldn't be bothered." Also works as "can't be arsed."

Crust:

A style of punk rock known for its death metal-esque vocals and overall severity. Crust punks are well known for their aversion to personal hygeine and love of mescaline.

Dafuya:

A ticket scalper.

Daibutsu:

Buddah. Or, more commonly, a giant-ass statue of the Buddah.

Daigakko:

University.

Daikyuu:

A day off in lieu of having worked on a regular day off (e.g. do-yobi).

Dame, dame:

Forbidden, as in "don't do that!"

(da)Saitama:

A nickname for Saitama City used by the more cosmopolitan Tokyoites. Dasai means "uncool."

Deets:

Slang term for "details."

Denki:

Electricity; or, electronics store.

Depato:

Department store.

Deshita:

Was. Kind of.

Dinkus:

Dink (Latin).

DIY:

"Do It Yourself." A punk rock manifesto/slogan (North America) or the way to describe homeowner-done home renovations (Merry Olde England).

Dodgu baru:

Dodge ball (formerly known as murder ball).

Dojo:

A school or building devoted to martial arts.

Domo arigato gozaimashita:

"Thank you very much."

Dorama:

Katakanasized English for "drama," meaning "soap opera."

Dosh:

Money. Sorry, I've been renting to many "there's gangsters in London"-type movies lately!

Do-yobi:

Would be Saturday, wouldn't it now?

Echo Parque:

Echo Park. A neighbourhood in Los Angeles (Spanish).

Eigo:

English.

Eikawa:

English conversation school.

El Jefe:

The boss (Spanish).

Enkai:

The legendary "office party" of Japan, where you colleagues try to get you as drunk as possible. Notorious for being the social occassion where the reserved and meek Japanese people you work with go off and get nuts.

Ethiopia no ryoori:

Ethiopian food. Look, just put any country before no ryoori and you are talking about the food of that country. It's just that easy!

FA:

Fuck All

Fameru, the:

The other, more centrally-located but crappier, apartment building wherein almost all the other AET's working for the Saitama-shi are housed.

Flossing:

Wearing clothing or jewelry in a flashy, homologic manner.

Flush:

In the wacky world of poker, five cards of the same suit. A good hand.

Furikomi:

Transferring money from your bank account to someone else's.

Fushigi:

Weird, as in spooky or mysterious weird. Like an Astro-boy action figure spookily and mysteriously "floating" in a Denny's toy. Hello? Go back and read the sentence again!

Gaijin:

Foreigner. Non-Japanese.

Gaijin cado:

The "Alien Registration Card" that every foreigner living here is required to carry at all times.

Gaikokku:

Foreign country or countries. Any country or countries that is not Japan.

Gakusei:

Student. Or students. Depending.

Game senta:

Arcade ("game centre" - get it?).

Ganbaranai!:

"Don't try!" "Why bother?" "Do a half-assed job, if even that much." The opposite of ganbatte.

Ganbatte yo!:

"Fight!" "Try hard!" "Do your best!" J-folk never tire of uttering these words of encouragement at every opportunity.

Genkan:

That part of a J-house right after the front door where you take off your shoes. Considered part of "outside," so if you don't leave your door locked here, don't be surprised when delivery guys, Jehovah's Witnesses, the cops and the NHK guy just open your front door and stand in the genkan, calling for you!

Genki:

Healthy, happy, in good spirits, socialable, frisky. Pick one or a combination thereof.

Genkikunai:

Unhealthy, unhappy, in poor spirits, unsocialable, not frisky. Pick one or a combination thereof.

Geri:

Either diarrhea or having sex with your girlfriend. Can't remember which one, but either way, geri is a top-notch excuse to give your supervisor when you want the day off. Though I'd recommend seiri-tsuu for the ladies.

Getsu-yobi:

Monday. You didn't read the week one entry very closely, did you?

Gi:

Martial arts uniform. Costume? Get-up? No, uniform!

Giving us the hi-hat:

1920's gangster slang for being snubbed or disrespected, see?

Glasgow Kiss:

A head butt.

Gobsmacked:

Flabbergasted; astounded; shocked (English slang).

Gomen nasai:

"I'm sorry."

Haafu:

Katakanized English for "half," which is how mixed-"race" offspring of one Japanese parent & one gaijin are actually refered to here!

Hanabi:

Fireworks.

Hanamizu:

Snot (lit. "nose water").

Hanko:

A stamp or personal seal, used in lieu of a signature on most legal documents, bank forms, etc.

Hansomu:

Jinglish for "handsome."

Harajuku:

A popular district of central Tokyo, known for attracting throngs of young people dressed to nines in all manner of garb. Particulary on Sundays!

Hawdkoah:

The New York City pronounciation of "hardcore", a style of punk music.

Hella:

San Francisco slang for "very" (lit. "hell of").

Hentai:

Pervert. See also chikan.

Hiragana:

One of the Japanese syllabic alphabets.

Hisashiburi ne!:

"Long time, no see!"

Ichi-nensei:

First-year students (Canadian translation: 7th grade).

Inaka:

The country. A rural area.

Isofuckingashii:

Bufuckingsy.

Itabashi-sensei:

My supervisor at the Saitama Board of Education.

Itai:

"That hurts!" lit."ouch!"

Italian run-through:

When an actor, in rehearsal, goes through their lines as quickly as possible. Used to assist with line memorization

Itari no ryoori:

Italian food.

Izakaya:

Japanese-style drinking/eating bars designed to accomodate larger groups of drunks.

Janken:

Rock, Paper, Scissors.

JET:

The Japan Exchange Teaching program - how I managed to fanagle my way into this country.

Jet Coaster:

Roller coaster.

Jido hanbaiki:

Vending machine.

Jiko shokai:

A self-introduction - a prepared speech used to introduce yourself to others.

Jitensha:

A bicycle.

Joie de vivre:

"Joy of life." (French)

Jozu:

Skilled, talented, impressive.

Jofuckingzu:

Skilfuckingled, talenfuckingted, imfuckingpressive.

JTE:

JET program jargon for a Japanese Teacher of English.

Judo:

A Japanese martial art involving the throwing of people. Derived from ju jitsu, another Japanese martial art.

Juku:

Lit. "cram school." Private tutoring-style schools most kids go to after regular school, to give them that edge on the all-important, life-determining exams they face at the end of junior and senior high school.

Ju-ni-nichi matsuri:

Some sort of weird festival in Urawa that appears to celebrate December 12th. Literally translates to "The Festival of the 12th."

Kafucho:

Hay fever. But really, pollen allergy, esp. cedar pollen allergy. Which is bad news given that 60% of Japan's forests were clearcut to make way for cedar plantations.

Kai-yobi:

Tuesday. You didn't read the week one entry very closely, did you?

Kame:

Turtle.

Kana:

The Japanese written language, composed of the hiragana, katakana and kanji alphabets.

Kanji:

The Japanese characters that are actually Chinese characters and usually have two or three totally unrelated pronunciations and meanings. Oh, and there are thousands upon thousands of them, too.

Kanpai:

Cheers/Skoal/Here's Mud In Yer Eye.

Kare rice:

As near as I can figure out the Japanese pronounciation for "curry rice," a popular Japanized curry dish.

Kasa:

Umbrella.

Katakana:

The Japanese syllabic alphabet reserved for non-Japanese words.

Katana:

Those cool samurai swords. Also, an iconic "rice rocket" made by Kawasaki.

Kawaii:

Cute.

Keitai:

A cellular telephone. Which you would have ascertained, had you continued reading the sentence.

Kendo:

A Japanese martial art involving wooden swords and the hitting of people with them.

Kenkyujo:

The proper pronounciation of the Japanese word for Research centre. Specifically, the Saitama City BOE research centre.(see also kinkyujo).

Kimpura:

Um, marinated shredded vegetables? Not entirely sure, but I eat it!

Kin Jeh:

Vegetarian. Though I cain't recall if it means "vegetarian food" or "vegetarian person." Ask Thi. She'll know. (Thai).

Kinkyujo:

Research centre. Specifically, the Saitama City BOE research centre.

Kin-yobi:

Come on. If moku-yobi was Thursday and this followed Thursday, what the hell day do you think it is?

Kissaten:

Café/coffee shop.

Koban:

Police box - a little, mini-office where at least one cop is always present. Thousands of thems all over Japanese neighbourhoods, which is sometimes credited as a reason for Japan's low crime rate.

Kocho-sensei:

Principal (lit. "head teacher").

Koguro:

aka "ko-gals." Lit. translating to "high school girls," this refers to a Japanese female youth subculture where teenage girls bleach their hair, tan themselves as dark as possible, wear a lot of white makeup and dress as cute as possible. Think Britany Spears as done by David Lynch and you are getting close to what it's like.

Kokkoi:

Cool.

Konnichiwa:

Hello/Good day.

Konshu:

This week.

Kowe:

Scary (refering to males).

Kowaii:

Scary.

Kuro:

Black.

Kyoto-sensei:

Vice-Principal.

Kyudo:

Japanese archery.

Kyuryobi:

Payday.

Lactards:

The lactose intolerant; usually those whose bodies do not produce the enzyme required to digest the protein lactose, found in milk and diary products.

La Comida Mexicana:

Mexican food (Spanish).

Live House:

A bar where bands play. The tweaked thing is that, unless the band is huuuge, they probably have to rent out the venue, PA & staff and produce the show themselves. Cost? 300,000 - 400,000 yen! Yipes!

Maddog:

To glare at someone in as threatening a manner as possible.

Maka:

The accepted abbreviation of Makadonorado.

Makadonorado:

McDonald's - an American fast-food restaurant chain, popular in Japan. See also Maka.

Mamachari:

A "shopping bike" - a rickety old-style bike with a basket on the front and sometimes the back. The kind you'd expect to see grandmas trucking around on. Which they do. Along with everyone else.

Man:

10,000.

Manga:

A Japanese comic book, which are read by children and adults alike and cover every possible topic and story, including golf, tennis and, of course, pornography.

Mansion:

Hilariously enough, what they call really big multimulti unit apartment buildings!

Matsuri:

Festival.

Megane:

Eyeglasses.

Meishi:

Business card (lit. "name card").

Melonpan:

A melon-flavoured bun. Also, a character on the popular children's television series Ampanman. Whose title character is a flying superhero with a sweet bean-paste-filled bun for a head.

Merde:

"Shit," in French.

Mi Vida Loca:

"My Crazy Life." In this case, a pretty good gang film. Not the Ricky Martin song (Spanish).

Moku-yobi:

Come now, you deduced that this was Thursday all by yourself, didn't you?

Moleto:

Wallet (Spanish). Possibly the only spanish word I remember from that summer class I took four years ago.

Mugly:

Weather so hot and humid ("muggy") that it is downright ugly ("ugly"). Just because I made a word up does not mean that it should not be in everyone's lexicon.

Muzukashii:

Difficult.

Nasi goreng:

Thee scrumptious, rice-based national dish of Indonesia.

Natsukashii:

Kind of when something caused you to reminisce in a happy, sentimental, "ah, the memories!" way.

Ne?:

"Isn't it so?/Don't you think?" Liberally inserted at the end of practically any sentence. Similar to the Canadian "Eh?" Or the Parisian "quoi?" Or the Québecois "la." Etc.

Neko:

Cat.

Nenkyu:

Paid vacation time. Which, in theory and according to your JET contract, you can book off with your supervisor without much problem. In theory.

Nihon-go:

Japanese language.

Nihon-go no sensei:

Japanese language teacher.

Nihon-jin:

A Japanese person.

Nihon ryoori:

Japanese food.

Niku nashi onegai dekimasu ka:

Could you pretty please make that without putting dead animal parts on it?

Ni-nensei:

Second-year students (Canadian translation: 8th grade.

Nissei:

Second-generation Japanese living somewhere other than Japan.

Nomihodai:

A special and popular deal at Japanese bars, where you and your friends may drink all you possibly can in a set period of time, for a set price.

Nova usagi-chan:

The annoying animated rabbit mascot of the largest chain of private English schools in Japan, whose theme song is permanently ingraved on my memory thanks to heavy airplay of their TV commericals. "Ippai kikite, ippai shaberuru NOVANOVA!".

Off-book:

A stage term meaning that an actor has memorized their part and can or will rehearse without having to look at the script.

Ohayo gozaimasu:

Good morning.

Ogenki desu ka?:

How are you? (honorific form).

Oishii:

Delicious.

Ojiisan:

Grandfather. But let's not start singing about his stupid fucking clock, ok?

OLs:

"Office Ladies." Women working low-level secretarial/receptionist/clerk positions in Japanese offices, until they get married and stop all this silly nonsense about having a career. Which means pretty much any woman working in an office in Japan, since, of course, only men should be promoted or hold positions of importance or responsibility.

Omiyage:

Little individually-wrapped snacks you bring back from a trip to anywhere for all your co-workers. A major Japanese tradition.

Onigirii:

Popular J-snack of a triangle of rice wrapped in seaweed, usually with a fishy or seaweedy centre.

Onsen:

Hot spring. J-folk loooove love love to visit the innumerable hot springs dotted around Japan on their vacations.

Onis:

Demons.

Otaku:

Nerds. But especially obsessive-compulsive collecting nerds.

Pachinko:

This wildly-popular but weird gambling game involving a sort of vertically-mounted pinball machine, hundreds of steel balls, prizes and a lot of noise and flashiness.

Pit justice:

A straight-edge slang term for physically attacking someone in the dance area of a punk rock concert.

Player:

One who maintains a high level of romantic popularity and multiple romantic relationships.

Poutine:

French I mean Freedom Fries smothered in a special gravy and then covered with melting cheese curds. Québec's national dish, right above chien chaud steamée.

Purikura:

Special arcades specializing in those cute photo sticker booths where you take pictures with your friends and then customize them like mad.

Quelle Surprise:

"What a surprise!" (French).

Queue:

A line of people. (British).

Queuing:

Lining up (British).

Restos:

A Montréal abbreviation for "restaurants" (probably French).

Reverse:

Puke (verb).

Roku-nensei:

6th graders.

Romanji:

What they call the Roman (read: English-language) alphabet o'er here.

Ryokan:

A traditional-style Japanese inn.

SaiSta:

Slang for former World Cup venue Saitama Stadium.

Saisho RU! Janken PON!:

What J-people say instead of "1,2, 3!" when playing Janken. (see Janken).

Saitama BOE:

The Saitama City Board of Education.

Saitama-ken:

The prefecture of Saitama. A prefecture is like a province or state. 47 of 'em in Japan!

Salary(wo)man:

Business(wo)man. But pretty much always men. Women who work in offices are OLs.

San-nensei:

Third-year students (Canadian translation: 9th grade.

Seiri-tsuu:

Menstrual cramps.

Sempai:

The more senior, and therefore, superior person in a given work/school situation.

Sensei:

The honorific term for teacher.

Senta Gyaru:

Katakaniz'd English for "Centre Girl," which refers to a mostly-female subculture of high school girls who hang around Shibuya's Centre Street dresses in animal costumes with their hair dyed as unnaturally fluorescent as possible, with fake jewels glued on their faces. See also koguro.

Senta Guy:

The male version of a senta gyaru.

Seppuku:

Japanese ritual suicide.

Servo:

Brain (French).

Shag:

Fuck (British slang).

Shanked:

To be stabbed with a homemade or improvised knife.

Shibuya:

A popular district in central Tokyo for shopping, food, or dates. I like to pronounce it "shi- BOO-YA!" but somehow I don't think that's very original of me. Satisfying, though!

Shinjuku:

A popular district in central Tokyo, known for its nightlife.

Shinkansen:

Tha bullet train! Pow! Zip!

Shippu:

Stinky ointment-laced gauze. Did you not read the sentence or something?

Shizzy:

Slang term for shiznit, which is, in itself, a slang term.

Shiznit:

The stuff, the deal, etc.

Shogakko:

Elementary school.

Shogakkusei:

Elementary school students. I mean, in only follows, right?

Shogunai:

"It can't be helped." The J-way of saying, "sorry, you're fucked!"

Shogunakatta:

Past tense of shogunai.

Shojin ryoori:

Lit. "temple food." Special Japanese vegetarian you'll find at Buddhist temples, emphasizing elements of Buddhism in food form.

Shoppingu:

Shopping.

Shoppu:

Shop. See, it's not so hard, hey?

Shouganai:

It can't be helped/there's nothing to be done about the situation.

SIKE!:

1980's slang for "I tricked you!", yelled at the tricked in a mocking tone.

Skint:

British slang for flat-ass broke.

Slowplayed:

To have played a strong hand weakly, by checking instead of betting or by calling instead of raising. Usually done to win extra bets by keeping more players around for future rounds of betting. Thank you U of A type Jonathan Schaeffer for the definition!

Somen:

A type of Japanese noodle, usually served in a tasty soup.

Souji:

Cleaning/cleaning time.

-Sugoi:

Great.

Sui-yobi:

Wednesday. You should be getting the hang of the yobis now, right?

Sumimasen:

Excuse me/pardon me/sorry 'bout that. One of the handiest and most oft-used expressions in The Japan. Learn it, live it, love it.

Sumo:

You know, those really big fat Japanese guys that wrestle each other? Like in that Weezer video!

Support:

What English people call the opening act.

Tabernac:

The short version of tabernacle, which is essentially the French equivalent of "fuck."

Tacoyaki:

A super-popular Japanese streetfood, consisting of chopped octopus cooked in little balls of batter, served with tons of mayo and dried fish flakes. Taco=octopus, which can be a bit of a surprise if you are trying to order la comida Mexicana.

Taiko:

Japanese drums/drumming.

Taikukan:

Gym.

Takyuubin:

Delivery/courier company.

Tarento:

"Talent" - minor celebrities and personalities that populate the game/talk shows that comprise 90% of Japanese television.

Tatami:

Rice-straw mats that serve as flooring in traditional Japanese rooms. Most houses have at least one tatami room and rooms in Japan are measured according to how many tatami mats they fit or would fit.

Terebi:

Television.

Terebi dorama

TV drama.

'The Bash:

Our nickname for Itabashi-sensei.

The filth:

English slang for police.

The Old Bill:

Slightly-more polite English slang for police.

The River:

The last card dealt in a hand of poker. What Mile End Poker Society members would term "fifth street."

Tomodachi:

Friend.

Tori:

Chicken.

Totemo:

Very. See also cho.

Toyu:

Kerosene.

Tweaker:

Amerian west coast slang for person addicted to methamphetamine, aka speed.

Udon:

A broad noodle.

Unko:

Shit.

Urusai:

Shut up (lit. "[too] noisy/loud!").

Usagi:

Rabbit.

Utage:

I honestly have no fucking idea what "utage" means. Can anyone help me out here? Good fucking alcohol, though. Real tasty, that there utagehol.

Vick:

Victimize.

Vignette:

A short scene (French).

Wa, The:

Harmony. Balance.

Wakarimasen:

"I don't understand." See also wakarinai.

Wakarimashita:

To understand, past tense, formal.

Wakarinai:

The less polite, informal version of "I don't understand." See also wakarimasen.

Wakaru:

The unconjugated form of "to understand."

Wakatta:

The shortened, informal, past tense form of "to understand."

White Day:

A special, Japanese-only holiday invented so that Japanese men could buy Japanese women white gifts and/or chocolate, partially to reciprocate them for having received gifts and/or chocolate on Valentine's Day. Which, in Japan, is when only men receive gifts from women, never vice versa.

WTF:

What The Fuck.

Yakisoba:

Fried noodles, usually with pork or beef and some other stuff.

Yakitori:

Grilled pieces of chicken on a skewer.

Yak:

See yakuza.

Yakuza:

Every country has their own version of the mafia. The Yakuza are Japan's.

Yamasigawa-sensei:

My supervisor's assistant at the Saitama Board of Education.

Yorushiko onegaishimasu:

Sort of a catch-all polite phrase to use when asking someone to do something for you.

Yubinkyoku:

Post office.

Yukatta:

Traditional Japanese summer garment, similiar to a kimono but made of lighter cotton instead of silk. Still just as difficult to put on, though. Or so I'm told.

Yuki:

Snow.

Yuki Matsuri:

Thee Hokkaido Snow Festival. One of the biggest and most famous festivals in Japan. Kind of like the Québec Winter Carnival, but with more snow sculptures and less Bon Homme.

#japan #japanese #glossary #mr. sparkle