#I’m so fucking sorry if you recognise the origin of this tweet

[spandexual]

#Kaguragi Dybowski #Racles Hastie #Royal Sentai Kingohger #Ohsama Sentai Kingohger #do I tag this as NCT... I shan't. #I’m so fucking sorry if you recognise the origin of this tweet #anyway I can't wait to find out what the fucking deal with Kaguragi and Racles actually is #whatever it is it doesn't seem like he particularly minds which of the Hasties gets their head chopped off at this point lol

[amphtaminedreams]

I Shopped at YesStyle So You Don’t Have To: Lookbook no.10

Hi to anyone reading,

And welcome to what I guess is my first “review” post of sorts! Which is basically an excuse for me to rave about Korean street style and ask why the fuck Seoul fashion week isn’t more of a big deal!? Though I’ve pretty much quit fast fashion over the last few months and have been getting my clothes from Depop, I did want to talk about the website YesStyle which I ordered from back in May (jfc, the fact that May was almost 4 months ago now is terrifying) and how impressed I was with their service and the clothes I received. It should go without saying from the fact that investing in someone with about 200 followers on here wouldn’t be a very good financial decision, but this isn’t a sponsored post-I just think that if you’re gonna order from anywhere, YesStyle is a good shout for those of you who, like myself, are inspired by East Asian street style. I have to give credit to the incredible Katie O, otherwise known as StealTheSpotlight on Youtube and Instagram; she’s the medium through which I’ve been introduced to the world of “k-fashion” and YesStyle in the first place. Yes, my current knowledge of k-pop doesn’t extend far past fan tendencies to flood every popular tweet with fancams of their favourite singers and girl groups (I admire the dedication), but through Katie’s content and Instagram accounts like TokyoFashion on Instagram,  I have come to the conclusion that the stylists behind these groups and Asian designers in general are owed a huge amount of credit by Western trend forecasters. If you have any Instagram account or blog recommendations with similar content please let me know! For now, I’m gonna give a run down of the pieces I ordered (most of which are still available), prices and sizing, and also a bit focussing on ethical concerns and what I could find out about their practices from my research.

DISCLAIMER: The photos used as backgrounds are mine. Yes, I’m in mourning over the fact that this time last year I was inter-railing, in case the ham-fisted insertion of touristy pics didn’t make that obvious. Remember when we could leave the country? When it didn’t feel like the world was ending? When everything didn’t seem to be going to absolute shit all at once? When there was a glimmer of hope that we wouldn’t spend the next 4 years being governed by the Conservatives here in Britain? Simpler times :-)

The Pieces

1. The Alizio V-Neck Camisole Top in White: £4.97, Size M

So, what you’re gonna get from the off here is that YesStyle’s prices seem ridiculously cheap, which is something I’ll address in the ethics section at the end of the post. For £4.97, you’d expect an ill-fitting SheIn/Zaful style number but I was so impressed by how flattering this top actually is. I was a size 8 and 32C for reference and my only complaint is that because the neckline has a slight plunge, it was a little awkward to wear with a t-shirt bra. You know, unless you’re into that cups poking out of the top kinda vibe that was a rite of passage for all British teenage girls going through puberty back in, like, 2009 when you wanted everyone to know you’d been on your first bra shopping trip to M&Co with your mum at the weekend. 

2. The Rhames High-Waist Plaid Mini Skirt in Purple: £9.12, Size M

Clueless being as iconic as it is, a plaid mini skirt is always going to be timeless and I know this is a piece I’m gonna be basing outfits around for a long time. It fit perfectly and is surprisingly good quality material; I was kind of expecting it to come in that super thin, semi-see through jersey that you get when you order from a lot of UK fast fashion sites, but a recurring feature of the clothes I picked out was that they were such good quality for the price and exactly as they appear online. I’ve found in the past that UK sites are deceptively canny with lighting and angles in that when the garment actually arrives (Boohoo in particular is a repeat offender in this regard) it’s a lot frumpier than it looks on the model. It seems to be common practice to pin back and temporarily alter the clothes during photoshoots to give the illusion that they’re a lot more fitted and structured than they actually are which ultimately just leads to disappointment when you try on the supposedly bodycon dress and resemble a sack of potatoes. Been there, done that. I worship the ground all carbs walk on but I don’t want to look like them. Should go without saying really. It’s nothing to do with size, but it’s just crappy tailoring and cutting corners on the brand’s part and that’s what irks me. I really appreciate that YesStyle has photos of “regular” people just wearing the clothes out rather than the outcomes of these overly edited, studio lit shoots that aren’t necessarily the most representative of how the garment is gonna look irl.

3. Nikiki Garter Belt: £5.59, One Size

As comfortable as garters come, I guess? I don’t have much experience with them tbh, lol. 2021 to do list, if we make it out of 2020 alive: try more garters.

4. Lucuna Floral Embroidered Cropped Cardigan in Almond: £15.61, One Size

Don’t get me wrong, this cardigan is adorable and there’s nothing misleading about the photo on the website. What I will say is that considering it only comes in one size, it’s pretty tight on the arms. I’m a size 6 right now and it’s really not like I’m ripped or anything (lol) so it’s safe to say that in terms of the Lucuna brand, their sizes come up very small. The cardigan wasn’t the only one size thing I purchased and whilst the others did fit, I think in general the fact that said “one size” is pretty much only suitable for UK sizes 4-8 is pretty shit. A few of the pieces had elasticated waistbands but in general in 2020, when we’ve come so far in the last few years with body positivity and being more inclusive of all sizes, to have a sample size that runs so small isn’t acceptable and this sizing issue is my biggest problem with the store. Though I recognise that YesStyle acts as an outlet for smaller East Asian brands (in this case Lucuna) and thus aren’t themselves responsible for the designs, more consideration should probably go into the harm that could potentially be done by stocking these supposedly “one size fits all” garments. Brandy Melville, I’m looking at you too. Your designs are cute but your lack of inclusivity is shitty.

5. Ohnana Ruffle Trim Strappy Cami Cropped Top in Purple: £5.01, Size M

I’m not as jazzed as I was about this top now it seems that everyone and their mother’s dog is selling it at an extortionate price on Depop but I will say that it’s also very flattering. Makes my strangely long torso look somewhat proportionate, which is nice. The material is pretty thin but it is for all intents and purposes a tank top and the price is reflective of that.

6. Sisyphi Plaid Shirt in Tangerine: £11.30, One Size

So the “one size” option strikes again, though this time with less vengeance-I would say this would be wearable up to size 12/14 so slightly better than with the cardigan.

7.  BBChic High-Waist Wide-Leg Jeans: £10.04, Size M

When it comes to these jeans, I only have good things to say. Like firstly, they make me feel like early 2000s Avril Lavigne AKA. my childhood icon/potential clone/queen of millennium grunge and an incarnation of Y2K fashion I can actually get behind. Secondly, they have an elasticated waistband, which is ALWAYS a good thing. Thirdly, they didn’t come up ridiculously long on me which I feared would be the case; I did wear the platform Filas with them but as you can see, it’s not like they’d be trailing over my feet even in flats. I’m somewhere between 5′3 and 5′4 for reference and usually go for petite in jeans  and trousers just to be on the safe side.

8.  HERMITAKH Ring Detail Halter Crop Top in Black: £5.15, Size M

I have only recently become a member of the itty bitty titty committee but even back when I shot this lookbook this halter actually fit! When it came to tops that necessitate going braless, I always had issues with finding pieces I didn’t feel were going to cause an unintentional free the nipple moment, but the fact that you can tie this top up at the neck and back yourself allows you to work out a fit that’s supportive for you. 

9. Puffie Lightning Print Straight-Cut Pants: £13.76, Size M

I’d wanted a pair of trousers like these for ages before I saw them on YesStyle but the ones I’d come across in the past were a bit extra for my hometown and typically cost more than they seemed to be worth. This pair lack the bulk that the original styles I came across had, which helps give them a more casual, laid back feel, though they are just as vibrant and substantial BUT there isn’t much give in them. They have the slightly baggy look I was going for however they aren’t elasticated on the waist so I recommend having a look at the guide that’s available next to the drop down box where you select the size you want.

 10. Alfie Mesh Long-Sleeve Top in Pink: £7.71, One Size

No, the Jennifer’s Body top isn’t from YesStyle, I’m sorry to disappoint. Go to RedBubble for that one! The considerably less exciting mesh top underneath however, is, and in spite of its relative mundanity (you can’t top Megan Fox as a man-eating demon) it does the job as a versatile staple piece. It’s one size but it does have a lot of stretch in it so would probably go up to about size 14 (not to say that’s great).

11. Barrash Harness Bag: £17.10, One Size

The harness vest is one of my favourite trends to come out of k-fashion and I wanted SO badly to pull this piece off (especially because it was one of the most expensive pieces I purchased from the site) but it was far too big for me even when I adjusted it and TBH...I don’t even know if it’s just the sizing? I kinda felt like a paranoid tourist with their bag on back to front and yeah...I don’t think that’s the desired effect. Here’s an example of how cool they CAN look from Seoul fashion week, and with that another example of why NYFW should lose its place in the “big 4″ to make room for SFW:

And just Blackpink just setting the standard for the utility wear trend in general:

12. Mikiko Short-Sleeved Blouse in White: £8.79, One Size

I appreciate that the website notes that the “one size” here runs small, however it does also say that a “base layer” is needed for under the shirt which I didn’t find was necessary at all. The fabric is quite thick and it genuinely looks like the kind of shirt you’d find tucked away in a vintage shop, cute af and will go with anything.

13. Closette Sleeveless V-Neck Vest in Black: £11.87, One Size

Again, I was really impressed with the quality of this jumper; it definitely looks like something you’d pick up in a uniform shop (though this one is probably cheaper because those shops are daylight fucking ROBBERY) but I can never get enough of that grungy school girl look. Blame St.Trinians. 

14. Niji Smile Pleated Plaid Skirt with Insert Shorts in Green: £9.12, Size M

This skirt might be my absolute favourite of the items I ordered on the sole basis that it comes with shorts built in underneath, like, WHY DON’T ALL MINI SKIRTS HAVE THIS!? Plus the shape and the bounce it has to it makes me feel ultra-feminine and effortlessly cute which I love. It didn’t even turn up crumpled! Which you’ve really got to admire considering half the clothes in my local H&M look like they’ve never got within 10 metres of an iron in their short lifespan. 

15. LINSI Elbow-Sleeve Print T-Shirt: £10.92, One Size

If I had to pick one more favourite piece, it would be this graphic top that I wore underneath a pink chiffon Ebay dress. It looks and fits exactly like the photos on the website and I have to restrain myself wasting a wear of it just lounging around the house because it’s also ridiculously comfy.

16. LINSI Plaid Straight-Cut Pants in Orange: Size M

These trousers are currently out of stock, however I will say that of everything I’ve ordered they’re probably the least comfy and on that basis I’m not sure if I’d buy them again. They look great and I will push myself to wear them for that reason but they’re the kind of itchy fabric that I rush to take off and swap for some pyjamas the moment I get into the house. That being said, I don’t know if this is an issue everyone will have because I am someone that is overly sensitive to fabrics so you might not even notice it, plus-stretchy waistband! Which is a plus for sure.

I was also very impressed by the accessories I ordered, which once again completely surpassed my quality expectations. Pretty much everything pictured here was under £5 apart from the shoulder bag which was closer to 10, and when you consider that the price of these is inflated at the moment because of the resurgence of the Y2K trend, this is still ridiculously cheap.

The prices are definitely a concern of mine because unfortunately, when products are this cheap there’s usually somebody being exploited down the line. Since I made this order in May, I’ve had a small slip up with a Motel Rocks order, but other than that have cut out fast fashion completely. I want to be as ethical a consumer as I can, and that’s something I considered before making this post; that being said, YesStyle, actually a Hong-Kong based company in spite of it being touted as the destination for k-fashion, was recognised as a "Caring Company" between 2014 and 2019 (I don’t think this has been updated for 2020 yet given the circumstances) by the Hong Kong Council of Social Service. From what I can find online, this award is given to Hong Kong companies that demonstrate good corporate citizenship and responsibility. Whilst this seems like reassuring information, like I said, I find it hard to believe that the production of clothes selling for these kinds of prices isn’t outsourced to low wage workers at some stage of the process. It’s a hard to know where to stand, because obviously the fast fashion industry DOES create jobs that people rely on to sustain themselves but at what point does the treatment of workers in developing countries negate the opportunities the industry provides here in the UK? “There is no ethical consumption under capitalism” and all that but shouldn’t we try to make a change where we can? I agree with the statement though at times it can come across like a deflection of individual responsibility. Plus there’s the environmental side of the debate-having to fly the garments over from the point of manufacture obviously takes a massive amount of fuel which it goes without saying is hugely detrimental to our planet. The sizing is also an issue; the average clothes size here in the UK is a 12, I believe, and yet a size medium seems to come up as about an 8. Asian sizes do tend to come up smaller in general but at the same time, if that’s the case, as an international retailer shouldn’t YesStyle at least address that somewhere on the site?

I don’t want to end on a negative note because compared to sites like Zaful, SheIn, and even UK based retailers such as Pretty Little Thing and Boohoo, YesStyle appears to be one of the better ones. The quality of their garments is incredible for the prices and I admire the transparency of having reviews for every product be so readily accessible. It’s also great to see that they have a section specifically addressing their response to the COVID-19 pandemic, AND  offer refunds to their customers for import fees. God, I don’t know why this isn’t something that more websites do? I will never forget being slapped with a £100+ invoice for a Dolls Kill (bleurgh) order I made once back in the more impulsive shopping days and all the Karen-y emails I sent back and forth. Import fees are understandable but international retailers should definitely make it clearer how these are calculated and give more of an indication of just how steep these fees might be if you’re making a large order. It almost seems disingenuous not to do so especially when said retailers most likely know that customers wouldn’t make these orders if they had an idea of what it would cost just to get access to the goods they’ve already paid for.

I won’t ramble on for much longer because there is so much important shit going on in the world right now and I don’t want to take up time that could be spent reading more valuable posts-with the shooting of Jacob Blake earlier this week, and the death of Chadwick Boseman earlier today (I can’t imagine the amount of mental and physical strength it takes to film all the movies he did back to back whilst dealing with colon cancer), the most important thing to do is listen to how black individuals are feeling and what they are thinking right now. I will keep an eye on my dashboard and retweet what I can. Thanks for reading. Even if you’re just here for the photos, I appreciate it! And I don’t know if I’ve said it before but please know that my messages are always open to anyone struggling, especially with everything that’s going on at the moment. I don’t claim to be a professional but I can always listen. Lots of love<3

Lauren x

#k-fashion #streetstyle #k-pop #fashion #fashion blog #style #style inspo #fashion review #yesstyle #stealthespotlight #blackpink

[stilinsk1]

Cole’s interview for Boys by Girls Magazine, part 3

(part 1, part 2) Sorry for every mistake and typo! It becomes quite powerful though - when you posted a picture we had taken of you, within an hour we had a significant amount of new followers. So it means your have the power to impact people and projects you feel passionate about. Sure, and to curate a kind of artistic lineage, so I think that's special. And that's the duty of mainstream artistry or someone who has received success, in my personal opinion, to curate an artistic collection and lineage that will influence society in a way that can truly bring about beneficial change. And your publication is dealing with the concept of masculinity in a way that's very important to me, and should be very important to all men in our society. I love that when you tweet, sometimes the whole world talks about it. It's funnt, I think people sometimes take my tweets too seriously. My twitter has always been a vehicle for shit-posting. I've never really taken it seriously, so when people do take it seriously, it always takes me by surprise.

We need to talk about 'Riverdale' as well. I just love talking about feelings. It's a passion of mine. Yeah, me too. I love you as Jughead. I just learned that you originally read for Archie.

Yes, I was given the script for Archie, and I had read one scene with Jughead and loved him. So I said: 'wow, I've got to try for this role'. I feel like he's a bit like you. Is that a fair or unfair comparison? Like I mentioned earlier - if people are not saying that, you're not doing a good job. That's the currency of a quality role. Your ability to get into character comes from a resonation you have empathetically with the role itself. That empathy is based on your lived experiences, so I resonate with Jughead very much. I mean, I was the cringiest kid in school. Jughead, to me, is the very image of a millennial teenager that many people fear, and that's what I live about his character. I had interpreted Jughead as tremendously pretentious, and it's very funny that whe people watch 'Riverdale' now, he has become a sort of heartthrob figure. Anyone who thinks they can write about their own town as a teenager, to me, that is a really pretentious move. Striving to be unique and non-conformist, I really resonated with him. Then as I got to rea more of his content I found out that he was also te narrator of the show, shich meant that he was the perspective device, which I really enjoyed. So I went in for the audition, and didn't know if I wanted to do acting or not - I was in this strange space in my life. I had just come off watching a ton of "Twilight Zone", and my audition was the whole opening monologue, so I read it just like Rod Serling in the "Twilight Zone", which they loved. When I found out it was going to be a mix of "Twin Peaks" and these other stereotypical campy teen dramas, I thought: 'fuck, this is going to be a lot of fun', and I was fully onboard. You said in another interview that Jughead struggles with vulnerability. Totally. I think Jughead's struggle with vulnerability is something I struggle with, but that's because we are both young men. Jughead turns away from emotional connection when he gets too close to people, as  an attempt to safeguard himself from becoming hurt. Just a product of men being told they can't be weak. That's how I had grounded it: in the inability to be vulnerable in that kind of physiology. Where is Cole with vulnerability, are you comfortable being vulnerable? I am now. Or at least, I'm more comfortable. I think vulnerability is the petri dish for growth. Full vulnerability is something people work at, which I will try to work at my whole life. Every time you enter into a vulnerable state, you enter into a right of passage, in my opinion. So much growth comes from the ability to make yourself vulnerable, because you immediately clarify what makes you nervous, and what makes you feel strong in those moments. I'm a firm believer that history of human survival is essentialy a history of triumph over their vulnerabilities. I truly think that bravely stepping into vulnerability is the greatest and most effective way to grow as a human being. Now, vulnerability for men is one of those things that froma very young age is seen as forbidden or weak. Since men are quite young, we are taught that weakness and vulnerability is something we should avoid, and the truth  is that a person only becomes strong trough recognising their weakness and addressing vulnerability - especially emotional vulnerability - and coming to terms with that. I think those are very important words for young men. The truth is, I was a very socially anxious kid. I was homeschooled, so raised inside a soundstage - not knowing how to interact with the world around me. I used comedy a lot to cover up my vulnerability, as an attempt to diffuse an otherwise hostile or threatening situation to me. And then as I embraced vulnerability when I got older, my own personal insecurity, femininity and all the other concepts that I have within me - I had the condifence to walk around and truly feel like I had mastered a space that was otherwise foreign to me. Especially during puberty, when we're getting all these complicated ideas about sexuality, maturation, social standing and professional pursuit. If we sat back and took the time to analyse why those things made us uncomfortable, we would have the confidence to take the world around us by storm. What are your thoughts around masculinity and how it is changing in the young generation of today? I can only speak from my experience, but in my youth I had experienced the world around me as an intersection between the expectation of confidence in young men and the simultaneous suppression of a large aspect of that confidence, which is an embracing of a more feminine nature than men often carry. I think the definition of masculinity in a wider context nw is undoing a lot of that, which I think is great. It's much more widely accepted to be in touch with other qualities of your masculinity. I'm of a mind that the core tenancy of modern masculinity still resonates with an ancient understanding of out roles within society, whilst simultaneously accepting that society is changing, and adapting to a viw that is fresh. For me, some fundamental tendencies still exist within masculinity, which are a kind of caretaking role, respect for your fellows and an ability to provide. But I think unlike two of three generations ago when the concept of provision was a financial definition, now the concept of the provider includes a) providing and caring for yourself and b) providing and caring for people you love emotionally. I believe part of the redefinition is the ability to recognise what aspects of yourself are affecting your emotions and how can you understand that side of yourself. Understand how to resonate and become more empathetic with the people in your lif. I think sexuality for men, in the States or in the west really, still preaches a lot of elimination of weakness. I can only speak from my own experience, but I am my strongest form when I can fully comprehend why I'm thinking a certain way and what is bringing me to an action. I'm of a mind that true strenght is the ability to take care of yourself without harming other people in the  process. And I think, if your masculinity involves the destruction of anther person's masculinity, because it's an opposition to yours, we have to break down and understand that this is because you ultimately feel threatened by a version that is different to yourself. Masculinity and strenght are the products of your ability to feel secure with all sides of yourself. However you find that security, as long as it's not the destruction of another person's security, is in my opinion, the modern form of masculinity. 'Riverdale' season two! Season ne left us with unanswered questions. What can you tell us, and what's in store for Jughead. Jughead was originally Archie's conscious, and in the final episode of season one he was revealed as the soul of Riverdale - as the moral underpinning of a society that is going to through tremendous moral fluentation. The audience can view Jughead and whatever happens to Jughead as either an enlightening or destruction of the soul of Riverdale. If the sould of Riverdale is being confrtonted with these problems, what does that mean for the town as a whole? In this season he finds himself with one foot in the north side and one foot in the south side, with an impending civil war on the horizon - shaking his previous standing, of conscientious objector and this observer, forcing his hand into play. In this season, Jughead  is very much learning that you can't make everyone happy, and that his fear of involving himself in the issues that are surrounding him was actually a fear of him suffering or making anyone displeased with him as a person. He has to address and embrace the fact that he's going to make people unhappy, and that it is part of his life. All this drama, but one thing is central throughout the show; those kids would do anything for each other in the midst of all that chaos. Yes, what 75 years of it being a comic has allowed us to do is not having to explain how deeply connected the characters are episode after episode. These characters are so well established in the comic lineage that people don't need a backstory on them, which has given us a lot of flexibility. Having taken time off from acting to live in 'the real world', now having returned and also doing your own photography - how do you feel you're developing as an artist? For the longest time I was working on projects and taking jobs that I didn't really resonate with the way I do now with my projects. My photography gave me a tremendous amount of self-confidence, which comes back to masculinity and all those things we talked about. The ability to express myself in a vulnerable way and show my eye in a curated personal gallery space, game me great confidence. That confidence has now lent itself to a personal artistic lineage taht has given me a foot in the door to the creation of passion projects that I would never have had the ability to do if I hadn't made myself vulnerable enough - which I'm very thankful for. I think, my acting and my photography are two completely different arts. acting for me is an empathetic creation of a character you're trying to breathe and weave life into, but you're essentially a cipher for other people's narratives. You are playing with the tools in someone else's toolbox. Photography allows me to express precisely what I want to express, using all the tools in my own toolbox, with the assistance of people who want to play the part of cipher for me. I think the meeting of both of those worlds will eventually culminate in a directorial professional pursuit. I'm trying to find ways of blending those two worlds, so I could come out with narratives and stories that truly resonate with people people from both an acting perspective and a photographic perspective. You mentioned that there is a certain loneliness that comes with celebrity. With the success of your return, without your brother this time, putting you right back in the limelight - how are you handling this now? I experience it in a different way now, because I made the conscious decision to return, and I understand that fanaticism is part of celebrity culture. The loneliness that comes with it now is something I'm much more prepared for after I took rim away to understand myself. When I was a child it was a much different story, because I hadn't made the choice to immerse myself in a world of fanaticism. It also had repercussions, which it took me a long time to deal with. Some people find religion, some people do drugs, some people branch out sexually - everyone has their own way of dealing with it. I chose education. That's a pretty healthy way of dealing with it. I thought it would be. Me choosing education also gave me an ability to be much more prepared for what I'm immersed in now. It feels better. What dreams are next on the agenda for you? I'd like to start doing films. I would like to act in a challenging roles, and make films as well. I think the culmination of my acting and photography is the inevitable conclussion of a sort of directorial debut.  I think you're too much of a creative to eventually not get involved in making movies. I truly believe that. You have too much to express. I hope, eventually, but I also feel like I need a lot more time and experience in other aspects. I think acting wise, my brother and I have consistently been in competition with an image of ourselves in the past, and the industry's image of us as studio money makers and our ability to pull an audience. Now that I've been trained well enough, I'm more prepared as an actor to take on the kind of challenging roles that I aspire to. What type of roles would you like to play? Just different. Every time. But human roles where each one is different from the next - something I can sit back and be proud of. I'd love to see you do some really emotive roles. Your performance as Jughead already hits me straight in the heart. Excellent, I appreciate taht. The only thing that's stopping my brother and I now is other people's perception. I think you're doing a really good job in changing that perception. That's the hope, and over time and by doing the right thing consistently, I think people will start to get it. That was the long-term grudge to bear when we were going to college and thinking about how we were going to play it right and be comfortable with this. For us, the answer was always to do something interesting, and simply: be good people. What mark do you want to leave on the world? For years and years I looked at the arts as something less than the sciences. I thought the truest way to make my mark on the world would be to push human knowledge forward in some way or shape. I started taking archaeology as a an attempt to leave a mark on the world, and I had taken a class about palaeolithic civilisation and I brought up art as a luxury - essentially I was saying that art was something that came after the bellies were full, the sleep was had and the thirst was quenched. My professor corrected me pretty firmly in front of the entire class, and said that art, storytelling, myth and oral narration was hands down the only way humans were able to survive. The ability to portray a message was redefined to me as necessary to life itself. Artistry, if we look at it historically, is always the product of its time period. The greatest artists were always the ones that had a full comprehension of the society around them, and the ability to tactfully push the edges of their society - broaden it just a bit. Now we live in an age where the boundaries of society are no longer strict and inflexible, but rather something all-encompassing. Figures like John Lennon, Gandhi and Martin Luther King JR. - all these men had one thing in common: they all preached peace and love as the fundamentals to the operation of a healthy society - and all those guys were murdered. So I've got to figure out a way to preach that without getting murdered, haha.

#cole sprouse #cole sprouse for boys by girls #boys by girls magazine #i'm so proud of this man #he is an amazing person/genius #m1ne

[artificialqueens]

See You in April

Hey guys! So, this is my first ever submit so please, be open with me and give me any and all prompts/criticisms/feedback, all will be greatly appreciated. The name’s New Queen on the Block, but no one has time to type that out so NQOTB will do just fine!

I’m currently working on a couple of one shots and possibly another series, but for now I’m planning this as a three-parter (unless you all hate it, in that case I shall never write a word again.) But for now, here’s some real-world Trixya angst, technically set in the future as it is set after Katya comes back from her current social media break and was inspired by Trixie’s comment on her Insta post explaining her impending absence. For any eagle eyed readers who may remember my ask, this will also incorporate Trixya’s original music that she has been performing on her Ages 3 and Up tour. At the moment it’s Katya’s POV, may switch it with each chapter. And don’t worry, there is plenty of smut and fluff in the works to please as many people as possible! Enjoy :) 

The door of the plane opened and the Los Angeles heat smacked Brian in the face immediately. The last six weeks that he had been in Thailand had been during monsoon season so he had almost forgotten what the sun felt like on his paling skin. He drank it in whilst making his way into the airport and let a small smile creep onto his face. Home.

He always had the luck of being the last person left at baggage claim, so he sat himself down and switched his phone on for the first time in almost two months and prepared himself for the tide of messages to start coming in. Well fuck me, Barbra, people really do give a shit about you. 347 unread texts, 1,409 unread emails (that his assistant said she would handle, the cunt) and more tweets and DM’s and mentions than he could ever possibly count. This was going to take days to sort through. He quickly tapped onto his inbox and scrolled through to find the people he wanted to text to let them know he had landed safely - his mom, his sister, and his assistant. They were the only ones that knew where he had been so for now they were the only ones that needed replying to. Still, his eyes darted around looking for one other name to see if contact had been made. It had. But he couldn’t deal with that right now.

“Uh, excuse me, you’re Katya right?” A young girl he had recognised from the departure lounge in Bangkok came up to him and looked sheepishly at the ground after she finished speaking. She obviously knew he was still taking his break and didn’t want to hound him, which he thought was incredibly endearing.

“I sure am Mom! What’s up doll?” He tried to make himself sound as cheery as possible even though the thought of being asked for a selfie right now made him want to yank his own eyeball out. The girl giggled and shuffled in her feet.

“Don’t worry I’m not gonna ask for anything, I just figured that all the red luggage with the hammer and sickle on it was yours and it’s going round on the belt right about now.”

“Fuck, no way! Thanks Barbra.” Brian grabbed his backpack and went to run towards his luggage before he stopped and turned back on his feet towards the girl. He shoved his hand into the front pocket of his backpack, gave the girl one of the tiny hands that was hiding in there, and kissed her square on the mouth whilst he took a photo. “For being so cool, that’s the first picture I’ll post when I’m back on Instagram. Bye princess!”

His assistant Amy was waiting outside for him in her basic white girl SUV. He gave her a hug, threw his luggage in the trunk and crawled into the back seat and spread out as wide as he could. A 16 hour flight in a tiny cramped seat after 6 weeks of stretching your body and contorting it in inhuman ways was torturous. “Uhhhhhhh, holy suburban family spacious comfort Batman!”

“Alright bitch, calm down. I’ve had your bodily fluids in my car far too much for my liking.” They giggled as Amy climbed into the front seat and headed off towards Brian’s apartment. The conversation stayed pretty normal for a while, with Brian filling her in on everything he did during his trip and all the new techniques he had learnt. Amy filled him in on what had been happening on How To Get Away With Murder and all sub-par Hollywood gossip. She was just in the middle of explaining Annalise Keating’s newest weave when Brian could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. He figured it was his mom calling so excitedly took his phone from his pocket and signalled for Amy to pause the conversation. When he saw the name on the screen, his heart fell into his ass. I’ve been back not even an hour. What the fuck?

His face must have dropped because he could see Amy looking at him out of the corner of his eye. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and turned the music up on the radio. Amy reached over and turned it down again. Oh good, I’m not getting away with it.

“You gonna pick up at all or is this it now?” He couldn’t quite pick up on the tone in her voice but he knew she was trying to edge very carefully around the conversation.

“I don’t know. I’ve been back not even an hour, I don’t wanna deal with that shit right now. It’s why I took off in first place, Ames.”

“I get that, I totally do. But I just wanna say… the reason I haven’t got through your emails is because I’ve been hounded by him every day. Every damn day. You didn’t even tell him you were going, Bri. He was worried.”

Brian could feel the irritation bubbling up in his stomach. “Why should I tell him? Why has he got a right? I haven’t broken any kind of business agreements, no contracts have been voided, no gigs missed. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Of course you haven’t. But maybe… maybe just look at his messages. Just so you know what to expect and what you might start off saying when you do decide to open up shop again.”

He exhaled dramatically because he knew she was right, again. That bitch. He took his phone back out of his pocket and scrolled back to the night where his mind had decided he needed to make a change.

01/03/2017 21:14 Trixie: Hey, I just wanted to say thanks about telling Dan that the whole “you being attracted to me” thing is just a joke for the fans. I appreciate it, especially cos you know how much he is getting irritated by it all now. I think now that you’ve said it he won’t be worried as much. Side note - I need you to keep that tan forever because it was doing the most and I’m here for it. T x

23:03 Trixie: Are you okay, did you fall asleep? Or are you smothering yourself in tan now you know I like it? :)

00:07 Trixie: Bitch.

00:19 Trixie: Mother, I’m getting paranoid that my best friend is ignoring me again…

02:38 Trixie: Okay. I’m gonna try again tomorrow. Or you know, just let me know when you wanna hear from me. I’ll be here.

02/03/2017 08:31 Trixie: Can’t sleep. Had a dream that you totally just stopped replying to all of my texts.

22:56 Trixie: I would literally be okay with you just sending me a blank text right now so that I know you’re okay.

04/03/2017 14:10 Trixie: Social media break?

14:12 Trixie: What the fuck is going on, Kat?

14:14 Trixie: I’m worried. You’re worrying me. If that’s what you were trying to do, you’ve done it. Now please stop it and just answer your phone and let me know what it is I’ve done so I can undo it.

06/03/2017 Trixie: Someone just tweeted that they saw you at LAX???

That was the last text Brian had seen before he got on the plane. He had told his mom, his sister and Amy to not tell anyone where he was going or why, including his business partner and best friend. They all knew why even though it wasn’t discussed.

Something in his mind just clicked that first night - you need to get the fuck away from here, bitch. Away from this. Away from him. He couldn’t deal with the hot and cold any longer. How could you thank someone for reassuring their boyfriend that you weren’t fucking them in one sentence and then talk about liking their tanned body in the next? He couldn’t keep up anymore, and he didn’t want to. No, he couldn’t want to. He knew that he probably shouldn’t have ignored all of the messages but he went into lockdown mode and just got himself away as quickly as he possibly could. Part of him thought if he ignored the messages for long enough they would just go away, but of course they didn’t. They multiplied. He looked at the number in the corner of the screen. 165. One hundred and sixty fucking five texts. Hasn’t this bitch been touring constantly? Every single day, he had texted him a variation of asking him where he was, if he was safe and if there was anything to do to make things right. There were a few bitchy remarks, and apologies straight after them, but otherwise it was the same worry every day. It was the most consistent he’d seen him with anything other than his make up.

“Well, he’s sure held onto this one. If he knew my phone was off and he’s still sent me this many texts then I feel sorry for your phones asshole cos he must have fucked it.”

They pulled up outside Brian’s apartment block. “It wasn’t just me. He called your mom too. Went to Boston for a gig and went to her house asking if you were there. He’s been commenting on old pictures of you two online. And posting videos of him playing old country songs looking like he’s about to burst into tears. The fans have been clocking it, all the queens are starting to murmur too.”

Brian burst into a fit of awkward laughter that quickly transformed into a worried grimace. “Are you for real?”

“I wish I wasn’t. Bri, I think he’s really caught up about you leaving. You might wanna check your voicemail too - he called me two nights ago drunk as a skunk telling me he had called you and left you a message.”

“Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all of his carpenter friends. I’ll check when I get upstairs. Thanks for picking me up, babe.” He kissed Amy goodbye and lugged his suitcases into the building, up into the elevator and then finally through the door of his apartment. He collapsed onto his sofa and took a minute to process everything Amy had just told him. He went to Boston? He’s being a messy bitch all over the Internet? He’s getting drunk and leaving voicemails?

The voicemail. This should be interesting. He put his phone on speaker and played the message as he made himself a coffee to stop this jet lag from taking him too soon. He pressed play - all he could hear was background noise, in a bar or club, some shouting, a familiar voice slurring “fuck you” to someone and then the din quieting down as the other Brian presumably made his way outside of the bar.

“Katya? Katya, did you pick up? Kat? Hellooooo? Answer me you whore. Hey, fuck you buddy, I’ll be as loud as I want my FRIEND IS ON THE PHONE AND I NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!!”

Oh lord, he was wasted. What a sloppy bitch! What was he playing at just picking a fight with a stranger? Brian continued to listen as he found the coffee beans and chucked them into the fancy machine Trixie had bought him for his birthday last year. He could hear some kind of muted shouting as Trixie presumably gave the innocent stranger a mouthful of her whiskey-fuelled frustration.

“Kat, you still there? A-are you there? Answer me… please.” Brian could hear the desperation in his voice and felt a pang in his stomach. He shouldn’t have just upped and left without telling him where he was going. If Trixie had done the same thing he would have scoured the earth until he found him. But that was different - he loved him. He heard a muffled sob and could picture him, on his own, worried out of his mind that he had done something to push his friend over the edge so far that he had to disappear altogether. You’re a real dick, Barbra. 

“I just want to know that you’re okay and that you’re safe. Your mom told me you were and I believe her but I need to hear you say it. I need to see your face, hear your voice, anything. Fucking anything. It’s been six weeks, Kat. Six weeks!” Uh oh, here it came - the Trixie Mattel Drunken Temper Tantrum. “Why the fuck have you left me here for six fucking weeks? Why don’t you want me in your life any more? I can’t deal with this. I have to see you or I’m going to lose my mind. Why would you just up and leave? Don’t you understand that I love you?! I love you, Brian. I love you.”

He dropped his mug full on scalding hot coffee on to his feet, but he couldn’t feel a thing. He had gone completely numb at the sound of the words he had always wanted to hear. He ran towards the phone as if it was Trixie there in person. He had to be closer, somehow. It had gone quiet on the other side as the younger man realised what he had allowed his lips to release.

“Shit. Fuck. Fucking stupid. You’re not even gonna hear this anyway so it’s whatever. Hey listen, if you’re with Violet or Alaska or whoever and you’re listening to this next to them then just… enjoy the laugh. You’re welcome”

Silence.

He stared at the phone for a good five minutes, as if something else might magically happen. When it didn’t, he played the message three more times until he regained the feeling in his limbs and his heart travelled down from the back of his throat. His feet moved before his brain did and he found himself grabbing his keys and heading towards the door. He had to go to him. He threw open the front door and found Trixie sitting on the floor opposite, head in his hands. He jumped at the sound of the door and quickly threw down his hood. The light in the hallway shone down harshly onto his face, showing puffy lids and reddened eyes that couldn’t have slept for the past couple of days. He yanked his sleeves over his hands and got up sheepishly, glancing up to the older man’s eyes, down to the floor and then straight back up to meet his gaze with a faltered sigh.

“Can we talk?”

#trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #angst #see you in april #nqotb #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant