#I’m sure he talked to the others but bestie you’re lookin rat-like yourself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelicorn · 4 years

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Chapter 4 Reactions “Why do the dementors look like crusty labias?” -My sister upon witnessing a close up of the whispers.

Chapter 1-2 Reactions

Chapter 3 Reactions

I present to you my reactions to playing FF7R for the first time. I voice recorded myself as I played through each chapter. I finished the game and will slowly be writing down most of my commentary as I played. My sister, who has no prior exposure to the lore of FF7 (sequels, movies, novellas, etc.), watched me as well and I will be including her fresh perspective here as well. I also use the word “bitch” affectionately. I call my besties by that word so if you are easily offended, don’t read.

If you hate any other ship beside your own, don’t read this. In this particular reaction, my sister and I comment jokingly at the interactions between Jessie/Cloud and Cloud/Tifa. Our reactions and preferences aren’t an attempt at disregarding any other ships out there. They’re our opinions and will never be determining factors on the validity of your personal ship. With that said, here are our reactions!

Ok, fuck, we’re going to have to sneak out and go topside with Jessie... (sis: He’s gonna fuck her.. me: He’s going topside of the plate! Not topside of her! sis: I know, I just wanna piss you off.)

*When Cloud says all SOLDIERS receive training to operate motorbikes* Sis: If he’s lying about being a SOLDIER, why are his eyes the color of mako if all SOLDIER bois have them? me: that’s why normal people have to finish the game to find out.

Sis: JESSIE IS A HELLA THOT, SHE’D BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Me:... Why can I totally picture that?

*Cloud tells Jessie to get off after Jessie begins narrating themselves as a couple* Sis: Do guys believe girls think this attitude is cool? Yuck.

Jessie isn’t deterred by Cloud’s foul attitude at all. You go, bitch!

*When Roche appears* Sis: uhhh... why is adult Demyx in this game? me: He doesn’t look--oh. HAHA

Cloud is so badass.

Sis: WTF IS THIS PLACE SO NICE FOR? PEOPLE BE UP HERE LIVING COMFORTABLE WHILE PEOPLE DOWN BELOW DON’T EVEN HAVE PAVED ROADS, HOW DO THESE RICH BITCHES SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THERE’S CHILDREN LIVING IN SHIT CONDITIONS RIGHT UNDER THEIR FEET?!?!?!!! ME: Tricia, relax. It’s just a game. Sis: Sorry, the social worker side of me is coming out.

The music is sooo pretty. I need to learn this on guitar.

Her house is so fucking cute.

You know what? Cloud’s kinda like a cat. Cute, but can be total bitches.

Does Jessie’s mom approve of Biggs for Jessie...? (Sis: I approve of Biggs for anybody. He should be the main character. Cloud’s “tew kewl for yew” attitude is a turn off. He’s hot though, so...)

I know I have to sneak into the room, but I wanna hear more of their conversation! (Sis: No time to fuck around, bitch. Get what you need and leave, here, let me do it. Me: No, no, you can play the whole game on your own when I’m done.)

Oh shit, Jessie has a very sweet side to her. I love this bitch.

She’s doing this cause all bc of her dad. Man, Jessie’s so special.

Cloud, Biggs, & Wedge are bros.

*gasp* IS THIS THE PROMISE SCENE? (Sis: Tifa’s so cute! Cloud’s got a lame rat tail, ew. At least he isn’t too much of a dick.)

Why are they showing so much cloti content every chapter??? (Sis: bc obviously he’s been crushing on her since they were lil churrens)

Sis: Cloud looks like he get emotional and teary eyed every time he thinks of Tifa. Like his eyes change in size and...kinda change in color. Like.. them bitches starting to look blue. Me: *gasps* I kinda see it. Definitely his eyes get bigger... Sis: He’s such a typical haole, blonde hair, blue eyes, he got the baby red flush on his face too, soooooo cute! me: You were literally shitting on him a few minutes ago, what changed?

Sis: You’re like one hit KO-ing everyone. Did you fucking over level yourself again? Me: I...think I did. Sis: This is why you need to learn restraint.

*Wedge gets bit* Sis: Wedge is the MVP bruh

Sis: You have to fight adult Demyx again? Me: Clearly his name is Roche. His name is right there.

Holy shit, Wedge really is fucking MVP

Sis: Who are the hazmat suit lookin’ bitches? Me: The rest of AVALANCHE. Sis: There’s more of them??? Me: Did you really think all of AVALANCHE was just Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, Barret and Tifa?

If you don’t let your friends look at your singed ass, you’re not truly friends.

Cloud is chuckling! Sis: Feel, don’t conceal, bitch! LET IT GO~

Sis: Is grandma over there hitting the guard?

*Cloud mentions Jessie’s dad* Sis: Wow, did Cloud fucking just--fuck you Cloud, breaking bro code. Snitches get stitches.

Did they have Jessie strapped up with Biggs so that Cloud won’t talk to her about her dad during the parachute dive? LOOOOL

Biggs wrapping his hands around her waist, bruh.

Holy shit Jessie is giving me anxiety.

Biggs’ face nearly collided with Cloud’s I’m dying.

“pay you in full” Sis: they’re def gonna fuck tonight. Ohh my gosh, but what if she tells Tifa?

Sis: yeah Cloud, why you gotta be such a hardass?

Wedge’s smile is so precious, we need to protect him.

Sis: We’re on our way to fuck bitches~

Oh my gosh, Biggs is a sensitive guy secretly. So cute!

“Life’s a stage and love’s a play.” Wedge, who hurt you? Was it Jessie? Let me go talk to her for you.

Wedge is a cat mom? Maybe that’s why Wedge is so attached to Cloud. Bc Cloud is a grumpy cat lol.

OH SHIT. Did she just plant one on his cheek?

Sis: She wants his dick. She’s thirsty. Me: Wedge warned us about her. She’s just playing a game! Sis: Then ditch the bitch. Me: When you say bitch, it sounds mean! I don’t want to be mean to her, but I don’t want to give her hope. Decent guys don’t lead bitches on. Sis: You were trying to get into Tifa’s room at the start of the last chapter, you freak. Decent, my ass.

I’m sorry, Jessie, I love you, bitch, but...not happening. Sis: She’s so unfazed by it! See? She’s peachy beachy. She probably has other options. Now let’s see if Biggs is home! Me: I need to see what the other option would lead to.

*We paused the game and watched the no promises option* She legit pretended to be excited about making pizza for us and she changes up on us like that with her “psyche!” bull shit, oh my goshhhh, she’s playing the game! Sis: Love’s a play, life’s the stage.

Sis: Biggs is a neat freak AND handsome AND sensitive? Throw Cloud tf away. Make Biggs the main character.

Do people just not lock their doors in this hood? Sis: If you don’t have valuable shit, there’s nothing to steal.

Tifa is in Cloud’s room! Sis: Stop trying to get them to fuck. Tifa’s not gonna let them fuck until they’re official official. She’s too classy for that.

He’s trying to get her to open up! He wants to spend more time with her! Ugh, He’s trying so hard to be aloof and caring at the same time!

Sis: She won’t share all her secrets. She has a fucking punching bag in her room, she’s strong enough to handle her issues without leaning on no fuckboi. See, look she’s changing the subject. She won’t even sit directly next to him. Cloud scares the bitch, why would she wanna get close to him after he tried to kill Jeffrey. Me: Johnny. Are you sure you haven’t played FF7 before? Sis: If I did, I wouldn’t be asking 21 fucking questions every 10 minutes.

Sis: *sarcastic* Wow, I love how he quietly says good night to her right before she shuts the door, like he can’t fucking say it to her face properly. He’s a coward! Me: Everyone is shitting on Cloud! Sis: He’s frustrating! Me: He’s traumatized! Sis: From what...? me: *realizing I may have spoiled the story for her* let’s play and find out, shall we? Sis: Woooow...

*confused bc this wasn’t in the original* Whaaaat is going on? Sis: Why do the dementors look like crusty labias? Me: Can we fucking play this game in peace?

Sis: Holy shit, a hoard of labia dementors!

This is fucking weird. I need to use Tifa to stagger these bitches.

THEY STOLE OUR GODDESS, FUCK NO. Sis: They ain’t do shit on her. She’s strong af, look at how little damage they’re doing to her.

HOLY SHIT JESSIE NO. Sis: damn, maybe if he fucked her, this wouldn’t have happened. me: you’re joking right? sis: obviously. but then, why are you laughing at my joke, huuuh?

Cloud is still tryna be cool, carrying Jessie bridal style. Like um, Barret and Tifa could have easily carried her bridal style into the bar themselves. Stop stealing the show all the time.

You think Tifa’s a little jealous? sis: no, only insecure girls would think that. Jessie can’t walk and Cloud was only trying to help. Barret would probably throw her over his shoulder if he tried to help her up and that’d probably fuck up her leg more. He has a fucking gun for an arm, tf is he gonna do to help? Cloud’s just being a decent guy. A decent guy who won’t try to go into their crush’s room at night without being invited, weirdo. Me: *I’m speechless, but grinning*...

Sis: See? He can tell Tifa’s nervous. I honestly couldn’t tell at all. And he’s telling her to breathe. Jessie was clearly in distress. Tifa was too, but we couldn’t tell cuz a bitch is strong. Cloud pays attention to her too, why’d she be jealous for? You’re the insecure bitch, LOOOL, just kidding. Me: Woooow, you make a good point, but you had to use me to get there? You biiiitch!

Barret said the line! ohhh my goshhhh, my heart.

sis: “play it cool” he says, when he’s standing fucking over 6 feet tall, buff as fuck with a gun arm, Cloud with a bigass sword, and Tifa looking fly as fuck. They stick out from the rest of these normies, talk about obvious.

This concludes our reactions for chapter 4!

Just a little context, my sister is studying in social work and aims to be a social worker in a few years while currently working in an office for her college that handles campus recycling, promoting eco-friendly alternatives and hosting events that promote the reduction of waste. She loves that the story is about people trying to rescue the planet and plans on playing this game herself! We are very close and don’t mind being a little mean to each other! It’s all in good fun. The whole insecure commentary my sister made was due to my personal issues I had experienced in a long time relationship I had where I caught my boyfriend of 5 years cheating on me with one of my closest friends. I bare no ill will, however, that experience left me with an aversion to dating seriously. I recognize that this incident left me with insecurity issues and always found my self questioning the sincerity of people’s actions. My sister claims that Cloud was just being a decent person helping Jessie, while I saw it as something worth being jealous over. Having my sister watch along and reacting with me is helping me view this story from an objective, unbiased perspective where it isn’t tainted by my own experiences. It’s really interesting and refreshing and an eye opening experience. I’d love to read up on any other gameplay reaction as well, so send them my way!

#final fantasy 7 remake #Final Fantasy VII Remake #FF7R #ff7r spoilers #ffvii remake #FF7R Reactions #cloti #cloud x tifa

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