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spongebob-connoisseur · 2 years

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stupid question but who in the cast would be a tumblr sexyman

Sorry this is an old ask, I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long. I did initially respond but tumblr deleted my original answer for some reason.

Anyways I'm redoing it. I know this is referencing the MildBobbySauce post about who would be tumblr sexymen. I largely agree with that list. So instead of repeating. I'm just gonna explain why.

**this is a joke btw

Mr. Krabs - I've already seen too many people being 📯 for Mr. Krabs. Gruffy dilf who's been in the navy. Y'all are nasty but respect😤

Plankton - both the musical and the tv show, even the voice actor somehow. A lot of people LOVE Plankton. Its the deep voice and rage and charisma paired with a good heaping of tragedy. A good combination. His musical counterpart is good looking. His voice actor has a lot of fangirls amongst the SB fandom. This is all no coincidence.

Squidward - both the musical and the show. If SB came out today I just KNOW Squidward would instantly become a tumblr sexyman. Tall, lanky, nasally voice. I can see his human counterpart being drawn with an oblong face and longer nose. Idk that's usually the stuff you see reoccurring in the most generic male tumbkr sexymen. Squidward's features would instantly be woobified into the most stereotypical sexyman imaginable. Minus the suit.

But that aside, he's snarky and sarcastic. He's aloof and disinterested. He's a snooty artist type. Come on. I know all the signs. Also his musical counterpart was *chefs kiss*

I actually had a bit of a crush on his musical counterpart 👉👈 like waaaay back when I was 16🤢

The Flying Dutchman - he's a ghost pirate. Ghost pirate dilf man. Idk I know some people who really like him, I wish them all good luck. I simply enjoy the chaos he brings along with him into any episode.

Dutchman's sea monster date - I wrote a list about tumblr sexymen so I know what to write here. This one wasn't on the list but I had to add her. Monsterfuckers gonna LOVE this one. She's so powerful she gets to on this list.

Charlton Hawkfish - you cannot google this character without fanart of him shirtless coming up.

Perch Perkins - I'm surprised he doesn't have more fangirls, suit, voice, generally decent looking lolllll. Nah I'm kidding but he's a blank slate. All you need is some insane person to project and create fanart for him and I can see this ball rolling into a cult.

That being said there were mega simps for him when the musical came out. Of course why not?

Spongebob - the musical one had lots of simps because Ethan Slater. but I can see the main series one also having simps. People would go crazy for the squidward/spongebob dynamic if it came out. Goofy optimist and bitter pessimist is a natural combination.

But to be fair, I think he'd be more the tumblr precious bean. Cinnamon roll boy. Too pure for this world UwU.

Larry - I'd say he's a himbo but compared to other residence of bikini bottom, he actually has brain cells. I'm not sure if its because everyone else is just incredibly stupid, it makes Larry seem smarter by comparison. Anyways he still got the strong and sweet part down. Go crazy.

King Neptune - both og and movie. Og version is built like a Greek god. Good luck. Movie version is a dilf.

Squilliam - idk snarky rich boy. Someone's gotta like him.

Master Udon - hehehehehe I added him here because I know someone who would LOVE this dude. I can already imagine. He's built like her favorite type. So he went on the list for that reason. I think she'd hate me if I told her xD but there must be other girlies or dudes or simps who'd be the same.

Manray - there's a lot of simps for Manray already. Sometimes he's a little too detailed physically in some episodes. Like in Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III and the tickle belt.

Young mermaid man and barnacle boy - nearly forgot these guys. They're jacked. In the comics they get more development and I can imagine it becoming a thing. Now old mermaid man and barnacle boy. Seek help.

The dirty bubble - tbh I've seen someone on here draw the dirty bubble in lingerie. Idk tf was going on there but good luck.

Gale Gobbler - suit, eccentric, insane. He'd use the weather as pickup lines. Someone can roll with that. I'm sure.

Don Grouper - he's gross. Falls into ugly sexyman but if Pearl likes him then I know some nastyass motherfucker here would like him too.

Fred - voiced by Doug Lawrence lolllll also he had his own episode. He's very sweet, loves his big buff nurse gf.

Norton - he's adorable. Especially in the recent seasons where you get to know more about him. He's so likable. He just wants to make friends and he's pretty enthusastic. I know some people were upset how he became nicer in the later seasons because they liked mean he was in the earlier seasons but lol who cares.

Though if someone was truly insane enough, they too can make him into a sexyman.

Incidental 70 - he's got a cult already. Who's to say a good portion of that cult doesn't have fangirls? I'm leaving that out there for ya.

Stanley Squarepants - despite the fact that the Stanley Squarepants episode being not that good. Stanley still remains well liked. I like him too even despite how frustrating the actual episode was. He had potential.

But that's not why he's here. He's here because this dude seems to have a lot of fics and fanart and selfshippers attached to him. I think they like the quiet, timid, shy nature Stanley has. He hasn't much confidence in himself which props up the fan girl/simp mentality "I can fix him"

Slappy - my favorite boy! You know I couldn't forget about him :) he's ugly and weird. But he's got the tumblr sexyman suit and bowtie (can't forget the bowtie! Classic sexyman trait) also if the creepypastas could get fangirls, if SALADFINGERS could get fangirls then why not Slapzo?🥺

Also other peter parodies on here get some love like Yetch and the others. Slappy is the same flavor as them so he deserves some bitches too😌

Though I think I'd die if someone made a human form and completely tumblr sexyfied him. I'd projectile vomit blood. I just know it. He should look like Hans Beckert or bust😤

Anyways here ya go. This shouldn't have taken so long tumblr is just super buggy for me. Everytime this gets deleted I lose motivation to try to answer all over again. With this happening so frequently, you'd think I'd learn to write it out on the notes app then copy and paste it here. But that takes planning 👀 which ruins my flow.

Hope you enjoy because I'm gonna go throw up my dinner now👍

#Ask #This gets deleted so often because its gods way of telling me not to write this stupid shit #Cursing #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #the spongebob connoisseur #sb #spongebon squarepants #spongebob meme

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